BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt

Subject: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 12:52 PM

As a musical guy the decision is tough – Cross or Delaware? The battle of the two Alex's. I mean, Cross is so good he melts women's hearts and plays in jazz clubs but Delaware's main girl is a luthier for heaven sakes – and he plays Leo Kottke on his stereo to relax.

I think Scarpetta kicks Quincy's ass but heck, Quincy was pre-DNA evidence. I mean, he was closer in technology to Hec Ramsey than to today's high tech. But Scarpetta's becoming quite the psych case these days (maybe she oughta get in touch with Kinsey Millhone – hire her as an investigator to replace the parting niece) and I'm inclined to think that Grissom, with his visual and sound effects that nearly make me barf weekly is a more compelling M.E. Though for my money, the enigmatic, hoops playing rebel Jack Templeton is the real champ. For ground-breaking deductive reasoning though, they all take a backseat to Brother William of Baskerville.

I'm thinkin', "man, I get an image of my insurance man whenever Sean Dillon is described" (5'5'', silver hair, etc). He's certainly the winner in the "ruthless" category though. And I love how he's on the "dark" side one minute – and over with the good guys the next. A bit more complex for a cartoonish guy.

He beats the hell out of Bond. I mean, if I want that kind of perfection, and gadget driven heroics, give me Dirk Pitt. At least Pitt has a soul – and a darn good (probably the best) sidekick in Giordino. I like his hanger-pad too.

Patrick McClanahan has certainly become better. He really has the international scene pegged.........but bulletproof underwear?! And rocket boots?! What next? An invisibility cloak?!

Oh. Did I mention my addiction to books on tape?

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 01:03 PM

Not a patch on Dirk Gently....

But that Scarpetta, she REALLY needs to get her life sorted.

I suspect Farinelli is going to be appearing soon....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 01:22 PM

Go Stryker!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: michaelr
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 06:44 PM

What the hell are you on about?

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: DonMeixner
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 07:04 PM

S. F. X. Van Dusen anyone?

Don

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 08:42 PM

Hey Don, Thanks for the tip!

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 08:43 PM

Characters in favorite authors' books, and Stryker is an autospy saw. Do a Google search and you can learn the rest.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 10:38 PM

yeah, what ~S~ said.

Lots of authors have created a hero that they use from book to book, much as a TV series writer would do (as opposed to, say, a movie -- a one-time thing with no serial characters).

Kay Scarpetta -- Patricia Cornwell's M.E. heroine
Jack Templeton -- Robin Cook's M.E. hero
Dirk Pitt -- Clive Cussler
etc.

I guess I could have simply asked "what best-sellers are you guys reading and whose protagonists do you like/relate to?"........but I figured that, like most threads, that would end up in a not-so-fun listing. See, I thought that maybe this would be a way of allowing folks to get a little creative with their offerings.

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 22 Sep 02 - 10:41 PM

Go- WYSIWYG -

................far.................................................................................................................. far............................................................................................................................................. away from here!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Frivolous Sal
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 02:10 AM

Marlene Ciampi is the champ! She is even the champ of losing it. I am not sure Kay could keep up with her. If I need help Tran is the man. Right now, I am comparing the Scarlet Pimpernel and Lord Peter. Did the Baroness covet Pimpernel also? PBS is working to destroy Lynley & Havers but Isle of Dogs may have destroyed Cornwell. The Washington State SHIT squad will never get the best of Beaumont, though. Jim Chee is quiet efficiency.

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 08:35 AM

oh yeah, Beaumont. I forgot about him....and that Mitford priest guy.

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 08:40 AM

Stephanie Plum and Amelia Peabody. They're actually likeable characters (not like ould grumpy-drawers Scarpetta - that woman annoys my happiness!).

Subject: Add: DAYTIME MYSTERY (Michael Sands)
From:
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 09:01 AM

Reminds me of a poem I read once,

DAYTIME MYSTERY
(© Michael Sands)

Between ten to two and half past ten,
The most dangerous place to be
Is lying on your couch my friend,
Watching that cursed TV
You may not at first fell under threat
But it has slowly dawned on me
That we really have good cause to fret
I'll explain just wait and see

The carnage starts around two o'clock,
The first victim meets their doom
But calmness as the pulses rock
Quincy enters the room
He must be near a hundred now
But as wise as any owl
And suspects soon begin to bow
He solves the murder foul

But today a most intriguing case
Has Quincy on the ropes
The bloodhound indeed is off the pace
How can he revive his hopes?
Who can help, who can he ring?
Another victim on the stretcher
A light bulb in his mind goes ting!
"I'll ring oul Jessica Fletcher!"

Not if there she was the last on earth
Would I let her near the door
Her foot wouldn't be across the hearth
Before I'd need a hearse and more
But she happily receives Quincy's call
Asking, "What about Colombo?"
"Ach! He's on the drink...drugs and all,
Talkin' mumbo jumbo!"

"And Kojak has stopped the lollipops,
The wig looks like a ferret
He's cross-dressing now in women's shops,
Anything purple he'll wear it!"
"They've lost it since the shows were stopped,
Have we any bridges to cross?"
"Well there is that grisly English cop,
Jack Horner no, I mean Jack Frost."

Quincy was loath to admit defeat
But the yanks had let him down
He'd never get this case complete
Until he used the crown
Ironside's wheels were not well manned,
Hutch had turned to speed
Hill Street Blues had formed a band
And Starsky was smoking weed

The English brigade were then flown in,
Along with Hercule Poirot
He had conquered exotic sin,
On the Nile just outside Cairo
Jessica greeted each in the pack,
With her clammy hands of fate
And a luggage truck flattened Bergerac,
Beside the arrivals gate

Fitz touched down on his back,
Full to the gills on stout
And Morse was swigging French cognac,
Lewis trying to push him out
Quincy shuddered at such a sight,
"Our hoods have little to fear.
The boys got wasted on the flight,
And Fitz is on the tear."

