Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 19 Mar 03 - 04:42 PM I've been looking for a really good new Challenge! for a while now -- and I think I've found it. If this doesn't take your minds off of any brouhaha that might be botherin' you, I don't know what will ;-) Break out the ol' TP and crayons and get busy, 'Catters!! The Day That Daddy Took My N-n-n-n-nimbus Away . . . (From Business 2.0's website's list of 'The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business') -- Shortly after Mattel releases its Nimbus 2000 broom as part of its line of Harry Potter toys, the vibrating device begins getting the wrong sort of customer raves. "I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 7-year-old," says one enthusiastic mother on Amazon. "My only complaint is, I wish the batteries didn't run out quite so quickly." Mattel stops making the toy, but denies that the unintended value-add is the reason. Says a spokesperson: "It's just not a continued product in our line." |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 03 - 04:58 PM Nimbus! I think You MOOOOVE me! But Ah wanna know for sure.... Jesus, what a Mom won't do to pass the hours away! LOL! Good 'un, TGG!! Lemme just chew on it...no, wait, that's not what I meant...think about it a while! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Charley Noble Date: 19 Mar 03 - 05:37 PM Someone soon will make a clean sweep of this challenge! Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Mar 03 - 05:41 PM Actually this ties up with some of the theories people have put forward about why witches were said to be associated with brooms. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: SINSULL Date: 19 Mar 03 - 06:01 PM Am I the only one fantisizing about the Sorcerer's Apprentice? Hey Mickey Mouse! Toss that bucket of water this way! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 19 Mar 03 - 07:13 PM I think you all are getting the idea (hehehe) -- Now, get writing!! -- Áine (PS - Kevin, I've heard that theory about the witch's broom, too. Upon deep reflection ;-), I've come to the conclusion that the theory is bogus, due the amount of splinters that must have been present in the handles of ancient brooms . . . ouch! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Genie Date: 19 Mar 03 - 07:39 PM "Good. g-good, g-g-good, g-g-g-good vibrations..." LOL, Áine! Gotta rev up my motor for this 'un! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 03 - 07:57 PM On a Nimbus(Tune: From a Distance, as sung by Barbra Streisand)(Chorus of saccharine violins inro) On a Nimbus The motion's always smooth And the broomstick, always firm! On a Nimbus The special magic vibes Make a housewife want to squirm On a Nimbus, I can climb on any time Wait til Bob leaves for work, and the-e-e-en I can stay at home Ride while on the phone It's a kind of Tantric Zen! On a Nimbus I ride up to sky And I twirl and float back down On a Nimbus I never do feel blue When there's no-one else around On a Nimbus I can be with -- Harrison Ford! Or even Sly Stalo-o-o-one! And escape my days With three triple-A's And discover heights unknown! God is touching me God is touching me God is touching me, on my Nimbus! God is touching me God is touching me God is touching me, on my Nimbus! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 03 - 07:58 PM "What" s/b "Wait". Sorry. A spelling fixed by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Genie Date: 19 Mar 03 - 08:05 PM Good one, Amos! Now here's a song title: (Addressed to Mattel) "You Light Up My Wife" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 19 Mar 03 - 08:33 PM F-f-f-f-f-fantastic!!, dear Amos!! I hope you've rev'd the rest of my darlin' Challenge!rs up ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Tinker Date: 19 Mar 03 - 09:34 PM Oh.... when I finally finish cleaning up behind the skunky dog I've got something fun to look forward too.... Hmmmm.... Maybe something around one of the "kitchen blues" ... