Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeetta

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Jul 16 - 11:32 AM
Amos 11 Jul 16 - 01:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 16 - 10:11 PM
gnu 10 Jul 16 - 09:29 PM
Amos 10 Jul 16 - 09:03 PM
gnu 10 Jul 16 - 08:13 PM
gnu 10 Jul 16 - 07:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 16 - 06:48 PM
gnu 10 Jul 16 - 04:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jul 16 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 16 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 16 - 10:48 PM
Amos 09 Jul 16 - 08:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 16 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 16 - 09:14 AM
Amos 09 Jul 16 - 01:37 AM
Acme 09 Jul 16 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 16 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 16 - 08:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 16 - 07:34 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 16 - 11:39 PM
gnu 07 Jul 16 - 05:35 PM
Amos 07 Jul 16 - 11:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 16 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 16 - 10:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 16 - 06:57 AM
Amos 07 Jul 16 - 02:04 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 16 - 11:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 16 - 11:06 PM
Amos 06 Jul 16 - 09:02 PM
gnu 06 Jul 16 - 07:01 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 16 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 16 - 08:26 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 16 - 04:59 AM
Amos 06 Jul 16 - 03:26 AM
Rapparee 05 Jul 16 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 16 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 16 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jul 16 - 02:00 PM
gnu 05 Jul 16 - 01:04 PM
Acme 05 Jul 16 - 12:34 PM
MMario 05 Jul 16 - 08:22 AM
Rapparee 04 Jul 16 - 06:53 PM
keberoxu 04 Jul 16 - 06:37 PM
Amos 04 Jul 16 - 06:01 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jul 16 - 04:45 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 16 - 11:32 AM

I think a post of mine went walkabout - during the skimpy posting of the weekend MOM was above the line, but barely.

I made bread last night - the house smells wonderful this morning! Sammiches for lunch.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 16 - 01:36 AM

Fear is a really weird fluid, kinda like Silly Putty. Squeeze it in one place and it pops up in another. No rhyme or reason to it. If there were reason to it, it wouldn't be fear. See?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM

There are probably 20 or so road signs on the road where I live. They're all shot full of holes except for two that say "Church". It's like the local rednecks aren't scared of the sheriff's deputies who'd bust 'em for shooting speed limit signs, but they're afraid they'll go to Hell for shooting holes in the ones that belong to Jesus.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 10:11 PM

'Sides, it keeps them Yanks from finding us when they come invade us the neks time.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 09:29 PM

I was called, in disdain from some offended Cash fans, Johnny Cashed one night about forty years ago at a pub. Played/sang Burning Ring Of Fire. My cover lyrics... about chili and hemorrhoids. No sense of humour had those southerners from Albert County, NB. You think YOU got rednecks "down south". These folks take a chainsaw to all the road signs and use em fer bonfires. "Listen up, boy... if you don't know where you are, y'all shouldn't be here!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 09:03 PM

That's a very fine voice indeed.

My son called to report that a new friend of his, a pretty girl, had been looking up his Facebook links and had been gushing about my videos. Called me Johnny Cash. I suppose that is a compliment, really! :D

Mom, do you think BS will ever be replaced by AI?

I don't. I mean "Mother of All AI" just doesn't feel the same, uless you're talking about Ada Lovelace.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 08:13 PM

BTW... while I am up here on this smelly high steed from which I pontificate, hear ye far and wide that ye sinners shall burn for all eternity if you do not REPENT!

Nice vocals and instrumentals eh? Even though that part about the pregnant girl being saved by The Lord from the Long Black Train is kinda overdoing it a tad. Literary bullshit or some such is the technical term, I think.

Oh... yeah! I must go find that other one... or two... two faced bastard makes good music, he does.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 07:57 PM

S'amatter? You don't like the redneck, white and blue? Commie pinko bastard! John Wang would whip you with his big dick you fuckin hippie.

Get those foreskins in a circle jerk. John and Toby are gonna kick your ass.