"Diagnosis Murder," was the rap,
Next morning they did hear
And yes they all felt like crap,
Fitz's gambling cost them dear
A sure thing sucked old Poirot in
Even Frost had waged a score
Down a grand, it didn't win
Poirot vowed, "No more."

The clock moves on to half past three
Jessica springs to life
"Fun is over listen to me
We've got to save a life."
Quincy nods and takes the reins
"You're the best we've got
The chase is running in your veins
In no time he'll be caught."

Fitz, Poirot, Morse and Frost
Could even Moriarty escape?
Quincy smiles and says, "Get lost,"
"It's time to earn your keep."
The facts of the case were studied
Fitz profiled the scene
Morse coded the waters muddied
Lewis kept the Daimler clean

Frost growled and ate hot curry
It helped him clear his mind
They agreed they'd need to hurry
This culprit now to find
A slippery devil by accounts
Caused Poirot to remark
"Mes amis, it's time to pounce,
We'll trap him in ze park."

The bait was set around midnight
Mrs Fletcher was the lure
Red lipstick and fishnet tights
Bound to work for sure
Her black high heels matched her top
A femme fatale she was
Nothing like the part time cop
In those shows she does

Fitz was straining at the bit
He'd never seen such style
Morse was revving up his wit
To kiss that luscious smile
Business called as Frost did snort
"There's a killer on the loose,"
Poirot sprayed Chanel Four
"Tomorrow night, ma howze..."

Quincy strolled onto the scene
Unknowingly observed
"Time to depose this crime queen
A fate that's well deserved."
Five pairs of eyes blinked as one
Surely Quincy can't be him
But a glinting scalpel all did stun
Jessica's future was looking grim

The surgical mask came over his nose
He approached her from behind
Jessica heard his rustling clothes
"Quincy, you lost your mind?"
"I've never seen you write a line
You're an author going cheap
And you've put my ratings in decline
The viewers have minds like sheep!"

The cops were waiting behind the bush
As Quincy explained his lot
His confession brought about a hush
Typical cop drama plot
"It was me, I was the cause
I scuttled every show
Started Colombo on the sauce
Old glass eye had to go."

"I peddled dope to Starsky and Hutch
Wrecked Ironside's wheelchair
Cagney and Lacey were just too much
I dissolved that meddlesome pair
I gave Kojak his first high heel
Encouraged his purple craze
I taught Miami Vice how to steal
Now only you to darken my days."

Mrs Fletcher was a mite perturbed
Quincy had proved so true
But she hoped his plot would be disturbed
By those other boys in blue
The scalpel glinted in the moonlight
Quincy held it high
"Doctor, no crimes tonight,"
Judgement time is nigh."

Quincy spun to see the group
Fitz was first in line
Morse and Lewis joined the coup
Frost and Poirot said, "He's mine."
Fitz wrestled Quincy to the ground
The blade fell from his hand
Morse freed Jessica without a sound
A fine end to Poirot's plan

After a couple of days or so
With Quincy in the cell
The gang decided to him to go
And hear what he would tell
"After cleaning up the US shows
Why did you invite
Investigative skills that we all know
Would have you here tonight?"

"My friends you proved you are the best
Your plan worked so well
I'm afraid I proved a simple test
But there's more I have to tell.
My future now would seem secure
I won't be leaving here
But you'll be back of that I'm sure
For advice I have no peer."

"You mean to say this was designed
A means whereby you're nicked."
Each of the coppers was resigned
To the fact that they'd been tricked
"Each of you rule the screen
Your ratings are just superb
But when you need a bent MD
Your viewers I'll disturb."

So Quincy's plan worked a treat
In all their shows he's used
Fitz and Co have cleaned the street
Aided by his clues
I give a yawn and leave the couch
Turn off the box in sorrow
But heaven for a trainee slouch
I can watch again tomorrow

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 10:22 AM

What a great bit o' verse! Thanks for sharing!

not zackly a "series novel" like the above.....but if you promise not to tell any of my hoops-playing, beer-drinking, poker-night buddies....

....*whispering* I've really enjoyed Barbara Kingsolver's "The Bean Tree" and the follow-up book, "Pigs in Heaven"......furthermore, I like Maeve Binchy's "Copper Beech".

yikes. chick books.

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 10:42 AM

What's REALLY fun is reading a chapter at a time out loud, spouses taking turns, with Nero Wolfe. It gives Nero and Archie MPD, but Cramer is always Cramer no matter who is reading.

Currently we are stuck in the ice with Shackleton, and just learned that the crew were all actually Mudcatters.

The Annexe also has good reading threads and room for more....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:25 PM

Travis McGee, where are you when we need you? Gone, but not forgotten.

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 15 Oct 02 - 04:29 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Oct 02 - 07:29 AM

Temperance Brennan? I like Kathy Reichs' books, only discovered them earlier this year when I changed jobs (I'm a high school library assistant, paradise for a book lover); I hope we buy her latest, I haven't read it yet. And Barbara Havers - I think I have read most of Elizabeth George's Inspector Lynley stories too.

Cheers

JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Micca
Date: 15 Oct 02 - 11:37 AM

jennie, I am with You, i like Temp Brennan too, have read 3 so far and the 4th is on my Xmas list!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Scarpetta kicks Quincy's Butt
From: Amos
Date: 15 Oct 02 - 01:50 PM

Dirk Pitt and Al Giordano between them are the best hero since John Carter found his way to Mars!

With the possible exception of Lazarus Long.

A