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: GUEST,alinact Date: 19 Mar 03 - 11:12 PM By gee, they are gonna have to be good to beat Amos. Allan |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 03 - 11:18 PM Roll 'em up and write 'em ouyt, songsters and bards!! The Gaelic Goddess is back in town!! Yeehaa!! Blind Five-Minutes-Flat Persimmon III |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: GUEST,alinact Date: 20 Mar 03 - 12:00 AM OK, Amos, I better give you some competition. (Just a note for the littlies, this is for Mum and Dad only). DADDY DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT MY NIMBUS (To the tune "Teddy Bears Picnic") If you go into the closet today your in for a big surprise. If you go into the closet today you'd better close your thighs. For every broom that ever there was is awfully jelous because, because today's the day the Nimbus makes its debut. This broom has special qualities, it's designed to make you moan. This broom has extra qualities, it's better than a "bone". It curls your hair, it gives you a scare, it's better than a man because it cares. Today's the day the Nimbus makes its debut. The Nimbus broom is full of fun, It's long and thick and round and knows just when you "cum". Watch it as it stays in there; it's even got a thatch of pubic hair. See it duly dance about as you decide just what it is going to do. And at six o'clock you give it a rest to wait for another day cos' hubby will be home real soon. (repeat first verse.) THE End. Allan |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Genie Date: 20 Mar 03 - 03:08 AM Well, please excuse my premature submission, but I'm not at all sure I'll finish this song (with Singtime Frolics starting Friday), so here's part of a parody: The REALLY Marvelous Toy (by Genie, with apologies to Tom Paxton ... oh, never mind, I don't think Tom would mind, do you?) When I was just a tired housewife assailed by girls and boys, My husband homeward came one day and gave my son a toy How wonderful it seemed to me, with whistles, bells and lights-- And the moment I laid eyes on it it I had a great insight. It went "purrrrrrr" when it moved and "bzzzzzzzz" when it stopped And "Ka-blaam!" when it sat still! I wasn't sure just what it was, but it could be quite a thrill! The first time that I picked it up, a welcome big surprise-- For massaging my bottom it had two buttons that vibrated my thighs. It kneaded one and and warmed the other, and when I twisted its lid And set it down, while I sat down, this is what I did: I went "purrrrrrr" when it moved and "bzzzzzzzz" when it stopped And "Sha-zaam!" when I sat still! I still didn't know just what it was, but it gave me quite a thrill! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Genie Date: 20 Mar 03 - 03:10 AM Sorry about that double spacing. I forgot to un-check the auto line breaks. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 20 Mar 03 - 04:25 AM With apologies to (the original) Little Miss Dynamite: Well, come-a little baby let's hump the broomstick Come on it's got me hot Come-a little baby let's hump the broomstick Come on it's got the lot Father don't like it, my brother don't like it My sister don't like it, my mother don't like it Come-a little baby let's hump the broomstick Come on let's hit the spot BJ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 20 Mar 03 - 04:32 AM Woke up this mornin' guess I'll dust my broom (x2) Gonna put in some new batteries, let it take me to the moon. (C) Robert Johnson/Mattel/EverReady Broom Broom Broom Broom Gonna turn you right on Broom Broom Broom Broom Whoa, it turns me right on Broom Broom Broom Broom Housework's never been such fun. (C)Hooker/Mattel/EverReady RtS (fragments collected in the field) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 20 Mar 03 - 08:13 AM Hopefully this will come across as McNiecean ... otherwise it will read as a load of oul' bollocks ... whatever! Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle The dish ran away with the spoon My da done a bunk with the hoover And me ma fell in love with the broom Me granda's an avid musician Forever he's fingerin' his flute Me granny's freewheelin' down cobbles She thinks it's a jolly oul' hoot Me sister's been selling her favours A job that she really enjoys She's known to put smiles on the faces Of all of the neighbourhood boys My brother's been waving his magic wand 'Cadabra and alakazam He's changed his Porsche Carrera Into a new baby's pram My uncle's a drunk ceili cowboy At dances the lassies he'll lift He'll stumble and fumble and mumble "Are ye up for a bit of a shift?" The priest shines his pillar of virtue He polishes morning and night The bishop is fond of his crozier And won't let it out of his sight The peeler is wielding his baton His bite is much worse than his bark It's many's the one that's been bitten When wandering back home in the dark But me I'm a saint and a scholar Unblemished by spot or by stain I'll earn my reward in the sweet-bye-and-bye Up in the Elysian domain |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 03 - 08:43 AM LOL!! Derry, ya still got those magic fingers!! Wish you could bottle that