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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 29 Jan 16 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM
gnu 29 Jan 16 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 16 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM
gnu 29 Jan 16 - 07:00 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 16 - 12:31 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM
gnu 28 Jan 16 - 06:36 PM
Amos 28 Jan 16 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 16 - 03:17 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jan 16 - 12:14 PM
Amos 28 Jan 16 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM
Little Hawk 28 Jan 16 - 01:03 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 16 - 10:30 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jan 16 - 09:18 PM
Acme 27 Jan 16 - 08:55 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 16 - 07:24 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jan 16 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 16 - 10:00 AM
Amos 27 Jan 16 - 01:20 AM
gnu 26 Jan 16 - 07:51 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 16 - 07:33 PM
Amos 26 Jan 16 - 07:23 PM
gnu 26 Jan 16 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 16 - 04:33 PM
gnu 26 Jan 16 - 01:27 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jan 16 - 12:18 PM
Amos 26 Jan 16 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 16 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 16 - 09:30 AM
gnu 26 Jan 16 - 07:15 AM
Rapparee 25 Jan 16 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 16 - 05:09 PM
gnu 25 Jan 16 - 04:44 PM
Amos 25 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM
gnu 25 Jan 16 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 16 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 16 - 10:36 PM
Acme 24 Jan 16 - 09:15 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jan 16 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jan 16 - 02:53 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jan 16 - 02:49 PM
Amos 24 Jan 16 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 16 - 10:58 AM
maeve 24 Jan 16 - 06:24 AM
Amos 24 Jan 16 - 01:23 AM
Rapparee 23 Jan 16 - 10:19 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 06:44 PM

That would suck. She has enough to deal with. Everything from monkeys to self-appointed deities to backwoods trash to... leave her alone! She's in her Autumnal Equinogs. Let her sip the last of the very solace she has earned before she fades into the abyss as we all must do.

Or, we could just keep shooting the shit until we go tits up. Whatever.

Hey... you gonna finish that? I'll take it. I ain't proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM

Being eternal, I am immortal. I am, at the same time and space, mortal. I am anchored in the "past" and the "future" by the chain known as the "present."

I do not expect y'all to understand this stuff, because if you did your head would explode and make an awful mess for Mom to clean up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 03:40 PM

Who?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 12:17 PM

Are you talking to your mortal self again, Rap? A bit of a disappointment, isn't he? :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM

I also created YOU. And I can uncreate you. That being the case it behooves you to acknowledge me as you creator.

And when you complain to me of cataracts, zits, boils on your saddle-sitter, no money, a busted truck, or anything else -- only I am perfect. And I achieved perfection the hard way! All I am doing is allowing you to try (and fail) to achieve the perfection I have.

Besides, if I'd created you perfect I would have created myself again. Granted, I'd have someone with whom to hold an intelligent conversation, but I can talk with myself now.

Just remember your mottos: Ad astra per asparagus! Corripe Cervisiam! Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! Vescere bracis meis! Malo mala mali quam mala equui! Cogito Ergo Doleo! Utinam barbari alum tuum invadant! Sed semper ubi sububi in caput meum! Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem!

Remember them and they will see you through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 07:00 AM

WANTED : Schrödinger's cat. Dead and alive. (AU)

Rap created Amos > Amos exists.

Incognito, ergo sumwhat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 12:31 AM

Right....


(the sound of my footsteps walking away, accompanied by my wry chuckling)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM

Amos, Amos, Amos. I have told you repeatedly that I created you. Just because I don't require adoration and thanks, to say nothing of sacrifices, does not give you liberty to claim you created me. I have been, am, and always will be, per omnia saecula saecularum.

You, on the other hand, do not exist when I do not think of you. I know this because I spent several hours today not thinking about you and you didn't exist: QED. Or, more formally:

I have no recollection of nonexistence.
No nonexistence means I have always existed.
∴ I am eternal.

I am eternal.
You came to my attention only a few years ago.
∴ You are not eternal.

You are not eternal.
I am eternal.
∴ You are my creation.

As I said earlier, I am benevolent and require no thanks, no adoration, no sacrifices -- only your acknowledgement of my eternity and that you are my creation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 06:36 PM

Yeah, right. I post the weather forecast and pretty much gloat about the unreal beautiful weather for this time of year and a few hours later the fuckers issue a weather alert with... snow and we don't know how much yet but it'll be enough to piss you off at the minimum. Me and my big mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 05:32 PM

I never thought I'd see three figments of perfervid imagining planning hits on each other--Chongo, Chinga and Rapparree. I get nervous when my voluntary mental mockups start taking independent action. It makes me feel like I have to write it all down!l


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 03:17 PM

If he doubles it so will I. But that's for others -- for dear Chongx I'll arrange the cannon salute for free. I figure I'll be able to deduct the expense as a service to the public good.

