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BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems
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Subject: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: catspaw49 Date: 25 Feb 02 - 04:41 PM As most of you know, THIS is the week for Kendall to see his surgeon down in Boston to take care of the problems he's been having with his vocal cords. In a previous thread Kendall said: "Well folks, the word is this; I have a date with the surgeon on February 27th. He says there is a 75% chance that I will regain full use of my voice. I hope he is being conservative.".......This is the first time Kendall has supported a "conservative" position in many years............ I was doing some investigating on this subject as I have a load of surgical sites bookmarked owing to the fact that I seem to keep using surgeons to stay alive. I was looking into Kendall's situation with the polyps and all and I found that this may not be the problem! Indeed, in many cases with patients such as Kendall, it has been found that something else is irritating the vocal cords. The disease Kendall may have is called the WOSAT syndrome. WOSAT is an acronym for Worn Out Sorry Ass Tales and the syndrome results from telling them repeatedly over and over and over and over and over and over.......Well, you get the point. There is a small flap of tissue where the vocal cords attach at their lower end that can become enlarged over the years. When enlarged it acts as a capture device, picking up worn out punch lines and long winded stories as they pass through. As Kendall has been engaging in this activity for many years, it's likely that this may be his problem. Surgery in this case can be quite dangerous......not to the patient, but to the surgeon and the OR staff. When the Doctor cuts into the flap to reduce it's size, bits and pieces of boring and long winded stories, sad-ass jokes, and insipid punch lines' must be vacuumed out immediately. If the surgeon fails to have all the proper instruments and equipment at the ready, then this pathetic effluvia of a lifetime of "humor" can escape into the atmosphere and completely overcome the staff. There was a case in Nebraska where an OR Team had to be taken from the OR to a local asylum where they recovered, but only after many months of therapy involving listening to Lawrence Welk records while imagining Dubya and Tony Blair going down on each other. In any case Gang, Kendall heads for the Doc on Wednesday and I know he has a good outlook on the whole thing, but maybe we need to give him one more round of Mudcat Support to let him know that we got our best thoughts and prayers heading his way!!! Good Luck Cap'n!!! All my best to you my friend...You have the best wishes and thoughts from Karen and I for good results!!!!!!! ...but you knew that already didn't you.........Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Amergin Date: 25 Feb 02 - 04:47 PM Does this mean that the Gordon Bok Fan will be making your fingers fall off? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: SINSULL Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:18 PM I went to the Motor Vehicle Bureau to get a Maine license today with Kendall in tow. He preferred to stay by the entrance while I dealt with lines, forms, etc. A rather self-important man walked in, looked at the line in disgust, and made the mistake of asking the Captain if there was a long wait. He responded (without missing a beat or cracking a smile) "I was born here." No reaction at all. The man took a number and sat - up front and looking important - probably sighing to himself about "local characters". Kendall will be fine. I just wish it were Friday and over. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Art Thieme Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:19 PM Kendall, Be well !!!!! If you are lucky, you'll end up with a midwestern accent. If not, you'll only be able to eat pork. (deep shoat) Art Thieme -- ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Jeri Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:31 PM Would have asked what sort of forms his mother had to fill out for THAT. I believe polyps are small marine creatures. I squid you not! Your friends all wish you well - I don't think you have any anemonies here. So Kendall asked if he'd be OK after the surgery, and the doctor said his voice might be quieter for a while. Kendall said "Oh I see - hoarse." Well, let me stop floundering around and just say... Kendall, my best wishes for you and your voice. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: M.Ted Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:35 PM Kendall--If prayers, good wishes, meditations, random felicitations, and manic rantings (regardless of what he says, you know that Spaw means well) count, you're getting better already-- George Bailey never had it so good! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: catspaw49 Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:37 PM I should have mentioned that Art Thieme is also a potential WOSAT patient as well.............. Jeri, can't you see what Kendall is going through? Stop it now before you put yourself at further risk!