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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Nov 04 - 04:15 PM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 04:24 PM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 04:26 PM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 04:42 PM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 05:16 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 04 - 09:40 AM
GUEST,Tweed 02 Nov 04 - 10:39 AM
MMario 02 Nov 04 - 10:56 AM
Acme 02 Nov 04 - 11:30 AM
Amos 02 Nov 04 - 01:11 PM
GUEST,Tweed 02 Nov 04 - 01:23 PM
Amos 02 Nov 04 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM
Amos 02 Nov 04 - 06:32 PM
Rustic Rebel 02 Nov 04 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 04 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,Tweed 03 Nov 04 - 09:10 AM
Amos 03 Nov 04 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 03 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM
Acme 03 Nov 04 - 11:42 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 04 - 10:13 AM
Acme 04 Nov 04 - 10:32 AM
Rustic Rebel 05 Nov 04 - 03:14 AM
Acme 05 Nov 04 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 04 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 04 - 01:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 Nov 04 - 04:49 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 Nov 04 - 04:55 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 04 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 04 - 10:00 AM
JennyO 06 Nov 04 - 11:03 AM
Rapparee 06 Nov 04 - 07:21 PM
Acme 06 Nov 04 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 04 - 12:14 AM
GUEST,Patrick Henry 07 Nov 04 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM
khandu 07 Nov 04 - 09:32 PM
khandu 07 Nov 04 - 09:35 PM
GUEST,TweedwhoisasloKhandu 08 Nov 04 - 08:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Nov 04 - 07:47 PM
Amos 08 Nov 04 - 08:23 PM
Acme 08 Nov 04 - 09:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Nov 04 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 04 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 04 - 10:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Nov 04 - 11:43 AM
Amos 09 Nov 04 - 02:38 PM
Amos 09 Nov 04 - 02:40 PM
Amos 09 Nov 04 - 02:41 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 04:15 PM

Why sure they are, Rap!! 'Course!! What d'ye think? The biggest hamburger maker in the known universe is going to cheat its customers? That wouldn't be very nice, would it??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 04:24 PM

all Mc Donald's burgers come from cows? c'mon Amos - pull the other one! Who would believe *THAT*! unless of course "beef patties" is a euphemism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 04:26 PM

Beef patties are patties made from beef, a generic term for meaty substances deriving from cows, including, of course, gristle, chips of bone, the occasional rat's tail, and perhaps a tennis ball or two but those are accidentals.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 04:42 PM

DEBUNKING FACT 6: McDonald's releases a letter from the U.S. Secretary of Agriculture in 1982, attesting to McDonald's burger's pure beef content. It was used as proof in a rebuttal press conference on October 1 of that year, against the rumor.

Now, I grant you, that was 22 years ago. They've had time to really change things. But to what? Kangaroo meat??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 04:58 PM

What about this one, then?? Hey?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 05:16 PM

"Beef Pattie" was a girl I knew in college. So did the soccer team, the band, most of the largest men's dorm, and the local National Guard unit (the other one).

Her brother, "Pork Patttie" was quite a hit with the women's dorms, i understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 09:40 AM

Good morning, Mother. It's Election Day in the USA.

The BS here has been outstanding, hasn't it? Excellent quality, and good quantity. The ambience is truly wonderful, the dishes are clean, the floors swept, and there are no little bits of food between the tines of the forks. Amos uses the spitoon, Little Hawk keeps his hands outside the covers, and even the toothpicks are unused!

But Mom, there is bad news. But there is also good news.

The bad news is that this is Election Day and that means the last day for the BS that has been spewing out of televisions, radios, newspapers, and even certain threads at the Mudcat Cafe.

The good news, dear MOAB, is that this is Election Day and that means the last day for the BS that has been spewing out of televisions, radios, newspapers, and even certain threads at the Mudcat Cafe. Of course, it wasn't of such quality as to appear here.

Perhaps tomorrow we can all be nice to each other again, huh, Mom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 10:39 AM

Rawpierrez, we are allus nice to one anobvther in MOAB. I bleve that it is the only thread whar flaming never occurs!

