the something and the maid

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 05:54 PM

The style of those last 4 lines looks familiar, WWI song?

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 09:57 AM

Here is a valuable piece of folklore that most of us have never heard of. Mudcat at its best. Does anyone know if the tune is a well-known one, or does it have its own tune? I wonder if anyone responded to John Mehlberg's request.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 07:06 PM

I associate that sort of brassy "I really mean it!" buildup with Ethel Merman, though I can't name a specific song.

Of course others have used it since - and possibly before.

The Library of Congress seems to have no copyright record of a song called "The Farmer and the Maiden."

"Cadet," btw, is often pronounced "kAY-det."

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 04:32 PM

About 35 years ago an older friend told me he used to sing part of this at the University of Chicago in the late '40s.

As I remember it:

You can do it if you wanna,
But you better do it right.
And you better not do it
Like you did the other night.
'Cause if you do,
I'm telling you,
You're never gonna do it again.
(I mean take my picture!)
You're never going to do it again!

But he just recited it to me without a tune.

He believed this was the whole song.

William Wallrich (a WW2 veteran), "Air Force Airs" (1957) has this. His book includes no tunes:

                "THE COED AND THE CADET

An old one - popular in World War II and Korea.

The coed and the cadet were courting, I declare,
Down by the gate; they didn't know that I was there.
Oh, the coed she was bashful and the cadet he was shy,
He asked if he could, and this was her reply:

'You can do it if ya wanna,
But you'd better do it right,
And you'd better not do it
Like you did the other night!
'Cause if you do, I'm telling you,
I'll never let you do it again -
I really mean it -
I'll never let you kiss me again.'"

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,Debbie
Date: 23 Sep 23 - 11:48 PM

The farmer and the maid
We’re courtin’ by the glade
down by the well
they didn’t know I was there
Oh the farmer he was bashful
and the maid and she was shy
he asked her if he could and this was her reply.
You can do it if you wanna,
but you gotta do it right
and don’t you dare do it
like you did the other night
for you do
I won’t be true
and I’ll never let you do it again
I really mean it
I’ll never let you kiss me again!

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 07:06 PM

I associate that sort of brassy "I really mean it!" buildup with Ethel Merman, though I can't name a specific song.

Of course others have used it since - and possibly before.

The Library of Congress seems to have no copyright record of a song called "The Farmer and the Maiden."

"Cadet," btw, is often pronounced "kAY-det."

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 05:54 PM

The style of those last 4 lines looks familiar, WWI song?

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 04:32 PM

About 35 years ago an older friend told me he used to sing part of this at the University of Chicago in the late '40s.

As I remember it:

You can do it if you wanna,
But you better do it right.
And you better not do it
Like you did the other night.
'Cause if you do,
I'm telling you,
You're never gonna do it again.
(I mean take my picture!)
You're never going to do it again!

But he just recited it to me without a tune.

He believed this was the whole song.

William Wallrich (a WW2 veteran), "Air Force Airs" (1957) has this. His book includes no tunes:

                "THE COED AND THE CADET

An old one - popular in World War II and Korea.

The coed and the cadet were courting, I declare,
Down by the gate; they didn't know that I was there.
Oh, the coed she was bashful and the cadet he was shy,
He asked if he could, and this was her reply:

'You can do it if ya wanna,
But you'd better do it right,
And you'd better not do it
Like you did the other night!
'Cause if you do, I'm telling you,
I'll never let you do it again -
I really mean it -
I'll never let you kiss me again.'"

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 24 Sep 23 - 09:57 AM

Here is a valuable piece of folklore that most of us have never heard of. Mudcat at its best. Does anyone know if the tune is a well-known one, or does it have its own tune? I wonder if anyone responded to John Mehlberg's request.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,Debbie
Date: 23 Sep 23 - 11:48 PM

The farmer and the maid
We’re courtin’ by the glade
down by the well
they didn’t know I was there
Oh the farmer he was bashful
and the maid and she was shy
he asked her if he could and this was her reply.
You can do it if you wanna,
but you gotta do it right
and don’t you dare do it
like you did the other night
for you do
I won’t be true
and I’ll never let you do it again
I really mean it
I’ll never let you kiss me again!

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,#
Date: 28 Feb 21 - 09:17 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyf7LNurQ4I

The sound quality is not very good, but it is from 1903. I think it may be the song suggested by GUEST,Guest on 05 Nov 20.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Feb 21 - 06:27 PM

I used to sing this around 1946:

The farmer and the maid
Were courtin' I declare,
Down by the fence,
But they didn't know I was there.

The farmer he was bashful,
And the maid, she was shy.
He asked her if he could,
And this was her reply:

"You can do it if you wanna,
But you got to do it right--
Not like the way
that you did the other night.

For if you do,
I won't be true,
I'll never let you
(slight pause)
kiss me again."

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 10:02 PM

The Reuben & the Maid. Try looking for an old phonograph record of that.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 01:42 PM

Style is 1920s at a guess and not old folk song although the content is. Tune should be decisive. Couldn't be based on The walruss and the Carpenter could it? The Lion and the Unicorn?