stuff. A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 03 - 10:59 AM I knew this one would get ya'll goin'! ;-) I do believe that there are some B.L.O.B.'s that need to be tossed out now: To Amos for whisking the cobwebs away with: I can stay at home Ride while on the phone It's a kind of Tantric Zen! To alinact for this set of seemly lines: It curls your hair, it gives you a scare, it's better than a man because it cares. To Genie for this nether-numbing chorus: I went "purrrrrrr" when it moved and "bzzzzzzzz" when it stopped And "Sha-zaam!" when I sat still! I still didn't know just what it was, but it gave me quite a thrill! To Bullfrog Jones for this ditty of dy-no-mite: Come-a little baby let's hump the broomstick Come on let's hit the spot To Roger the Skiffler for collecting this out in his field: Woke up this mornin' guess I'll dust my broom Woke up this mornin' guess I'll dust my broom Gonna put in some new batteries, let it take me to the moon And to my darlin' Aidan, for shifting us all with this little bit: Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle The dish ran away with the spoon My da done a bunk with the hoover And me ma fell in love with the broom My, my, my -- This Challenge! has the potential to be as good as the infamous Great Easter Bonnet(?) Special Challenge of 2000!! Keep 'em comin' (oh, behave!) Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Tinker Date: 20 Mar 03 - 12:25 PM Momma Hollers (Tune: Shave 'em Dry) I want all you rouges and ramblers to gather round While I gives you all - the fresh low down About momma's maid – I won't call her name But I found her whoop-de-doopin' with the broom again Chorus: Now, Mother hollers Gonna watch her jump 'n jive She gets up every mornin'– starts a pushin' that broom Get up and goes – moves from room to room Now what she's a doin' I can't understand All the neighbors say it's magic with that broom in her hand Now she's the kind that don't clean –Housekeepin' just ain't her style But if you dumb enough - to fall for her jive She'll play with her broom, it's got good housekeeping seals If you supply the batteries she'll work for a steal Interlude Now if you want something good and want it cheap You can go down – and still keep it neat Just step right in -with batteries in your hand There's a floor show at home come and strike up the band I'm gonna tell all you women --You might take my man But don't let me find-- my broom in your hands "Cause if you do -- I'll shoot first and shout Sweep you aside and then cast you out. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 03 - 12:40 PM Way to go, Tinker!! Love it! Here's your B.L.O.B. for this sweeping finish: I'm gonna tell all you women --You might take my man But don't let me find-- my broom in your hands "Cause if you do -- I'll shoot first and shout Sweep you aside and then cast you out. -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Clifton53 Date: 20 Mar 03 - 10:35 PM The Fuller Brush Man ( "The Fryin' Pan",, John Prine} I come home from work this evening, Ate cold beans from a can, And I asked the wife 'whatcha do today', She said 'I spoke with The Fuller Brush Man'. Chorus And he sold me a broom I mean azoom zoom zoom, Best whisk of my life, Sit back babe and watch me ride, you got a happy smilin' wife. Well I sat there lookin' stupid, And I cursed my rotten fate And the wife and her broom flew around the room, She said " it's twenty years too late" Chorus And he sold her a broom, I mean avoom voom voom, Best whisk of my life, Sit back babe and watch me ride, you got a happy smilin' wife, Well I was feelin' useless And I know you would be too, As she said to me, " that salesman dear, He's got a fuller brush than you". Chorus And he sold me a broom, I mean aboom boom boom, Best whisk of my life, Sit back babe and watch me ride, you got a happy smilin' wife Clifton |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: mousethief Date: 20 Mar 03 - 10:57 PM Tom Paxton is eminently squinchable on this topic. The Broom-Broom Song (tune: the car-car song) Go for a ride on the Nimbus Go for a ride on the Nimbus Go for a ride on the Nimbus Broom broom broom (Chorus) Broom br- broom, Broom br- broom, Broom br- broom, Broom broom broom. Mama gonna sweep the hallway (3x) broom broom broom Sister wants to sweep her room again (3x) broom broom broom Cousin wants to use that broom awhile (3x) broom broom broom Copyright © 2003 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 03 - 11:07 PM Two bright ones! LOL!