Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeetta

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 Aug 16 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 16 - 09:52 AM
Donuel 03 Aug 16 - 08:46 AM
Little Hawk 03 Aug 16 - 08:38 AM
Amos 03 Aug 16 - 01:37 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 16 - 10:55 PM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 16 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 16 - 08:57 AM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 16 - 08:09 AM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 16 - 08:04 AM
gnu 01 Aug 16 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 16 - 10:52 PM
Acme 01 Aug 16 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 16 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Aug 16 - 08:21 PM
Amos 01 Aug 16 - 06:02 PM
Acme 01 Aug 16 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 16 - 09:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 16 - 04:12 PM
gnu 31 Jul 16 - 03:22 PM
gnu 31 Jul 16 - 02:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 16 - 11:28 AM
Donuel 31 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 16 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 16 - 08:38 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 04:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 16 - 03:48 PM
Acme 30 Jul 16 - 03:36 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 01:52 PM
Donuel 30 Jul 16 - 01:11 PM
Amos 30 Jul 16 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 12:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 16 - 05:48 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 05:46 PM
Donuel 29 Jul 16 - 03:05 PM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 02:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jul 16 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 16 - 09:35 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 09:12 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 08:05 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jul 16 - 07:00 AM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 05:19 AM
Amos 28 Jul 16 - 08:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jul 16 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 16 - 08:21 PM
gnu 28 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 09:55 AM

Come to think of it, Chong' could simply open the sunroof, stand up, and steer with her/his feet! That would free the hands for shooting! Or even steer with the tail inherited from his/her howler monkey father and shoot with both hands and feet!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 09:52 AM

LH, wouldn't it be simpler to remove the windshield (windscreen)? Or mount the gun under the hood of the car and fire it remotely from inside the passenger compartment?

Chong' is following some baddies and they start shooting at him. He lines up the hood and presses the button on the handle of the emergency brake and BAM! BAM! Shots from the two 454 Casull* caliber revolvers mounted under the hood (bonnet) fire through holes under the hood (bonnet) ornament and crash into the baddies' car! BAM! BAM! Two more leaden slugs of death and the front car skids off the road and (for some reason) explodes into a ball of fire! Chong' pulls over, sees there are no survivors, takes a bad of bank loot that was ejected from the smoldering wreck, and drives off sucking on a Scotch-flavored lollipop.



*.454 Casull: the Casull round uses a small rifle primer rather than a pistol primer, because it develops extremely high chamber pressures of over 60,000 CUP (copper units of pressure) (410 MPa), and needs a significantly stronger cup than a pistol primer. The .454 Casull is one of the most powerful handgun cartridges in production. It can deliver a 250 grain (16 g) bullet with a muzzle velocity of over 1,900 feet per second (580 m/s), developing up to 2,000 ft-lb (2.7 kJ) of energy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 08:46 AM

What is Chongo doing in this time of the great Exodus of chimps from private labs into the "world" of relative freedom?

Gnu some dyslexics find it hard to resist poetry for prose. I was once surprised when someone had pointed out I had posted a complete and correct sonnet. Consciously I did not know the rules. The last dyslexic poet to win a Pulitzer was in 2008.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-advantages-of-dyslexia/

Rapparee You could write the screenplays for the kind of movies I would love to see if they combined real swamp people, erudite genius' and sci fi.

still in awe after all these years regarding Amos consciousness.

Bee the rules of writing are enlightening but separate from the lightening destinations of consciousness.



(a 12 second stream of BS consciousness but a 15 minute translation into words)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 08:38 AM

Any sentient being (with the possible exception of yourself) knows exactly what I mean when I say that Chongo fires off "a full clip", Rap, so don't waste my time with your petty nitpicking of words and phrases, okay?

And...he fires the gun with his right hand...while steering with his left. The right arm reaches across in front of him...pointing the gun out the window...and he fires. Dead simple. And a soon to be dead target too, most likely.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 01:37 AM

The sad tedium of picking nits has risen to heights of esteem and ill-earned repute in this sorry hovel.