There is safety in BS, it is a place of no discipline and anarchy. I am thinking that along with the Green party thar should be a MOAB party for 2008, whar everthing said and sworn to iz automatically known to be pure BS! Tharfore, ar nation could save hunderds obv dollars by nebver needing to investigate ennything thet the MOAB President trotted out on the TV, az all Americans wuld know az soon as he pulled out the maps and grapphs thet it were all a big danged lie and not become insensed by nothin' that didn't turn out later.

I surprise myself sometimes and am sure thet I surprise you all as well wif these gems obv wisdom thet sometimes just pore outta me!

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 10:56 AM

of course there is no flaming on MOAB - the methane level is so high that it would be self-immolation if it did occur. Self-preservation is one commonality of most posters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 11:30 AM

Good point, MMario! Suttee is not on my list of "things to do today."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 01:11 PM

Mom,

I know I have been vehement, vociferous, insistent, sometimes raucous, adamant, irrepressible, ineluctable, loud and demanding in my remarks about the campaign. I promise to stop after today (unless the Republicans win). Being a gracious winner is in my breeding.

I apologize for all those whom I have bored, annoyed, upset, disturbed, harassed, crushed, beleaguered or irritated with my rhetoric. I can only plead that a very important political turn is ahead, and we must be the best we can be for it. That makes Kerry's election terribly important.

Thank for being understanding.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 01:23 PM

Amos, I hearby nominate you as MOAB Party Candidate for President. Yore glibbnefs obv tong and rawpierre-like wit is just what the country needs. And you can talk franch wif the best obv them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 01:26 PM

Sure. And if everyone knows that everything out of my mouth is BS, I have no problem speaking my mind freely! LOL


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

Is there any reason I can't run against Amos, but still within the same party?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 06:32 PM

Well, why? I need a Veep, and if you don't want to be my Veep, I can be YOUR Veep. I yam easy, cuz I know how Fate works and either one will be fine!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 06:53 PM

This just might take a revolution and I'm in on it.
(Get up-stand up, don't give up the fight.)
I personally elect myself as advisor of things that are not advisable.
Rustic.. AOTTANA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 07:00 PM

Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door
Be sure you're wearing a chute before you're out the door....

Why can't we both be veeps?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 09:10 AM

You CAN botfh be veeps in parlellel if that iz yore desire!    ....and since in four more years the country will be so dumbed down, the time will then be right.

Yaz,for I, TweedwhoisasloKhandu will rain in parlellel az KHING OBV AMERICA!!!


Rainpeer and Amos will be adopted and becomb The Royal Dolphines and thus bof be in line for the thron should subverbsiebves or obther miscreents ob simbilar ilk cause Our untimely demise.

Bark and let all Harolds sing!

Long libve, KhanduwhoisasloTweedwhoisasloKhanduwhoisasloTweedwhoisasloKhandu!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 09:37 AM

I allus wanned to be a Dolphin!!! ANd now a Royale one!! That's so neat!!

Miz Rustic, I believe the role of Advisor on Things Unadvisable will become one of the critical roles of our generation and very important and I commend you for naming the unnameable position and reaching for the unreachable salary this way. Applause, kudos and paradoxes be unto you for this Manifestation of Virtue!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM

Good. I wanna be Veep of the Money, Secrete Police and the Military. Amos can be Veep of the WW* Grope.





*Wimps and Wussies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 11:42 PM

Different animal in the White House altogether now, darnit. Not a royal dolphin (dauphin?) but a royal ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:13 AM

Now that the Pressydent is once more one of the Elect, I must take off my mask, strip off my costume, pull my sword outa the stone, and reveal to all and sundry the answer to their heartfelt question. Specifically, I must reveal my Secret Identity in answer to your oft-asked question, "Who the hell was that Masked Man who shot holes in my barn, consensually ravished my sister and/or daugher, broke my mixer, stepped on my cat, tripped over my puppy, trampled my garden, and whose horse crapped all over my porch and front walk? And why doesn't he take his horse to vet for treatment of those scours, anyway?"

Well, yeah, that really two questions, but they are oft-asked. Especially the last one.

I will now reveal my secret identity.

