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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 14 Jan 17 - 07:24 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jan 17 - 06:28 AM
Acme 14 Jan 17 - 12:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 17 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:34 PM
gnu 13 Jan 17 - 04:05 PM
Acme 13 Jan 17 - 01:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 17 - 08:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 17 - 08:49 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:21 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:18 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:18 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:17 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 17 - 08:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 17 - 05:53 AM
Acme 12 Jan 17 - 11:42 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 17 - 03:53 PM
gnu 12 Jan 17 - 02:02 PM
gnu 12 Jan 17 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 17 - 10:43 PM
gnu 11 Jan 17 - 04:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 17 - 03:09 PM
Vashta Nerada 11 Jan 17 - 02:30 PM
keberoxu 11 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM
keberoxu 10 Jan 17 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 17 - 05:47 PM
keberoxu 10 Jan 17 - 01:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 17 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 17 - 09:01 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 17 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 17 - 08:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jan 17 - 07:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jan 17 - 09:55 PM
gnu 08 Jan 17 - 09:38 PM
Amos 08 Jan 17 - 09:20 PM
Rapparee 08 Jan 17 - 08:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jan 17 - 01:09 PM
keberoxu 08 Jan 17 - 12:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jan 17 - 12:35 AM
Rapparee 07 Jan 17 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jan 17 - 04:33 PM
keberoxu 07 Jan 17 - 04:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jan 17 - 01:31 PM
keberoxu 07 Jan 17 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 07 Jan 17 - 11:26 AM
gnu 07 Jan 17 - 11:07 AM
Amos 07 Jan 17 - 02:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jan 17 - 11:38 PM
gnu 06 Jan 17 - 05:15 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 17 - 04:53 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 17 - 07:24 AM

They were on the road dark and early this morning - way before dawn, but then, before dawn on a Saturday morning is an excellent time to go through or past Dallas.

The dogs were so funny - my routine here when strangers arrive is to walk up the driveway to the back gate and greet the dogs and introduce company. Especially if there is a dog with the company; that gives my dogs a look at the visitor and helps discharge the pack energy somewhat. So there was an excited bit of jumping at the gate, then in the house Zeke first met Maggie, and after a minute the other two joined in and the poor girl had three dogs all larger than her checking her vital signs and everything else. She's a trooper, and after that initial shock they roamed the house during the evening while we talked. At one point my dogs wanted to start a rumble under the dining room table, something that was going to involve running, jumping, and picking up and throwing or dropping heavy dog chew toys. (If you've ever seen a dog pick up a toy and fling it, you know that property damage sometimes results. Or human injury, depending on what was flung).

During the night every couple of hours the hall outside the bedrooms sounded like the inside of a drum because my dogs all came inspecting the closed door outside the room where Maggie was spending the night and started wagging tails against the hall table and the walls and whining to invite her to go play or perhaps howl at a few coyotes out in the back yard.

Everyone is going to need a nap today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jan 17 - 06:28 AM

Somehow, I always pictured Amos as only having two legs....

No, wait! That's Maggie! Amos is the one with the guitar! Sorry, the family resemblance confused me for a moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 17 - 12:03 AM

Not everyone may be able to see it (facebook settings) but maybe I'll make this one public. Amos, Barky, and Maggie (with a bit of Cinnamon).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 09:50 PM

Here's a post for ya.

And a very interesting post it is! It's an acorn woodpecker's "granary post".

From Wikipedia:

Acorn woodpeckers, as their name implies, depend heavily on acorns for food. In some parts of their range (e.g., California), the woodpeckers create granaries or "acorn trees" by drilling holes in dead trees, dead branches, telephone poles, and wooden buildings. The woodpeckers then collect acorns and find a hole that is just the right size for the acorn. As acorns dry out, they are moved to smaller holes and granary maintenance requires a significant amount of the bird's time. They also feed on insects, sap, and fruit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:34 PM

Historic? You want historic?

As of right now Mom has been alive for 4,639 days, more or less. Counting this one, 55,561 posting have been made to this, our Mother's thread.

That's an average of 11.9769347 posting per day.

What other thread can say that? What other thread than our beloved MOAB?

