ADD: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)

Subject: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Kudzuman
Date: 18 Jan 03 - 05:54 PM

I need the lyrics to a song that has this line, "You can't be a pirate with all your parts"   Any ideas? I ran a search and came up with nuttin'. Any help appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Kudzuman

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 18 Jan 03 - 07:01 PM

This is probably based on what seems to be the commonest pirate joke. I won't post it here, it's been done too many times. If you run a search on pirate jokes, you will find it and at least a dozen vatiants.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Jan 03 - 01:08 PM

There once was a pirate named Gates,
Who used to do battle on skates,
But he fell on his cutlass,
Which rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 19 Jan 03 - 03:36 PM

Les Sullivan does a very funny song based on one of the oldest jokes about the old sailor explaining how he lost a leg a hand and an eye.
I know this is not an answer to the request but DOES give something
else to look out for.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 12:45 AM

Copied from http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/rhyme.htm

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.
It hurts like the blazes
And makes you make faces
And you can't let your mates see you cry.
Life seems two-dimensional,
Quite unconventional,
No bleeding need to ask why.
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.

But it's all part of being a pirate.
You can't be a pirate (you can't be, you can't be)
With all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate.
You can't be a pirate (you can't be a pirate)
With all of your parts.

- Saskatchewan singer Don Freed from his song, "Being a Pirate" (on his tape
   "Live ARR!" on Bushleague Records)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 11:20 AM

Thanks for posting this one, Jim.

It could use a few more verses, and instructions for singing it in 3-part harmony. ;~)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 12:16 PM

Would anyone have the other verses to that song? They're about losing a hand, ear, & leg. Tom Lewis sang it at Mystic a couple weeks ago.

Thanks
Marc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 08:47 PM

Words & music by Tom Lewis. I don't think he's recorded it yet but I think he said it's coming out on his new CD.

Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: syren
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 07:01 AM

Actually, Tom only wrote the verse about losing your "whatsits"...I forgot who he said wrote the rest. But yes, it will be on his next cd.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:42 AM

Whoops, thanks.

Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:19 AM

hmmm...maybe I heard wrong...I thought I heard Tom Lewis say he was NOT gonna record it. It is a VERY clever, funny song, and the ways Tom has polished (with props!) it from Don Freed's original is amazing...learn it quickly, folks, for the sad thing is, once it has 'gone public', EVERYONE will be doing it, and we will be inundated with versions and quickly tired of it, (much like "A Place in the Choir", and "Barret's Privateers" a few years back)...

Tom Lewis told me that the group "Pyrates Royale" helped him with it onstage recently, and I cannot imagine them not doing it, if it is possible.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:20 AM

I can see them doing it - oh   my- indeed I can see them doing it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 06:15 PM

Hi Bill, could be, I thought he wrote it & was wrong there, could've been hearing oppsite that night. Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 08:39 PM

Really pathetic, the number of verses unearthed since January. Doesn't anyone care? Doesn't anyone remember just one more verse? Do I have to e-mail Tom Lewis?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:57 PM

I did the workshop that he did it at in Mystic, (I got to wear the peg leg). He said nothing about his recording it there. He did say he'd be glad to give me the words. But we never hooked up again. I agree with Charlie, everyones going to want to do it, and I want to do it before everybody else.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:31 PM

from some scribbled notes on my program..(I never wanted to know shorthand before!)

...ear..
it drips down your neck,
and ________the deck....
You can't wear your glasses..
........

...hand..
It spurts and it squirts,
and it jolly well hurts,
and now you can't play in the band..

...leg...
It hurts like the devil,
{and you can't remain level?}
hoppin' around on a peg!
[and when you go to propose to a lass].
you can't kneel down to BEG!.

sad, but that's all I can do...*grin*

Subject: Lyr Add: BEING A PIRATE (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 07:36 PM

Here is what Tom sang on Sunday morning, attributed as above to Don Freed, on "Live ARR!" from Bushleague.

YOU CAN'T BE A PIRATE
(Don Freed)

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.
It drips down your neck, and it falls on the deck,
'Til someone shouts, "Oy, what's this 'ere?"
You can't wear your glasses, you can't [poll?] the lasses,
Your friends have to shout so you'll hear;
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.

