What is the worst song you ever heard?2

Subject: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:13 AM

can't do bloo clikys. this ia continuation of 'What is the worst song you ever heard?'

one of the worst songs i ever heard-a big hit in uk in 1970s- 'grandad we love you'.

another all-time non favourite:'nobody's child'

more?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Memphis Mud
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM

Sorry about that, I'm used to my Sailing Forum where you have to click the button to compose your message.

The worst I ever heard? Don't know the name, but some lyrics: "I love little baby ducks, walking barefoot in the mud, trucks...and IIIIIIII loooooooove yuuuuuuuu!"

(the only words I can swear to are the little baby ducks...the rest is not far from the jist of the tune)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:44 AM

Memphis Mud - That's a Tom T. Hall song and, yes, it does suck canal water, particularly considering that the guy wrote some excellent songs ("Old Dogs, Children & Watermelon Wine" "The Year That Clayton Delaney Died").

My nomination: A tie between "Achey, Breaky Heart" and "Bubba Shot the Jukebox".

Bruce

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM

i just rembered the name of who sang the grandad song. it was clive dunn 9(corporal jones in dad's army]

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bull Am
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:52 AM

Anything by Kylie Manogue (sp?) na na na na na na na na na na na Grrrrrrr.....

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:55 AM

"May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose" comes to mind.

Rhen there was one about some guy crying over a cake that took so long to make,,, Yeah, that one was a real stinker.

Then Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"... Phew...

Man, I could have gone all day without thinking of those dongs...

Danged you, Mr. Happy, I'm gonna be hearing these in my head all day...

Bobert

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:06 AM

dongs??

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: belfast
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:32 AM

"Grandad ..." A dreadful song certainly. And it seems so unlikely that one of the writers was Herbie Flowers who played the bass-line (double tracking on electric bass and double bass) for Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side". You can be associated with both the coolest and the geekiest.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:37 AM

I?

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:38 AM

Who sang Daddy don't you walk so far? I wish he'd walked further..............

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM

Wayne Newton sang "Daddy...."

Hi Bobert, I have to agree with you about "Honey". But of course to millions that song meant a huge amount. They cried, they laughed......they made Bobby Goldsboro rich. Guess we're just a tad too cynical to get it's poigniant beauty!

Considering that when I used to sing in bars I DID actually do Feelings, Tie a Yellow Ribbon, and Gawd Didn't Make Little Green Apples......it's a miracle I DIDN'T sing Honey!

Cheers

Rick

On the other hand......the absolute worst (by an artist who should have known better)

MY DING A LING!!!!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Pseudolus
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:52 AM

I think it was Daddy don't you walk so fast and it was Wayne Newton....I'm so ashamed that I knew that......damn!

Frank

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

Bobby Goldsboro had sappy down pat. Watching Scotty Grow was equally saccharine. But then, he did record Little Things, which Bob Dylan did a little bit of on piano in a documentary many years ago.

Jerry

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: pattyClink
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 02:29 PM

Getting back to the trad sphere: I think Romanoff wrote the execrable "Hats off to old folks" but it still is in a dead heat with "Rambling Rover" (the one which contains the word 'colitis'. Can anyone break the tie?

And I'll buy that TTH's "I love you too" is a horrible closing line but I don't think the song rises to horrible, because there are good evocative lines in it, and sheer poetry in that part about 'Sunday school in May, and onions."

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Nerd
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:16 PM

The song about the cake in Bobert's post was, of course, "MacArthur Park," sung by Richard Harris in its first hit version:

Someone Left the Cake out in the Rain... ...I don't think that I can TAKE it 'cause it took so long to BAKE it and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh, Nooooooooooo!

After Dave Barry's readers picked this as one of the worst ever, some irate fan wrote in and explained that the cake was a METAPHOR. To which DB replied that that was true but it's what we writers call a "really, really stupid metaphor!"

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:17 PM

Jerry, I think in the documentary Don't Look Back it was actually whatshisname, the Animals keyboard guy who sang Little Things, maybe Dylan on piano? I remember that guy doing a "human sloth" slow-motion imitation with it.

Worst song ever written is a number of "young girl get out of my mind, my love for you is waay out of line" songs by a variety of people. Sting did one. Another goes "if I could fly, I'd lift you up, and take you into the night" etc, which transcends the genre by also being a "I can fly" song.

One of Bob Seeger's songs about strippers gets honorable mention for the lines They love to watch her strut they do respect her ( ,?) but they love to watch her strut

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mudlark
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:41 PM

Have to agree with Honey. Back in the 60's the Smothers Bros. did a wonderful parody of the song on their TV show, sentimentally walking thru a schmatzy "set" with TV camera while singing the song. Along the same lines, Ruby, Don't Take Yer Love to Town, old whatsisname's raspy voice and all, is a close second. And in a sessions type group I always cringe when someone suggests Blowin' in the Wind.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 05:15 PM

Man, we've been down this road a few times...and the same stinkers come up again, and again, and again, and again...