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: mousethief Date: 20 Mar 03 - 11:19 PM Anybody remember Hee-Haw? Where oh where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and I thought I'd found true love You bought a Nimbus, and pbbbth! you was gone. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Tinker Date: 20 Mar 03 - 11:24 PM I can't resist posting this one, it's too perfect, but since I only changed 3 words I bow to the original wordsmith... NOBODY BEATS MY BROOM (Nobody Beats my BOB-- Camille West) My girl friends all claimed to have 'em Six or seven times a night. I never felt a spasm; Maybe I wasn't doing it right. Kama Sutra was fruitless with Brian and Bill It gave me no thrill, no throb. I tried yoga and vodka, Gina and Jill; I remained unfulfilled 'til I found BOB. He's my Battery Operated Broom NOBODY BEATS MY BOB He's my randy racin' Romeo, my favorite toy friend Oy friend, he does the job. He's a lovin' machine, my right hand man, An Alkaline Adonis, climax in a can Talk about safe sex My lover is latex! NOBODY BEATS MY BOB He's gentle and affectionate and easy to conceal NOBODY BEATS MY BOB How many other lovers earn The Good Housekeeping Seal? Keep your beer guzzling slob. Does BOB cure insomnia? Does BOB relieve stress? I'd have to say y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes! You should hear him hum on maximum! NOBODY BEATS MY BOB I sing the body electric As my limbs begin to flail I shake like an epileptic Breaking the Richter scale! He's a regular rocket that fits in my closet NOBODY BEATS MY BOB When I get an itch it's a flick of the switch, A simple turn of the knob Who'd have thought a small appliance could be noble in it's use? It increases self reliance, Self-esteem through self-abuse If you need a quick fix, BOB's at your cervix. He's the one for the job OH MY GOD! No one competes No one defeats NOBODY BEATS MY BROO--OO--OOM NOBODY BEATS MY BROOOOOOOOOOOM! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 20 Mar 03 - 11:37 PM Mommy Quit playing with my toys Oh Mommy Quit playing with my toys I'm being laughed and laughed at by all the other boys And mommy please stop smiling smiling so much at that noise mama quit your playing playing with my toys I got all the books and the dvd movies My! Harry Potter is oh so groovy But when I got the flying broom She took it from my room She rides it every day So much I gotta say Oh Mommy Quit playing with my toys I'm being laughed and laughed at by all the other boys And mommy please stop smiling smiling so much at that noise mama quit your playing playing with my toys You'd think that would be enough But she found some other stuff But she took my vasiline and my model submarine And her eyes just open wide When the Nautilus starts to dive Oh Mommy Quit playing with my toys I'm being laughed and laughed at by all the other boys And mommy please stop smiling smiling so much at that noise mama quit your playing playing with my toys |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: mousethief Date: 20 Mar 03 - 11:54 PM Dust My Broom (with apologies to Robert Johnson) I'm gonna get up in the mornin', I believe I'll dust my broom (2x) I don't need the man I been lovin', girlfriend, with the Nimbus in my room I'm gon' write a letter, telephone every Toys 'R' Us I know (2x) If I can't buy a Nimbus in West Helena, I'll find one in East Monroe, I know I don't want no downtown man, no man to make me moan and weep (2x) I don't need no downtown man, when I got a Nimbus for to sweep I believe, I believe I'll sweep on back home (2x) Oh that Nimbus 2000, baby, I can't leave it alone I'm gonna get up in the mornin', I believe I'll dust my broom (2x) I don't need the man I been lovin', girlfriend, with the Nimbus in my room I'm gon' call up Chiney, I know the store manager over there (2x) If I can't find a Nimbus on Philippine's Island, I'll buy one in Ethiopia somewhere Copyright © 2003 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 03 - 01:31 AM Wow -- three homers in a row. I gotta say, that TGG sure has a flair for bringing out the best in bards, doesn't she? Wonder if she uses triple-As, too? :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 21 Mar 03 - 03:41 AM WOW!, a B.L.O.B.? For little (?) me? Well, I'd like to thank my parents, my agent, Amos for encouragement, Amazon,Camsco, Folklegacy, Redlick Records, CD Baby, Ray's Records Shop.......