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 04:50 PM

We used to sing it this way when I was younger...


The Farmer and the maiden they were courtin' mighty fair
They went behind the garden gate, they didn't know I was there

The farmer he was bashful
The maiden she was shy
I overheard them talkin'
and this was her reply

You can do it if ya wanna but you gotta do it right
You better not doing like you did the other night
'Cause if you do
I'm telling you
You're never gonna do it again -I mean the washin!
Never gonna do it again -and there was Grandma!
Swinging on the outhouse door -without her nightie!
Waiting for the garbage man...

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,Lana
Date: 04 Jun 08 - 09:21 PM

I just stumbled onto this old post while looking for old mischievous songs. Here is the version we sang in our figure skating club in the late 70's.

The Farmer and the maid
Were courtin' something fair
Down by the garden gate
They didn't know I was there

The farmer, he was bashful
The maid, she was shy
But when he asked her if he could
This was here reply

You can do it if you want to
But you better do it right
You better not do it
Like you did the other night
Cause if you do
I'm telling you

I'll never let you do it again
I mean the laundry

I'll never let you do it again
And there was Grandma

Swinging on the outhouse door
Without a nightie

Waiting for the garbage man
Who was a playboy

To take her to the playboy club
To be a bunny

Baby can you ask for more
5 dollars pleeeeeeese
Inflation you know

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: John M.
Date: 10 Dec 05 - 04:57 PM

GUEST,Ontario Canada and others,

Would any of you be willing to sing me your version of the song so that I can get the tune for folklore purposes?   You can be anonymous if you like.

You can reach me by phone at 314.381.0492 (central time in the USA) or you can email me at [e-mail]

Your help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: GUEST,Ontario Canada
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 08:55 PM

Hey, I'd just thought I'd add my version that my mother used to sing to me as a kid

Oh, the farmer and the maiden
They were courtin' mighty fair
Went behind the garden gate
To see what was there

Now the farmer he was bashful
The maiden she was shy
He whispered something in her ear
And this was her reply

You can do it if you wanna
You can do it if you try
But you better not do it like
You did the other night
For if you do
I'm telling you
You're never gonna do it again

I mean the washing
Never gonna do it again

And there was Grandma
Swinging on the outhouse door
Without her nightie on
Lordy, could you ask for more
She asked for Grandad
Grandad shut the outhouse door

They made a million
Coulda made a million more!

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From:
Date: 17 Jul 05 - 08:16 PM

Eric, My father has been dead since 1973 but he sang this song while I was growing up and I have been searching for the rest of the words ever since....If you know any more please HELP

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Susan of DT
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:50 AM

These are nothing like the Trooper and the Maid. Different song.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From:
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 05:20 PM

Another variation, but similair. My ex-step-father used to sing it all the time:

Now the farmer and the maiden,
They were wooing, I declare,
Down by the garden gate,
They didn't know I was there.

Now the farmer, he was bashful,
and the maiden she was shy,
and when he asked her if he could,
This was her reply:

Well, you can do it if ya wanna,
but'cha gotta do it right,
and don'cha never do it like,
you did the other night.

Cause if you do,
I'm gonna tell on you,
and I won't let'cha....

....<<2 second pause>>....

...kiss me anymore.

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Karen
Date: 13 Jan 97 - 11:09 AM

Well, the Girl Scout troop I was with in the 70's sang a slightly different version . . .
(Second posting and slightly corrected version . . . )

The farmer and the maiden were courting, I declare,
Went out into the garden, they didn't know I was there.
The farmer, he was timid.
The maid, she was shy.
And when he popped the question, this was her reply:

You can do it if ya wanna, but ya better do it right
You better not do it like you did the other night!
Cuz if you do, I'm a-telling you,
I'm never, ever, never, gonna kiss ya again.

(and then a refrain or echo of

"and there was Granny swinging on the outhouse door, ba-da-da-bop!")

Don't remember why we sang the echo--but it cracked us all up for some reason . . .

Subject: RE: the something and the maid
From: Ian
Date: 13 Jan 97 - 02:30 AM

Beth,

You might try 'The Trooper and the Maid'. It's a Scottish song & as far as I know it's Traditional. (I don't have the words in my head, but I can look them up for you.)

Ian O'Donnell

Subject: the something and the maid
From:
Date: 12 Jan 97 - 01:41 PM

I'm looking for the name and writer of this song. I suspect it is an old folk song. But the following lyrics have been changed during World War II by training pilots. Here are their lyrics:

The pilot and the maid
were spooning I declare
down by the flightline
they didn't know I was there

The pilot was so bashful
and the maid she was so shy
he asked her if she would
and this was her reply

you can do it if you wanna
but you gotta do it right
I'll never let you do it
like you did the other night

'cause if you do
I won't be true
I'll never let you do it again
I really mean it
I'll never let you check me again

Thank you very much if you can help me.
Beth Stemple