BS: Hamsters Save Lives!

Subject: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 09:08 PM

according to a recent newspaper article, (Hull Daily Mail, 18th June 2002, Page 6) Having a pet such as a hamster can reduce stresss, and everybody knoews that stress is dangeros and can jill you, so if you feel streessed just buy a hamster, they are only 2.5 pounds each.john

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 09:11 PM

2.5 pounds! Sounds like you've got some really huge hamsters over there, John. You sure those aren't hedgehogs?

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 09:13 PM

If you gave up drinking and smoking, you'd be a lot less likely to be 'jilled' John

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 09:19 PM

hedgehogs is spiky thinhs that eat werms and slugs etc and hamsters are small things that live in a cage and eeat nuts and stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: The Pooka
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 10:23 PM

But sometimes hamsters experience stress, too -

Hamster thrown from truck

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 05:39 AM

And, if your hamsters weighed 2.5 pounds, you'd never go hungry. Unless you mean to say they cost 2.5 pounds, in which case, you'd never go hungry.... if you can afford to pay 2.5 pound for a rodent. Better off to get a cat who will help to keep the rodent population down.

Okay... I need more tea. I've got to stop posting first thing in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: MudGuard
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 05:40 AM

Hamsters Save Lives!
Yes, but it takes an awful lot of them to feed all the undernurished people in Africa on hamsters... ;-)

they are only 2.5 pounds each.
hamsters are small things that live in a cage and eeat nuts and stuff

Not so small at 2.5 pounds. Perhaps you should give them less nuts and stuff to eat ;-)

Or did you mean 2.5 Pound Sterling? Then you forgot to add all the cost for cage, running wheels (ok, there were plans to make up for the costs of that item by attaching it to an electric generator See thread: Free Electricity from Hamsters), nuts and stuff, ...

MudGuard

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 06:39 AM

Anyway - gerbils are much better.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 06:42 AM

A fat hampster could definitely save your life if you were starving!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Grab
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 07:27 AM

The "hamster thrown from truck" has unavoidably brought back memories of the film "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray and the gopher in the truck.

"Mirrors, use your mirrors!"

Classic film...

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 09:10 AM

LOL!!! The "Hamster Thrown From Truck" story is a realization of some of my own darker fantasies regarding the furry little beasts! I have long wanted to send a hamster aloft in a hot air balloon, a radio control airplane, a glider, or a rocket...only lack of funds and a certain basic level of compassionate restraint (or shame) has kept me from doing so. I would also love to crew my RC sailboat with a hamster, and try one out in an RC submarine...or maybe waterskiing behind a little speedboat. Some of those RC speedboats go up to 50 mph.

Has anyone else got any neat ideas along this line?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 09:19 AM

there's creatures at the north pole very similar to hamsters.

at certain times of the year they become suicidal en masse and stampede to the nearest icy precipice and all fling themselves off into thin air, dropping into the arctic sea & drown.

perhaps they could be caught in nets attached to a turbine which could then be used for central heating & hot showers in peoples igloos!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 10:10 AM

If I had a hamster my cat would hunt it, play with it, kill it, then eat it!!! I find that stroking my cat relieves stress and she appreciates it purring in return!!

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 10:30 AM

Recipes for dead hamsters:
Skin and fillet your hamsters (one per person), reduce with boiling water, and strain. Liquidise then spread on bread, with sugar to taste.
If you don't appreciate this, spread the resultant mix in your garden, to get lovely "Tulips from hamster jam" *BG*

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: The Pooka
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 10:52 AM

Here ye go then, LH - when you get the page just scroll down a little bit, to the write-up & photos of
Twiggy the waterskiing squirrel

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 11:11 AM

I think someone just leaked the secret Marmite recipe!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: The Pooka
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 01:00 PM

LH, re your "own darker fantasies regarding the furry little beasts" - years ago somebody gave my son an Estes Flying Model Rocket kit called the Eggspress. Has a bulbous "payload bay" that supposedly will carry an egg 300 feet up, then deploy an "18-inch 'chute for Eggsactingly soft recovery". Now, 300' ain't stratospheric; but still, maybe that unconical nosecone could accomodate a little hamster...not the 2.5-pounder, I grant you...the kits remains unassembled...should I put it up on the Auction?? :) (btw as a kid I launched an Ant on a water-pump "rocket"...wished I'd had a lunar lander, would've launched my Aunt...ahhh nevermind.)

