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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 24 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM
Stilly River Sage 23 Apr 14 - 05:14 PM
Amos 23 Apr 14 - 02:45 PM
gnu 23 Apr 14 - 05:49 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 14 - 06:52 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 Apr 14 - 03:39 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 Apr 14 - 03:38 PM
Amos 22 Apr 14 - 12:02 PM
gnu 22 Apr 14 - 06:57 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 14 - 10:14 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 Apr 14 - 09:30 PM
Amos 21 Apr 14 - 04:29 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 Apr 14 - 04:08 PM
Amos 20 Apr 14 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM
Janie 20 Apr 14 - 12:19 PM
Amos 20 Apr 14 - 12:04 PM
gnu 20 Apr 14 - 06:30 AM
Amos 20 Apr 14 - 04:39 AM
Stilly River Sage 19 Apr 14 - 11:22 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 14 - 08:44 PM
gnu 19 Apr 14 - 01:59 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 Apr 14 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 14 - 09:42 AM
Amos 19 Apr 14 - 12:39 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 14 - 09:37 PM
gnu 18 Apr 14 - 05:26 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 Apr 14 - 01:25 PM
gnu 18 Apr 14 - 06:59 AM
Amos 18 Apr 14 - 12:16 AM
gnu 17 Apr 14 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 14 - 11:00 PM
Stilly River Sage 17 Apr 14 - 10:26 PM
Pete Jennings 17 Apr 14 - 12:56 PM
gnu 17 Apr 14 - 08:25 AM
Amos 16 Apr 14 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 14 - 09:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 16 Apr 14 - 11:54 AM
gnu 16 Apr 14 - 10:30 AM
Amos 16 Apr 14 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 14 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Apr 14 - 05:02 PM
Amos 15 Apr 14 - 04:07 PM
gnu 15 Apr 14 - 01:33 PM
Pete Jennings 15 Apr 14 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 14 - 10:22 AM
gnu 15 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 14 - 10:06 PM
gnu 14 Apr 14 - 01:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM

The chorus goes "Da dee DD dummm, Da-dee DAH dum, Da-dee DAH dum, da-dee DAH dum" 2x.

The verse is just reg'l'ar.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Apr 14 - 05:14 PM

What's the tune?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 14 - 02:45 PM

What--you didn't like the C&W song?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 14 - 05:49 AM

Taint that the truth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 14 - 06:52 PM

Notice that they are all old pix of LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 14 - 03:39 PM

That would be BEFORE Dylan's face sort of imploded from hard living.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 14 - 03:38 PM

Little Hawk seems to have blossomed lately - he's posting all sorts of photos of himself on facebook. I'm sure I'm not the only one to point out that he looks more than a little like Bob Dylan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 14 - 12:02 PM

Advicwe from a country singer:

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
On the big screen
Keep your taint clean anyway.

When I was just a little sprat my Mom would tell me son
There are no certain rules to win this life you have begun
There's good folks and there's bad folks
And some are just plain mean
But I know your life will go much better
If you keep that taint place clean.

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
'Til your late teens
Keep your taint clean anyway.

Well I pretty much ignored my Mom, and her crazy old belief
I always used deodorant and mostly brushed my teeth
And the kids in grade school liked me, 'cuz they thought that I was bold
And I never gave a thought when young to what happened in the fold.
But Moma said:

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
On the big screen
Keep your taint clean anyway.

But when I became a teenager, I fell for Sally Payne
She taught me lots about good love, I nearly went insane.
When she told me it was over, I felt all crushed and faint
And I asked her what had happened and she told me "It's your taint"

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
'Til the love scene
Keep your taint clean anyway.

Well that was fifteen years ago, and now I have a boy
He's just as smart as anything, the perfect lady toy.
And when he asks me for advice, to lead him to success
I must admit I don't know much, about how to dine or dress

But I tell him…

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
On the big screen
Keep your taint clean anyway.

So if you're looking for a clue toy get along in life
To understand the way to please a girlfriend or a wife
Although its often out of sight, and spends its days unseen
Your chance for love will come to nought
If you don't keep your taint clean.

Keep your taint clean
Keep your taint clean
If it ain't clean
It's a mean scene, they say.
Though it ain't seen
On the big screen
Keep your taint clean anyway..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 14 - 06:57 AM

I prefer Correlle plates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 14 - 10:14 PM

I wondered about that. Been out most of the day and just saw it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Apr 14 - 09:30 PM

Chongo better watch his back - Songwronger started a thread in his name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 14 - 04:29 PM

Rapparee:

I have never seen a more touching rendition of True Confessions. Your courage in posting such a link is truly notable. I had no idea you had all that in you.