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 25 Feb 02 - 05:57 PM Kendall: You don't need to get rid of all those worn-out tales. You just have to find people who haven't heard them. Maybe it's worn-out listeners that are the problem. Prayers going up down here. Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: katlaughing Date: 25 Feb 02 - 06:45 PM Kendall, what Spaw doesn't know is he already suffers from WOSAT, too! And, Jeri, I'm telling ya, womon, be careful!!**BG** Sending you lots of love and light, here, Kendall and knowing you'll come out ready to tell us more! luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Gareth Date: 25 Feb 02 - 06:46 PM Kendall - I wish you the best of fortune. Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: DougR Date: 25 Feb 02 - 06:52 PM Kendall should probably stay away from farm animals, too, once he gets his vocal problems fixed. Seriously, Kendall, I hope all goes well for you. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: bigchuck Date: 25 Feb 02 - 06:55 PM Well Kendall, the best of luck to ye. I rest confident that we will once again hear those dulcet tones on all their glory. The Woodchuck's are pulling for you and will always have a seat for you at Old Songs. Sandy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: kendall Date: 25 Feb 02 - 07:40 PM You guys are the greatest. Jeri, I love puns! The doctor tells me it is a common problem for speakers and singers, but, I think it's a FLUKE! Spaw, when I first saw this thread I thought, some s.o.a.b. is stealing my name. I was relieved to see it was just you! Fire away Mate! Sandy, keep that bottle of 14 year old scotch handy, I may have something to celebrate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Noreen Date: 25 Feb 02 - 07:51 PM Hugs from this side of the pond, Kendall. When you coming back to sing with us? We didn't have long enough last time... Noreen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: catspaw49 Date: 25 Feb 02 - 07:57 PM Well damn..........Bigchuck has some 14 year old Scotch? I guess you don't drink much huh Sandy? Kendall, if I was you I'd ask for something fresher. I can send you some nice clear corn likker, only about a week or so old too! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: JedMarum Date: 25 Feb 02 - 08:13 PM All the best Kendall. By the way, I brought you along on my drive North (to visit Rick and Mick) and once again again enjoyed your stories and songs. Get well quickly! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Nancy King Date: 25 Feb 02 - 08:28 PM I'll be thinking of you, Kendall -- and chuckling over some of those bad jokes! And now you're the official greeter at the Motor Vehicles office... May all go well for you! Cheers, Nancy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: khandu Date: 25 Feb 02 - 09:29 PM I'm rootin' for you, Kendall! khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Desdemona Date: 25 Feb 02 - 09:33 PM I'm thinking good thoughts of many, many, many VOLUBLE uses of your vocal chords for many years to come! D. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: catspaw49 Date: 25 Feb 02 - 09:59 PM Main Entry: vol·u·ble Pronunciation: 'väl-y&-b&l Function: adjective Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin volubilis, from volvere to roll; akin to Old English wealwian to roll, Greek eilyein to roll, wrap Date: 15th century 1 : easily rolling or turning : ROTATING 2 : characterized by ready or rapid speech : GLIB, FLUENT synonym see TALKATIVE - vol·u·bil·i·ty /"väl-y&-'bi-l&-tE/ noun - vol·u·ble·ness /'väl-y&-b&l-n&s/ noun - vol·u·bly /-blE/ adverb JAYSUS KEERICED!!!......I gotta' get out more. Are people actually using words like that? Thanks Des........I love feeling like a stupid ass!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Dave Swan Date: 25 Feb 02 - 10:07 PM All best wishes to Kendall for the best outcome and a speedy recovery. In the event that voice rest is necessary you can communicate with Catspaw through the use of a few simple signs. There's one in particular that he's VERY used to seeing. Good luck! Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: DougR Date: 25 Feb 02 - 10:10 PM Noreen, you evidently didn't read my post. Kendall will no longer be able to consort with the type critters you introduced him to the last time he crossed the pond. It was you, wasn't it? The Llamas? It has something to do with a conflict between the vocal chords and the sex glands, but I'm not quite sure what. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Murrey Date: 25 Feb 02 - 10:52 PM Good luck Kendall --it's gonna be fine-- sending good thoughts always Murrey |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: DonMeixner Date: 25 Feb 02 - 11:13 PM Kendall, If old single malt is the treatment to get you up to speed again I'll be the first to pony up $5.00 towards a bottle of GlenFiddich or GlenLivet for ya. And you won't have to share it with Sandy, but it sure would be the polite thing to do. Go into this thing unafraid, with the friends here you have pulling for you you are sure to come out the otherside well found and with a fresh scraped bottom. Don |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Big Mick Date: 25 Feb 02 - 11:36 PM Kendall, I found a great get well gift for you. I am sending it along next week. And you are in my very liberal, left wing, but gun toting, prayers. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: lamarca Date: 25 Feb 02 - 11:48 PM Kendall, make sure you have your little note pinned to your hospital gown before you go in (Not This End, Stupid!) and take heart in knowing that a recent study has shown that Moderate drinking protects you from dementia (check here) Good luck,Kendall! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: katlaughing Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:51 AM Don, you saying he's got barnacles on his keel? Or is it crabs they are gonna scrape off? I guess they should be glad it won't be some mouldy old potato like in Big Mick's thong, eh? I sure hope you take Nancy's advice about that sign, Kendall! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Stilly River Sage Date: 26 Feb 02 - 01:13 AM What a hoot! Kendall, I hope you get your v-mail and your email working soon. Meanwhile, with friends like this, you're in great shape. Laughter IS the best medicine! (We've never met, but I live only a few blocks from a Miller Beer Brewing plant, so if you're ever in Fort Worth, I'll take you on the tour. Never been there myself, I'm waiting for an out-of-towner to come along to give me the excuse to visit!) SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: wysiwyg Date: 26 Feb 02 - 02:05 AM Don't do like one old parishioner of ours did-- tucked t the old sidearm under his pillow when they wheeled him into x-ray. We still talk about the doctors' faces when they read THAT film-- flatlanders, no doubt. On second thought-- DO. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 26 Feb 02 - 02:05 AM Kendall, if the doc's going into your gullet, make sure he wasn't performing any proctological exams beforehand. All the best for now and after. Seamus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: gnu Date: 26 Feb 02 - 07:08 AM Good luck eh bud. g |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: RoyH (Burl) Date: 26 Feb 02 - 08:33 AM Kendall, a few years ago I had throat problems that completely took away my voice. When the medical things were fixed I contended with a psychological condition that closed my throat because of fear. Good friends, of the kind you find in the folk world, helped me with their thoughtful encouragement. Eventually things started to improve. Over the next two weeks I'll be off doing 5 gigs. Take heart Captain. Burl |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: jeffp Date: 26 Feb 02 - 09:07 AM Kendall - my good thoughts and prayers go with you. Be well. jeffp |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 02 - 09:38 AM I'm not really very afraid, it's just that I'm going to miss "Peoples Court"! That wont be too bad, but, if I miss Judge Judy, it will spoil my day. Seriously, my deepest thanks to everyone of you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Steve in Idaho Date: 26 Feb 02 - 09:39 AM I was singing "Phoebe Snow" on Paltalk Sunday - with you in mind Kendall. You do well Brother - My thoughts and Prayers are with you - Besides - how can a three legged man with a two legged woman be in THAT much trouble!! Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Kim C Date: 26 Feb 02 - 10:05 AM Good luck friend. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Dani Date: 26 Feb 02 - 10:07 AM Burl's dead-on. That syndrome is no joke. It happens sometimes after women give birth. All things can be overcome with love, courage and patience. The aforementioned is not untrue, but is in poor taste. Given who began the thread, I take some license, and I felt it necessary to make Kendall spit his coffee out this morning, as I have had to spit mine. Seriously, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily Kendall. I, also, offer damn good whiskey, but will make you come to my house to drink it! Dani
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Morticia Date: 26 Feb 02 - 10:36 AM Keeping everything possible crossed for tomorrow, my dear....Gomez isn't best pleased but too bad..*BG*.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Lonesome EJ Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:03 PM Kendall, we'll be sure and tape Judge Judy and Maury Povich for you. Relax and get well. LEJ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:23 PM Dani, I dont drink very often, but, I'd sure love to share a "snort" on your piazza!You still owe me a song. Morticia, I dont know what you said about Gomez? explain. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Noreen Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:26 PM Doug, it was Morticia who led him astray... Kendall was the perfect gentleman when he was with me! *grin*