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 01:15 PM

Yeah, I've heard of those Estes rockets. You could definitely sell it on Ebay, but I recommend doing a couple of historic hamster launches before that. You will have to rigorously test the hamsters first, and narrow it down to a few candidates who have the "Right Stuff". This will require centrifuges, hair dryers, and other devices to subject the hamsters to severe conditions and see if they can cut the mustard. With the right hamster in the cargo pod, I expect a history-making mission would be just around the corner! This could be your big break, not to mention the hamster's...to boldly go where no hamster has gone before!!! Maybe we can get William Shatner to endorse this effort...that would no doubt bring in massive infusions of cash, and do much to bring the project to fruition.

The WSSBA is willing to send a photography and research team to document the whole thing!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: The Pooka
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 01:26 PM

LH **ROTFLMAO**!! Shatner, even! Wawwww hawhawhawhaw...whew! "...centrifuges, hair dryers, and other devices to subject the hamsters to severe conditions and see if they can cut the mustard." Eeek squeeeak!!

With apologies to W.C. Fields for slight script alteration,

"Gol-lee. What ever happened to the hamster?" "He was verrry goood, with mustarrrd."

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 02:49 PM

I'm not sure about hamsters, but guinea pigs...yum!!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Deda
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 06:54 PM

The younger brother of a friend of mine had a hamster which got loose. In his efforts to find it, my friend accidentally killed the poor critter. To which his brother said, in best Jimmy Cagney tones, "You killed my rat, you dirty brother!"

True story!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 06:04 AM

Mr Happy... they are called lemmings. Another chance to plug one of my favourite movies of all time, "Never Cry Wolf", based on Farley Mowatt's (Mowwat Mowat ?... need more tea) novel of the same name. The scenes of wolf / lemming / white man / Inuit interaction are some of the funniest moments I have ever witnessed on screen.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 06:12 AM

I've still got a copy of the "Lemmings" computer arcade game!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 06:13 AM

thanks gnu,

i already did a ps on the other hamster thread 'free electricity from hamsters

regards

mr h

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST,Julie B at home
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:04 PM

My partner Nick just cannot understand people who confuse guinea pigs with hamsters. We've kept several guinea pigs over the years, and it's not uncommon for people to say, on seeing one "what a nice hamster!". A few weeks ago, Nick was once again complaining about the inability of people to distinguish between the two. The very next day, a friend came round to practice some folk tunes. After using the downstairs loo, where hang several guinea pig pictures, the friend exclaimed "oh, somebody likes hamsters!"

The following weekend we had a housewarming party. We stuck a hand-written speech bubble on the largest picture saying "I AM A GUINEA PIG ... NOT A HAMSTER!". We like to think we did our bit to educate the masses.

Julie B

P.S. MInd you, I don't think even guinea pigs reach 2.5 pounds. That would be the size of a bag of sugar plus half a pound of butter. A big pig. Maybe John is about to buy a hedgehog? How much do they weigh? On second thoughts, it's getting dark here now, and I do have a pari of kitchen scales....

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Fadac
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:31 PM

Hmmm Hamster testing for space. 1. Could put hamster inside hubcap of wheel, drive fast, remove hubcap, look for hamster puke. 2. Wash hamster, put in dryer, spin dry, fluf, remove hamster, look for hamster puke. Reject if hamster is still wet. 3. Make hamster watch Apollo 13. If hamster falls asleep, give to cat. If cat goes to sleep, wash cat & dry via #2. 4. If you spell hamster with a P, like hampster, you will need to find a new place for your dirty cloths. 5. We all know that test pilots (hamsters) are hard drinkers, go bar hopping with your hamster, give plenty to drink. Put him in your pocket, next day examine pocket for hamster puke. 6. Tie a string to the hamster's tail, swing over your head. If you can find the tail...Look for hamster puke on walls, etc.

