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NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece
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Subject: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 06 Mar 02 - 09:57 AM Just got a call only marginally worse than the one my sister got at 5 am - my eldest niece (the only college student) is in a coma after crashing her car drunkely into a tree. Nobody else in car or tree. All thoughts and music appreciated. Will keep you poseted. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: katlaughing Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:17 AM Ah, Mrrzy, sorry to hear that. A young body can be incredibly resilient, though. My girlfriend's niece went off the road, this winter in a blizzard. Was in a coma with internal injuries, not expected to come out of it, nor to live. That was before Christmas. She is now awake, has had several surgeries to repair internal injuries and is expected to make a full recovery. Her spirit certainly did not want to let go. May your niece's spirit be as strong and the doctors be well-guided. Good thoughts and lighted candle here for your niece. May we have her first name please? kat
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:24 AM Geez, Mrrzy, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she pulls through this. All my good thoughts go out to you and to her. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SINSULL Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:24 AM Mrrzy, Young people don't believe that they can die or even break. But they are resilient. Stay strong for your sister. I will keep you all in my prayers. Mary |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: MMario Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:33 AM my thoughts are with you - at least when my nephew ended up in the hospital the morning of new year's day he hadn't been driving - |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 06 Mar 02 - 10:48 AM Aw NO!!!! I'm here. See PM. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Jock Morris Date: 06 Mar 02 - 12:02 PM You've just got to love this site where people feel so much at home they can post a thread like this. Where else on the internet would you find such openness on a public forum? Best wishes to your niece; hope she pulls through and lives to learn a valuable lesson that cars and alcohol don't mix. Scott |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Allan C. Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:35 PM kat, her first name is Dorian. She is one of the two beautiful daughters of my friend Kathy's sister. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Hollowfox Date: 06 Mar 02 - 01:48 PM Oooo. My thoughts go out to you, her, and the family. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Morticia Date: 06 Mar 02 - 02:58 PM Sending up all possible best thoughts for you and your niece, keep us posted, huh? |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Maryrrf Date: 06 Mar 02 - 03:03 PM Mrrzy, my thoughts and prayers are with your niece and everybody concerned. I know how you must feel. My oldest son ran into a tree the day after he got his license, and I got the dreaded phone call at 12 midnight. I got to the scene and the car was so crushed I thought there was no way he could be alive - and to complicate matters more he is a hemophiliac - meaning his blood doesn't clot well. It took ages for them to cut him out of the car. I had his medicine there and persuaded them to give him an IV containing clotting factor right there at the accident scene. He was rushed to the hospital but only had a broken ankle and cuts and bruises. Miracles do happen - let's hope your niece will be okay. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Rustic Rebel Date: 06 Mar 02 - 03:23 PM Mrrzy, This must be a real hard thing on all of you and your family. Just knowing she is still alive gives much hope. I will send healing energy out for you and for your niece. A good friend of mine died two weeks ago, driving under the influence and hit a tree also. She got thrown out of her vehicle and died instantly.I guess my point is you have time to be with her, talk to her and help her find her way back! Rustic |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Sorcha Date: 06 Mar 02 - 03:25 PM Oh, Mrz, I'm so sorry. Hope she will be OK. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: katlaughing Date: 06 Mar 02 - 04:38 PM Thanks, Allan. {{{{{{Rustic Rebel}}}}}} Sorry to hear about your friend. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: GUEST,Mrr Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:08 PM Thanks, all. No real news, but here is what I know. She went off the road and rolled her car, airbag and seatbelts worked and somebody heard the crash and called it in, so the paramedics got there about 20 mn after. Blood alcohol above legal limits, I don't know how far. She was breathing but her pupils weren't reactive, suspended in her seatbelt. In the ambulance she started having trouble breathing so they intubated, and by the time they got to the ER she was havins sluggish pupil responses. Initial exam shows trouble on the right side, extent unknown, details unknown. She has compression fractures in 4 vertebrae (c5,6 and t3, 8) but no spinal cord damage, apparently she was very straight in the seat when the roof caved in on her. She responds to pain in all extremities, but more so in the hands than the feet. The hospital put her under very heavy sedation, basically knocking her deeper into coma, to decrease swelling in the brain, and this afternoon they weaned her a little to see what came back, and they got more response to pain in extremities, some occasional spontaneous movements, and some breathing attempts - no pupillary response. She coughed once, a good sign. Her intercranial pressure was 5 this morning (0-20 is normal on the scale they are using) but it was up to 12 by this afternoon, and went over 20 when they rolled her over cleaning her up; the swelling isn't likely to peak for a couple-three days, so it will get worse before it gets better. But I'll be back at work tomorrow and will post anything new that I know - and meanwhile I'll check in anyway to see all the support I'm getting, thanks, all. I find myself not worrying IF SHE'll wake up; I wonder WHO will wake up, whether Dorian is already gone and we'll have someone else, changed, different. I want DORIAN back. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:17 PM Mrrzy, with Mudcat being down and then up, I think you did not see my PM about asking if this should go to the prayer chain. What I am going to do is give it to them as a NEWS item, not a prayer request... and hope I have not offended. Normally I would only give the URL-- let people come see for themselves. With Mudcat going down like this-- I can;t be sure that when they come look, they will be able to see the thread. I am going to give them what you have written. Cuz... that is what I can do, and I can't do nothing, instead. I hope if the Cat goes goofy again you will come tell us how it is going, over in the Annexe... or e-mail someone who can post there for you.... love ya-- hang in there-- rest when you can-- ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:17 PM My post after resetting cookie vanished into the ether somewhere.... Thanks for the PMs, all. One common response - feel free to send this to prayer chains / song circles / ANYTHING you think might help. I have great faith in the power of united thought - and in the particular hospital. Also, I reread my above post, and the right side I was talking about was the right side of the brain. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 06 Mar 02 - 11:25 PM OK Mrr-- It is out to the prayer chain, in your own words, with a reminder from me to be respectful of your beliefs in this matter. Perhaps someone else will start an Annexe thread as well? Cross-postingly yours.... ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Fibula Mattock Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:31 AM Mrrzy - Thinking of her, and all of you in her family and friends. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Giac Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:06 AM Positive thoughts with your niece, Mrrzy, and with you and the rest of your family. Mary |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:19 AM I can say this even if you nice people can't - )*&%)%^ my beliefs. Please, anything you think will or might help is fine with me, please feel absolutely free to DO WHAT YOU WILL TO HELP DORIAN, everybody. I really want her to come back. But (hint hint) some music would be helpful. I keep thinking of goin' down that long dusty road... which I do not want to be a one-way street! I'm thinking of Sam Stone, who came home but wasn't there. What else is there? |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:36 AM She's off the ventilator and breathing on her own! |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: jeffp Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:53 AM Good news! This shows that progress is being made. Hang in there, Mrzzy. Dorian too. jeffp |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Big Mick Date: 07 Mar 02 - 11:01 AM Fierce prayers for this young one, Mrrzy. I pray she is your Dorian on the other side. Mick |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 07 Mar 02 - 11:11 AM We're on it, Mrr. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Jeri Date: 07 Mar 02 - 11:27 AM The road back home is long and and dark As it stretches through the night And the empty, endess highway Rolls on til dawn's first light When the hills on the horizon Will be touched with glorious gold And the road won't seem so long and bleak With a new day's hope to hold Good news, and it comes fairly soon after the accident. She has a decent chance at full recovery. I am, and will be, pulling for Dorian and for you. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Jeri Date: 07 Mar 02 - 11:33 AM Long Long Trail is a good one to sing, I think. It's hopeful about being reunited with a loved one and walking it together. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 07 Mar 02 - 11:58 AM That's positive news, Mrrzy. Am sending out thoughts and hopes for continued improvement. Can you give us a general location (such as US state) toward which to direct all this energy? |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: KathWestra Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:17 PM What a frightening time for you all. Add my hopes and thoughts for both you and Dorian to the well-wishes. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Bat Goddess Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:24 PM Healing and positive thoughts coming from this direction, too. A number of years back a friend of a friend was in a coma after a skiing accident (yeah, I really wish those trees would stop jumping out in front of people). The coma lasted a fair amount of time, but my friend Bill visited almost every day and just kept talking to him. It's sometimes hard to keep up a one-sided conversation, but it seems to really help. And eventually the conversation wasn't one sided any more and Bill's friend made a complete recovery. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. Linn |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:26 PM And get music in the room-- it reaches deeper than our words can. Music she loves, the peaceful ones... or some harp music.... ~S~
