You can't sing when...

Subject: BS: You can't sing when...
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 11:19 PM

Your throat is sore from smoking to much

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 11:38 PM

What you hear is your head is not what comes out of your mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Deda
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 12:06 AM

You have laryngitis.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Melani
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 12:50 AM

You're eating peanut butter.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 01:03 AM

Some uncontrolled six-year-old kid keeps trying to play your guitar for you.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Strupag
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 09:15 AM

When you're on stage and suddenly you have the most urgent need to visit the loo! Aye it happened to me recently - I've never rushed a song so much in all my life!

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: lady penelope
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 09:20 AM

When you're trying to stop the snot from running out of your nose.....yeuch!   (personal experience)


TTFN M'lady P

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: allanwill
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 09:46 AM

No foldback when playing amplified.

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: harvey andrews
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 10:27 AM

You realise you didn't check your zip before going onstage and it's a blinding white spotlight on you.

Your host has fed you a rice based meal.

An ex is in the front row.

You see the promoter sneaking off with the takings.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 10:42 AM

The people you are singing for suddenly break into a loud conversation about something trivial. Well, you can, but it takes a lot of the fun out of it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Noreen
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 11:20 AM

...you remember the person you used to sing the song for isn't there any more...

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 11:21 AM

Someone has told a terrible joke and you're cracking up laughing....

Hiccoughing.

Most people can't sing whilst yawning, but, on the highland pipe principle, it is possible to make noise come out whilst breath goes into mouth.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: GUEST,Gern
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 11:23 AM

Someone accompanying you is off-key, or when you've just eaten popcorn.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: SussexCarole
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 11:48 AM

.....you see someone asleep in the back row of the audience and thought they were singing in the chorus behind you..............

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 11:56 AM

An elephant is sat on your head.........
Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 12:42 PM

when the Folk Club is dominated by a beligerent misanthropist.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 01:10 PM

Somebody accidently let off pepper spray at the bar in the front of the room. (Happened to me in the middle of "Five Foot Flirt.")

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 01:31 PM

You are at an outdoor festival and are being bitten by mosquitos, fleas, yellowflies, deerflies, horseflies, gnats, midges, chiggers, no-see-ums or any other species of critter that may be endemic to your area.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 02:08 PM

Besides smoke in the tonsils, the next most irritating thing is when crumbs, mentioned above, go down the wrong pipe. I have to go away, red faced and gasping. People always sat stupid but kind things like 'are you allright'. If I could reply I would say 'certainly but I about to die as well.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: GUEST,skippy
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 05:07 PM

Babara is in the room!
(for those in the know)

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: CraigS
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 05:08 PM

the smoker you drink, the player you get (Joe Walsh)

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Feb 03 - 10:38 PM

...you have your head up your ass. Or maybe you can (I avoid the experiment), but only you will hear it and feel it.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 12:04 PM

They are having Bell-Ringing practice in the church next door - used to happen at Checkeden, Oxfordshire !

... And the men of North Loo all the songs they would screw.....

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 02:01 PM

When you start the line "there are frail forms fainting at the door" and a bearded bloke in a green string vest walks through it!!! Eh Noreen :¬))

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Col K
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 03:47 PM

We remember that well, but its usually me at the door when she sings it and me as a frail form fainting takes some imagination as well.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Firecat
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 03:51 PM

You're angry.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 03:56 PM

When your mind goes totally blank.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Beccy
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 04:07 PM

... you have someone "sitting in" on the session who insists that everything is better with some harmonica along with it...

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Kaleb
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 04:32 PM

You can't hear over the voices in your head. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 06:56 PM

(Mrs Duck- I don't think I'll ever be able to sing that line with a straight face again...)

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 03:46 PM

A randy female at the front of the stage runs her hand up your pants leg about as far as she can reach. This happened to a band mate and he actually only paused momentarily, then continued on in a much higher voice!

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 09:44 PM

You are right in the middle of a tragic song and someone in the audience (who shall remain nameless) is asleep and falls off her chair.

The song you are trying to sing is one you used to sing with your partner, who is now an ex. #:o(

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 10:14 PM

... you're fighting off an humongous belch because you chugged your Guinness too fast.

(another reason, combined with Strupag's above, to avoid drinking during a serious gig)

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Alba
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 10:27 PM

.....you walk on stage during your intro and wack your shine off the foldback monitor (very hard) As you sing your first word you can feel a trickle on your leg and you know now it's bleeding!!!. Also not good to know you have ripped your tights and the audience is now looking at your legs and not hearing your song...
I assume that the tights would make this applicable to female singers but then again..............whatever blows yer whistle.
Alba

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:03 AM

I did manage to continue singing "I touched her on the toe" when the "victim" I'd selected, removed her clothes as I sang the song - ending up completely naked. It was on a warm summer evening outside a popular Thameside pub - we were running a Folk Day event and she was having her "Hen Party".

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:33 PM

Diarrhea. The runs. The shits. Montezuma's revenge.

'Nuff said. I *really* don't want to go into this.

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: JudeL
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:40 PM

When you want to cry because the person you remember singing it, is no longer around.


Alternatively you are singing on paltalk and you get distracted by the messages appearing on the screen!

Subject: RE: BS: You can't sing when...
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:44 PM

...you're dead.

So let's all sing loud and clear while we're here.

Subject: RE: You can't sing when...
From: Genie
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 01:19 AM

¥Someone's overpowering perfume triggers an athsma attack
¥You really have to belch but can't quite get it out
¥A lady with stage 3 Alzheimer's tries to take your guitar away from you mid-song
¥A drunk in the audience is 'harmonizing' with you at the top of his lungs but doesn't know the words

¥You've just screwed up the words ("...I heard your face and saw you call my name...") and everyone else is doubled up laughing, and now you are, too.  (This happened to me last Monday.)