Noreen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Hollowfox Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:36 PM Kendall, it can't be a fluke, you don't have a problem with your liver. *g* I can't add to the good advice you've gotten here (you'll have to sift it out of the rest, though.). Come what may, I look forward to lifting a dram with you at Old Songs again this year. (Spaw, if anybody but you'd started this thread, I'd have brained them. BTW, I'll donate some aged clear corn; it must be about six weeks old by now. ). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Don Firth Date: 26 Feb 02 - 12:54 PM Kendall, many good thoughts and prayers from the land of the sasquatch and the gooey-duck. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: annamill Date: 26 Feb 02 - 01:15 PM As Kat has said, love and light goes out to you Kendall. We'll all be waiting until we "hear" from you. Good Luck to You!! Love, Annamill |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 02 - 01:56 PM Noreen, a gentleman I am, perfect? hardly, but I'm willing to return to the UK and get some more lessons! I will be at Old Songs even if I cant sing. The music, humor and nice people are not to be missed.Hollowfox, I tried some "shine" in Kentucky years ago, no thanks! One swig of that and you could walk a barbed wire fence barefoot with a wildcat under each arm! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Noreen Date: 26 Feb 02 - 02:16 PM May I translate for Morticia, Kendall? Keeping everything possible crossed for tomorrow, my dear....Gomez isn't best pleased but too bad tr: Gomez isn't pleased that everything of Morticia's is being kept crossed- including her legs? (Wake up at the back there!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: DougR Date: 26 Feb 02 - 04:22 PM Geeze, Kendall, I knew you were old, but I didn't think you were THAT old! Noreen had to 'splain to you what Morticia said? You are in pretty sad shape. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Jeri Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:05 PM Some of the folks who will be at Old Songs this year:
Tom Paxton
...and me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Tinker Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:16 PM Kendall, raising a song, a glass and a prayer.... waiting for good news... Tinker |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: gnu Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:18 PM I'd like to ask that the person most in touch with Kendall over the next days, SINSULL ?, start a thread when the first news is ready to be delivered. Just title it simple so I can't miss it. Thanks in advance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Willie-O Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:21 PM Kendall, you'll be fine I'm sure. Everybody's rootin for you. Including, in his own inimitable fashion, the ubiquitous Mr Spaw. He's just floccinaucinihilipilificating at ya again. Probably suffering from pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis again. (a disease caused by sniffing kitty litter, the kind of activity the defendant is known for.) Perhaps "rooting" isn't the right word in the circumstances, but then, what is? Willie-O
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Mark Cohen Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:34 PM I don't know, gnu...if I saw a thread titled "Simple" I doubt I'd know it referred to Kendall. :-) Kendall, in the words of a venerable Peanuts greeting card from long ago: Before the doctor puts that stick down your throat... ...make sure you find out who ate the ice cream! Aloha, and all the best Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: gnu Date: 26 Feb 02 - 05:42 PM Shite !! "Simply". I am a inginear so my speling and grammer somtimes don't add up good. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: SINSULL Date: 26 Feb 02 - 06:21 PM I knew what you meant, gnu and will post a new thread with all the applicable and appropriate details. If you haven't noticed, there is a full moon looking down on all of us. Too perfect to be real. Share it with me. Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Big Red Date: 26 Feb 02 - 06:30 PM Kendall--I don't know you except through your posts and what others say about you. But I don't believe them. Nobody could be that---. Anyway, count on one more prayer for your good health and voice. Big Red |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: gnu Date: 26 Feb 02 - 06:40 PM Thanks Sins. I have been waiting for the moon, but to no avail... cloudy, even tomorrow, when it will be fullest. A shame because it's so beautiful when the ground is snow laden. Take a long look for me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: SINSULL Date: 26 Feb 02 - 10:19 PM Kendall is scheduled for 11:30AM tomorrow EST. Keep him in mind and the doctor too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: CarolC Date: 27 Feb 02 - 03:14 AM Ayuh! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Feb 02 - 12:12 PM Oughta' be there now............I'm thinkin' 'bout you Cap'n............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: MMario Date: 27 Feb 02 - 12:31 PM While we're waiting to here about Kendall... HOLY SHIT! What a line up for Old Songs! figures I have a conflict! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Kendall Morse-Bad Jokes Cause Problems From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 27 Feb 02 - 02:21 PM This is too late I guess to wish old Kendall well, but my thoughts are with him. I'd like to thank 'Spaw for his medical research delineating the etiology of Kendall's illness. If the surgeon slips, it sounds like 'Spaw better open up some beds in the Neil Young Center. 'Spaw's research does confirm my early diagnosis in a previous Kendall thread. I always knew I was smart and no one else was smart enough to know I was. Roger in Baltimore |