Disclaimer. As I hope everyone knows, I respect all military members. But, I don't like the jingoism shit like the stuff Toby makes money from. Just sayin, eh?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM

Mom! Why am I seeing advertisements for a Toby Keith concert in Biloxi, Mississippi? I don't like Toby Keith. I've never been to Biloxi. And, most importantly, the concert date is July 1st. That's nine days ago! But the ad is still up! Gluon can go to a concert in the past, but I can't. If I could, I'd go back and see Jimi Hendrix not Toby Keith.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 06:48 PM

Same Mom, different post.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 04:41 PM

Mom is from the desolation of The Pit? Gee. I had know idea.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 04:40 PM

A Prayer for Mom

Now I lay me down to sleep
A sack of bullshit at my feet
If Mom should fall before I wake
Help her up, for goodness sake!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 01:59 PM

Refresh! Same Mom from the desolation of The Pit!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 10:48 PM

Yes, Al Turing. Turning was Ed Turning, who used to fix flats at Joe's Standard Station. Good man, Ed, but he died in 1957 and probably never did much with computers.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 08:24 PM

I think you meant Turing, rather than Turning, although turning is definitely an eternal theme.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 11:07 AM

And Mom bless Gluon.

Quark!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 09:14 AM

Stay with us, Mother MOAB. Bless our endeavors or endeavours on your behalf. Bless the Max, the Creator, and each of the mods. Bless the servers, restore them, and keep them safe from all harm. Bless all of their little diodes and triodes, their LEDs and LCDs, all their parts. Bless all of Max's parts and those of the mods as well. And bless all of your children, even Amos, and especially your fave rave, me. This we ask in the ineffable names of Turning, Babbage, Lovelace, Bartik, Boole, Cerf, von Neumann, Hopper, Ritchie, Grace, and all your saints. Arpanet!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 01:37 AM

What a friend we have in MOAB!
All our posts and whims to bear!
What a joy it is to see her,
Carrying our posts Up There!

Etc., etc.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 12:54 AM

MOM may be the only think keeping Mudcat afloat this evening.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 16 - 10:27 PM

That goodness I posted that history about PR in time or Mom would have fallen!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 16 - 08:58 AM

This is dedicated to the one I lo...I mean, Bee Dubya Ell.
**********************************************************

Penelope stretched and laid back in the chaise longe. Always so much to do, she mused. Keeping up with the family investments, seeking out new ground for investments...well, the Alaska thing should be profitable when they get past the Sorry Paling bunch. As they say Up There, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." She was certain that Chinga and she could tap into some of the goods.

Ballsworthy quietly approached, noted that she'd drifted off to sleep, and took the telephone back into the house. He left a new drink, knowing that she wouldn't sleep long.

Penelope was tickled awake by a butterfly landing on her nose. She sneezed and it flew away.

She looked at her watch. Heavens! It was four-thirty and the General was due for dinner at six! She sipped the gin and tonic, again was amazed at how well Ballsworthy had slipped into being a butler. She's taken him in as a broken man with a police record, given him a job in the stables, and he'd risen quickly in the household. In the old days he'd have given anything to obtain access to the information that was now spread before him, and he was uninterested except when it impinged on his job and then only as long as was necessary. She smiled and thought, from the muck to the stars.

Well, she only had an hour now to get ready for her guest. Hadn't seen him in far, far too long. Since before she made the mistake of marrying...well, that was fixed now and the past was literally buried. And he had the VC now, as well as the CGC. She knew that on the next honors list he'd be able to add KCOBE to his list of letters. Heavens, but he was weighed down with medals -- the Legion de Honnore, the US' Medal of Freedom, and who knew what else? She silently giggled and thought that if he ever fell in the pond his medals would prevent him from rising to the surface.

There was a diffident knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Ballsworthy, Miss Penelope. The General is here."

"Thank you. Please set out the decanter of Louis Royer. I'll be down in a very few minutes."

(General? What general? And what will they be having for dinner?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 16 - 07:34 AM

Oh dear! The latest episode of the Penelope/Chinga/Chonga/Ballsworthy/etc. adventures did not post! Please, please, please do your very best to reconstruct the post so I may ignore it. My day simply is not complete unless I ignore a faux Little Hawk post or two. And don't even suggest that I go back and ignore an earlier installment. It just would't be the same.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 11:39 PM

The latest episode of the Penelope/Chinga/Chonga/Ballsworthy/etc. adventures did not post! Lost! Lost for eternity in the Big Bitbucket in the Sky! Fortunately I have poetry to assuage my feelings!

Be kind to all little ones,
All fathers, mothers dear,
Be kind to your little ones,
Their little hearts to cheer.
For oh! you know not how soon
Their place will vacant be;
If God should call one to his home,
Your conscience would be free.

Their little forms are tender,
They're at your mercy now;
They need your kind attention
To watch them every hour.
While they are little infants,
My friends, take time to spare:
Do not forget an instant,
To give them tender care.

God, he never did intend
You to misuse your child;
Their little souls to you he sends
To bless you for awhile.
And if you always will be kind
To them, sweet little ones,
Oh! what a blessing you will find
In after years to come.

