BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs

Subject: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,traveller
Date: 26 Sep 02 - 06:51 PM

One of my all time favourite mis-advert was one i saw i the Barras market in Glasgow -it read; "OVULATING FANS FOR SALE"! I'm sure they meant oscillating. Another teaser i once saw was; "EGG OMELETTES" What else can you make an omelette from? Anyone seen any other howlers? T,

Subject: RE: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Sorcha
Date: 26 Sep 02 - 07:19 PM

I think it's BillD that has a whole collection of these things.......some are gut splitting!

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Midchuck
Date: 26 Sep 02 - 08:03 PM

For this to be funny you have to know both British and American English.

I have a picture of one of my daughter's friends, in England, pointing at a billboard with an expression of horror. It has a picture of a moving van and advertises "Beaver Removals."

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: weerover
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:26 AM

If the advert is accurate, and "Nothing acts faster than Anadin", why not just stick to nothing?

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Airto
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 04:31 AM

DO NOT USE LIFT IN CASE OF FIRE

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 05:14 AM

Does anyone remember the dreadfull TV advert for Lees Macaroon Bars ( a Scottish Sweetie) which wouldn't be allowed now the naff song went 'Lees Lees more if you please, always down on your bended knees, for picaninies and grand papa's, It's Lees for lucious Macaroon bars'

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,traveller
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 06:10 AM

There is a haulage company in Leicester which rejoices in the name of T.Watts.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 06:20 AM

Stuart Hall of It's A Knockout and Radio 5 footie fame was going to open a travel agents called Stuart Hall International Travel until someone pointed out what the initials would spell

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: mooman
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 06:26 AM

There's a roadside cafe just outside 9Hull where a radiator sports a very large red and white sign:

"WARNING. This radiator may become hot."

Best regards,

mooman

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 06:39 AM

There are some new information warning signs at the junction of the M1 / M18 which have a yellow sign attached to them saying 'This Sign is Not Yet In Use'

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,BDog
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 06:44 AM

At the side of a field in Dorset, there is a sign which says 'Low Flying Aircraft Keep to the Footpath'. We have never seen one there, but always make a point of walking across the middle of the field to avoid them.

Brian

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Nevada
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 11:14 AM

Hi everyone! For some of the best roadsigns ever, go to www.tanglefootmusic.com click on "pho-tos", then click on "on the road". Happy laughing! Luv AAA x

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 11:30 AM

Those are cute, here is a clickie to Pho-toes

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 03:05 PM

yep....I save a few now & then...

no spelcheker

surprise your sweetie

we'll take fired Wallgreens signposters

and put them to work for us, making clear signs

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 03:20 PM

more later

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: HuwG
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 04:11 PM

Here is a blue clicky to a thread on Amusing Road Signs in the Permathread index.

Guest, MC Fat, I remember once (as a schoolboy) playing truant to watch part of the RAC Rally (in Britain). The Fiat Abarth Racing Team caused some spirits to lighten with their team logo.

The following sign allegedly appeared on the end of a jetty in Bremen. I can't absolutely guarantee the correctness of the German, but it has to be worth a mention:

"Zehn Mark Belohnung ist, den jänigen die, die jänige die, die Gegenstande in den Hafen werfen verbietende Tafel, in den Hafen verworfen haben, in Verhaft zu bringen, helfen können, beschenkt".

Approximate translation: "Ten marks reward has been offered to anyone who can help apprehend those persons who have thrown the notice which forbids the throwing of objects into the harbour, into the harbour"

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Ron Olesko
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 05:19 PM

I went to McDonalds and ordered a small coke and I was informed that they do not have a "small" size - only medium, large and extra large.

Maybe I was absent the day we over size in kindergarden but I always thought that medium was between small and large.

Of course as a male, perhaps this new sizing is a good thing.

Ron

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:35 PM

McDonalds,aaaahhhhh!

while we're on tha subject, i recall reading a McD's internal memo which reminded all employees that, 'people are our most important ingredient!'

rather worrying isn't it! 8-]

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: clansfolk
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:15 PM

Always wondered about "NO SMOKING ALLOWED" signs I presume that means I'm allowed not to smoke if I want to, and also I am allowed to smoke if I want to so what's the point???

Our local locksmith has a sign that say "Keys cut to fit" - that's handy!!!!

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Pete
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 06:11 PM

Where I live in the UK there is an alarm company called Christie Intruder Alarms.I often wonder what US visitors think when they see large red vans with CIA written on the sides in two foot letters

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: The Walrus
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 07:01 PM

I still think it takes a lot to beat
"Ears Pierced While You Wait"

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 02:52 AM

On unfenced roads in Scottish Highlands---"Beware of Sheep"--[------sabre-toothed?]

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 02:58 AM

How about the water-ski club here on Vancouver Island. ?Sweatshirt logo--"The SproatLake Fog-duckers".