Wait! Good news! Chinga just called and said she'll cover the cost!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 12:14 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! I love these fine examples of capitalist energy and initiative. I'm going to advise Chongo to double his going rate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 11:27 AM

The first truly viable and beneficial plan from Rapparee that I have heard yet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 09:53 AM

I'll play reveille for him! For an additional $10 I'll even have the morning cannon salute fired into his living abode, complete with high-explosive round from a 175mm howitzer!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jan 16 - 01:03 AM

Chongo's had a brilliant scam going like that for years. For $10 a day, he'll pretend to give a damn about your problems in life. For $20 a day, he won't.

And that's how the rent gets paid! :) Private eye work is pretty marginal most of the time, specially for Chimps. The average American won't hire a Chimp, because of specism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 10:30 PM

Now that I have a genuine bugle, I'm going to go into business!

For USD 2.50 per day, I'll call you up a play reveille.

For USD 5.00 per day, I won't do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 09:18 PM

Floaters are a normal thing as far as I'm concerned. I probably always have a few of them happening, but they're subtle and not too distracting and I just don't notice them most of the time. If I relax and look for them...well, there they are, moving around, and they come and go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 08:55 PM

The Over the Hill Gang has quite a medical history in this thread! If your doctors need to know something you can simply refer them to it - and see how long it takes to read nearly 54,000 (we'd have more if not for that glitch last year).

I had a floater a couple of years ago, quite a distraction. That's when I started going to an ophthalmologist instead of optometrist for my annual eye exam. Most of it has shrunk and it's a tiny little speck compared to before. Too soon for cataract surgery, though it's in my future. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 07:24 PM

Well, my vision without the "pin hole device" (with which I scored 20/30 a week ago) was 20/40 without it today (it was 20/80 last week). I go back on the 4th and at that time I'll probably be given a new prescription for my right lens, "a mild one."

Goody. Now I have to see a hand surgeon about my left hand -- I've been getting "trigger finger" of the ring finger and it messes up my lute playing something awful.

I'm looking forward to that time in Hawaii as a break from doctors and chirurgeons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 12:56 PM

That is a wonderful little story, Rapparee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 10:00 AM

Off in a distant galaxy, planetary explorers discovered a gigantic creature. All tests showed that it was alive, but it never moved. Never stood up (it was certainly sitting), never scratched, nothing. Yet it showed respiration and neural testing demonstrated that it was almost certainly both sentient and intelligent. After many years, one scientist after another became frustrated with the project and left to study other things.

Then one day one scientist slammed his hat to the ground and shouted, "Why would Nature create a creature that did nothing except sit motionlessly? Why?"

And for the first time the creature moved. It raised itself to its full height of 37 meters and in a deep voice said, "Nature wouldn't!" and sat back down.

"My GOD!!" said the scientist. "Of course! It only stands to reason!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 16 - 01:20 AM

I didn't say I was imperfect; merely that I am out of umbrage. THat is actually to be expected by anyone familiar with human nature.m The closer to perfection, the more umbrage others will take. It stands to reason that the most perfect will run out sooner than their more flawed, but inoffensive, brethren.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 07:51 PM

Oops... Mum is blind in the right eye from wet macular degeneration. Makes it a bit more meaningful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 07:33 PM

Amos...you mean...you're not perfect???

My world is shattered. Shattered, I tell you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 07:23 PM

Been there, done that; my eyes have been fine without glasses for some years no.

Rapp, YOU are the one who said " Because in about 20 minutes he's having cataract surgery...done by the same doctor who did mine...at the same surgery center...on the same (right) eye.". So if Sam The Terribly rightening is going to take umbrage, let him take yours as the responsible party. I have none left to spare, so many have taken it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 04:52 PM

"But I am annoying my wife by reading street signs at a distance I couldn't read before."

Hahahahaa! Same thing here. Only problem is, I pointed such out to Mum and she is near blind in the left eye from a cataract left unattended for years (long story) so I gave that up after talking about it twice in less than a minute. My bad.

But, it is freaky when you can read a sign on a building from a distance when you previously couldn't "make out" the building from a third of the distance away!

Do you have reduced peripheral vision... circular "darkness" at the side (sides for me)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 04:33 PM

'Sokay. I see the doc tomorrow. I had no floaters for about a week, but I'm noticing them now. No flashes of light, no descending "veil", no bleeding, no infection, no fun at all. But I am annoying my wife by reading street signs at a distance I couldn't read before.