Go thou, cousin Rapp, and make Mom breakfast instanter, with stome-ground six-grain Maine blueberry muffins.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 16 - 10:55 PM

"...can fire off a full clip from the driver side window...."

A clip? A clip or a magazine? A magazine has a spring and a follower, as you can see, while a clip does not. A clip is pretty useless without a magazine, unless you a) throw it at someone or b) bang on it with a rock until the cartridges go off (possibly taking your hand along).

And I assume, living in the US and/or Canada, Chong' must be left handed and left eye dominant if accuracy is to mean anything.

As for Shame, I doubt that he can differentiate between right and left. I understand he used to think of clean and dirty until he became so filthy it didn't matter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 16 - 10:42 PM

See, that's what I mean. You seemingly have no respect for either Chongo or Shane! This is soooo hard to believe.

Mind, you, in Shane's case....well, yes, I can see some justification for not entirely respecting him...

But in Chongo's case? Good lord, man, what could you be thinking? Chongo is a noble example of all that is good in primates. He leaves most humans in the dust. He wears cool clothing and always carries a gun. He drives a car with running boards, and can fire off a full clip from the driver side window while steering at breakneck speeds with the other hand.

He dates slinky women and works out at the local gym.

He has read all the Philip Marlowe tales.

He doesn't play video games.

What is not to like and admire about this remarkable ape???? Hmm? Tell me. You can't do it, can you? You're at a loss for words.

That's right, just slink off and admit you were wrong to ever diss Chongo Chimp. Just deal with it, okay?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 16 - 08:57 AM

LH, it doesn't matter. I'm used to that word, "No." I've heard it all my life. "No, you can't have any more gruel! We're poor and you know you have to share your gruel with your brothers and sister!" "No, I'm afraid you don't deserve a better grade. I gave you an F because I can't go any lower." "No, you didn't make the team and never try out again!" "No, you didn't qualify on the rifle range and you're on KP for the rest of your time in the Army!" "NO! And get your hands off my knees!" "No, you drank the last of it last night." "No, you don't deserve a raise!" "NO! And get out of my office!" That's only some of it. Rejection is a natural to me as hermaphroditism is to Chongx or sleeping in a puddle he made is to Shame.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 16 - 08:09 AM

I agree, by the way, that Samuel Clemens was a superb writer, probably the best of his time.

I haven't read any of James Fenimore Cooper's prose yet (aside from Classics Illustrated comics versions of his books). I guess I've really missed out on something there, eh? :)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 16 - 08:04 AM

I have an answer to one of several questions you asked way back there, Rap. The answer is...

No.

Now see if you can figure out which question it was. :)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 11:21 PM

I just read poetry that even the author of which may not realize is poetry. To me, at least, it was, as I say, poetry. I shan't explain. Even the author would balk at my claim, should I name, the author.

gnightgnu

I harvested a cherry tomatoe today! More are ripening! And, I have Roma 'maters coming!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 10:52 PM

I don't see a problem. Instead of a giant skating screen under-ice printers could print out new pages and gently slide them into position under the ice. If the paper ever filled up the ice rink the font size could be reduced; when it becomes too small to read even by hockey players with their face being ground into the ice the ice could either be ground to a magnifying lens or replaced with such a lens. Max would probably fork over the money to do this.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 10:37 PM

I also think that's an excellent idea. I saw some obsolete technology in my workplace last week, micro-printing that is intended to be put under a magnifying glass to read. They wanted to save space, many documents in one box, but as large as MOAB is, I believe a regular 12 point font (Times New Roman) on standard margins and 8.5 x 11" paper would be perfect under the ice of a hockey rink.