Nothing lasts like a really BAAAAAD odor.

I nominate "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" (Rod Stewart) and "You And Me Against The World" (Helen Reddy) and "I've Never Been To Me" (Charlene? or?) and "Havin' My Baby" (Paul Anka) and "People" (Barbra Streisand).

- LH

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: greg stephens
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 06:13 PM

Well Ive said it before, and I'll say it again. The Streets of London, by miles.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:24 PM

Loving You (is easy 'cause you're beautiful), Minnie Ripperton.

Muskrat Love, the Captain & Tenille. Shannon (is gone again, she's drifting out to sea). Henry Gross

After the Lovin', Englebert Humperdink.

Tiny Bubbles, Don Ho.

Indiana Want Me (?). Rick I liked My Ding a Ling, but I was about 12 when it came out. Not only was it the frist Chuck Berry song that I heard, it was his only #1 Hit.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:26 PM

greg!!!----can't I show you something that'll make you change your mind? *grin*

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:30 PM

I cannot see why "Rambling Rover" should be mentioned in the same breath as some of the others on this thread.

Bloody good song, cleverly rhymed, and so what if it does mention "colitis"?

Murray

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:32 PM

I have a funny story about this. My father was an attorney in a very small town. One of the guys in town hired him to copyright a couple of songs the man had written. He took his songs to Nashville and paid to have some professionals record them for him. He then pressed singles (okay it was the late 50's or early 60's) and tried to sell them. However, they were the worst songs you have ever heard. The A side was "That Pill Pushin' Nurse." I (thankfully) forget the B side, but I suppose my mother still has it in the basement. These songs were bad. The lines didn't scan and nothing rhymed.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mickey191
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:56 PM

Title- "I just can't let you say goodbye." You can't leave so please don't try - Flesh around your throat-indented by my fingernails. It is the creepiest song I've ever heard. Covered by Willie Nelson. Don't know who wrote this gem.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Walking Eagle
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:39 PM

Okie from Muskogee by I forget!

Don't be Badderly by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. from Robin and the Seven Hoods.

For that matter, A LOT of musical movie songs!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,yum yum
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:48 PM

To be honest 'anything' that gets aired on radio today. The modern 'garage' or what ever it's called has nothing going for it. (and to think my mother used to put the Beatles and Rolling Stones down) How about 'Little Arrows', 'The Deck of Card', Who Let the Dogs Out', Jeezas you could fill your hard drive and still go out and buy another stick of memory. Can any of these new (manufactured) bands come up with an original song nowadays.

yum yum

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:54 PM

(Got to agree with GUEST,yum yum, here)

I can't recall who did it, but a record that showed up in the late Fifties or early Sixties had to be right up there on the stinker index. Thank you, dear God, for victory in Korea.

I was never able to determine if this was a serious song or some kind of parody.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Bert
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 10:12 PM

Gawd, you guys have never belonged to a songwriters' club;-)

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Midchuck
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:05 PM

Kinky Friedman would win easily, except he was doing it on purpose, so maybe that doesn't count...

There was a rumor, about a tumor
nestled at the base of his brain.
He was sittin' up there with his .36 magnum,
Laughing wildly as he bagged 'em.
Who are we to say the boy's insane?"

- "The Ballad of Charles Whitman"

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:18 PM

What a great thread! Now I remember why I had a miserable childhood.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: richlmo
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:39 PM

I have a song ( and I use the term song very loosely ) to add. My 12 year old is listening to it every time I walk by his room. By Eminem or whatever the white rapper's name is. Something about ," Sorry Momma". I can't stand it!!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: SlickerBill
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:49 PM

For me it's "Seasons in the Sun" by...agh! can't think of the guy right now. Canadian I'm sad to say. It's got a chorus like this: We had joy we had fun We had seasons in the sun But the hills that we climbed Were just (something somethingsomething)

With just the most unbelievably horrible treakle of a melody, HOLY SHIT it's a bad song!!!! And of course it went number 1 in Canada the year it came out, so what does that tell you.

Amen to the Kyley Minogue rot. "na na na" indeed. Now why didn't I think of thast line???? SB

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: leprechaun
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:04 AM

Apparently none of you folks are wasting any time listening to contemporary "music," and that's fortunate for you. But except for the Eminem song, none of the stinkers mentioned so far can even campare in stinkiness to most of the (C)rap, heavy metal and techno vomit our kids listen to every day.

Subject: Lyr Add: SEASONS IN THE SUN (Brel, McKuen)
From: JJ
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:11 AM

You are speaking of Rod McKuen's "Seasons in the Sun," his adaptation of a Jacques Brel song. (I think it was better in French.) As sung by the Canadian Terry Jacks, it sold 11.5 million copies.

And where did Terry Jacks get the song? From the Kingston Trio!

Adieu, Emile, my trusted friend,
We've known each other since we were nine or ten.
Together we climbed hills and trees,
Learned of love and A B Cs,
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Adieu, Emile, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky. Now
That the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are ev'rywhere.
Think of me and I'll be there.

