Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when you're 90

Subject: never get your nookie when your 90
From: Mikey joe
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 08:58 AM

I'm lloking for the words of this epic. I heard it yesterday at Auchtermuchty festival (Scotland) it has the great line "you're no much use to weemin if you're no producing semen"

bawdy brilliant

cheers
Mj

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 Aug 02 - 10:54 PM

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 12:57 PM

I just saw a quip by George Burns, the comedian who lived to be 100 - "Sex after 90 is like shooting pool with a rope!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: Jim McLean
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 03:57 PM

It's to the tune "Ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus" and it's not true!
Jim Mclean

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: vindelis
Date: 26 Aug 02 - 06:21 PM

Reminds me of the tale of the old man of 98 who divorced his wife aged 94 because she wouldn't give him his conjugal rites (Or should it be rights?).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: alanabit
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 07:49 AM

A ninety-eight year old man and his ninety-six year old wife go to court to get a divorce. "No point in carrying on," says the old boy, "Haven't been able to stand the sight of each other for years." "So why did you wait so long?" asks the judge. The old boy replies,"We wanted to wait until the children were dead!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 27 Aug 02 - 08:22 AM

Two old people meet in a retirement home and decide to get married. When they get into bed on their wedding night the old man turns over on his side and starts fiddling with something. "What are you doing, John ?", his wife asks him. "I'm putting on a condom", he answers. "We don't need to use one of them at our age", says his wife. "I know", he answers "But I do like the smell of scorching rubber !".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Aug 02 - 04:28 AM

From the title, am I right in assuming that the tune is the same as "Nobody loves a fairy when she's forty" ?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 9
From: Mikey joe
Date: 28 Aug 02 - 07:36 AM

Its not the same as Ya cannae shove yer granny but I'm not sure of "Nobody loves a fairy when she's forty". It has some cracking lines. No luck with lyrics yet. but I'm enjoying the banter

Mj

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From:
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 06:38 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: you never get your nookie when your 90
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Sep 02 - 06:18 AM

The tune I was mentioning was actually "Nobody wants a fairy when she's forty" and there's a thread on it here complete with the tune. Somehow the two titles seem to have the same rhythm and a simiiar sort of theme.