Humorous Songs

Subject: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 01:14 PM

I've been asked to play a few songs (just me and my guitar) at a "gentlemans evening" and I'm looking for some funny songs or parodies of well known songs to make it a fun night.
Any suggestions are welcome but I'm avoiding anything too bawdy.
I've got a couple of weeks yet but I need to start thinking about what I'm going to play.
Thanks in advance,
C-flat.

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 01:19 PM

C-flat, go to the white search box, top right of this page, and type in @humorous. Turns up a lot!

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 01:20 PM

Try Songworm too.

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 01:47 PM

Thanks Sorcha, I didn't think to look right under my nose. DOH!

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 01:53 PM

There are quite a few in the Mudcat Songbook also, and in various SongChqllenges sung to well known tunes. For example, there's "The Gentleman's Club", which although a tiny bit bawdish is really reasonably appropriate for "A Gentleman's Meeting". The tune is "Dark as a Dungeon Way Down in the Mines". "Feminism 101" which is not bawdy but is politically incorrect might be entertaining also, to the tune of "Times They Are A-Changin'".


A

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 02:55 PM

How about "Have some Madiera M'Dear" or any other Flanders & Swann compositions.

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 04:18 PM

Thanks for those suggestions. I'm going to do a search on Flanders and Swann, I'm sure there'll be something there.
Amos, I can't find "Feminism 101" in the Songbook or the DT. Where should I be looking?

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 09:25 PM

I highly recommend Do Virgins Taste Better? which is in the DT.

Although this is intended to be sung to the Irish Washerwoman, I sing it to Sweet Betsy From Pike. It's a hoot, either way!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 09:49 PM

CF, the words to "Feminism 101", my first experiment with political incorrectitude on the Cat, can be found in this old thread and I'm sorry to say it was never entered in the Songbook. But I weill get that taken care of I hope.

The tune, as I said, is "The Times they Are A-Changin'", and the words are:

Feminism One-Oh-One      (09 Feb 00 )

(Tune: The Times They Are A-Changing)
 

Come you ladies around me, wherever you roam,
For your servitude now has too burdensome grown
Stand up, oh stand up, make your own life your own!
If your future to you is worth saving!
Or at least wave your hand with a moue and a moan,
For your minds they are a changing!

Speak up to the menfolk, ye ladies so fair!
(As soon as you've finished adjusting your hair)
Let them know, for the last time, let them know you are there!
And their old ways will soon need some mending!
Rip those antimacassars right off of the chairs,
For your minds they are a-changing!

Stand up for the right for to follow your star!
And eschew the confusion  that has stopped you so far,
But make sure that its him who programs your VCR
If you want General Hospital's station!
And remind him as well please to tune up the car,
For your mind, it is a changing!

Attack him whenever he stares at your jugs,
Stand up and put down all those dumb droolin' mugs
Unless you require them to squash ugly bugs
Or to rehang that Mondrian painting!
Or rewire the speakers, when you want to hear Fugs
For your mind it is a-changing!

Stop and ask for directions (if you won't read a map)
That will free you from ages-old, male-designed traps
Make it clear that you're done with that dishonest crap!
(Except for some powder, when aging!
And a job on your chest, and that faux climax rap)

For your minds, they are a changing.
Oh, your minds, they are a-changing.
And changing.
And changing.
And changing (fade out)

I _still_ like it, after all these years! :>)

A

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 08:42 AM

Thanks for that Amos, I like it too!

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: GUEST,Guest: Saulgoldie
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 09:13 AM

How 'bout "Eat Bertha's Mussels"?

By John Roberts and Tony Barand(sp?) from the green album by the same title. If you care--Sorry, but I can scarcely resist telling this vignette--there is a joint in Bawlmur called "Bertha's", and they had a very clever pr campaign years ago in which they distributed green bumper stickers that read "Eat Bertha's Mussels" Naturally, once you saw them about a dozen and then another dozen times and then another dozen times again, you just *had* to flag down someone with said sticker when you could to ask them what the fuss wuz about. And so, you would have "Bertha's" indelibly emblazoned in your mind from then on. The duo was playing there one time, and decided that there should be a song to go with it, and here it is:

EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS

cho.
C    G7    C                   F                C
Eat Bertha's mussels, they're the best there is by far.
       F                C    Am            D7               G7
Ya' can eat them in the dining room, ya' can eat them at the bar.
    C          G7       C                  F               Am
So, when you're ashore in Baltimore, and ya' fancy a bite to eat,
    F                     C       Am            D7      G7      
Just follow your nose to Bertha's, and you'll be in for a rare old
C    G7
treat.

cho.        