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Bobert Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:32 PM After reading the initial post, Mrrzy, I stopped and asked the Lord to put His healing hands on Dorian. I will continue to pray fro her full recovery and to check back on this thread. Bobert |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Ebbie Date: 07 Mar 02 - 12:52 PM My niece, a little bitty slip of a girl, was 19 when she did the same thing. She was in a coma for 31 days. When she came back, it's true that she was younger than she had been- for instance, she giggled for hours at the idea that she'd ever owned a car. She is now 38 and has had a good life. She's never married- but then she never did plan to. She has long-term close relationships. She has two rottweilers and a mini-pinscher; bought her own place with a large back yard several years back. Rescues all manner of animals in need; her animal food bill is larger than her own, and her annual vet bill is enormous. In other words, Brenda, as such, did not come back, exactly, but the one who replaced her is a compassionate, lovable, sharp little gal. In Dorian's case, it is a most hopeful sign that she is already breathing on her own. I'm adding my prayers and thoughts to those of others. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 07 Mar 02 - 02:30 PM Thanks for Long Long Road, exactly what I'm seeking. More news gleaned from today's lunchtime visit: She is breathing on her own BUT they do still have her on a ventilator; they have taken her off all the sedatives and gotten nothing back - yet. She still is not responding to any stimuli to her eyes, either light or touch, so they are talking brain-stem damage. But she was in for an MRI, we'll know a lot more after that. I keep trying to remember how young she is and how resilient that makes her brain... and it's Central VA, Charlottesville in particular, UVA hospital even more particularly. One of the best in the world. Her condition is still listed as Critical. I'll check here periodically and will post when I know more, thanks, all. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: CapriUni Date: 07 Mar 02 - 03:35 PM Aiming my good thoughts west toward central VA |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: GUEST,Pete Peterson Date: 07 Mar 02 - 03:50 PM Good thoughts your way. If it were to happen at all, Charlottesville hospital is a place where she can get about the best care you can get ANYWYERE. Hope when (not if) she comes back it will be FULL recovery. Thinking of her-- and you, and your sister. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Allan C. Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:20 PM Dorian is an absolutely beautiful, strong, vital and intellingent young woman. She is surrounded by a loving family as well as an extremely wonderful extended family all of whom I have been blessed to think of as my friends for quite a few years. Dorian has a great number of reasons to do all within her power to come back from that foggy land where she now resides. Any strength that can be sent to help her in her effort to return could do nothing but help. Thanks, you guys. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: DancingMom Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:43 PM Sending hope and best wishes from Richmond. She's in a good place, UVA. I'll be thinking of you all. Sharon |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Amergin Date: 07 Mar 02 - 09:14 PM Jesus, Mrrzy.....(((((mrr))))) You and Dorian are in my thoughts, my dear friend. Take care. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 08 Mar 02 - 08:52 AM Very, very bad news, folks. The MRI revealed severed brain stem nerves, effectively (as I ken things) isolating her newer, human brain parts from the older brain parts that run the body. She has virtually 0 chance of even regaining consciousness, but they wont' call it 0 because sometimes, patients surprise them. But the neuro guys have never in their combined experience seen anyone recover from this kind of damage. The parents have been told that they'll wait a couple of days for the swelling to go down and see what happens, but if nothing does, a "decision" will have to be reached, which I assume will be the decision about terminating life support, but don't know for sure. I couldn't go to the hospital last night, I couldn't find anybody to take the twins and it was getting too grim for them to be there, but I'll go over tonight, the boys will be with their father who will be there today. I'm rambling, OK, I'll stop now. Allan C., sweetie, call me, you know my #. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Morticia Date: 08 Mar 02 - 09:13 AM Oh shit, Mrrzy, I am so sorry. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 08 Mar 02 - 09:26 AM Me too, Mrrzy. This sucks. Still, let's not give up unless the doctors and the parents have to "decide" to do so. Still hoping for the best, Sharon |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: MMario Date: 08 Mar 02 - 09:41 AM Very sorry to hear this Mrrzy. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 08 Mar 02 - 10:06 AM With you, Mrr. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SINSULL Date: 08 Mar 02 - 11:58 AM Stay strong, yourself, Mrrzy. Take one day at a time. Mary |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Ebbie Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:08 PM (((((((((Dorian)))))))))) |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: katlaughing Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:48 PM Very sorry to hear this, Mrrzy. Will continue to hold her in the Light. kat |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: CapriUni Date: 08 Mar 02 - 01:01 PM Mrrzy}}}}}} All I can do is share my love. Nothing else I can say is worth much right now... |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: CapriUni Date: 08 Mar 02 - 01:03 PM That was, of course meant to be a two armed "hug". Love, Ann |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: GUEST,Pete Peterson Date: 08 Mar 02 - 02:08 PM rats! Don't give up the ship. Typing through tears. How can we help you all deal with this horrible news? do NOT give up hope |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Cappuccino Date: 08 Mar 02 - 05:25 PM Oh, very sorry to read this. Am adding to the hopes and prayers. - Ian B |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Amergin Date: 08 Mar 02 - 06:20 PM Mrrzy, My dear friend...I am sorry to hear this...((((((Mrrzy))))) Much love going your way...and I will continue to keep her in my wishes. Love, nathan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: CarolC Date: 08 Mar 02 - 08:14 PM I'm very sorry to hear this, Mrrzy. My best thoughts and wishes go to you, your niece, and to your family. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Lonesome EJ Date: 08 Mar 02 - 08:32 PM My thoughts are with you, Mrzzy. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Bobert Date: 08 Mar 02 - 08:33 PM I am so so sorry. You, and Dorian's family will be in my thoughts and prayers, Mrrzy. Bobert |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 09 Mar 02 - 03:41 PM I know we are all noticing that it's been quite some time since Mrrzy could give us some news. Hard times, whatever has been happening. Mrr, when you get back to check in, remember we are all here loving you. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 10 Mar 02 - 07:41 PM I had the privilege of sitting up with Dorian for 2 hours Friday night (well, Sat am 6-8), and had the chance to tell her everything and say goodbye. Tonight she will be taken off life support (she's initiating breathing but is on vent support); if she lives without the ventilator, I think they will terminate nutrition and hydration. My hope is that the poor parents do not have to do that, and that she fails to breathe enough on her own. I am so grateful to the rescue squad and the parents for letting me say goodbye, and am mightily comforted by that thought, but it is still the saddest thing imaginable. All your support and thoughts are much appreciated. I know AllanC had a chance to come over, I hope you got to see her, sweetie, and make your peace as such can be. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Mar 02 - 07:55 PM Oh Mrrz.......I've been gone and had totally missed this thread. All of you have my sincerest condolences and I hope for the best for all of you as you struggle through this tragic time. Nothing can equate with the loss of a child, a young life not yet in bloom. May the support of all everywhere help to ease the sorrow. I am glad you had your time together today and will now think only in the best of the wonderful times now past. Think more not of what you will miss, but more on what you would have missed had she not lived the years she had. Our deepest sympathies. Pat and Karen |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Noreen Date: 10 Mar 02 - 08:14 PM Very sorry to hear the news, Mrrzy. Noreen |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: DancingMom Date: 10 Mar 02 - 08:25 PM I'm sorry. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 10 Mar 02 - 09:13 PM Mrr, I'll be more than glad to hear from you if you want to call tonight. And we will both be thinking of you in the wee hours. It's a tough watch to stand. I'm sorry you have to stand it at a distance. Of course I will update the prayer chain as well. There will be a lot of love focused on Dorian, and the people who love her, tonight. Allan, please know we are with you, too-- anything you need, you got it. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: katlaughing Date: 10 Mar 02 - 11:14 PM May she go in ease and peacefulness; and may her family find solace from sorrow in their memories of her time with them. Our deepest sympathies to her family, Mrrzy, Allan and others. Kat & Rog |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Nancy King Date: 10 Mar 02 - 11:39 PM So very sorry to hear this sad news. Mrrzzy, you and your family are in my thoughts. Nancy |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:04 AM Dorian died at approximately 11:00 tonight, still at the hospital. She didn't survive being off the vent, so her family has been spared having to watch her die over weeks or perhaps months, which I am finding comforting. I will keep watching this thread, I appreciate all your sympathy and concern. Thanks, all. Sing a song for her. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Allan C. Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:07 AM Mrrzy has asked me to post an update. Dorian passed on late this evening very shortly after her breathing apparatus was disconnected. I am happy for Dorian and for her family that she made the transition so quickly. Dorian's family are aware of the many good thoughts that have been sent their way by so many wonderful people and they are grateful for all of them.
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Big Mick Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:14 AM God be good to her. Please our sincerest and deepest sympathies. Mick |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: CarolC Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:43 AM My dear friend, LR Mole, said this to me shortly after my mother passed. It brought me comfort to read these words then, and again after Mole, himself, passed. Maybe they will bring you some comfort too...