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Hagbardr
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 01:12 PM

There's a trucking company that does a lot of work where I live.... A. Duie Pyle.

In Reading, the local PennDOT (Pennsylvania Department of Transportation) office has orange barrels and fence around the front entrance and a sign... "This Ramp Closed"

--Hagbardr

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Dead Horse
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 03:28 PM

Every time I pass a sign that says *This door is alarmed* I want to write *This door is absolutely petrified* on the next.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: MudGuard
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 03:46 PM

HuwG,
if I retranslate your translation of that sign, I end up with:

Zehn Mark Belohnung für denjenigen, der bei der Festnahme derjenigen hilft, die das Schild, daß verbietet, Gegenstände in den Hafen zu werfen, in den Hafen geworfen haben.

MudGuard (from Germany, hoping my English is not too bad...)

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 05:01 PM

We have been collecting pictures of these signs for some years now. It started with a sign we saw in Ireland which said, "Delays possible until September" and we were due to fly back to the U.S. in July.

One of our all time favorites is: "Do not use this crosswalk when a crossing guard is on duty". We later discovered that the sign meant to use the crosswalk down the block when a guard is on duty there.

In Boring, Oregon, there is the "Boring Upper Grade School" and in Enigma, Georgia there is the "Enigma United Methodist Church".

We also collect odd street name signs including Dead Cat Alley, Main Drain Road, Free Love Road, Brown Material Road and Rong Way.

Bev and Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Nerd
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 08:50 PM

I always thought signs that said "no trespassing" were kind of funny. Since trespassing is by definition illegal, the sign is like "no stealing" or "no murder."

I also love the printing on software CD ROMs: "do not make illegal copies of this disk." Is this necessary? Doesn't everybody know that a software company doesn't want them to make illegal copies? What do they expect in response? "Well, I was all set to break the law and defy the authorities, but since a software company said not to..."

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 05:52 AM

Seen in a local hospital:

"Warning!
Keepclear
ENTONOX
O2/N2O 50%/50%
Non Flammable Gas
No Smoking or naked lights."

Why?

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:18 AM

Nigel Parsons! A mixture of Oxygen & Nitrous Oxide will not itself burn, but will allow any combustable item to burn far hotter & quicker than normal! A cigarette in normal air burns slowly, but in a mix like this would probably flare into open flame & burn the smoker's face!

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:18 AM

Nigel Parsons! A mixture of Oxygen & Nitrous Oxide will not itself burn, but will allow any combustable item to burn far hotter & quicker than normal! A cigarette in normal air burns slowly, but in a mix like this would probably flare into open flame & burn the smoker's face!

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Hamish
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:52 AM

I like:

On a hand drier "Drier stops when hands removed" Ouch!

In toilets/kitchen "Please leave this facility as you would like to find it". Well, I've always hated those tiles...

And, of course, there's always "Stationary cupboard".

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 05:28 PM

I would really like a membership card for the Leeds suburb institution,The Idle Working Mens Club.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:01 PM

.........and also The Ugley Womens Institute!

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,ThomasAJohnson
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:39 PM

One I remember from England - I think it was in Worcestershire, 'Fresh Killed Rabbits Eggs'

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Roughyed
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 06:04 PM

I saw a whole shop window display full of training shoes in Krakow, Poland proudly labelled Athletes Foot. That was the same year we saw Fart videos and Dim clothes.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Chip2447
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 11:37 PM

A local sign that made Letterman a few years back. "Liquor, guns and ammo". Some numbskull tried to rob the place with a knife...

Seen on several roadside diners.."Eat here and get gas".

A local Car dealer's name is Richard Head...he gets a little upset if you call him Dick.

Chip2447

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Micca
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 04:35 AM

There is one(I think I may have mentioned before) that said
"Superior Vin Ordinaire"

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: kendall
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 10:18 AM

There are many country stores here with signs that read For Sale,Dicks Worms and Crawlers. I asked one store employee how much for a dick and he just looked confused.
Seen on a can of nuts: Warning, may contain peanuts.

Another said; Dog Supplies, flashlights, tents and hiking gear.

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 10:26 AM

Walrus, Tattoo Charlie's in Louisville, KY has a billboard that says Tattoos While You Wait.

Has anyone seen the Taco Bell sign that says Now Hiring All Shits?

Mister and I passed a mini-mart advertising Foutant Drinks. Must be some new French sodypop or something...

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: Fingerbuster
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 10:47 AM

On a pre-packed sausage roll; 1, remove wrapper. 2 Eat!

Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous advertisements/signs
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 04:25 PM

LA NAILS. That was funnier before we saw NY NAILS, and figured out what they meant. I wonder what will happen if I hit this English to French button, LE?

We once got as a gift a sleeping bag that came with instructions.