Be careful, Amos. Sam owns property in San Diego. Also Belgrade, MT, southern UT, and NC. Here's a neat fact about Sam: his daughter is a West Point graduate (retired as a colonel just recently) and his granddaughter is plebe at the Point. Sam was a contract employee with the 2nd Special Forces back in '62 and his wife had to sew all of his buttons back -- he was so proud that his granddaughter was also going the Point that he busted 'em all off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 01:27 PM

"... I'm seeing more floaters than right after the surgery..."

Gee. My written instructions said that I should call in immediately if that happened (plus light flashes and some other stuff). Odd that there is such a difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 12:18 PM

Yes, sharing is a horribly unAmerican idea! It smacks of socialism!!! Better that everyone should hunker down in his own fortified bunker with a good supply of ammo, I say, and keep himself company by reading old Ayn Rand books and sharpening his Bowie knife for a last stand if the ammo runs out. Better to die stupid than to live under collective social action!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 10:56 AM

You and Sam been sharing an eyeball? That's pretty radical. Sounds like communism to me! What if you don't see eye to eye?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 09:44 AM

gnu, here's one for ya: my friend Sam's gun store is closed today. Why? Because in about 20 minutes he's having cataract surgery...done by the same doctor who did mine...at the same surgery center...on the same (right) eye. And yes, there are other docs in town who'll slice yer eyeball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 09:30 AM

It's pretty cool to "scratch" around your eye by putting your finger through an empty hole where your right lens used to be. It's subtle and can make people go "YUCK!"

The black eye is fading faster with the use of arnica cream. My vision is okay, although I'm seeing more floaters than right after the surgery; that's probably because of the ocular anesthesia wearing off.

I'll know more tomorrow after I see the eye doc for the week-after followup exam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 07:15 AM

Rap... how's dee eye, b'y?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 09:56 PM

Amos, no place in the US is immune to earthquakes. Now, where I live we only have to worry about tornadoes, blizzards, earthquakes, and volcanoes. Tsunamis and hurricanes, no, they're off the list. In fact, we don't even have a tsunami escape route. If the volcano over in Yellowstone blows, well, I'll be joining all of MOABites (including you, eventually).

LH, Shame couldn't drink a stubby s without tossing it back up. Heck, I know for a fact he can't drink a half bottle of Labatt Dealcoholized. Ya see, he's allergic to beer and all malt beverages. Comes from dumpster diving for dregs of Bud Light.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 05:09 PM

A wise perspective, Amos. Would that Shane had such a sublime overview of mortal life. What worries him is that the world's beer may run out! He loses sleep sometimes worrying about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 04:44 PM

"So I am not too concerned." THE MARTIN? !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 04:10 PM

As it happens I live quite near the extension inland of the Rose Canyon fault, which topographically speaking has provided some lovely park like canyon trails for Maggie to romp in.

Should the fault let go in some hyperdramatic way, it would probably be cataclysmic for Maggie, and for me, and for my dear friends and neighbors here in sunny San Diego. If it causes snow, ultimately, by disrupting our little anomaly, I probably won't be around to care much. I will be swamped by seabed or hilltop removal on a grand scale. My Martin and my banjo, my Prius and my Stetson, all crushed to oblivion by the indifferent waves and massive debris of catastrophe.

On the other hand, if I move away, sell at the top of the market, and settle into the lovely rolling hills of North Carolina's Piedmont, or some such place, I could rest easy for my remaining years.

Really, it's six of one and half dozen of the other to me. I have lived many lifetimes that ended much worse, and have seen planets die and stars give birth to fiery ruination for parsecs in all directions. So I am not too concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 02:59 PM

I read that 2 exploded but no injuries. Talk about luck! Frightening stuff. I assume couplings connecting hoses to appliances (which is common for such as cooking stoves) or on piping became loose. Stoves are a real problem because they have to have flexible hoses... if the stove shakes around too much - BOOM! Same with dishwashers with internal gas heaters.

Seriously scary shit man!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 16 - 10:47 AM

One house burned in Alaska and another exploded. No injuries, thanks be ta God!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 10:36 PM

Wait until the Cascadia Fault cuts loose. It could trigger the Rose Canyon or Catalina faults, have Catalina and the other islands disappear in a sand slip, and a tsunami wouldn't do San Diego a single bit of good. It is also quite possible that a Cascadia quake and tsunami would destroy San Diego's anomaly and then...hello SNOW!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 09:15 PM

Alaska's overnight earthquake could have sent a tsunami southward, hammering the left coast all the way down to San Diego. They were polite, however, and contained the mess to a few grocery store aisles full of cereal boxes and broken bottles of fruit juice. Amos got lucky this time . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 09:03 PM

On the other hand, there's virtually nothing that could happen in Blind River which could have any effect on you, Rap, other than if the Earth collided with a really huge interstellar object of some kind...large enough to produce an ELE (extinction level event) in the northern hemisphere...if not the entire globe.