You never, never will repent,
Dear friend, for being kind;
Those little ones to you were sent,
And always bear in mind,
That God may call your little ones
And leave you here behind;
Oh! what a happy thought will come --
I always have been kind.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 05:35 PM

12C and rain. I have a hoody on as I type. The pigeons that sit on the wires outside my window and stare at the back of my hood (I know they do; I have caught them doing it) and wish they were dry too do not unnerve me even if there are far more of them than my army of one. I fear not for my will is strong and my is arsenal armed to the teeth. They shan't dare attack. They shall sit soaked and shivering upon my wires to the world and I shall ne'er accommodate those rats with wings on any level. Flea infested vile vermin.

Besides, I sold my truck and I park my car in the garage so WTF are they gonna do? Shit on my driveway? I wear shoes. HA!

I wonder what they taste like. Damp, I expect.

Hey, A! Enjoy!

Hey, BWL! I cooked my fav last night. Bacon On a Stick. Well, it was a fork... a forked stick... made of steel. Anyway, here is the recipe. Ingredients : fried bacon and beer. Directions : fork the fried bacon into your mouth with beer to wash it down. It's an old family recipe so keep it to yourself.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 11:27 AM

I just KNEW there was more to those gals than met the eye. Or the I. Whomever. Good job, M. Rapp!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 10:35 AM

I have received the following Private Message from Mom:

Dear Bee-dubya my idiot son,

I have prepared and tried the Mom's Breakfast Bowl recipe you posted and found it most excellent indeed. However, I would like to offer a few suggestions for improvement.   First, it really should be served with a funnel cake on top. Better yet, a funnel cake, a cone of cotton candy, and a deep-fried Snickers bar.   And alcohol. Don't you think the whole thing would be improved by tossing in a double shot of tequila? And figure out some way to serve it on a stick. Like dip golf ball-sized globs of it in funnel cake dough and deep fry them, then stab 'em with bamboo skewers.   You could rename it Mom's Breakfast on a Stick.

Love,

Mom


Sometimes I worry about Mom.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 10:05 AM

Penelope said, "Hi, Chinga! How's tricks?"

There was a peal of laughter from the phone and Chinga replied, "Still turning! Business has been great! You get the financials, don't you?"

"Yes, and we're doing pretty well, aren't we? I don't like the looks of the Alaska venture, though -- tell me truly, how's that going? You sent Chonga up there when? in 2018? It's been two years."

Chinga sighed and replied, "Yes, and I went up a couple months ago to check on things. Chonga is really doing her best, but there's a lot of amateur competition, and then there's the Paling syndicate. That ex-governor knows where the bodies are frozen."

"Can I help? This is a big project and our investments are on the line."

"Yes, they are. Indeed they are! I've got about thirty mil in this and you've got about the same. Hmmm...perhaps a deal with the Paling bunch."

"I'll 'deal' with them. Leave it to me. I've been wondering if it was this sort of thing holding us back. I'll put the Corporation on it."

"Violence?" Chinga sounded appalled.

"Not unless we have to. Just some gentle reminders to certain select 'entrepreneurs" who should be working with us instead of that Sorry crowd. You and I know that politicians are more powerful than pistols."

"As long as they stay bought," chuckled Chinga. "Those are the only honest politicians."

"Chinga, I'll be sending some more cash. Look for it in the Bank of Alaska box -- the second one, the special purposes one. And some Corporate members will need rooms in Anchorage -- perhaps at the Captain Cook. The Presidential Suites. And in Juneau! Perhaps we'd better buy an up-scale condo there, as we'll be having a lot of business there. And do keep this from your sister! She should find that certain obstacles have been cleared. You must pardon me, but you got the brains when you twins were conceived."

"And she has never had much brawn -- just bragging. Yes, I realized that long, long ago. But we are agreed then?"

"Yes. I'll ring up from friends. Bye for now!"

"Bye!" And the connection was broken.

Penelope called another number.

"Leo? This is Momma. Anchorage and Juneau, Alaska. Political deal, nothing else unless it's very, very needful. I'll have more info to you shortly. Movement starts in about a fortnight." And she hung up.

(Penelope? Co-chairing an international conglomerate with Chinga? It appears so!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 06:57 AM

I don't get this whole "Make America grate again!" thing. Who does this guy think he is that he wants to make Americans grate cheese? Yes, pre-grated cheese is a bit lazy and it costs a tad more, but so what? People who eat lots of tacos probably save a couple of hours a year by not having to grate their own cheese. And if you multiply that couple of hours by all the taco lovers in the US, that's millions of hours! Yes, millions of hours that could be spent finding a cure for toenail fungus or something.