CHORUS
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.
Oh, it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.
It stings like the blazes, it makes you pull faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch
And make sure that the socket stays dry;
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses an eye.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a hand.
It spurts and it squirts and it jolly well hurts,
Pain only a pirate could stand.
The fash'nable look is a nice metal hook,
But now you can't play in the band.
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a hand.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a leg.
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
Hopping around on a peg.
Ask your sweetheart to marry, but too long you've tarried,
'Cause now you can't kneel down and beg.
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a leg.
CHORUS

He added a verse, "Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a ....... whatsit" at the pub sing but what with one thing and another I did not get that one. Did anyone?

---

Click to play

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,celtaddict
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 07:46 PM

The pirate song words were from me, and of course the typo not separating the title from the body. Where are the elves when I need them? And why does the site no longer recognize me as a member?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 09:02 AM

Thank You celtaddict .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 10:17 AM

Yes, thanks so much!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

And a pirate is much more than the sum of his/her parts!

Arghhh!
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 12:19 PM

ahh..at least ONE clever soul had a recorder running..*grin*...I'd give a nickel for the VIDEO, though! Thanks!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,celtaddict
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:28 PM

Quick ear, quicker shorthand (and after a graduate degree still maintain that was the most useful semester course I took in high school), and was forewarned to have paper brain out since I had heard it at the pub sing, so could get it on the second hearing. Tom sings so distinctly one rarely misses a word. Tune is really easy. No video, but I do have still photos! The best moment of the video probably would be Marc NOT strapping on the peg.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:33 PM

You can't be a pirate without.... a few coarse'airs,

Said Nigel, lowering the tone!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Celtaddict
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 03:00 PM

And here I was worrying about the "private ears" and the "cut lass."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM

There is a band at a local pub that learned this song in August and has been performing it since. They have added another verse and it is about losing your head. I will see if I can get the verse and with thier permission I will post it here for you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 09:14 AM

Anyone got a tune for this, or anywhere there's a recording?

It's brilliant.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby douglas
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM

In all seriosity...

I really want to get the tune for this.
I'm not kidding.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 07:42 PM

I'd settle for a key.
Major? Minor?
like a shanty?

Waltz time?

Give us a clue....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 08:12 PM

scabby - you're not being ignored - the tune part is the hard part.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas...
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

so I should just be patient?
Huh?
Just wait for a while, and stop pestering people?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

I can do that.


I can be patient.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Wotcha
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 05:09 AM

To quote Mr. Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean ... "Take wot you can ... Give nothing back!

AAaarh

Brian

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 09:27 AM

I did not mean to imply that, SD - just wanted you to know you weren't being ignorred.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

I have a warm fuzzy feeling now.
Somebody cares.
Awww..

Urk.

Now I have a nauseated feeling.
Made myself sick.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 11:22 PM

I talked to my sister tonight. She knows of a band who plans to have this out on a new CD this summer. If nothing else she'll get the tune from that and we'll make the info available for others to do the same.

Also, Dick Greenhaus is trying to hunt down a copy of the original artist's CD for us. If we get that, we'll share, with permission.

And, lastly, BillD said something about being able to sing it to me, so if all else fails....**bg**...in the meantime, if anyone comes across it, we're still looking for it, too!

That other verse sounds great, too, please do post it if possible.

Thanks!

kat

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 08:27 AM

Someone should ask Tom Lewis ([e-mail]) for the tune, and his unique verses.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 11:07 AM

well, he had ONE 'unique verse'..*grin*... about losing your "whatsis", which they did NOT act out in the public show at Mystic.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 06:51 PM

Well now, if someone would be so good as to come up with the whatsis verse, I will post the tune. I stuck my clever little tape recorder in someone's face and he sang me one verse and the chorus and promised to send me the words, but no joy there yet. So, I'll trade a tune for a 'whatsis', sewn back on or not.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 07:38 PM

c/mon - someone post the whatsis verse so we can get the tune!!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 08:52 PM

Hey Mmario, send me your email and I'll send you the tune.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 09:59 PM

OK, so I posted the tune Barbara sent me - now what about the "whatsit"?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 10:55 PM

hmmmfff..I heard the "whatsit" verse ONCE...in a crowded barroom with no pencil available...and my brain cell ain't what it usta was. Someone needs to corral Tom at a gig somewhere and beg....surely we are 'legion' enuf to have spies everywhere and send a Mudcatter to bring back the goodies!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:52 AM

Tom is scheduled for a concert here in Maine at the Chocolate Church in Bath on Thursday, March 25th. If no one has posted the verse by then I'll be prepared to extract it from him. It could be a dangerous operation...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 09:54 AM

Well.
Thank you for the tune.
Thanks Barbara, and MMario
Thank you thank you thank you.