I am, in reality, not the shy, retiring, modest, bespectaculed, sunk-chested, round-shouldered, wimpy, tongue-tied, flatulent, hermit of a librarian I have pretended to be.

No. I stand revealed before you now as the Champion of Truth, Justice, Good For All Peoples Everywhere, Mercy, Caring, and All Things Good, Bright, and Beautiful. Yes, I admit it. I am really


(drums and trumpets flourish!)












John Ashcroft, Attorney General of the United State of America.



And my agents are knocking down or on your doors as you read this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 04 - 10:32 AM

Looks like our pal Amos has skedaddled fer a piece of quiet time. . . (no one is ever going to pay me to write regional dialog!) so we're gonna have to heft this thread ourselves for a while.

Good thing yesterday was gray, sodden, and cold around here. It exactly suited my mood. Today is glorious, but that's because life must go on, and it's in the clear light of day in which we can see what must be done in the near future. And for Amos--"Gone Fishin'" may be that something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 03:14 AM

You deciving, manipulating sack of big ol" horseshit. How do you even dare to come across as a friend of MOAB when in reality your are nothing but a big ol" sack of horseshit.
(This is where I insert some kind of smile in type print, you sack of horseshit pretend John A. sshole want to run my life but if you think you can and I don't you won't asshole)

I love everybody!
I love people
I love, love
I love you.


Anyone know where Bee-dubya-ell is? Is he okay? Did he get blown away, by a hurricane?

Changing the subject, not only do I want to reveal that I am doing exercises to make my tounge longer and stronger, but I am also realizing that I can be a strong tounge if anyone wants to listen to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 10:40 AM

Rustic, I'm assuming you're addressing the uncloseted Ashcroft, and not myself or the Absent Amos, when you throw around the recycled bails of hay moniker? But you're wise to bring to our attention the absence of BWL. I'll have to go look for one of the substantive threads and ask pertinent questions.

There was something else I was going to ask--it has slipped past--just on the tip of my tongue. . .

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 10:52 AM

I have been wondering where he is as well. He's not in one of my prisons or in custody, at least not that I know about.

Oh, heck. I'm not really John Ashcroft.

I'm really George W. Bush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 01:43 PM

Oh, poop. Alright, I'm not really George W. Bush, either.

I'm really Sir j0hn from Hull and leader of the free world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:49 PM

Well now Mr. John from Hull that's much better.

Stilly, I was throwing around the hay bails full of cow turds only directly to Mr. John Ashcroft, who incidentally can't seem to remember who he really is at the moment. I would never call my friends such words unless they truely deserved it or belonged to the asshole club of the month.

I still wonder about Bee-Dub though. I think I'll check his last post also, maybe he left a clue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 04:55 PM

Well I checked on Bee-dubya-Ell. His last post was Sept. 13th and he was talking like he might have to pack up and head for the hills because of hurricane Ivan. He thought it might take his electric out and he mentioned Arkansas. Hopefully they're alright.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 06:42 PM

I sent him an email (to the email address on his Profile page) and haven't heard anything.

I could probably track down his phone number, I suppose.... Hate to bother someone, though.

I'm not really Sir j0hn from Hull.

I'm really not myself, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 10:00 AM

Here, Mom. Have a glass of beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 11:03 AM

Yes mom, have some of this - parallax lager


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 07:21 PM

Have some of this brew, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 11:37 PM

I did a bit of a search, and came across an article about Bruce's beard, but nothing current. Nothing in Switchboard.com


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 12:14 AM

Lemme get home and see what I can do....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Patrick Henry
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 01:37 PM

American Library Association:

"The freedom to read is essential to our democracy. It is continuously under attack… These actions apparently arise from a view that our national tradition of free expression is no longer valid; that censorship and suppression are needed to avoid the subversion of politics and the corruption of morals.
 ...
Why is Intellectual Freedom Important? Intellectual freedom is the basis of our democratic system. We expect our people to be self-governors. But to do so responsibly, our citizenry must be well informed. Libraries provide the ideas and information, in a variety of formats, to allow people to inform themselves....

We trust Americans to recognize propaganda and misinformation, and to make their own decisions about what they read and believe."

And that's no BS!