But...that's only 0.49902996 posting per hour of the approximately 111,336 hours Mom has been alive. Less than one-half post per hour!!!! Let's pick up the pace out there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 04:05 PM

I expect, nay, demand pictures of this historic event, Acme. It isn't every day that Texas dogs get to host a Calleeforneeah dog. Will they make room for her on the new couch cover? Requiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 01:27 PM

Amos just called from the Back of Beyond - somewhere near Odessa - he hasn't entered the Winter Weather that is in my area yet. But I'll be ready - dinner suitable for a cold rainy day is in the works.

Congrats on the Big Number, but too bad it isn't aerodynamic enough to be a very good spinner. 66666 is designed much better for that. Dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:52 AM

By the way, congrats on post #55555, Rap. May the fives be with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:49 AM

Now I'm all intrigued by this Company Store idea. It would be stocked with items that you only need when you have company. Stuff like clean sheets and towels, food that doesn't come in cans or microwavable containers, wine with corks instead of screw tops, toilet paper that doesn't feel like sandpaper. You get the idea.

And it could have a section to help you get rid of company that's overstayed their welcome. You could buy things like bedbug infested mattresses, aerosol room odorizers in scents like "gym socks" and "dead mouse", and discount coupons for nearby motels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:21 AM

Fooled ya!

55555 is mine!

Eat your hearts out, ye mighty, and despair!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:18 AM

One. I gotta go potty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:18 AM

Two more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:17 AM

Only three more after this post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 08:17 AM

Probably Amos. And you know he was born one mornin' where the sun doesn't shine. Yes, he picked up his shovel but he thought it was mine. He got loaded sixteen times on Kentucky rotgut and the barkeep said, "That's your limit, now git out bud!"


Yes, he was born one mornin' it was drizzlin' tears. His momma ask forgiveness for years and for years. One fist of sponge and the other of fluff, he really thinks he's one tough tough tough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 17 - 05:53 AM

Well, Acme, better head down to the Company Store and stock up on stuff to feed 'em. But don't go overboard. You can wind up owing your soul to the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 17 - 11:42 PM

Company's comin' tomorrow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 17 - 03:53 PM

Moncton, NB??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 17 - 02:02 PM

I have my windows open. 9C and breezy on January 12!!! Nice to get a change of air. Not too often this happens in Moncton, NB.ca.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jan 17 - 01:55 PM

City of Moncton / Ville de Moncton
18 mins ·
We've received questions about the precautionary Boil Water Advisory. We would like to remind residents that:
- The water is safe for showering and bathing.
- Hands can continue to be washed using tap water and a proper handwashing technique that includes rubbing all parts of the hands with soap and water for a minimum of 20 seconds.
- Laundry may be washed in tap water, either by hand or by machine.
- Dishes may be washed by hand in hot, soapy water, and left to air dry. It is safe to use a dishwasher.

So, after one washes one's hands, what do you rinse them with? Now, I know what to do but 50% of people are not as smart as the other 50%. So, fish or bait hook?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 17 - 10:43 PM

Yes, we're home. Got home today. The weather cooperated and we pretty much traveled between the raindrops and snowflakes. Tomorrow it will be 24F (high) and 4F (low). It will continue nice and sunny for the next five days, but I really must bring the brass monkey inside as tomorrow is the warmest day of the period. Then, next Wednesday...ice pellets, snow....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jan 17 - 04:50 PM

YO Rap! yOU GET HOME YET? hOW'S THE mISSUS? capslock!!! Oh, screw it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 17 - 03:09 PM

If my great-niece Averi gave me a cold, she would immediately be demoted from great-niece Averi to merely-acceptable-niece Averi. If the cold should develop into something more serious, she would be further demoted to who's-this-Averi-person-niece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 11 Jan 17 - 02:30 PM

SRS says you should bring some beans or grounds if any of you are coffee drinkers, at her house they are all tea drinkers. But they're civilized enough to have a coffee maker and a French press (and there are some coffee grounds in the freezer - does coffee take on a freezer-burn taste after a few years?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM

making sure that MOAB is still buoyed while Mr and Mrs Rapparee are en route.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 07:42 PM

Achhh, Your Imperious Rapness. The joys of the extended-family reunion. And the stuff that comes with it. Safe traveling home for your and your better half.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 05:47 PM

My great-niece Averi has given me a miserable, stinking, COLD.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 01:38 PM

And only a short time until Rapparee and the missus return home, and hopefully she gets some decent pain meds?? Poor thing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 12:17 PM

Mom's not drinking Scotch at this time. She had to take a break from it because it was making her talk funny. Calling Acme a "wee bonnie lass" and such. She knew she had a problem at the New Year's party when she actually understood all the words to "Auld Lang Syne".

