BS: You know urine trouble when..........

Subject: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 07:25 AM

........... you suspect someone close to you has been quaffing wee in another bid for immortality. I air this rather unsavoury news here, as the imbiber is a 'Cat, and may be solicitting extra supplies within this forum

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Morticia
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 07:31 AM

I suspect you are simply taking the p*ss,Skip.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:26 AM

Perhaps he/she is into traditional dyeing and wishes to aquire said fluid to fix the colours.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:34 AM

I think urine a bigger mess if you ingest any of the delicacies from the Uranus Corporation, where everything is another fine product from Uranus.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:35 AM

They already use the urine from their Friesian heifers for that.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Bassic
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:35 AM

Skip! Dont do it! I know where this is comming from. If you should get shipwrecked whilst sailing the Royal Yaught from the Humber down to essex just turn right and you will find the shore. Then make your way to the nearest pub and have a beer. On second thoughts..... southern beer/urine.....its a tough call.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Declan
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:44 AM

.. you get a smell of Amonia.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:48 AM

Bassic - we were making beer (ie with hops) down south, when you only had ale (ie un-hopped) up north.

At one time most of the hops that went into your beer, were grown in KENT.

Down South we have cream on our Strawberries - not our beer.
We also don't go in for Widgets (or Whippets).
Anyway if the North's so great, how come the Queen lives in the South ?

I would concede that Burton-on-Trent has (or had) the best brewing water in the country though.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Bassic
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:52 AM

Fancy continuing this in the Chatroom? See ya there.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 08:53 AM

I will halt this undesirable thread drift by declaring a dangerously fond liking or all real beer. Back to the golden shower, please.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 09:06 AM

My sister swears by the amber nectar - drinks a t-cupful of fresh piddle every morning. Claims it cured a bad knee about 10 years ago.
I suspect said knee would have got better anyway....

Kris

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Schantieman
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 09:13 AM

I had the misfortune to stumble across Graham Norton's prog. last night. Someone was admitting to daring her boyfriend to p*ss in her mouth - which he did. Some friend!

S

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 09:29 AM

I have enjoyed many good northern pints of bitter, but we do have some superb beers down south as well - and I don't end up with exessive froth all "up dy dose" - but let's call a truce (at least as far as UK beer goes).

If "Amber Nectar" refers to urine, then at least it's the most sterile of body fluids and one's own can contain only bugs which are already in your body. If it refers to a certain liquid made by Fosters, then the thought absolutely disgusts me.

In order that the ladies can compete on a level standing (so to speak) here is a link which I recently put on the Standing/Sitting thread. I used to go out with a girl who had gone to school in Etheopia, and she always preferred to stand up because if you sqat out in the African Bush there are all sorts of nasties that can leap up into tender places !

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 09:35 AM

Sorry missed the link HERE.

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 10:09 AM

then there's that famous scandinavian that the tv commentators refer to as 'sven urine erickson'!

Subject: RE: BS You know urine trouble when..........
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Nov 02 - 11:06 AM

Skip, just because I outed you as the quintissential railway enthusiast and trainspotter. Anyway, I am just popping out for a drink.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 09:29 AM

Seriously, if a person's breath smells like urine, it could be a sign of kidney failure.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: fat B****rd
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 11:43 AM

I understand the term "Pissed" originates with the custom of urinating in beer. I will, naturally bow to the superior knowledge of any experts on this matter.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 01:53 PM

And never forget that you dont buy the beer,you only rent it.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: boab d
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 02:21 PM

youre 14 years old and still wetting the bad and scared to tell your folks so you end up sleeping in soaked sheets

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: HuwG
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 02:41 PM

Dave Bryant remember the old graffiti in some toilets ?

It's no use standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
And if you think that's rather high
Try next door - the b*gg*rs fly !

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 03:11 PM

Not only renal problems, but a strong possibility of diabetes.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Gareth
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 03:14 PM

Actually - One of the nastiest bit of graffitti I ever saw was in the "East India Arms" in Febchurch St., in the City of London - A Youngs house, very much real beer.

There it was over the urinals in the gents ! In best broad felt tip lettering -

We pipe this straight to Watney's

            (But they have to dilute it first !)

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 03:19 PM

Oakley I've only ever seen you drinking the black stuff - if that's your wee then you are in real trouble and should go to hospital right now!

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 05:13 PM

Dave Bryant
So Herefordshire never grew hops eh? Never sold them to BoT? Granted they had better concoctions to mill and they are far better at looking like the yellow peril (back on thread) but for all the cider and apples there are a lot of vines twixt Malvern and Hereford and they dont taste like grapes.

Here's mud in urine.....

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 05:19 PM

If it smells of pear drops then call the ambulance!!

Check first for empty pear drop packets.....

I've had to give them up..... they start asthma attacks.

That's pear drops, not dewy drops..... er.. perhaps I'll just get me coat.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 02 - 08:05 PM

Dave BRYANT

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 04:36 AM

Yes - that's my name - I'm not afraid to post under it either !

So what do you want ?

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 04:39 AM

"You know urine trouble when..." some one gets you an incontinental quilt!

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 05:26 AM

My mattress hold 8.5 litres before it starts to drip into the drifts of fluff and thence down the cable that powers the chandelier in the drawing room below. There is an Estonian Pozi Driv screwdriver bit (bought in Luton) jammed in the appropriate part of the fusebox.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 06:19 AM

I once drenched a brand new mattress at my inlaws after a particularly large evening on the bear....I managed (just) to dry it out when they went out the following day with the aid of a hair dryer. I then swapped it with the mattress on my brother in laws bed as an additional precaution...! To this day I don't believe they have discovered it.

Subject: RE: BS: You know urine trouble when..........
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 10:59 AM

I once got chatted up by a rather large lady at a folk festival. Somebody told me that her nickname was "Old Guiness Knickers". I noticed that she did consume an incredible amount of the black Liffey juice, but it was in the early hours of the morning, back at my tent in a double sleeping bag, that a warm damp feeling made me fully aware of the acuracy of this description. I don't think that Oakley's matress would have had the capacity for that deluge.