Free Gig

Subject: Free Gig in Cheshire
From: GUEST,IanN
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 07:07 AM

Shameless use of Mudcat for blatent advertising:

The Salt Town Poets will be performing thier unique mix of traditional & contemporary folk music & poetry at the Boar's Head Hotel in Middlewich on 9th April. The show begins at 8.30 and admission is free. Here's what the reknowned journal "Trendy Arts Mag" has to say:

WHENCE THE SALT TOWN POETS NOW?
by Anton Cringe
Whence the Salt Town Poets Now? And when I use the word 'whence' I fully realise that only arty types like me ever use the word, or even know what it means. What I am trying to say is: what next for the STPs?
Well, they intend to appear live at Middlewich's luxurious Boar's Head Hotel on April 9th, starting at 8pm.
We know that Ian Norbury has received offers to join the Rolling Stones, the Temptations and the Luton Girls' Choir; we know that Dave Roberts is terminally deranged, and that Professor Mike Parsons is 104 years old.
Why, then, have the STPs decided to appear once again phoenix-like from the ashes of Poetry & Pints ?
I went along to the Boar's Head Hotel in Middlewich (a small town near Cheshire, I'm told) to talk to them in an attempt to get at the truth.
Ian Norbury, nursing a pint of STRONGBOW™ cider, told me the reason for the comeback.
'We wanted to show everyone what we can do ourselves. We've spent years encouraging other people to perform, and It's easy to forget that we are a performing group in our own right.'
It is indeed.
Dave Roberts interjects.
'We're so glad to be able to talk to your magazine. It's so long since anyone took any notice of us that I, for one, was starting to get a little paranoid.
But I'm over all that now. Who are you? Who sent you? Why are you asking all these questions? Don't make any sudden moves.'
Professor Parsons introduces a note of authority, indeed gravitas, as befits the STPs 'elder statesman' - 'Don't forget that the kids of today have never experienced anything like the Salt Town Poets. They've had an easy life. In my day....'
Ian interrupts.
'Yes, we're determined to show everyone what we can do.'
And what of Poetry & Pints?
'It's gone for good. But soon we'll be announcing details of something with far more scope and range to replace it.'
I bought the three of them drinks; two pints of STRONGBOW™ and a brandy and metal-polish, and walked back to my car lost in thought.
Whence the Salt Town Poets now? They can only be moving in one direction. And I think we all know which...
AC

www.salttownpoets.co.uk

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 07:26 AM

"Whence the Salt Town Poets now?", from whence they always have been. Whence means "from what place", I believe they hailed from Middlewich and still do
God help us if this is the standard of English used by someone who purports to be a Poet and thus, one could reasonably expect, a wordsmith.

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: greg stephens
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 07:34 AM

Anton Cringe: the word you are groping for, I think, is "whither", not "whence".

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,IanN
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 08:10 AM

Please note the Salt Town Poets cannot be held responsible for articles or the contents thereof written about them. All complaints should be addressed to Anton Cringe c/o Trendy Arts Mag!

IanN ;-)

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,ANTON CRINGE
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 08:46 AM

Well, of course, you're right. It should have been 'whither'.
Serves me right for trying to be clever.
Hope no-one is going to lose any sleep over this.

AC

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,IanN
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 08:55 AM

Anton, my good man, didn't know you perused the pages of Mudcat. Thank you for your article. May I confirm that the Salt Town Poets, although aware of your grammatical inexactitudes, were not in the slightest bit offended. We look forward to seeing you soon. Perhaps at our concert on the 9th April at the Boar's Head Hotel, Middlewich, Cheshire (entrance is free).

Kindest Regards, Ian (on behalf of the STPs).

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 09:10 AM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Sleep restored

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,IanN
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 09:55 AM

Dear Guest

You started it.

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, STP website editor
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 10:19 AM

In order to resolve this major crisis in the world of literature I have taken the following remedial action:

On the STP website which is, need I remind you, on www.salttownpoets.co.uk, all instances of the the offending word in Mr Cringe's article have been amended to the correct 'whither' ('whence' has, so to speak, been sent whence it came).

Of course, this will not solve the problem as far as Trendy Arts Mag is concerned. I imagine they will want to recall every copy of the magazine and Tippex out all the offending 'whences', replacing them with 'whithers'(probably, knowing them, with quill pens).

As further proof of our good intentions we have invited Mr Anton Cringe along to a special meeting where he will be ritualistically beaten about the head with the Oxford English Dictionary.

Because, make no mistake, the confusing of two obscure English words which practically no-one ever uses anymore could bring about the fall of western civilisation.

Or. to put it more succinctly (if I've got the right word), lighten up.

Dave Roberts

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 10:54 AM

I use whence quite frequently, good old word, same meaning as thence. Hence it is not that obscure.

PS Whats this got to do with the original thread .............something about Poets caught my eye

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, STP website editor
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 11:54 AM

Ah but do you know what the word 'whither' means?
I think we all do now.Hardly likely to forget, really.
The origin of this thread was a valiant, but probably misguided, attempt to publicise the Salt Town Poets' comeback at the Boar's Head, Middlewich, Cheshire on April 9th at 8pm. Free admission.
See our website at www.salttownpoets.co.uk, whither I shall now return. Bye

DR

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,Antonio Sebastiano
Date: 27 Mar 03 - 12:58 PM

Hey,

Where did 'guest'(why no name, by the way?)get they crazy idea that because people are poets they must be good at English?
Most poets of my acquaintance can't string two or three words together.

AS

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,IanN (Salt Town Poets)
Date: 28 Mar 03 - 08:15 AM

And of course there's "poetic licence" which allows the misuse of words whencever one chooses!

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: greg stephens
Date: 28 Mar 03 - 08:39 AM

The very successful Mudcat publicising of the town of Hull9 is based on spelling and typographical (deliberate)mistakes. Do we see the first signs of a similar Midddlewich campaign, based on the provocative misuse of English words? So far, it seems to be proving very efective. See you at the Whore's Bed.

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,IanN
Date: 28 Mar 03 - 10:40 AM

You might have hit on something there Greg. Of course a stranger wandering through the streets of Middlewich couldn't fail to be astonished at the incredible number of people indulging in the practice of "Provocative Misuse of English Words". Must be the Magic Falling Over Water, sorry, bitter in the Boar's Head!

Outwith Middlewich I'm sure nothing of the sort goes on ;-)

Subject: RE: Free Gig
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts Salt Town Poets Website Head Hi
Date: 28 Mar 03 - 03:02 PM

I hope no-one is trying to accuse us of deliberately and provocatively using incorrect words in order to flush the Mudcat pedants out of the woodwork to gain cheap publicity for the return of the Salt Town Poets
live at the Boar's Head, Middlewich, Cheshire (M6 J18)on April 9th starting at 8pm.
Such a misuse of the media, and of the sacred English language would be tantamount to blasphemy.
I would go further - it could, conceivably, bring the STP's into disrespect.
And we can't allow that to happen

DR