Be sure it's an environmentally friendly printer cartridge, soy vs whatever ink. When the ice melts I don't want to hear about dead salmon in nearby creeks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 09:01 PM

I think that's an excellent idea! But perhaps it should be a giant screen so they could be kept up to date. Besides, hockey players need lots of big letters and small words.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 08:21 PM

Do you think one of those Zamboni printers could print the entire contents of the MOAB on the floor of a hockey rink, and then cover it in ice so the hockey players could read it whenever they take a break from beating the shit out of each other?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 06:02 PM

I sing of bullshit, wide and deep
Whose warmest heart recoils at fear
Which sprang full-formed, (and wrapped in beer)
From proud young Taurus' steaming flank.
A bold relief, the pride of man
That on the heated soil now stands
Between the bovines massive feet,
While 'round it cherubs do repeat:
"There is some shit I will not eat."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 16 - 01:43 PM

Staples isn't a "real" printer. They print the most commonplace sizes and styles of documents. Go to a real printer - most of them have digital presses now that are the size of a zamboni and can do small runs on all sorts and sizes of paper at a reasonable price.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 09:38 PM

Now o'er one half the Mudcat bullshit seems dead
And wicked facts abuse that troubled sleep.
Too many celebrate pale Aletheia's offerings,
And the withered Pseudologoi,
Alarmed by their sentinel the bull
Whose feces are their watch,
With Dolos' ravishing strides,
Moves like a ghost!
Oh, thou sure and firm-set dungheap!
Hear not my facts which way they wend
For fear the very plops prate of my truthlessness!

(A loud flatulation is heard)

I go, and it is done -- the flatus invites me!
Hear it not, for it is a bell
That summons thee to heaven -- or to someplace else.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 04:12 PM

The quality of bullshit is not strain'd,
It ploppeth as huge turds from a bull's anus
Upon the grass beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that shiteth and him that's shat upon....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 03:22 PM

Oh. Yeah. I was gonna post about the fact that I saw the movie "The Deer Slayer" and didn't care for it. Or was that "The Deer Hunter"? Anyway, even though Christopher Walken was in it, I still didn't like it. Then, someone started talking about bullshit and, of course, my inner bullshitter couldn't resist.

Who doesn't like Christopher Walken? De Niro is in it too and he's kinda a good actor but he ain't no Walken. You can act batshit crazy or you can be batshit crazy and still act... ya kno-oooow?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 02:41 PM

Well, it stands also for brilliant shit. Not just common bullshit. The bullshit herein strives to be brilliant shit. Primo bullshit. Now, some may argue that common bullshit is true art by true bullshit artists. To each his own, says I. In this hallowed forum, the question "What is folk?" has oft been asked and discussed to no avail, to no conclusion. Such is the same for bullshit. Bullshit herein is in the eye and mind of the reader, and is in the mind and the keyboard of the bullshitter.

Staples Business Depot can only produce copies of documents up to 2' wide. What kinda bullshit is that? "For all your business needs"? Bullshit!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 11:28 AM

Don, thanks for the compliment. But the secret to creating clear and meaningful* writing is simple: just imagine what James Fenimore Cooper would do, and then do the opposite.


* Bear in mind that "meaningful" within the context of The Mother of All BS Threads is not necessarily a meaningful term. After all, "BS" doesn't stand for "brilliant storytelling".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM

WOw Bee,
I easily get lost in the world of words but you open the canopy and show me where I am like a sunbeam.
Of all the trees in the woods of words&streams, you are in the top three.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 08:59 AM

Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses by Mark Twain


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 08:38 AM

Reminds me of Natty Bumpo silently stalking through the forest primeval with a woman he's just rescued, at great peril, and he's lost. Yes! Leatherstocking is LOST! And then...then...a cannonball comes rolling along. Obviously it's at the end of its journey but! our hero follows its path back to the fort! Natty Bumpo is the only human being who could follow a track through rocks, mud, snow, slush, quicksand AND THROUGH THE AIR!!

As for Charles "Chuckles" Dickens, well, improbable is a good word. Come on! Dave Copperfield falls in with a school for thieves and doesn't want any part of it...and Fagin doesn't off the self-righteous little bugger to keep the school secret? Granted, Chuckles did at least visit the slums he wrote about.

Scrooge realizes that he's gonna croak one day and nobody will give a shit, so he reforms his greedy ways and all is sweetness and light? His heirs would have had him locked up as non compis mentes, and if not his heirs then society in general! Raving on about ghosts and all!

I shan't go into the details of "Silas Marner" (son of the Ancient Marner), Bulwer-Lytton's stuff (except that Snoopy made good use of it, "Heart of Darkness," "Jude the Obscure," and the rest of the 19th Century novelists (except Sam Clemens, probably the best writer of the 19th and 20th Centuries).