Mom's current beverage of choice is that ultra-cheap gin from the ABC store. Best not try mixing that with milk. It might explode and send Mason jar fragments all over Mom's hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 09:01 AM

19.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 09:00 AM

And just 21 more posts to my next dibs!!! The magnificent 55555!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 17 - 08:58 AM

Hi Mom!! Time for milk and Scotch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 17 - 07:28 PM

Hi, Mom! Time for milk and cookies! Oops! No cookies. How about milk and a carrot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 09:55 PM

...we will be driving Priuses...

Multiple Priuses in the same family? I'm not sure that's legal in North Carolina. You might have to trade one for a pickup truck. Be sure to check with the Department of Motor Vehicles within thirty days of your arrival.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 09:38 PM

Yer Yankee hickory smoked ham is shite. Dry as turkey turd beer. Maybe they're supposed to be baked? Anyway, there should be a warning on the label. Like, "DO NOT BOIL. IF YOU BOIL THIS HAM, IT WILL COME OUT DRY AND TASTELESS." Smoked picnic pork shoulder for me forever. I don't even know if this crap can be used for ham and eggs in the morn. But the veggies, local, are delish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 09:20 PM

I can't tell you all what a comfort it is to read your pleasant pleasantries in my time of duress. Our home has been converted into a dull dark for a brown shadowy boxes towering around us that every and while we walk through the Baron Halls wondering whatever Happened to our beautiful home full of such graceful and carefully thought out creations. Now nothing but forlorn containers with commercial labels on them peoples our domain. Tomorrow, the Packers return to finish their work, and in the next day a gigantic Vann will take everything we own and suck it up like so much krill going into the maw of a gigantic leviathan, and disappear with it down the road. We will take up hot pursuit the next morning, but since we will be driving Priuses rather than Jimmy's or Whites, our chances of success are slim. Nevertheless, we take on our hero's burden and persist and persevere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 08:20 PM

All right. Just for that, I'm going to...to...well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 01:09 PM

South Carolinians gave up on trying to sell watermelons from roadside produce stands years ago. It took them so long to get the word out of their mouths that their customers had already driven off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 12:05 PM

Longer than "watermelon" ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 17 - 12:35 AM

The longest word in the English language is "peaches", when spoken by a South Carolinian selling them at a roadside produce stand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 10:49 PM

Nawth Carolina's weather is due to being too close the both Virginny and Sowth Carolina. Poor state can't make up its mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 04:33 PM

I would be surprised to see NC turn redder instead of bluer. Too many bigoted old sumbitches dying off while their kids are moving to more liberal environs and blatantly associating with known folk musicians.

But I could be wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 04:11 PM

but are you sure North Carolina won't turn....red?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 01:31 PM

The prevalence of freezing rain in North Carolina's weather is due to the state's identity crisis. It doesn't know if it's rural or urban, Democrat or Republican, pro LGBT or anti-LGBT, and that confusion extends to the weather. It can't decide whether to rain or snow, so it comes down as nasty frozen rain shit. Once enough intolerant old fuckers die off, the state will turn a bright shade of blue and the weather will straighten out. It'll be clear skies (except when rain is needed), no more freezing rain, and occasional snow just as a scenic treat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 12:56 PM

The thing that gets me about North Carolina is the weather forecast. Those lovely maps that show precipitation coded according to color. The green color means rain; what is it for snow? Gray or something? but North Carolina, all too often, is PINK which means freezing rain, ice, and sleet....you are welcome to it. Is it because of the mountains and the coast being so near each other?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 11:26 AM

Kyrie Elision?????