Remember that "light" means less substantial, but also more illuminated. They all leave us lighter when they pass. Go in peace, all of you dear ones who have enlightened us with your presence in this world. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: alison Date: 11 Mar 02 - 01:17 AM my sincere condolences.......... thoughts, hugs, and prayers to all of you..... love alison |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 11 Mar 02 - 01:37 AM Very sorry to here this. i don't really know what to say, my thoughts are with you Mrzzy at this sad time. John |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Melani Date: 11 Mar 02 - 02:45 AM I'm so sorry. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: MMario Date: 11 Mar 02 - 08:05 AM To lose a young person, I think, whether a child, a relative or a friend is one of the most devastating experiences one can go through. My thoughts are with Mrrzy and Darian's family. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Mar 02 - 08:47 AM Mrr, Allan, when you can, I would love to hear more about this extraordinary young lady. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:31 AM My deepest sympathy to you, Mrrzy, to your entire extended family, to Allan C and all other friends of the family, to Dorian's friends throughout her too-brief life. I hope that this sad experience will help more young people to realize and remember how precious their lives are to their loved ones, as they rush toward adulthood and independence. My sincerest condolences and hope for peace in your soul. Sharon |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Bat Goddess Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:38 AM Our thoughts are with you -- and all her family and friends. Linn & Tom |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Alice Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:38 AM My deepest sympathy to you and all close to Dorian, feeling the loss of her young life. Alice |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:41 AM Mrr, Allan, there is also an Annexe thread running with additional thoughts for you all, HERE. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Jon Freeman Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:53 AM I'm so sorry mrzzy. Jon |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: KathWestra Date: 11 Mar 02 - 09:58 AM Row on, row on Another day will shine with brighter light. Ply, ply the oars and pull away, There's dawn beyond the night. Thinking of you as you grieve. Holding you with lovingkindness. Kathy |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Alice Date: 11 Mar 02 - 10:07 AM My deepest sympathy to you and all close to Dorian, feeling the loss of her young life. Alice |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 11 Mar 02 - 10:54 AM Mrr. I am so sorry, my deepest condolences, and thoughts to you and yours. Hopefully all the above words will offer you and yours some comfort, know that you are not on your own and don't be afraid to reach out to those closest. With regards Ella |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Giac Date: 11 Mar 02 - 11:29 AM Thoughts are with you Mrrzy, and with your family and friends. Through Mudcat, you have friends around the globe who join to encircle you with virtual love and wish you comfort and peace. Mary |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Sorcha Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:01 PM Oh, Mrzz, I am so sorry. Just saw this as my server has been down. Keep her memory warm. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: jeffp Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:01 PM Our deepest sympathies go to you and yours. jeffp and Bonnie |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Ebbie Date: 11 Mar 02 - 12:11 PM My deepest sympathies. And now comes the difficult time... Cherish each other. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Charcloth Date: 11 Mar 02 - 02:05 PM So sorry, wish I could say more Charcloth |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: GUEST,Pete Peterson Date: 11 Mar 02 - 02:19 PM so sorry to hear this! very much at a loss for words; know that I am crying with you |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Amergin Date: 11 Mar 02 - 06:28 PM Mrr, my very dear friend....please know that I am thinking of you.... |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Mar 02 - 11:40 PM Posting this for Deda-- ... My condolences and sympathy to Mrrzy; you and your family are in my prayers, and I grieve with you for the loss. ~Deda |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:06 AM Thanks, all. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SINSULL Date: 12 Mar 02 - 11:28 AM Dorian has moved on to a better place. I am so sorry for her friends and family. If there is a bright side, she will always be young and beautiful in your memories. Pay close attention to your own children right now, Mrrzy. They will need help understanding what has happened. Stay well. Mary |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Biskit Date: 12 Mar 02 - 05:33 PM Mrrzy, I am so sorry to hear of your famlies tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you Dear. Donnie |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Jeri Date: 12 Mar 02 - 05:50 PM I've been trying to think of something vaguely intelligent to say, and I can't. I'm so sorry. Love, Jeri |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Allan C. Date: 12 Mar 02 - 05:59 PM I have hijacked many of the good wishes here for myself. I hope you don't mind. In my heart I felt as related to Dorian as Mrrzy. In my soul, I know I share the same bond. Thanking you all, Allan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 12 Mar 02 - 06:26 PM No, Allan, you have very much been in the thoughts and prayers of a number of us, as have all who have loved this child. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 13 Mar 02 - 12:23 PM I saw the obit on the Daily Progress website; this morning there was a service in celebration of Dorian's life. Extra thoughts going out to Mrrzy, Allan C and their loved ones today, for strength of spirit. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:27 PM Is this it? ~S~ ==================================================== Dorian Stacy Brown Dorian Stacy Brown, 20, died Sunday, March 10, 2002, as a result of injuries from an automobile accident on March 6. Dorian was born Feb. 21, 1982, at Twin Oaks Community in Louisa. She attended schools in Albemarle County and graduated from Monticello High School in 2000. She loved gymnastics, diving, reading, hanging out with her friends, and her cat, Teddy. Dorian was a second year student at the University of Virginia and worked as a bus driver for the University Transit Service. Dorian will be remembered for her inner strength and peace, and her luminous smile and eyes that crinkled when she laughed. She is survived and will be greatly missed by her parents Joyce Brown, Christopher Pax, Dexter Griffin and Susan Nesbit; her sisters Miranda Pax and Kathryn Nesbit; and a multitude of loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. There will be a celebration of Dorian's life at 11 a.m. Wednesday at the University of Virginia Chapel, with burial following at Twin Oaks Community. In lieu of flowers, a donation may be sent to the Charlottesville-Albemarle Rescue Service or to the charity of your choice. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:48 PM Susan: Yes, that's the one I read. A hard day, today is. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:22 PM Yes. But these kinds of hard days can often hold much joy and love in them too, and sometimes even laughter. We lost a young lady not long ago, under somewhat similar circumstances. She had decreed that if the day ever came, SPIRIT IN THE SKY must be played at her service. It was, and loud. Rocked our old folks so hard they were grinning by the time we got to the reception. Even the family... especially the family. A release. She was so smart! *G* Have to wait and see what Mrr and Allan and others need... whatever mood they are in, we'se here, tho, eh? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Dani Date: 13 Mar 02 - 08:03 PM It's a hard day to be a sister. I will sing for you a song I don't even know the name of. I sing it as a spiritual, mournful, but then at the end it becomes triumphant, sung by all with the strength of community: "Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world, I'm going home to live with God. No more weepin' and wailin'... goin' home to live with God." You and I have disagreed about God and religion in the past, Mrrzy: Viva la difference! Words are not what's important. It's the grieving and the rejoicing. Together. Dani |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Ebbie Date: 13 Mar 02 - 10:18 PM Mrrzy and Allan C, you may be sure there are a lot of us still cradling you in our thoughts and hearts. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:48 AM Yes, that was her obit, thanks, I had looked for it unsuccessfully, guess I was a day off. I want to tell you all about her ceremonies, as they were (to my mind suprisingly) beautiful and comforting. The service at the University Chapel was done in a slightly Quaker-meeting-ish way, where there were some prepared statements but mostly, anybody who wanted to say something, could. Very little was said of gods, but Amazing Grace and a few hymns were sung (I couldn't sing along, too many tears in the way). The father who raised her gave a lovely eulogy, and even her sister (age 17) was able to say a few words, I was impressed. The Twin Oaks crowd, who've known Dorian since birth and her parents even longer, had made the coffin themselves, dug the grave themselves, and chose a lovely, lovely place to put her. There are maybe 10-12 graves there, all bounded by something like stones, some with headstones, most without. AllanC, if you know the area, she's on the hillside right at Margaret's feet. Dorian was borne in by 2 uncles, 2 Twin Oakers, and 2 college friends, placed so her head was uphill. They sang a round as she was lowered, Dear friend, dear friend / let me tell you how I feel / You have given me such pleasure / I love you so (to the tune of a slow HeighHo Nobody Home). I couldn't sing then, but I'd sung to her at her hospital bed, and sang later at the post-funeral party thing. We all got a chance to toss a handful on her coffin in the grave, I opted for the rose petals (roses to deaden the clods as they fall), then people were throwing handfuls of dirt (her sister first), then shovelfuls, and all of a sudden I realized we were just burying her. When the grave was filled, people planted flowers, bulbs and suchlike all over the mound. It was absolutely beautiful. What I sang later was the version of Streets of Laredo I know from of old, whence the line about Roses to deaden the clods as they fall. That kind of epitomizes to me this particular