In which case...Shane would go first, I would go shortly after him, and you would go next, while Amos would go a little while after that...when the wave of utter destruction rolled over the Rocky Mountains and took out San Diego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 08:43 PM

Don't fret -- send them to Amos for his banjo.

Amos, that was a synthesis of information I gathered from various places on the World Wide Web. I used reports from such sources as NOAA, Scripps, CSIRO, the Institute of Oceanology (China), Woods Hole, Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology, ISMER, and KIOST, among others. Remember, what happens in the Pacific can easily affect me personally here in Idaho as rain, snow, arctic cold, and heat. I know, I know, you're surprised that I actually know stuff and keep track of science-y things. But I do, I really do. So enjoy your changing anomaly while you can, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 02:53 PM

Now how am I to make amends to Amos? Hmm. This is going to take some considerable thought. After all, what can I really do for the man who has absolutely everything, including an Appolonio guitar, a cowboy hat, and year round sunshine? Dear me... (fret! fret!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 02:49 PM

Wow, Rap! Prodigious boasting was that indeed! Impressed I am! Use many exclamation marks I shall!!! Rave on about it for some time I will!!!!!

(Oh, dear. I think I may have contracted Yodalitis!) It's all because of the damned Star Wars hype, I know it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 01:43 PM

It was Wednesday, under the sign of Sagittarius. The US president was Lyndon B. Johnson (Democratic). In that special week of December people in US were listening to Daydream Believer by The Monkees. In UK Hello Goodbye by The Beatles was in the top 5 hits. Doctor Dolittle, directed by Richard Fleischer, was one of the most viewed movies released in 1967 while The Confessions Of Nat Turner by William Styron was one of the best selling books. And so? But the WEATHER!!

"This is something you tell to people who are from out of the area. They have a hard time believing it," said Ken Ayers, a county native who was a dazzled 7-year-old on that wondrous day.

"It's the California Christmas dream."

The dream came true 40 years ago this morning, when gale-force winds blew a Canadian cold front far, far off course. Across San Diego County, residents woke up to see the air shimmering with something cold, white and unfamiliar.

Bill Brick, then a seventh-grader at Oak Crest Junior High School in Encinitas, remembers looking out his bedroom window that morning. His initial reaction: "Huh?"

He had not seen snow before.

San Diego's coast has not seen significant snowfall since.""

Thus, the San Diego Tribune.

Your analysis of the San Diego anomaly is most inneresting. I wish you provided sources for these dogma of yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 10:58 AM

December 13, 1967, Amos. A date frozen into San Diego's history. As old as you are you probably remember.

February 14, 2008. January 1, 2015. And don't forget those poor beasties who got stuck in tar and froze to death when the blizzard hit!

Right now it's 27.9F, overcast, with a 30% chance of s**w flurries. Even then the s**wfall can be erratic: the s**wfall between Monday last and yesterday brought about an inch to us at 4,740.8 feet above sea level and four inches to those a couple hundred feet lower.

Apparently you'll be experiencing more and more s**w soon, Amos. Oceanographic studies done in the last few months indicate a lessening of the warm-water anomaly off San Diego, permitting a greater and greater influx of the colder waters of the California Current. Further afield, however, the California Current itself is losing its warmth to the Granddaddy current, the North Pacific. This will bring cold water along the coast of California and with the breakdown of the San Diego anomaly means more, deeper, and more frequent snows to your part of the world. Oh! Oceanographers and NOAA give your anomaly about five years more life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 06:24 AM

KendalL requires no extraneous hot air, Amos. (Ahem, cough, cough!)

There was nary a sign of the wicked big storm in Midcoast Maine. We scared it out to sea. Kendall is fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 16 - 01:23 AM

Let he who dealt 'em smelt 'em, I say. Little Hawk, the predicate ("or make it snow in Sandy Ego") had a preceding subject, namely the steely glare mentioned in the previous post. Prepare your amends instanter, sirrah. As fdor the hot air being generated in chilly Pocatello, please be so good as to send some of to our suffering friends along the Eastern seaboard. I imagine half of it should be more than enough to clean up the snow surplus and reduce the rising water levels. You don't even have to ship it over to them--just aim your piehole and keep on emitting your prolix, overheated, garrulous narcissistic exaggerations.! People from Kendal all the way down to Sidewalk Bob will thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 16 - 10:19 PM

I know you got 'em, gnu. I smelt 'em clear out here.

Ebbie, I'm just a typical guy bragging about being a typical guy in a typical American town. I believe in God and Senators Odd and keeping old Castro down. And when it came my time to serve I knew better dead than red!


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