And I have some time to practice before I unleash it on an unsuspecting public.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Aaaarrr...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 12:47 PM

yes!! Go get 'im, Charley...lie, if you need to..*grin*...tell him, "Of course I won't post it on the internet for thousands of people to learn! I'll only sing it in the shower on alternate Tuesdays".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Cool Beans
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 02:25 PM

This song is rated ARR!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,seanaface
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:25 PM

Hog Eye Naavy does an awesome version of this song! Catch them Sat nights at the Aristocrat in Indianapolis, IN. The pub is NO SMOKING on Saturdays at the lead's insistance.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:37 PM

Sew wot's the meldy arredy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 11:48 PM

I remember a very funny song by Ray Stevens on the "pirate" theme with some very "Charles Hawtrey"-type gay dialogue about fancy slippers etc., with the very butch pirates (ala Brian Blessed saying "YEW WANT TO WEAR WHAT!!??). Anyone got the lyrics of that?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 12:16 PM

Lady Hillary, go up to the top of the post and click on the MIDI switch, or find the place in this thread where the words are posted; below the words are the words Click to play, or try it here: CLICK TO PLAY
Blessings,
BArbara

Subject: Lyr Add: BEING A PIRATE (Freed, Lewis)
From: GUEST,celtaddict (who ate my cookie?)
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:27 PM

Just received a letter from my friend Tom, in response to a bit of begging:

Hello *****,

I've got Don Freed's blessing re. my adaptation of his song. Herewith are his lyric, followed by mine. You'll note that the first and last verses are completely new and several changes to the other verses, to make them a bit more "family friendly" and bring in the actual prostheses, which Don never mentioned. Enjoy!

BEING A PIRATE
(Words & music: Don Freed)

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye,
It hurts like the blazes, it makes you make faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
Life's seems two-dimensional, quite un-conventional,
No bleeding need to ask why,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye.

Chorus: It's all part of being a pirate,
You can't be a pirate (You can't be! You can't be!) with all of your parts,
It's all part of being a pirate,
You can't be a pirate (You can't be a pirate!) with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses their hand,
It squirts and it spurts and it bloody well hurts,
Turn you blue I'll have you understand,
It makes you feel cruddy, the day when somebody,
Gives you a brand new baby-grand,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses their hand.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg,
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
While hopping around on a peg,
So all of you prancers and flamenco dancers,
Can bloody well go suck an egg,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg.

It makes me quite irate- it hardly seems fair,
You can't be a pirate if you are all there!


And now my version:


BEING A PIRATE
(Words & music: Don Freed. ©1985)
(New words and arrangement: Tom Lewis. ©2003)

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an ear,
It drips down your neck then it falls on the deck,
'Til someone shouts: "Oy! What's this 'ere?".
You can't wear your glasses, you can't 'pull' the lasses,
And folks have to shout so you'll hear,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an ear.

Chorus: It's all part of being a pirate (A pirate! A pirate!),
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts,
It's all part of being a pirate (A pirate! A pirate!),
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye,
It stings like the blazes, it makes you make faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch,
And make sure your socket stays dry,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a hand,
It squirts and it spurts and it jolly well hurts,
Pain only a pirate could stand,
The fashionable look is a nice metal hook
But then you can't play in the band.
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a hand.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg,
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
Hopping around on a peg,
Ask your sweetheart to marry, but too long you've tarried,
'Cos now you can't kneel down and beg,
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a 'wotsit',
Though you didn't choose it, you don't want to lose it,
You're hoping that somebody spots it,
Then the 'Doc' comes along and he sews it back on,
Or he ties it on tight – then he knots it!
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a 'wotsit'.

It makes me quite irate -
You can't be a pirate -
With all of your parts!


Cheers, T.