CHORUS: We had joy. We had sun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills we would climb
Were just seasons out of time.

Adieu, Papa, please pray for me.
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
Wonder how we got along.
Adieu, Papa, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky.
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children ev'rywhere.
When you see them, I'll be there.

Chorus

Adieu, Francoise, my trusted wife,
Without you, I'd have had a lonely life.
You cheated lots of times but then,
I forgave you in the end
Though your lover was my friend.
Adieu, Francoise, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky.
Now that spring is in the air
With your lovers ev'rywhere;
Just be careful, I'll be there.

All our lives we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills we would climb
Were just season out of time.

Adieu, Emile. Adieu, Papa. Adieu, Francoise.

All our lives, we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time.
All our lives, we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun,
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Benjamin
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:52 AM

I would have to agree with just about anything on pop radio (or MTV) these days. Then there is Yum Yum Yum! Ace of Bass had some HORIBLE stuff! Who let the dogs out? had to be worst attempt at putting hype behind sports teams.

Rick, I'm not so sure I can agree about My Ding-A-Ling! It use to go over very well for me.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:00 AM

and then there's the eurovision 'song' contest!

boom bang a bang.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:06 AM

"Okie from Muskogee" is a great song, Walking Eagle, by the great Merle Haggard, who would be incapable of writing a bad song if he tried.

The whole point of the song is that it is tongue-in cheek ....

Murray

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 04:57 AM

'As soon as I hang up the Phone' by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty was particulary crass. It started with a phone ring and Loreeta answers singing 'Darling I Kneeew It was Yeeew , Oh Pleeese Tell Mee What to Dooo, You' gave the will the go on etc etc etc. Conway answers the questions talking on the other end of the phone. When he dumps her at the end full of really schmalty Loretta singing 'Oh No's' then the line goes dead. On the Kinky Friedman front he did a version of 'Okie' which went' I'm just an asshole from El Paso'

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 05:46 AM

Here's a link to Jacques Brel's Le Moribond, which is the song that was butchered to make Seasons in the Sun. All about this dying man saying goodbye to his loved ones.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Deni
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 06:25 AM

Can you hear the guns Fernando? I remember long ago another starry night like this, in the firelight Fernando you were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar

etc....

Truly dodgy, but I admit I did like the voice of the singer and loved the accent....and it was great for take-offs at parties, long before Karaoke ever came to the UK.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon Billy Don't be a Hero

and most of the songs mentioned above... But I bet all these songwriters made a fortune. Lots of poeple must have bought the records.

d

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Music Critic
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 07:36 AM

There were two horendous singers from Doncaster & Hull called Lynn & Roz they did an terrible song they had written about Whitby Folk Week and insisted on playing it every available time. only matched by two of their other magnus opuses the worst song about Scotland ever written and a terrible song about Doolin in Ireland

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Another Music Critic
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 07:59 AM

Yeah I've heard them !! 'Let's sing a song an Irish Song diddley diddle dum dum dee' Twee or what !!

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: JudeL
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 08:22 AM

Two from fairly recent popular culture, a truely toe curling one that was around about 2 years ago something about "picking up the phone" which had an intensly irritating background of a ring-tone as part of what I hesitatingly call the "music " element of the soundtrack, also there was another one around at about the same time that appeared to include a scream of rage from a "female" (although it sounded far more animal in origin) who is complaining in the song about being badly treated by her (now) ex-lover.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM

all time classic, 'long haired lover from liverpool':little jimmy osmond. a truly crap song by the only one who couldn't sing.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: songs2play
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:42 AM

Cinderella Rockerfella (Ester and Abi Offarim), can there be any doubt that this single is the most obnoxious song ever released.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Art Thieme
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

"Waltzing With Bears"-----------UNLESS it was done by Jim Ringer and Mary McCaslin as if the singer was a dirty old man reprobate not very far removed from clergy child molesters. Their doing of it in 100 degree heat at Rockford Illinois some years ago was the best I'd ever heard it done.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,boromir
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM

Sorry about this folks but the all time winner is

It's a Small World

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:44 AM

Lord Gawd...I'd FORGOTTEN "Waltzing with Bears" Art! (even done by you!!)

Hey Steve Latimer, of COURSE you loved "Your Ding a Ling" when you were twelve!

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 11:51 AM

Hey Baby I'm Your Telephone Man

Brand New Key

I'm going to disagree on contemporary music. I felt the same way until I heard David Gray, Sheryl Crow, and Train. If you take some time to shovel away the shit, you'll find a pony in there somewhere.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM

A whole spate of "doo-wop" songs in the Fifties, in which the singer breaks out of the song to narrate a real tear-jerker, explaining what the song is all about. A particularly egregious one that spent a lot of time on the charts was Teen Angel. I friend of mine was moved to write a parody entitled Teen Leper. Part of the narration says, "My mom and dad didn't want me to go with her because she had leprosy. So I said, 'well, gee whiz, mom and dad! All teenagers have complexion problems. . . .'"

Don Firth