Let's face it: If it hadn't been required reading would you have read it at all, much less finished it? Don't you wish you'd read "Ulysses" or "Cien aos de soledad" or even (God help us!) "Tropic of Cancer"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM

It simply reflected (quite accurately, I think) the state of mind of people in that society at that time, Rap. That WAS the way they thought about single young men and women, and love, and marriage. Therefore, I think it makes an interesting look at an interesting time.

Now...if it were set in our present era, well...

"He's like, soooo you know...and then I'm like, whatever. Like, give me a break? I'm like, why don't you just...like..."

Now THAT's vacuity!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM

The best version of That Novel I ever saw was when my friend Steve burned his copy.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve."

"A girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then.
It is something to think of"

"He is a gentleman, and I am a gentleman's daughter. So far we are equal."

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

Gad! Vacuous indeed! Worse in some ways than Dickens! But then, there's always "Northanger Abbey." And the "Confessional of the Black Penitents"!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 04:36 PM

Wow. That must have been quite a sight.

Acme - I really liked the Keira Knightly version of "Pride and Prejudice", but I haven't seen the version with with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth, so I cannot compare the two. (I really like most of Keira Knightly's films.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 03:48 PM

I planted some flat stones earlier today, myself. Okay, they weren't really stones. They were ruined kiln shelves. One of my kilns didn't turn off automatically like it should have and went to some ridiculously high temperature, probably north of 2500F. Everything in the firing just sorta collapsed into a mishmash of blistered pots and warped and broken kiln furniture. First time I've ever used a hammer and crowbar to unload a kiln. The shelves found a new use as pothole repair agents.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 03:36 PM

Been away for a while, MOM - it's a saga in and of itself, but one that probably shouldn't be told until after retirement.

BWL, everyone knows that the best screen version of Pride and Prejudice is with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. The film you mentioned as Knightly smiling rather too vacuously too much of the time. And even if there are a couple of non-novel invented scenes in the Ehle/Firth version, it's still the best.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 01:52 PM

Thanks for reminding me of "Chinga's" sordid origins, Amos. It may be the single worst thing you have ever done in your life.   :D


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 01:11 PM

Brother gnu, indeed the Bible is indispensable. We would not eat if it were not for the benefits of the Bible. Our dining table is missing a ball and claw and our bible is the precise thickness needed. COINCIDENCE ? impossible.. Our Bible was created precisely to bless our table.


(the effect of window dirt on acoustic laser sound detectors)

a thicker book than 'famous trump charities'


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 12:48 PM

I am going to plant flat stones in a pathway. That will make life bearable, for sure.

And just as a reminder for the record, while Chongo Chimp was indeniably brought forth by the revered Little Hack, his sister Chinga was my own contribution to our local zoo fo characters.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 12:07 PM

What we need is a really comprehensive book on freebasing peanuts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 05:48 AM

Yes, "Theoretical Mathematics of the Dirt From Unclean Windows" is the definitive work in its field, much as "Spectro-Sonographic Analysis of the Sound of Distant Toilets" is in its own.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM

Not my foundation. That's probably why it's all cracked and sheared and fallen in. Only my foundation garments hold it together. That and glue.

We had our windows cleaned inside and out today. First time in the 13 years we've been here that all of them have been done at the same time. The guy doing it said something about dirt and how some of it was left in big piles on the ground. He's writing a book about it, something like "Theoretical Mathematics of the Dirt From Unclean Windows." It promises to be a dirty book.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 05:46 PM

"valuable reading". Indeed. Your very foundation depends on the The Bible. Those that do not follow The Bible are doomed to shear failure underneath their very footings. Why, even the very towers we eat Pizza in can slip shearly into a list which makes for great tourist pictures but which will eventually fail at a critical angle, beyond which only engineers with their grout and determination can shore up the bases and prevent a tragedy.

