BS: Bear trainer wanted

Subject: Bear trainer wanted
From: Leeder
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 02:44 PM

This is a genuine ad that my wife spotted in today's paper. I thought someone out there might fit the criteria.

"PROFESSIONAL BEAR TRAINER

"Required for Alberta zoo

"Must have a minimum 15 years of experience, use positive reinforcement training methods, experience with Kodiak and Black bears, be willing to relocate to Alberta, have public speaking skills, ability to design educational programs and be willing to train others.

"Fax resume [phone]."

I have this image of someone training new employees using a whip and chair...

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Morticia
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 04:14 PM

I have children....I suspect that makes me over-qualified.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 05:23 PM

Any band leadre could do that job. Bears are smarter and more cooperative than musicians. *G*

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Banjer
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 05:46 PM

OK, getting 'bare' is no problem, but what do you want me to train??

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 06:43 PM

Maybe Spaw should apply.............

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Jul 02 - 07:23 PM

Or maybe Mrs Spaw.

I've just started reading a book about a bear who plays jazz saxophone. I gather it's supposed to be a metaphor for playing acoustic music in a hi-fi and crap music dominated world.

Opening paragraph reads well and relevant:

It was a hot day and the Bear worked hard forb his money, dancing to Jones' harmonica, a disco cassette, a couple of Austrian marches and some belly dance music. He guzzled a bottle of beer and shambled around groaning and pawing at the air. He let Jones wrestle him to the ground and plant his foot on his deep barrel chest to let out a victory cry. Hr let himself be led round in a circle by a chain through the ring in his nose so that the shoppers could laugh at him and applaud. He rolled in the gutter twice without looking up. They made about forty dollars." ("The Bear Comes Home" by Rafi Zabor.)

I don't think bears need training, except by their parents. If this Alberta zoo has orphan bears who need training how to be bears, fair enough, but they'd do better to give the job to a bear. If they are training them to entertain visitors, someone needs to give them a little training. Preferably a large Grizzly.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Roger in Sheffield
Date: 14 Jul 02 - 05:09 PM

McGrath I think your post my be taken as a whole different metaphor if any search engines find it
Bear with Me

Subject: RE: BS: Bear trainer wanted
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Jul 02 - 06:55 PM

Roger: Woof!

And always remember: You don't have to outrun the bear -- you only have to outrun your friends. %^)