---

Click to play

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:58 PM

ahh..wonderful! Now we can all sing it at each other...*grin*

Tom is a good guy for sharing, and I like most of the tinkering he did with it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 12:20 AM

Looks to me like you need to add a couple beats to places in my transcription -- between chorus lines must have a longer hold note there, because you can really only get one "a pirate" inbetween lines the way I wrote it out.
And the version that comes from Tom has two -- "a pirate, a pirate", so just stick 'em in there. Or I suppose I can redo the MIDI.
But we got the goods, mates, so sing out!
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Feb 04 - 08:53 AM

Excellent work!

Arghhh!
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Nancy Renaud
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 07:24 PM

Sorry to tell you....bue Hog Eye Navvy is no longer performing at Aristocrat. I heard them last night as an opening act at a CD release party for a Celtic group and they sang the "Being a Pirate" with all of its' verses new and old. I am trying to email them to find out if they might possibly record it. They have been working on a new CD for nearly 2 years so who knows. I really want to get the music to this song. Any clues?
[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 03:47 PM

Well, Nancy, depending on how fancy a version you want, you can scroll up in this thread till you find the "Click to play" link, or go to the Mudcat MIDIs and search for it there, or if those are too complicated, post here again, and I'll move the link down here. It's just a melody line piano part, you have to sing the words along with it if you want words.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From:
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 06:41 PM

Correct title: BEING A PIRATE. I'm very pleased that this ditty is being found entertaining by so many people. Unfortunately, Don Freed has no desire to share credits (nor, royalties) in regards to my additions and alterations. He is very attached to the song IN ITS ENTIRETY; which consists of an introductory, 'A', part of the song - very poignant and sentimental, about 3 minute long. He is quite chagrined that I've not been performing, nor promoting, 'the whole song'! If anyone wants this part Don can be reached at: .

So - whilst I freely acknowledge that the concept, the basic structure and the melody are all his; I've added 2 verses to his original 3, and
substantially altered those. The copyright situation is un-clear - to say the least. Currently; should the song be recorded with ANY of the lyric appearing on this forum (Don's or mine) then, officially, I have no claim to any part of the royalty. That being the case, I would respectfully request that anyone using the song use ONLY Don's original lyric 0 and it would please Don very much if you'd learn, and sing, the first part of the song as well. Sing on! Tom Lewis.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From:
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 06:43 PM

Don's e-mail address: [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Celtaddict
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 07:46 PM

Thanks for the update, Tom. It is still great fun. I suspect we will keep singing your version, crediting both you and Mr. Freed, and not record it at all. All the best to you and to all the grand songs that are 100% yours (or PD).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 10:00 AM

Well, that clears the aire so to speak. I do acknowledge that the original songwriter has a basic right to exercise control of his/her creative work. But I'm also pleased when the original creative artist is willing to accept credit (and royalties) for their inspiration and acknowledge that other creative artists may have actually added to or improved their work. I'm not sure how one divies up collaborative creative efforts but I think it's worth a try.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,Teresa
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 12:37 PM

I just came across this on the internet, and being a person that enjoys Don Freeds music and lyrics , I think it appalling that you all believe you have some right to Mr. Freed's music, even if you have done a slight change, the problem it is a slight change and does not warrant any of you either taking credit for this song or recording it. It is also my understanding that Tom Lewis does not have rights to this song, nor should be given any credit what so ever for one verse.

Teresa da Costa-Neubauer
Winnipeg

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From:
Date: 27 May 05 - 03:06 PM

This is such a great song. Think I now have all lyrics and the tune, except for the last three lines added at the end of the Ton Lewis version, i.e. "It makes me quite irate--You can't be a pirate--with all of your parts!" Does anyone know the tune to these lines, or are they spoken or what??

Thanks, Joy

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 05 - 03:21 PM

Teresa da Costa-Neubauer
Winnipeg

pleasae note that there do not appear to be any claims here that they wrote the song -
the first post of lyrics credits Mr. Freed. When a mistake was made and music and lyrics were credited to Tom Lewis it was corrected within 12 hours. Tom Lewis himself specifically posted that credit was Don's and requested people by preference sing only don's lyrics.

so though you may think it appalling that you all believe you have some right to Mr. Freed's music that doesn't appear to be the case at all - and you may stop being appalled.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 05 - 04:57 PM

additionally....ALL songwriters know that once the public gets ahold of a song, stuff begins to happen to it, whether of not the author approves! Recording rights and such still remain somewhat under the control of the author, as it should be, but for just plain enjoyment and sharing and fun, songs like this will always be modified, if not intentionally, then accidently.