(rest drowned out by orchestra, recipient dragged offstage by Billy Crystal and Steve Martin) RtS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: MMario Date: 21 Mar 03 - 08:22 AM 'Till Her Daddy Takes the Batt'ry Away Well she got a Nimbus broom And she cruised through the bedroom alone now Seems she forgot all about her boyfriends Like she told her old man now And with the sound effects blasting Vibrating as just as fast as she can now And she'll have fun fun fun 'Til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away (Fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away) Well the girls can't stand her 'Cause she walks looks and drives in a fog now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) She makes the porno stars look like their all nuns now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) A lotta guys try to catch her But she leads them on a wild goose chase now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) And she'll have fun fun fun 'Til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away (Fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away) Well you knew all along That your dad was gettin' wise to you now (You shouldn't have lied now you shouldn't have lied) And since he took your die-hards You've been thinking that your fun is all through now (You shouldn't have lied now you shouldn't have lied) But you can come along with me 'Cause we gotta a lot of things to do now (You shouldn't have lied now you shouldn't have lied) And there'll be no fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away (Fun fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) And there'll be no fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away (Fun fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) (fun fun now that daddy took the Batt'ry away) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 21 Mar 03 - 08:43 AM A few more lines in similar vein to my posting above, and nothing now whatsoever to do with Áine's original challenge. Still if it raises a smile, eh? By the way ... this is not family material ... so if youi're easily offended, look away! My auntie Susie's a bit of a floozy And not very choosy it's said There's so many nicks in her bedpost She sleeps on the sofa instead And oul Andy Murray was in a great hurry To cure his great need for release For lubri-mi-cation he used embrocation And dollops of old axle grease When spring it has spring, the lads, amply-hung Get stirrings that set them on edge They'd damn nearly mate with a crack in a plate Or a hole in a holly-bush hedge Barney McCann was a terrible man For chasing the girls of the town Till he caught one one day and now people say That he's ruing the day she was found I saw your oul' da with Mrs McGrath She has tickling his wattly chin And my cousin Sally has got very pally With the husband of Sarah McGinn Oul' Lady H was feelin' the itch And it made her all sombre and solemn But the view made her gasp when she nestled her ass On top of the boul' Nelson's column Salome was veiled from napper to tail Her charms were discreetly hidden But when all was revealed and no longer concealed Her audience was mightily smitten Danny Moloney's scrawny and boney Not manly nor beefy nor hunky But the girls flock around when he's out on the town For Moloney is hung like a donkey The Fiddler Fagan's forever reneging On his lifetime fidelity vows For he's known to cavort at seaside resorts With a lady called Bernadette Howes The Reverend Mother set out to discover What made the novitiate smile She said "Where's the soap?" and yer one answered "Nope I use shower gel most of the time." Oul Mr Sweeney's a quare in-betweenie He likes the gasúr and the bean But he'll only sit down to black pudding If it's fried with an egg in the pan The trees are in leaf in the summer The grass it grows high and grows green And lusty young fellows are out in the meadows Along with their threshing machines As I was walking down Broadway I met with the black velvet band A watch she slipped out of her pocket And placed it all into my hand Says I "What's the point of this giving? Why make this chronomoter mine?" Says she "I fancy a dalliance And now you've got plenty of time" You've heard of my strapping young cousin By the name of Arthur McBride How one Christmas morning we wandered Along to the bonny seaside In search of a little adventure And the chance of a bit of a court But first we must deal with some soldiers Who got in the way of our sport And having prevailed and presided And stolen their store of bright coin Boul' Arthur he then decided To spend all the shillings in town We went to the stews and the sin-joints And spent the King's shilling free Then off to the pubs and the gin-joints And had us a hell of a spree |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 21 Mar 03 - 09:09 