Warm regards,

A
Eeeeeyyoooododeedleoooh....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Apr 14 - 04:08 PM

With the warmer weather here lately the dogs don't always head indoors when it starts to rain. I found myself giving scratches behind rather damp ears yesterday. And why is it they're all the more affectionate when they are wet and stinky?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 11:41 PM

SHall do, sweetie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM

And here is an Easter gift for Amos!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 12:19 PM

Dang, Amos. When next you see E and B, give the first a hug and the second a scratch behind the ears from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 12:04 PM

This is a gift for Raparree:

Louvin Brothers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 06:30 AM

What a glorious sunny Sunday morn. 10C today with no wind. And no dried out over-spiced ham.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 14 - 04:39 AM

I think fracking is kinda dumb, me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 11:22 PM

And I have mouthed the phrase "frack Texas" a few times also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 08:44 PM

gnu, I've often said something very similar to "frack Idaho."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 01:59 PM

MY HOUSE? Invite that bunch of arrogant, ignorant, ungrateful... you get the pic.

Rap... yer getting fracked with them there earth quakes. Google 'frack idaho'. Here's one snippet... "Meanwhile, Ohio has also seen increased reports of earthquakes, which geologists have linked to fracking operations – which involve blasting highly pressurized water, sand, and other chemicals into rock in order to free up oil. Since waste is sometimes disposed along fault lines, scientists believe the procedure could instigate earthquakes.

It's currently unclear if Idaho's seismic activity is related to oil or gas gad production, though residents have expressed concern over such operations in the past. As geologists continue to investigate the cause, local schools have increased response drills and area officials have requested emergency personnel to be on alert in case anything dangerous were to occur."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 11:56 AM

Somehow I missed, or have forgotten those stories, gnu. SiL must have a cast iron gut if she can eat her own food, or hasn't put one and one together by now? Painful to contemplate sitting down at her table. You'll have to beat her to the punch and start inviting them over for family meals before she has time to start contemplating a menu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 09:42 AM

Sweet potatoes. It's sweet potatoes.

Challis, Idaho and the surrounding area is experiencing so many (small) earthquakes that the USGS has moved portable seismographs there. A hillside in Jackson, WY is slowing slip-slidin' away. Forces That We Ken Not Of are gettin' ready to bust loose like a bull in a chute in a rodeo. And now the Moon has been replaced by a Death Star that is shooting green rays at Earth.

But it IS Spring and I have both tulips and daffydills blooming and the forsythia looks like a yellow explosion in back yard. Resurrexit iternum, sicut locutus est illis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 14 - 12:39 AM

IShtar has risen, glory be to Mom! WE aren't hunting for eggs, going to Church, or baking a ham this year. No younkers in-house and no religionists to cater. A mellow Sunday with friends is all I ask, to rejoice in new life by going to visit the baby gorilla recently arrived at the Safari Park animal reserve nearby.

Besides I read about one lady was hunting easter eggs with her special-needs lad, and she found a dead tramp under her porch. Ain't that a kick in the head.

Ne'er the less for those who thing Spring should be an occasion for divine adulation, merriest of all Easter be yours.

I shall sip single malt and contemplate the renewal of life forces escaping the bitter clutch of winter once again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 14 - 09:37 PM

Gee, and our Easter dinner will be corn-cob smoked ham, artichokes with Hollandaise or mayonnaise and something else I've forgotten. It's coming together rather slowly, as I'm still lamed up and Pat's setting up a quilt show starting next Thursday (y'all are invited to the show).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 14 - 05:26 PM

Gosh. I thought SiL's cooking was matter-of-fact to most. I have posted about it many times at Mudcat. It'll get you after the fact. Takes about 20 minutes. Not the spices. The spices will linger... until tomorrow. But the fact that she soaks... SOAKS... the veggies in the cheapest margarine available and is disgusting. Even the spuds must have an immeasurable amount of margarine and milk blended into them, whipped to a frothy foment of alimentary canal spasm inducing volatility with an electrically powered mixer such that my colon and, more so, my anal sphincter shudder at the very thought. The heartburn from the spices is unavoidable unless one arrives with a doggy bag and pleads 'diet'. I ran this past Mum prior to one dinner and she forbade me to do so but let me in on her Zantac secret.

Over the years, SiL... well.. an example will best suit. She asked me for Aunt Charmaine's recipe for tomatoe chow. It was actually MeMere's recipe. I was fed the resulting chow on Thanksgiving. WTF? (Of course, I didn't say it out loud.) She explained that she had improved upon the recipe. She gave Mum and me 2 mason jars each. I was tasked with destroying the contents, cleaning the jars and returning them at a later date. She has always 'improved' others' recipes and explained why her recipe was far superior. I am sure you get the total pic now.

Just one more comment. My old man said it back in the 70s... "She couldn't parboil shit for a tramp."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Apr 14 - 01:25 PM

!!! Her cooking must be remarkable! Is it difficult to eat the meal, or does it have a more subversive effect and clobber you after-the-fact?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 14 - 06:59 AM

Sounds like a glorious outing, A.

Indeed, it is a great Friday. We learned yesterday that SiL is embarking upon a journey to Ontario to help her sister move into an apartment so.... no Easter supper at SiL's! The Lord, thank Dog, does work in mysterious ways.