   One of the virtues of Mudcat is that ongoing discussions such as this do help to keep straight who the author was, what the author originally intended, how he wrote it, what tunes are used...etc.... I can think of a number of songs that have been rescued from total confusion by being discussed here..("The Key of 'R'", "Woodturners Love Song", "Waltzing With Bears", a couple of Harvey Andrews' songs...etc..)

I do hope that someone WILL record it as originally intended by Don Freed, and that it prospers...but I suspect that the delightful version that Tom Lewis get as much, if not more, attention. This is a compliment to the author, even if he shakes his head a bit over what has happened to his creation.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 May 05 - 05:32 PM

Teresa-

You probably are not that familiar with how the Mudcat Forum operates.

You can review the comments that people have made previously in any thread.

I urge you to do that with respect to this thread. I believe you owe most of us an apology.
I don't find the discussion at all appalling.

Once Tom Lewis clarifed what Don Freeds' position was, most of us are quite willing to respect his position and would not consider recording any version except Freed's, with his permission and a royalty agreement.

However, I'll sing what I like in more informal settings.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From:
Date: 14 Oct 05 - 07:51 PM

I heard the whatsit verse as follows:

Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a "thing".
Though you didn't choose it, you don't want to lose it,
And now when you go, there's that sting.
You can sew it back on with a needle and thong,
But it just doesn't have the same spring
Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a thing.


But for the life of me I can't remember the verse about the "head", other than "you won't need a pillow in bed", and something about "no lips for kissin, and you don't have to listen" to your wife or something along those lines. Anyone heard it? Much obliged.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,PirateJenny
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 08:28 AM

To the guy who posted on Oct 14: Thanks for the "thing" verse! Gotta have a bawdy verse in there. We be pirates, not priests! Arr harr harrrrr.

I can't remember the "head" verse either. But based on what you remembered, I wrote this. What do you think:

Being a pirate is all fun and games
Until somebody loses a head.
You can throw away that
Dashing three-cornered hat
And you won't need a pillow in bed.
You've got no lips for kissin' -
Your whole face is missin!
You're just hanging on by a thread.
Oh, being a pirate is all fun and games, until somebody loses a head.

:) Pirate Jenny

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 09:28 AM

Anyone for losing a "nose'?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM

It is quite obvious that this song is destined for a place in history and in the folk (or at least filk) process.

Those who need a bit of supporting material may wish to note that in some current circles, the traditional "Arrrgh" (no offense to Mr Noble) has been supplanted by an alternate expletive based on the discovery of the ancient texts of the Church of the FSM, and the discovery of the correlation between global warming and the decline of piracy.

(All fully documented at CoFSM)

In honor of this new being, held sacred by it's 6 million (estimated) new converts, and the indisputable link between piracy and our ecology, a number of those devoted to the study and propogation of traditions of piracy have suggested that the new, and more appropriate expletive is:

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMMMENNN!

(But this may be accepted only in certain circles where awareness is sufficiently widespread.)

John

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Dec 05 - 09:55 PM

John-

You should be more careful where you surf, Flying Spegetti Monsters, indeed! Everyone should know that the universe was created by the CONQUORING KOHLRABI.

You know this was a perfectly decent thread until religion was dragged screaming into it. Lord know what's gonna be posted next!

Charley Noble, who wised he had an ultimate edit button

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 06:14 PM

Do Pastafarians sing RRRRRRegggae music?

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Bugsy
Date: 11 Dec 06 - 01:18 AM

SOUNDS LIKE A MUTINY TO ME, M'HEARTIES!!!


Cheers


Bugsy

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: k80
Date: 05 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM

Being a pirate is all fun & games, until somebody loses their mind
swear words you once knew completely elude you
there are many more things you can't find
first you're drawing a blank, then you're walking the plank
being keel-hauled or just left behind
Being a pirate is all fun & games until somebody loses a mind

this verse pulled out of my own lost mind..............I imagine this will be a song like Old Time Religion in about 6 weeks.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: s&r
Date: 06 Jul 08 - 07:01 AM

Being a pirate is all fun and games
until somebody loses a head
It falls with a thud
and it's covered in blood
and your beard is all sticky and red
You can't comb your hair, 'cause your head's over there
And besides that by now you'll be dead

Oh...