3A should begin with "An" and not "A", Bee-dub.

Entropy ALWAYS increases, Amos. You know that. And you're posting to someone who mailed (yes, it was cheaper than the moving company!) two TONS (1,814.37 kilograms) of books from Kentucky to Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 11:07 AM

I live largely vicariously through the adventures and non-adventures of others so all this excitement is wearing me quite thin. Well, not thin thin as my Kissmeass weight gain, which begins shortly after November moon, is now at approximately six pounds. That means that, by Tuesday, I shall have gained eight pounds. I swore last September that there would ne no boiled ham dinners until the green beans flowed fresh from Florida or nearby but hickory smoked ham was on sale and I ain't never cooked one so, if it's as good as the smoked hams we get from La Belle or the from Canuck Cowboy Country smoked and seasoned with Tar Sands emissions, I'll be happy. The down side is that it is from The States so I assume it's laced with antibiotics and steroids. But it's hickory smoked so...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 17 - 02:13 AM

I really appreciate the advice, BeeDub. Tomorrow an invasion of packer-boys will swarm through the door, gobbling up books, underwear, knickknacks, silverware, and spare instruments like mad army ants, leaving a trail of plasticized packing boxes in their wake like so many ant droppings. But it will be, at least, a sort of form of order. The present disposition of those things is verging on the chaotic and entropy knows where that leads!

God bless but I am weary. BUT I am the proud owner of a beautiful 1859 home in North Carolina and I can't wait to go try it on for size.

Stilly, see you on the 13th. Will call tomorrow or so.

Hang tough, boys and girruls. Change may not be soothing, but it is the one certainty in life, and it is definitely real with a capital R.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jan 17 - 11:38 PM

A few things Californians should know about southern speech before moving to the Southland:

1) Southerners do not drop their "r"s. It's a myth perpetuated by Hollywood directors who learned everything they know about how southerners speak by watching Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. To wit, Kevin Spacey's character in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

1A) Actually, some southerners do drop their "r"s, mostly politicians and others who think talking like Foghorn Leghorn makes them sound more genuinely southern. "Genuinely southern" is codespeak for "like a pompous blowhard".

2) There are no one-syllable words in southern speech. "Bob" is pronounced "Bah-uhb". "Bill" is pronounced "Bee-uhl". "Shit" is pronounced "shee-uht". You get the picture.

2A) Actually, there are some one-syllable words, but they didn't start out that way. "Orange" is pronounced "urnge".

3) The degree of elision (the omission of sounds from words) in one's speech is in direct proportion to the size of the wad of chewing tobacco in one's mouth. A moderately sized chaw will cause one to pronounce "all right" as "aw-ight". A really big chaw will turn it into "aw-eye".

3A) Elision can also be caused by excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, but you don't have to be from the south to experience that phenomenon.

4) Speaking with a pronounced southern accent does not necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence, but it's a pretty good warning sign. For every Jimmy Carter there's a Jeff Sessions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 17 - 05:15 PM

I don't hunt no more but I am a member of a number of NB hunting FB groups. To wit, I posted...

Well, I am glad I got out of bed this morning. Every day you learn something new is a good day. A bud living in San Diego (or, as I call it, Sandy Ego, because every time we get walloped with a snowstorm or a bitterly cold spell, his nibs posts something like, "Pretty bad here too. I had to put on a sweater when I walked the dog tonight.") is pulling up stakes and moving to NC. He is in the midst of all that goes with selling, buying, and moving house and he posted today that he is in a most serious coddiwomple. Yeah, me too. He's always writing stuff like that... boy was born with a dictionary up his ass.

So I asked Mr. Google and found out that at least half the time I spent in the woods over forty some years was spent coddiwompling.

"Coddiwomple (v.) Origin: English Slang Word. Definition: To travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination."

Now, today, with no wind, mild temperature, little snow in nearby woods, and frozen ground, I could do some serious coddiwompling to aid in the 2017 hunting seasons. Or just go scouting for new territory. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 17 - 04:53 PM

Humph!!! In addition to the need for grit to eat grits, grit is used both on roads in the winter (or oil spills) and in sandblasting. Grit is found in/on sandpaper and here.


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