Pat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM

Ah, Pat, why are you telling us this? I'm the Director of a public library and there seem to be more librarians than any other profession in the Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:32 PM

Well the day after tomorrow is Presidential election day in the Etherial Kingdom. (We always go a week later to avoid the rush!) I'll not be voting for Barry Goldwater again this time. I voted for him four years ago & things have just gotten worse. I voted for him because of his running mate, Mr. Miller...I always loved his "Sing Along" TV show, though many have argued that the goatee doesn't really "look" Vice Presidential. But I digress...

   So tomorrow evening we should know if it's gonna be Hubert or Richard. I hope it won't be Richard because his Veep has a name which, by rearranging the letters, can spell "Grow A Penis", which is made worse by having a boss known as "Dick"!

   But I guess we have faced worse things...

kwhoisasloT


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:35 PM

Correction:
I said "So tomorrow evening we should..."
I meant Tuesday evening!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,TweedwhoisasloKhandu
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:42 AM

Well, as you may be aware, the elections at Tweedland were held already. I don't know exactly what day but I am reinstated as President for Life again.
Bobertz has sniffed out a conspiracy and the twins are making my life more than comfortable.
Podunk Times Article

Yores truly,
Papadoc TweedwhoisasloKhanny
President for Life


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 07:47 PM

I'm back! Fuck ya'll an' kiss my ass!

Khandu, how come so many of the damned intersections in yore kingdom that orta have traffic signals is four-way stops instead? Is you afraid summa them drunkass Mizzippi shitbirds'll use th' redlights fer target practice?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:23 PM

Welcome home, Bruce!! Glad ya made it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:50 PM

It's about time you got back over here, Bruce! I saw a thread started about your adventures, so I'll go read that one. But I hope we get the unexpurgated version here at the MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 10:09 PM

Unexpurgated? Well, one thing I didn't mention in that other thread is that a tree smashed the outhouse. Well, I guess it's not really an outhouse. It's just a latrine made from two-by-fours, a tarp, and a hole. But it does have a nice toilet seat. We call it the "Party Pooper" 'cause our indoor composting toilet doesn't handle crowds very well so when we have a party we just lock the bathroom door and anybody that can't handle shittin' in the woods can just pack their ass up and go back to the city. It's repairable and it was time to move it over a few feet 'cause the hole was gettin' sorta full anyway, so it ain't no big thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 10:28 PM

Yeah, well, it's danged well time you got back here. SRS and everyone was worried sick about ya. So much so, in fact, that I went and JUST NOW got yer home phone number so that we could call and see how the hell you were or if you were dead or what. I just logged on here so's that I could pm it to SRS. Yeah, I know that it ain't easily available, not being in whowhere.com, bigbook.com, and other suchlike places and that an Internet search don't turn up much about ya (like hell it don't -- I got stuff clear back to your grades in arithmetic in second grade).

And since you won't believe me, read yer pm's.

Good to have you back, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 10:46 PM

Okay, I read yer thread.

So a little wind and rain knocked down a coupla trees. Geez, you'd think a hurricane came...oh, wait. It was a hurricane, wasn't it? I drove into one of them once, not so very long ago. They are unpleasant and I didn't enjoy it at all, nope, not one bit.

Like I said, before, welcome back. And I'm really glad it wasn't worse for you. Trees will grow back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 11:43 AM

So I just spent a few moments perusing a bit of what's been going on around here during my eight-week absence and must admit that the overall quality of the BS here has not wavered in any appreciable fashion from the meandering, circumlocutional, self-referential, ego-serving, I-can-be-more-obscure-obtuse-and-abstruse-than-you-can mode of discourse which has been its principle characteristic since shortly after Khing khandu brought it kicking, squirming and screaming into the group consciousness of those of us who have little better to do with ourselves than participate in what His Majesty himself has referred to as a "circle jerk". Now, please pass the bucket.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 02:38 PM

"High Flight"

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

John Gillespie Magee, Jr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 02:40 PM

When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night,
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
Romeo and Juliet. ACT III Scene 2.


For your cerebral entertainment, good friends....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 02:41 PM

Here Lieth The Six Thousandth Poste




A


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