And if the "Make America grate again!" campaign wins, who's to say what comes next? "Make America prepare tortillas, guacamole, and refried beans from scratch again?" Forget it! If your typical American has to work that hard to make a taco or enchilada, he's just going to make a hamburger instead.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 02:04 AM

Mwahahaha. Without our tender and compassionate attentionate, Sir Hawke, Chonga would have been buried as a half-monstrous impulse not worthy to be admitted in human discussion. So don't give yourself airs. You created Chongo against the pressured expectations of Others, and I created Chinga against the pressured expectations of Little Hawk. No-one denies you credit for the remarkable authorship involved in bringing him through from the wild Afric jungle. But no more should you try so hard to squelch the reasonable consequences of your inserting him into our conversation.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 11:48 PM

If I had not created Chongo in the first place and brought him into your and Rap's dull little online lives, Amos, you would never have even thought of Chinga. "She" is an aberration, a misbegotten conception achieved through the marriage of a Spanish language swear word and a stolen idea...stolen from me, no less. I suppose, since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, that I should be somewhat flattered that you and Rap even bothered to steal from me in this manner...but...hmmm...no, I don't really see the point of being flattered in this case. It would be like Julius Caesar feeling flattered over the creation of Caesar salad.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 11:06 PM

What if Chongo, Penelope, et al are real and Little Hawk is a figment of their collective imaginations?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 09:02 PM

CHinga ecxists just as surely as Ballsworthy or Corridus or the stupid chimp brother who left her abandoned when he fled to America. You don't get to unmock Chinga while asserting the existence of that flea-bitten poop-flinger, no sirreee, Bob!

Hey Mom! I am off to do something new and different (for me, anyway). I am addressing the monthly gathering of a local Book Club on the subject of my thrilling novel, Beyond the Cascdade. How 'bout them apples!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 07:01 PM

Surely you mean CUBAR?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 12:04 PM

YES!!! "The Little Match Girl" is one of my absolute favorites in MacGonagall's luminous writings! It really just couldn't BE any better than that, could it? He had them weeping in the aisles.

Nice to see Mr Ballsworthy back "on the pitch", as it were. Still, I must advise that:

1. Chinga Chimp does not exist, she never did, and never shall.

2. "Chinga" is just a very common Mexican swear word. Nothing other than that. It means "fuck".

and...

3. You are chinga'ed if you don't know that, sir! You are CBAR. (chinga'ed beyond all recognition)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM

Oh, yeah -- just before serving sprinkle some good, grated, extra sharp cheddar cheese on top.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 08:26 AM

One of my favourite receipts. I created this dish myself and you can vary it according to your needs.

1 regular sized can of hominy (white, yellow, or one can of each)
Cubed ham or slices of smoked sausage
Some chopped onions
Some chopped bell peppers (various colors make it attractive)
Some butter
Some salt and pepper
Some Tryme Tiger Sauce

Melt the butter and cook the sausage, onions, and peppers in it. When they are cooked add the hominy. Put on some salt and pepper. Use some Tiger Sauce (this is not exactly a hot sauce, so taste!).

Serve on warmed or unwarmed plates. Stick some parsley on top or sprinkle on some paprika to make it extra fancy.

NB: You can use pazole seco, available at many mercados, but it takes a lot longer to prepare than using canned hominy since it's best to start the night before.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 04:59 AM

Begging for breakfast? Not when there's Mom's Breakfast Bowl!

Combine, in a medium sized bowl:

1 cup prepared hominy grits*
2 scrambled eggs
1 small onion, chopped and sautéed
2 slices fried bacon, chopped
2 cooked breakfast sausage links or patties, chopped
½ cup grated cheddar cheese
1 tsp butter
seasonings to taste

Mix thoroughly and serve with whole wheat toast, biscuits and gravy, or pancakes.


* Fried potatoes may be substituted if you find grits to be particularly abominable.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 03:26 AM

The cure may be worse than the original pestilence that gave it reason to exist. Seems clear to me that the MOAB world has gone wholly overboard, with Rapparree being subsumed into a poor copy of Little Hawk's identity, while Mom goes begging for breakfast!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 10:26 PM

To prevent LH from doing it:

The Little Match Girl
by William Topaz McGonagall

It was biting cold, and the falling snow,
Which filled a poor little match girl's heart with woe,
Who was bareheaded and barefooted, as she went along the street,
Crying, "Who'll buy my matches? for I want pennies to buy some meat!"