Stu

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Skivee
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 01:15 AM

FYI, We Pyrates Royale did indeed record this on our most recent album, BlackJack, and we paid full royalties to both Don Freed and Tom Lewis. It seemed only fair considering the work they both put into the song.
For those interested:
The PR Website

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM

Skivee-

That's the way to do it in good faith.

But I'm curious. Was Don Freed agreeable to this transaction or did you just send him a check?

Unless you have a formal release from Freed, the waters may still be muddy or even bloody!

Seriously, the song in its many forms is quite popular in our circles and I'm sure that more groups would like a clear path with regard to recording, without ripping anyone off.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Skivee
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:04 AM

As I recall, we sent him the check along with the particulars. He cashed the check just like it was real money.
Not to get all uppity and legalish, but his acceptance of the check is agreement to our use of the song. We also made sure to credit both of them in the liner notes.
But,whatever version of the song might be recorded by others, it is certainly true that Mr.Freed is owed his due royalty payment.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 05:37 PM

Skivee-

I'm pleased to hear that even some pirates behave ethically. It's a great song, and it's escaped whatever "containment" Mr. Freed tried to impose. I think a check and credit is appropriate for this level of commercial recording. If the song ever becomes wildly popular, then some folks may be persuaded to get "all uppity and legalish." That's their call.

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
Till someone rips off your song;
The verses don't scan,
The lyrics are bland,
And the spirit is oh so wrong!
They send you a check
And you say "What the heck?
I need a new chaise longue --
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
Till someone rips off your song!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 18 Sep 08 - 08:57 AM

Refreshing!

The Harrisville Women gathered to surprise me last night and one of the romantic pre-wedding songs they sang was this one!
(They also sang, Sorry the day I was married, Still I love him, and Breaking up is hard to do, among other gems- but this one was the best!)

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Sep 08 - 03:57 AM

sounds like you are in for an interesting & unusual, & definitely not boring wedding!

sandra

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 04:20 PM

So I heard a verse about losing your butt. Anyone know that one?

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Dec 08 - 04:27 PM

http://www.wtv-zone.com/phyrst/audio/nfld/10/pirate.htm

Here's a link with lyrics and a recording.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: CapriUni
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 01:22 PM

Hm. My memory wants to tell me that the midi for this song in the Mudcat Midis is a borrowed tune.

But I can't for the life of me remember which one... Help?

Subject: RE: Reg/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: mbj130
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 02:56 PM

The songs above are really creative uses of the pirate theme for a song. I'd love to hear it performed live.

Another suggestion. I find that you can take the idea, modify it, and have quite a bit of fun with it. With the right audience, you can use the style of a limerick. For example, use the words in the notes above about

"he fell on his cutlass,
And rendered him nutlass ..."

Great creative use of the language!

another one I just made up:

A pirate who bragged his was large.
"It gives the young girls quite a charge."
He took off his pants
And the girls stole a glance
And all they could say was just "Argh."

For music, it's pretty simple to find a chord progression that will fit. When I was in my 20's, we had a limerick song that had a silly chorus line (my source was Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts from their fraternity concert days. They had a marvelously bawdy vinyl album.) Chorus was:

"Hot Nuts! Hot Nuts!
You get 'em from the peanut man.

Hot Nuts! Hot Nuts
You use 'em any way that you can"

Then a limerick then the chorus, and another limerick, etc. You can also interpret non-pirate limericks, like:

There once was a coupe named Kelly
Who went around belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

ETC

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Apr 11 - 03:36 PM

When we sing this song, when we come to the chorus we shift into a faster gear. Try it. It's the kind of sung that shouldn't drag.

We also have a fine collection of visual aids that we toss out into the audience at appropriate moments, although we still haven't found a "wotsit" at the Christmas Tree Shop.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Barbara
Date: 12 May 11 - 10:14 PM

Ooh, Charley, that's easy. you just use a Little Piece of Wang .
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Stewie
Date: 12 May 11 - 10:31 PM

We used huge crossed cardboard bandaids to cover the spot.

--Stewie.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 May 11 - 07:34 AM

Stewie-

"We used huge crossed cardboard bandaids to cover the spot."

