BS: Guitar Help Hotline

Subject: Guitar Help Hotline
From: John Hardly
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 07:51 PM

Hello! And welcome to the new Guitar Information Hotline! For your convenience we have installed the following menu to aid you in connecting with the right help for answering those tough to answer guitar questions.

If you have questions regarding major chords, please press 1, 3, 5

If your question is about minor chords please press 1, 2 followed by the "pound sign", then 5 (what? You were expecting maybe a "b" key?)

For questions about the "Nashville Numbering System" please press "0" and ask the operator, and we'll be happy to send you our Roman numeral keypad set. The cost is $IV.XCIX plus shipping

To direct your questions to our flatpicking experts please press 1,2,3,4,5,6, but do so as fast as you possibly can, keeping your wrist loose and your finger relaxed as you depress the numbers on the keypad. For crosspicking questions the number is 13243546 but should be "dialed" with the same speed as the number for simple flatpicking – as Steve Kaufman would say, "Keep up now!"

For questions about classical playing please press "2" with your thumb, then follow that with keys numbered 4,5,6 – making absolutely sure that you use only the proper fingers assigned to each numbered button as follows; index finger on the 4, middle finger on the 5, and ring finger on the 6. Make sure each finger follows through each number and comes to rest on the button below the depressed button (for instance, your index finger should depress the 4, and come to rest against the #7 button).

If you wish to inquire about Travis picking press 1,3 with your thumb. Continue pressing the 1 and 3 in this manner while pressing numbers 4, 5,and 6 in a nearly random order.

For questions about electric guitar please press 110.

For questions about playing acoustically – tap the side of the tin can, and remember -- make sure that string is taut!

Subject: RE: BS: Guitar Help Hotline
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 07:54 PM

What???

Subject: RE: BS: Guitar Help Hotline
From: Mark Clark
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 08:05 PM

I love it, John. Very clever.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Guitar Help Hotline
From: C-flat
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 08:15 PM

1 3
1 3
1 5 3 4
1 5 3 6
1 5 3 4

Nope!......no-one's there,.........Must be just during office hours!

Subject: RE: BS: Guitar Help Hotline
From: Justa Picker
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 08:30 PM

Great John!