I wonder if the pharmacy will take back the Zantac I just bought if I explain why I won't need it until Thanksgiving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 14 - 12:16 AM

Yesterday, in addition to putting all the furniture back, I greeted a fried who came to visit, having recently moved here from North Carolina, with her large and mature Golden,and we piled into her car with Maggie and Bella in the back and roared off to Dog Beach, where the mighty Pacific crashes into the galloping stream of the San Diego River. The whole beach between them is open to free-running dogs. We came back an hour later dripping and happy, and Maggie paid her bath-penance without complaint.

She's a fine dog--well-mannered, courteous, considerate, cooperative, but with all the right instincts when the situation demands them. I think we were lucky to cross trails with such a fine ambassador from the wild world of canininity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 14 - 11:07 PM

No. No. That wouldn't be right. Not at all. No comment. Don't. Go read another thread. Go to bed. Just don't.

Okay.

gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 14 - 11:00 PM

She's stuck with Amos -- same deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Apr 14 - 10:26 PM

Definitely with you about your cousin's news - good luck it was discovered. And Amos, I'm sure the varnish was dry so BBW doesn't have that bench stuck to her butt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 17 Apr 14 - 12:56 PM

Me too, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 14 - 08:25 AM

I am wit A on wishes for yer cous, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 11:21 PM

The best discoveries often are; may he heal surprisingly.

BBW is very happy with her new sitting-downen-place, and the furniture is all resotred to its former distribution. Whoooof!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 09:33 PM

And now, something different.

The torture has begun. I had my second PT appointment today.

I just hung up the phone from talking to one of my first cousins, who is having surgery next Tuesday. He has cancer in his sinuses and the surgeons MAY have to go so far as to remove some of the dura and scrape the back of his skull. A neurosurgeon will be standing by in the OR in case he's needed. The surgery will be at the St. Louis U. School of Medicine Hospital; he'll be getting the best treatment around. The discovery was a fluke, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 11:54 AM

The Parting Glass.

"as the sating goes" - conjures much more than cleaning carpets and moving furniture!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 10:30 AM

Nice work, A. Damn that brought tears to my eyes some fast, Rap... had to stop it quick like because the damn nosebleeds are back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 09:43 AM

A shockwave has rippled through Mom's halls. Go in peace, John, and come back as a slide guitar artist.

Yesterday the carpets throughout the house were cleaned and scotchgarded. Today I have to move all the furniture back in. I do not look forward to this.

But Mom's sons and daughters must do what Mom's daughters and sons must do, as the sating goes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 14 - 09:42 AM

Another for John In Kansas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM

For JiK, who will be missed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 05:02 PM

A moment of silence, please. I think perhaps JohnInKansas strayed into the MOAB a time or three. We learned this morning that our great Tech Explainer passed away last week. Someone hand MOM the Kleenex box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 04:07 PM

It has three legs, Rapparree. Your inability to count legs means you will never qualify as a real cattle baron. They know the size of their herds by counting legs and dividing by four.

Here's the completed corner-bench. As promised to Mom and her devout followers everywhere. Even in Pocatello, as which there really is no such place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 01:33 PM

I doubt if Mom caught anything from any loggers. Oh, maybe she got non-gonococcus urethritis from wearing a pair of coloured underwear she borrowed from a logger but I can't, and wouldn't wanna, see her catching anything. That's what happened to me on the coast of Labrador. Well, it was either the coloured underwear or the scented soap, as the doc explained to me. Nuthin ta do with the barmaid with the big ah, er, elbows.

Then again, I never told him about the barmaid. Not that I was embarrassed, mind. I just didn't remember for a while because the Newfies kept ordering black rum and I was just learning how to get three sheets to the wind. It's a very good story that involves what I THOUGHT were flashes of lightning while a heavy rain was pounding down. It's in my pending book, tentatively titled "Construction Camp Confessions". It's in the chapter titled "Tetracycline Time".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 10:49 AM

Loggerhythms?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 10:22 AM

Well, stuff she got from Canadian loggers. You remember -- it took a good month of antibiotics to clear it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM

Canadians?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 14 - 10:06 PM

A fine thing! I go away for a few hours of physical therapy and find Mom down in some bunkhouse in Vancouver! Well, I hope she didn't bring back any...well, you know...like the last time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 14 - 01:04 PM

I mind one time... July 4 in the mid 80s... I was camped next to the Nepisiguit at Popple Depot and there was a thick frost. Another time, August 10. The Nepisiguit runs out of some fairly big Appalachians and is spring fed nearby so the fishing was good. There is a wardens' camp opposite the (then) primative 'campgound'. I used to get up at dawn and catch trout for brekky, wait until the wardens went up the road to do some wardening and get back to fishing. I could only stay in the river 15 to 20 minutes as my legs would be so numb that it was hard to walk. By noon, it would be so hot that skeeters couldn't fly.


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