Excellent idea but I think we'll go with crisscrossed red duct tape.

There will be a pirates song workshop at this year's Mystic Sea Music Festival. We're hoping that we make the "cut" for workshop participation.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,jim radford
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 02:00 PM

I memorised this when I first heard it, from Trim rig and a Doxie, but didn't get the last verse, so I wrote my own, which I still prefer to other versions I have heard

Being a pirate is all gfun and Games till somebody loses a Thing.
You can't take a slash, you can't even flash
You can't play with your old ding a ling
Your voice get's higher, you can sing in the choir
But the best perk of the job's taken wing.
Being a pirate is all fun ang games till somebody loses athing

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Girl Friday
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM

This was sung in The Middle Bar Session on Thursday. The singer used Jim's last verse.

Subject: RE: Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 05:54 PM

Jim-

Very tasteful!

We did create a verse in empathy with the original composer which began:

Being a pirate is all fun and games till somebody rewrites your song...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 08:30 PM

Here's Norris Dale's final verse for this song:

Being a pirate is all fun and games
Til somebody writes a new verse;
The lyrics are doggerel,
The rhyming is mongrel;
It just couldn't get any worse;
And then it goes viral
In a widening spiral
And everyone sings it, of course--
Being a pirate is all fun and games
Til somebody writes a new verse!

I should think even Don Freed might appreciate this verse.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: Lyr Add: BEING A PIRATE (from Highland Reign)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 May 13 - 11:42 PM

BEING A PIRATE
As sung by Highland Reign on "Laddio" (2008)

[Verses 1-4 and the chorus are nearly the same as those posted by GUEST above on 04-Jul-2003]

5. Bein' a pirate is all fun and games
Till somebody loses their head.
There's no need to floss, and the wife won't be cross
Over some little something you said.
No appointments to keep; you'll get plenty of sleep,
But you won't need a pillow in bed.
Bein' a pirate is all fun and games
Till somebody loses their head.

6. Bein' a pirate is all fun and games
Till somebody loses their thing.
Though he didn't choose it, he doesn't want to lose it,
And now when he uses it, it stings.
Well, he can sew it back on with a needle and thong,
But it just doesn't have the same spring.
Bein' a pirate is all fun and games
Till somebody loses their thing.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 May 13 - 12:56 AM

Two years ago somebody wanted to know what tune the chorus reminded her of. I think the chorus of this song owes a lot to 'Pretty Redwing.'

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 May 13 - 01:37 PM

I mentioned this song to my husband, and it awakened his Inner Cub Scout. Now he wants to learn it.

Last night I typed it up, and it seemed to get awful repetitious. So I modified it some.

Being a pirate is all fun and games...
Being a pirate is all very well...
Being a pirate is all well and good...

It adds a specious intellectuality. How do I remember what to sing when? Cycle through in alphabetical order.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: open mike
Date: 14 May 13 - 02:31 AM

It would be good to put a link to this on the Sept 19 "talk like a pirate" thread.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 10:48 PM

Our group, the Motley Tones, is looking to put this song on our new CD and I looked EVERYWHERE for Don Freed's contact information, finally finding this thread.

I sent a request to the address and learned that it has a new owner. Happily, she forward me the correct address and I am putting it here for future network spelunkers:

[e-mail]

Greg Tarsa

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,wellsy
Date: 05 Apr 17 - 10:05 AM

Here's another version of the thing verse. I think it's a slight improvement on the other two on here.

Here also, is my own new verse: the 'arse' verse. I hope you like it -

Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a "thing".
Now you'll feel pathetic, wearin' a prosthetic,
And, a course, now when you go, there's that sting.
You can sew it back on with a needle and thong,
But it just doesn't have the same spring
Being a pirate is all fun and games, til somebody loses a thing.

Well, bein' a pirate is all fun n games til somebody loses an arse.
At dinner theyll frown, Because you won't sit down
Life just descends into farce
Your breeches don't fit, You're a disfigured git
There's no part to lose that is worse
Bein' a pirate is all well and good
til somebody loses an arse.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: GUEST,John Russell
Date: 23 Mar 18 - 10:08 AM

Great last verse - in an adult session.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)
From: EBarnacle
Date: 28 Mar 18 - 10:48 AM

It's a mixed blessing.

https://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/141020_a18581-600.jpg