As for the water wars? Locked and load, baby. The Energy East Pipeline is gonna rock your socks. Try drilling after that fucks up. Water is connected. Fuck up the surface waters of the largest source of fresh water on earth and you fuck most of NA. Energy East also has the ability to fuck up the eastern coast of the US and beyond.

Keystone XL? Small potatoes when it comes to destroying the water in NA. I could go on for hours. Dilbit? Fracking? I haven't the time. We need solar, wind and geothermal... yesterday.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 03:05 PM

gnu, Sounds like valuable reading.
You might know if

the books by Dr. Brown regarding the hazards of drilling and draining ground water globally, hold water?
He seems to portray very dire consequences.
Is he an oil industry target or pioneer?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 02:13 PM

Pffft! Read a real book like "Theoretical Soil Mechanics" by Our Father Who Art in Dirt, Karl von Terzaghi, cw 1943, ISBN 0 471 85305 4. It is my "bible" and I have followed it's teachings faithfully since I saw the late night light as a young student of engineering those many years ago. What Mohr could a Christian Otto ask for than a book of mathematical relations and revelations? We all end up in the dirt. Geotechnical engineers just get dirtier than others. And they write masterpieces. Peck that apart.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 12:43 PM

Well, I have an excuse for not reading Pride and Prejudice. I was taking too many lit classes and the reading load was rather overpowering. I needed to have two Shakespeare plays, three Canterbury Tales, Moby Dick, The Brothers Karamazov, and Pride and Prejudice all read by the end of the week and there was no way it was going to happen. So, I wrote the titles on slips of paper, put them all in a hat, and picked the loser.

I have seen the 2005 film version of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet. In the event Winona Ryder is not available to play Chinga in the film version of Rap's saga, Ms Kightley would do quite nicely. I greatly enjoyed not seeing her in the second and third films in the Pirates of the Caribbean series. The first one was enough of that shit.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:35 AM

Awright, just for that I'm not going to vote in the next Canadian election! Just suck on THAT for a while, smart boy!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:12 AM

I've been not-reading Rap's amazing stories for many years now, and I feel that it has done me a lot of good. Kind of like not-shopping at WalMart. Or not-attending the monster truck rally and the demolition derby. And not-voting in USA elections. Heh! Heh!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 08:05 AM

By the way, I have the same reaction to Robert Ludlum, Clive Cussler, and James Patterson as you do. I've never read a thing by any of them.

I figure this is partly due to...

A. ...my fine taste in literature, my ongoing search for REAL quality as opposed to vapid generic filler, and my generally keen sense of what is worthwhile and what is not.

and B.   On the other hand...(grin)...it could be because I'm a pretentious snob who thinks he's smarter than the common herd. (Well, in truth...I am smarter than the common herd...)

Yeah, it's probably a combination of A and B above.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM

Yeah, but....you have NOT read "Pride and Prejudice"?????????

WTF is wrong with you?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 07:00 AM

By the way, lest feelings be hurt due to my gushing over Rap's derivative "Chonga" saga as superior non-reading material, please rest assured that I've long enjoyed not reading the non-derivative adventures of Little Hawk's various fevered imaginings as well.

I hold Little Hawk's efforts in the same high regard as those of Robert Ludlum, Clive Cussler, and James Patterson. Each time I visit my local library I pass over books written by those gentlemen with genuine pleasure and savor the experience of having not read them for many weeks.

Little Hawk should be proud to be not read in such illustrious company. I only wish he would release a compilation of his best work as an audio-book so I may not listen as well.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 05:19 AM

Prime... as in prime rib, primo, good stuff and all that, eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:33 PM

I applaud Sir Rapp's dynamic, boldly-figured fictions. I always have. All of 'em.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:27 PM

Rap, pay no attention to those who belittle your efforts. Your saga is by far the best thing I have not read since not reading Pride and Prejudice.

I can hardly wait for the film version to come out so I can stay home and not go see it.

Unless you can get Winona Ryder to play Chinga. That I'd pay to see.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:21 PM

Sorry, gnu. 54821 is not prime -- it's 13 x 4217.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM

I agree. No more monkeys.

BTW... that was a prime post.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 24 January 6:11 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright 1998 by the Mudcat Caf Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.