Gad, it's friday, I'm at work, I want to go home. I needed this.

-Fadac

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 08:06 PM

Fadac, you are a very sick person. You should have a great time at Mudcat Cafe. :-)

That anyone could confuse a hamster with a guinea pig is pretty shocking, but a 2.5 lb hamster would be even more shocking than that!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: The Pooka
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 08:13 PM

gnu & mr h., thanks for lemming us know about that. Deda, "You killed my rat, you dirty brother!" LOL!! excellent!

LH, dunno what ya mean, Fadac seems perfectly normal to me. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 08:45 PM

Hamsters are hardly worth bothering with. They have very little meat on them.

Guinea pigs can however make a nice meal. I tend to 'curry' them, but flash frying then serving with pasta is quite nice too.

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 09:50 PM

Here in the USA we have dedicated an entire state to the little monsters; it's called New Hampster with the chilling motto "Live Free or Die!"

Some of our best singing friends live there, I hasten to add!;~)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 10:53 PM

By God, Charley, yes! I've driven through that state and seen the licence plates. What I can't understand is why there are so many people still alive there, given the clear intent of the statement...as compared to the actual circumstances of life in the consumer society...but I guess freedom is in the mind of the beholder, as it were. If you think you're free, are you free? An interesting zen question to ponder....

Hamsters themselves are strong proponents of freedom, as is evidenced by their constant roaming and endless assaults on the bars of their cages. Release a hamster in the house at 9 pm, and I guarantee that by morning he or she will have covered every square inch of floor in the entire place, and even have succeeded in climbing up on most of the furniture. They're very determined little rascals. What they are looking for, I'm not sure, but they never stop looking for it except when they are sleeping.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 05:01 AM

Therapy?

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 10:29 AM

LOL! Maybe that's it!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 10:30 AM

LOL=Therapy

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 01:55 AM

I'll second that. John

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 01:58 AM

Second what Gargy?

Sincerley
John

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 12:07 PM

If you guys want a really big hamster-like thing, get a capybara. They get to be something like a hundred pounds or so.

And just for the record, hamsters are geniuses compared to guinea pigs. Rats rule!

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 12:23 PM

Yes, guinea pigs are not terribly smart. At least, I don't think so. They are very good at eating, and they prefer things to remain placid if at all possible. They can also produce a daily volume of urine seemingly equal to 3 or 4 times the amount of water they drink! How they do this is beyond me.

The intelligence of hamsters is obvious. They are very curious creatures. They are also probably the most low maintenance pet in existence, all things considered.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:22 PM

Oh, I don't know, Little Hawk. Cockroaches are pretty low maintenance, and the big foreign breeds from the south are nice to cuddle with.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST,Julie B at home
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:49 PM

...Guinea pigs not smart?! We once had one, very shy, from a rehoming centre. He lacked confidence as he'd been badly treated. It was lovely to see him get his confidence back as time went on. He would learn and try new things. As he was shy, we gave him a little house made out of an upturned shoe-box to sit in when he was in our living room. One time we left an apple core about four feet away from his 'house'. Too timid to journey out, he eventually pushed his house all the way to the apple core, until the apple was in the house with him!

So, who says guinea pigs aren't clever? Just coz they are cuter than hamsters/rats/gerbils, it doesn't mean they don't have brains too! :-)

Julie B

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 10:34 PM

Yeah, I've seen the old "hide-in-the-house" routine with guinea pigs. I had one who used to do that "moving the whole box to the food" routine too. Guinea pigs will do anything necessary when it comes to food... :-)

To say that they are cuter than hamsters, however, is debatable.

As for cockroaches...yes, they are low maintenance. I saved a big one who was drowning in a shower once in Mexico. Most people think I was crazy to have done so, but I always try to obey that little voice inside...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Hamsters Save Lives!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 02:39 AM

Ate them once a week, last year in Peru.
Well, more than once, they were more than few.

There's not much meat and its all rather chewy,

Down there, they call it Cui.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Little Hawk It appears you've eaten them too.