AM You all really know how to brush away the blues, don't ya!?! Here are the latest tossers - uh, I mean B.L.O.B.s to be tossed out for the best lyrical lines: To Clifton53 for the prophetic punch of: Well I sat there lookin' stupid, And I cursed my rotten fate And the wife and her broom flew around the room, She said " it's twenty years too late" To mousethief for smiley semi-sonnet: Cousin wants to use that broom awhile Cousin wants to use that broom awhile Cousin wants to use that broom awhile broom broom broom and for finding the right spot with: I'm gon' call up Chiney, I know the store manager over there I'm gon' call up Chiney, I know the store manager over there If I can't find a Nimbus on Philippine's Island, I'll buy one in Ethiopia somewhere To Tinker for the silly (and shameless): He's a regular rocket that fits in my closet NOBODY BEATS MY BOB When I get an itch it's a flick of the switch, A simple turn of the knob To Jack the Sailor (who's obviously been hanging out with Tinker!) for: You'd think that would be enough But she found some other stuff But she took my vasiline and my model submarine And her eyes just open wide When the Nautilus starts to dive To MMario, for creative gear-shifting with: Well the girls can't stand her 'Cause she walks looks and drives in a fog now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) She makes the porno stars look like they're all nuns now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) A lotta guys try to catch her But she leads them on a wild goose chase now (You walk in a dream, now you walk in a dream) And she'll have fun fun fun 'Til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away (Fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes the Batt'ry away) And to Aidan, although his song doesn't have anything to do with brooms, made me guffaw - as a woman who lives with four males in the house - with these oh-so-true lines: When spring it has spring, the lads, amply-hung Get stirrings that set them on edge They'd damn nearly mate with a crack in a plate Or a hole in a holly-bush hedge Phew! You guys are fantastic -- what you can do with just a bit of straw and a stick . . . on second thought, let's don't go there ;-) Well done, everyone!! --Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 03 - 10:48 AM Well, TGG, I heard the bishop say to the actress, "You bring the bit of straw, duck, I'll bring along the stick....". But you're right, let's don't go there! LO)L!! Great Challenge, m'dear -- you still have that TGG touch!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Clifton53 Date: 21 Mar 03 - 10:20 PM O'Cedar Smile (Illegal Smile, John Prine) When I woke up this mornin' I was full of gloom, My wife was up and raving, about her brand new broom, She said for me to pack my bags and leave, no joke, No longer was there any need for me, to poke, As I turned to go, movin' real slow, She screamed " Remember the Alamo" And you may see her tonight with an O'Cedar Smile With a hickory shaft it will last a long while " Oh I don't need no man to get my housework done, And sweepin' the floors is sure fun" Son of a gun I ain't no nun Pardon the pun Look at him run Out in the sun Clifton |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 22 Mar 03 - 10:20 AM "O'Cedar Smile", indeed, Clifton -- You got me rolling on the floor with that one! I'll never walk past the brooms in the grocery store with a straight face again!! And here's your well-deserved B.L.O.B. for these lines that will be well-remembered by posterity: She said for me to pack my bags and leave, no joke, No longer was there any need for me, to poke, As I turned to go, movin' real slow, She screamed " Remember the Alamo" Excellent songs, everyone! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Deda Date: 22 Mar 03 - 03:06 PM Shake, Little Nimbus to the tune of Shine Little Glow Worm Shake little Nimbus, shiver, shiver. Make me quake and quiver, quiver. Come on, Nimbus, let's go wander. Love's sweet voice is calling yonder. Shine little Nimbus, glimmer, glimmer. Hey, there don't get dimmer, dimmer. I'll climb aboard, you fly above. And lead us on to love! Glow little Nimbus, broom of fire. Turn up the power, higher, higher. Glow for the female of the species. Turn on the AC and the DC. This night could use a little action. So power up and let's get traction I know that you can make me glow, So go, little Nimbus, go. Glow little Nimbus, turn the key on. Your little motor sure turns me on. You got an action, Nimbus tootsie Sweeps me right off my little footsies. Kids, stay away, all age and sexes, This toy is rated triple Xes! I got a broom that I love so. Glow little Nimbus, glow. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Deda Date: 22 Mar 03 - 03:10 PM Oh, and PS Welcome Back, dear Aine! We miss these things! And no one else has your magic touch. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: MMario Date: 22 Mar 03 - 03:10 PM well done Deda! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Bradypus Date: 22 Mar 03 - 08:06 PM Tune: The Broom o' the Cowdenknowes The Bonny Hogwarts Broom How blithe was I, that morning to see While still in Muggle dress There on the platform at King's Cross – The Hogwarts Express! chorus Ah, my broom, my bonnie Hogwarts broom For pleasure or for pain Fain would I be back at Hogwarts school Astride my broom again The ecstasy it gives to me Fly high, or swooping low The sheer delight, both at morn and at night Mere Muggles will never know chorus That every girl should have such a broom To give what she desires On it to press, to relieve all the stress And light the inner fires! chorus No need for battery to vibrate There's magic in this place It never dies; for where'er the broom flies It lights up every face! line breaks fixed by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 22 Mar 03 - 08:25 PM Wow, Brady and Deda -- what a pair!! Way to go!! Deda I can hear Dinah Shore singing your song!! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 23 Mar 03 - 02:10 PM Deda: I am chortling at your song. I love it! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Genie Date: 23 Mar 03 - 09:40 PM Wunnerful, Deda! Ya still got that touch! Genie ;=D |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 26 Mar 03 - 06:16 PM Refresh!! Cowchips!!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Áine Date: 27 Mar 03 - 12:14 PM Here ya are (just call me 'Chips To Go'): To Deda, for this kinky lil' bit o' bull: Glow little Nimbus, broom of fire. Turn up the power, higher, higher. Glow for the female of the species. Turn on the AC and the DC And to Bradypus (hi there, darlin'!) for this bit worthy of your favourite bodice ripper: That every girl should have such a broom To give what she desires On it to press, to relieve all the stress And light the inner fires! Chips will be flung later this afternoon, promise. ;-) Well done all, Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Amos Date: 27 Mar 03 - 08:58 PM Well, Chips, at least you don't walk around with them on your shoulder! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Bo Vandenberg Date: 02 Apr 03 - 10:05 PM Combining two active threads Streets of Laredo and this challenge. With apologies to any and all. As I was a walking the streets of old London A walking in London one cold Winter Day I spied poor lady astried a small broostick Her exhausted lips moaned and these words she did say... Twas once in this saddle I used to sit daily Mount my great Nimbus, let it carry me away There was no greater stick either broom or Shillelagh Till its power was spent it would faithfully play chrs: It would vibrate most lowly both faster and slowly It suited my pleasure, it suited me fine A bored woman's Godsend my Nimbus Two-thousand. But the folk of Mattel, discontinued the line. When I had that rare itch, my own special Quiditch I played the seeker, my broom was my friend With deft hands I'd guide it, pretend that I fly it Till I found the Snitch and I won in the end. But parts made of plastic though oh so fantastic No longer transport me, what glories we've seen Now I'm left to burn it, I won't dare return it Mattel wouldn't take it, they know where its been. chrs: (slowly) Bo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Deda Date: 02 Apr 03 - 11:59 PM Hey, Bravo Sigurd! LOL!! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 91 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Apr 03 - 12:42 AM To the tune of the Beatles-You've got to hide your love away. Here I stand, broom in my hand Turnin' the lights down low. I can feel electricity and I start to glow. Everyday, I start this way, wondering where to sweep. If my batteries all run low You will hear me weep. Chorus; Hey, you got to hide your love away. Hey, it's in the broomcloset, every day. Satisfied myself today, Nimbus, you the man. Broom you are so good for me I know you understand. How can my son say to me mom, I want it back. Please my son,I'll trade anything, I'll even buy you a race track. Hey, you got to hide your love away Hey, it's in the broomcloset everyday. Peace. Rustic |
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