death - given that it was basically her own bad decision that led her to this end. At one point a story was told about her falling out of the loft at TO, landing unharmed in between two large piles of hammocks which broke her fall. Her dad said he thought that it was that which might have given her the taste for gymnastics and diving... and later, talking about the same story, her Mom said "I'm sure the only reason she's alive today is that she landed on her feet instead of her head..." there was a very loud silence as we all tried to find a way to continue the conversation... and then she said something like Oh, that's right, she's not alive today, laughed and went on... poignant as all getout, indeed. And I got back to work today and some colleagues had sent flowers, which was really nice, it wasn't my own department, but some folks I work with often who are mostly in other states anyway... very sweet. And tomorrow I go in for that foot surgery, so I'll be offline for a while again. Thanks, all. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:57 AM Thanks for telling us, Mrrzy. None of us are going anywhere if you want to say more, later. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 14 Mar 02 - 02:37 PM ...and when we do go anywhere, we come back...*G* I'm curious about this Twin Oaks Community. Is it a Quaker community? Something like the Philadelphia PA area's "Pendle Hill"? Here's a link to Pendle Hill info: http://www.pendlehill.org/ Wow, Mrrzy, what a beautiful service. Funny, isn't it, that we so often refer to our loved ones in the present tense when they're gone (or, at least, gone from our sight...). I'm sure that Dorian's mom had told that story and said that phrase so often that it just came out automatically, but it surely was poignant, as you say. I guess Dorian's spirit is vibrant still. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: SharonA Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:01 PM This looks like the place: http://www.twinoaks.org/ How cool! |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:01 PM Twin Oaks is a plain, unadorned, hippie commune, that has been working for decades, the only one left, I believe, who can still make that claim. They are a world-class manufacturer of those hammocks, run their own dairy and all (the sound of the cows lowing while we were burying Dorian sounded exactly like pain, it was quite fitting), and are a community of tightly-knit relationships built out of human respect for other humans who respect other humans, basically. It's the best. A little lily-white for my taste, but the best of the best nonetheless. If any of you are moved to donate in Dorian's memory to anything, I'd like it to be them. See the Twin Oaks website for more info. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:08 PM Cross posted, thanks SharonA! |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Bobert Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:19 PM I am so sorry. After reading all that you have shared with us I feel Heaven will be that much richer. But that does not stop the hurt. You, Dorian and your family are in my thoughts and will continue to be in my prayers. Bobert |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Áine Date: 14 Mar 02 - 09:47 PM Dear Mrrzy, I'm so sorry for your loss and for Dorian's parents. Her ceremonies sounded beautiful and loving; just as she was herself, I'm sure. I realize that nothing can assuage your grief, but you and your family are in my heart and thoughts. -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Hippie Chick Date: 22 Mar 02 - 11:10 AM Deepest Sympathy to you and your family, Mrrzy. I'm on the 'cat prayer chain. My prayers are there for you. HC |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Mrrzy Date: 22 Mar 02 - 04:06 PM Thanks. I wasn't going to refresh this but since you did, here is the song devon (professionally she goes by that, small d) sang at the burial: Goin' Out (By Sarah Harmer) When the days close on All the heaviness around you Oh, our lives don't end I really liked her singing, I hadn't realized she was famous. And in other news, I found out that they did indeed donate Dorian's organs, which I was very happy (if that's the right word) to hear. Gruesome little coincidence story: I got home from teaching Weds night, and one of the boys' (and Dorian's) aunts had been babysitting with her 13-yo son, so of course we fell to chatting, so of course we talked about Dorian. This is how I found out about the organ donation. I was kind of crying and said something similar to, I like to think that somebody has her eyes, at which point 13yo squirmed... so I turned on the TV (to change the subject!) and saw... a disembodied eye being fingered by somebody! I'd gotten into some forensics something at EXACTLY the right/wrong time, or something! All three of us squirmed then, but it was funny. |
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Subject: RE: NonMusic: Thoughts for Mrr's Niece From: Susan from California Date: 23 Mar 02 - 11:40 AM My husband has had two cornea transplants, and we are very appreciative that someone donated theirs. Most organ donation groups urge folks to talk to their families about donations so that when the time comes, there can indeed be some happiness in knowing that a part of a loved one lives on, albeit in a new body. You mentioned earlier in the thread foot surgery, everything ok on that front? Sue |
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