Now a sailor came to Bertha's, with a problem most severe.
His manly pride had atrophied from a voyage of 14 years.
A coupla' plates of mussles, now he sings in a different key.
His jibboom set right, he'll be in there tonight,
And he'll never go back to sea.

cho.

Now a lady came to Bertha's, who wanted a daughter or son.
The doctors had said with a shake of the head, that she couldn't have either one.
So she ate a plate of mussels, and went home to her husband, dear.
She tuned up his crewth, and I'll tell you the truth,
She had triplets the very same year.

cho.

The will cure your diarea, cure your constipation, too.
Just swallow a box for the chicken pox, the measles, or the flu.
So if you fancy the healthy life, keep your daily dosage straight.
A plate a day of Bertha's mussels, and you'll live til you're 98.

cho.

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Marc
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 01:11 PM

Is this album still in print? If not, can someone help me find a melodie? I've sailed into Baltimore on several occasions over the years, and usually make it a point to have a 'few' pints and a plate of mussles when I'm in town. I never knew there was a song untill this past trip (Oct.). I had dinner there with Daphnie Glover (Windlasses), who's presently cooking on Pride', and her 'friend Dan Hornstein. They asked if I knew the song, to which I responded that I didn't know there was one. Haveing read the word now, this would certainly fit in with my repertoir.

Marc Bernier

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: GUEST,Saulgoldie
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 01:21 PM

Marc,
I dunno if the album is still out there. But I have my copy. Um, I *could* sing it to you. Or I could send you a cassette. The album has some other very funny songs on it, like "The Rolling Hills of New Joisey" and "The Cowpuncher".

I have always liked the song and the story. Glad to share! PM me for further discussion.

Saul

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Merritt
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 01:32 PM

A calypso tune I currently like is Man Smart (Woman Smarter) written by Norman Spann(sp?) AKA King Radio. Harry Belafonte recorded circa 1952. It's been covered by a wierd range of folks including Robert Palmer, The Carpenters, Bruce Hornsby.

Lyrics below I've somewhat restructured to minimize repetition and my confusion when performing live. There are other verses around. Works great with only 2 chords - in key of G would be G7+6 and D7 (or D9).

Man Smart (Woman Smarter) ~ King Radio ~ 1955

1. Let us look at woman and man
And see which one is smarter
Some say man, but I say no!
The woman got the man like a puppet show

CHORUS: It ain't me, it's the people that say
The men are leadin' the women astray
But I say - that the women today
Are smarter than man in every way

2. The little boy sat down and cried
An old man passing asked him why
He said, "I can't do what the big boys do"
The man sat down and he cried too - CHORUS

3. Garden of Eden was very nice
Adam never worked paradise
Eve arrives, paradise gone!
Make Adam work from that day on LAST CHORUS

LAST CHORUS: It ain't me, it's the people that say
The men are leadin' the women astray
But I say - that the women today
Are smarter than man in every way
Well that's right, the women are smarter
That's right, the women are smarter
Well that's right, the women are smarter
Smarter than man in every way - END

Good luck with your gig!

- Merritt

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 03:35 PM

Excellent stuff! Thank you. I'm warming to the task now!

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: C-flat
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 12:31 PM

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 01:53 PM

Marc and others-

The John Roberts & Tony Barrand album EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS has been recently reissued as a CD by Golden Hind Music. E-mail John Roberts, who's a Mudcat lurker "Anglo John" or something like that.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: saulgoldie
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 04:05 PM

Thanks, Charlie. Now Marc can get his authentic copy, and the other great songs as well. And I am spared the embarassment of having to crudely rend it to him. And I can get a new listenable copy without having to find my album and fire up the turntable! Thanks.

Saul

Subject: RE: Humorous Songs
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 04:14 PM

Amazing -- I learned en entirely different set of words to that song way gack then. Lemme see what I can reconstruct from memory...


I was courting a girl about twenty-three
She promised she would have a baby fo' me
When de chile was born an' I go to see,
Its eyes were blue! It was a Portuguee!

Not me, it's de people who say
Dat the man is leading de woman astray
But I say that the woman of today
Smahter than the man in every way.

That's right! The woman is (ooh!) smarter (3x)
That's right!

Samson was a strong man long ago
No-one could beat him as we all know
'Til he clash with Delilah on top of a bed
An' told her his strengt' was in de hair on his head!

Dat's right! etc.

Another one which I learned long ago is the WOAD song which I was delighted to hear Bert sing on Mudcat Radio lasdt year. I believe it is in the DT.

A