When she left home she had slippers on;
But, alas! poor child, now they were gone.
For she lost both of them while hurrying across the street,
Out of the way of two carriages which were near by her feet.

So the little girl went on, while the snow fell thick and fast;
And the child's heart felt cold and downcast,
For nobody had bought any matches that day,
Which filled her little mind with grief and dismay.

Alas! she was hungry and shivering with cold;
So in a corner between two houses she made bold
To take shelter from the violent storm.
Poor little waif! wishing to herself she'd never been born.

And she grew colder and colder, and feared to go home
For fear of her father beating her; and she felt woe-begone
Because she could carry home no pennies to buy bread,
And to go home without pennies she was in dread.

The large flakes of snow covered her ringlets of fair hair;
While the passers-by for her had no care,
As they hurried along to their homes at a quick pace,
While the cold wind blew in the match girl's face.

As night wore on her hands were numb with cold,
And no longer her strength could her uphold,
When an idea into her little head came:
She'd strike a match and warm her hands at the flame.

And she lighted the match, and it burned brightly,
And it helped to fill her heart with glee;
And she thought she was sitting at a stove very grand;
But, alas! she was found dead, with a match in her hand!

Her body was found half-covered with snow,
And as the people gazed thereon their hearts were full of woe;
And many present let fall a burning tear
Because she was found dead on the last night of the year,

In that mighty city of London, wherein is plenty of gold –
But, alas! their charity towards street waifs is rather cold.
But I hope the match girl's in Heaven, beside her Saviour dear,
A bright reward for all the hardships she suffered here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 10:21 PM

Penelope Rutledge semi-reclined in the shade of the old, old oak in the garden. If she was thinking of anything in particular it was how beastly hot it was and how good that gin-and-tonic would be. And if as magic, the butler brought it.

"Here you are, Miss Rutledge," he said, placing the frosted glass on the table. The curl of lime zest added a festive note.

"Thank you, Ballsworthy. You may go," she replied. And the butler left silently for the house.

Penelope took a thoughtful sip. Just as she like it. Ballsworthy knew how to keep a bar, and he was a top-notch butler. She never thought he had that in his makeup. Then, she'd never killed a lizard-man before. And that story about Ballsworthy being found naked on the Great Grimpen Moor -- if her friends at MI-7 hadn't assured her it was true....

Ballsworthy coughed quietly on her left side. She turned, and he said, "A telephone call, Miss Rutledge. I've taken the liberty of bringing the phone to you." He handed her a cordless phone, turned, and left.

She placed the phone on the table. One of the bad things about technology was that one couldn't escape into the garden anymore, she thought. She picked up the phone and spoke.

"Penelope Rutledge here."

"Penelope? Hello! It's Chinga."


(WHAT!?!? Chonga's sister calling Penelope? Whatever can this mean? More surprises ahead!)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 09:43 PM

That's the spirit, Bee Dub! Yes, it is! Oui! Ja!

MM, you wouldn't pull the wool over our eyes now, would you? I know you're a purl among hookers, but I also know that you're not above needling us.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM

Hi, Mom! I bought a dozen eggs yesterday.   When I opened the carton this morning, the eggs were sitting around a little table and trying to summon up the departed spirit of the baked chicken we had for dinner last night.   They were medium eggs.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 02:00 PM

He should be careful not to become a knitwit. That can result from too much knitting, specially in the absence of a suitable chaperone.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 01:04 PM

Cotton candy will stick to wool.

Well done, MM!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 12:34 PM

MOM just shouted out from the kitchen that MMario has done well by tending to his own knitting. (I didn't bother to tell her that he mostly crochets). She also wants to know if he knits cotton candy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 08:22 AM

Just an update to MOM regarding a long absent son...I have joined an "in store" retial scheme at Ravelry.com which makes my patterns available in over 1600 retail brick & mortar stores...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 06:53 PM

You can also use piranhas.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 06:37 PM

About those nanopisca thingies: what my earlier post referred to were "garra rufas."

A variety of Turkish toothless mini-carp, it says at the Discover magazine blog.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 06:01 PM

The brain fries at the very thought. McGonagle is to poetry what Chongo is to fiction. 'Nuff said.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 04:45 PM

I have returned from gracing the town with my presence, and I will shortly resume posting wonderful poetic gems from the collected works of William MacGonagall. I know you're all panting to hear them.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 26 April 5:54 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.