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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 05 Aug 15 - 03:17 PM
gnu 05 Aug 15 - 03:32 PM
Amos 05 Aug 15 - 04:58 PM
gnu 05 Aug 15 - 05:14 PM
Amos 05 Aug 15 - 05:23 PM
Acme 05 Aug 15 - 11:59 PM
Amos 06 Aug 15 - 02:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Aug 15 - 09:08 PM
Acme 06 Aug 15 - 11:14 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 07 Aug 15 - 10:09 AM
gnu 07 Aug 15 - 05:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Aug 15 - 08:42 PM
gnu 07 Aug 15 - 10:28 PM
Amos 08 Aug 15 - 01:43 AM
gnu 08 Aug 15 - 08:09 AM
gnu 08 Aug 15 - 12:12 PM
gnu 08 Aug 15 - 06:01 PM
gnu 09 Aug 15 - 07:50 AM
gnu 09 Aug 15 - 05:20 PM
gnu 09 Aug 15 - 07:42 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 09 Aug 15 - 11:39 PM
Amos 10 Aug 15 - 12:12 AM
Amos 10 Aug 15 - 11:52 AM
GUEST,Le Bon et Grand Rapparee 10 Aug 15 - 05:58 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 10 Aug 15 - 10:09 PM
Amos 11 Aug 15 - 12:07 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 11 Aug 15 - 10:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 15 - 11:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM
Amos 11 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM
gnu 12 Aug 15 - 06:11 AM
Amos 12 Aug 15 - 10:02 PM
Acme 12 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM
Ebbie 12 Aug 15 - 11:48 PM
Amos 13 Aug 15 - 01:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 15 - 09:24 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 13 Aug 15 - 09:50 AM
gnu 13 Aug 15 - 01:16 PM
GUEST,Das Guten Rapparee 13 Aug 15 - 01:49 PM
gnu 13 Aug 15 - 05:54 PM
Amos 14 Aug 15 - 10:57 AM
Amos 14 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM
GUEST,Mad Konig Rapparee 15 Aug 15 - 01:48 PM
gnu 15 Aug 15 - 11:11 PM
gnu 16 Aug 15 - 06:58 PM
Amos 16 Aug 15 - 08:53 PM
gnu 17 Aug 15 - 08:00 AM
Amos 17 Aug 15 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 15 - 04:12 PM
gnu 17 Aug 15 - 05:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 03:17 PM

Black or red currents?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 03:32 PM

Ah, gay Paris! I was a babe. I remember the cop with the machine gun scaring the shit out of my mother whilst I was in the back seat of the car with her. I will never forget that imprint on my mind. Funny how something can stick in your memory even when you are just in diapers. She was holding my diapers out the back window to dry them and Dad got stopped as there was an ongoing threat by a faction that used a white flag as their symbol.

I wish I knew the name of the prison in Paris that Dad was kept in. Kept in a dudgeon. There were bars on a window at street level. They used their urine to slowly "scrape away the sand" below the bars. They replaced what they scraped when they knew the guards were delivering meals or might bring back a guy being "interrogated". They made a break and Dad led the way. A French cop drew his pistol and Dad ran straight at him. The cop gave Dad the pistol and the crowd closed in to stop the Germans from getting them. They got out. All except for a few who were beaten too badly to try to make a break for it. I have to stop... I am in tears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 04:58 PM

ANd why was in there in the first place?   Not the diaper, surely?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 05:14 PM

No... sorry for my foul up in communication. The diaper incident was in the late 50s while Dad was deployed at CFB 3Wing. Dad was in the prison in the early 40s... WW2. Dropped in behind the lines with a sapper (explosives engineering) team as an evasion and navigation expert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 05:23 PM

A moment of acknowledgement for a quiet hero, sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 15 - 11:59 PM

MOM, what are you doing down here on the bottom rung of the page? The boys must be out back perfecting that bullshit detector and forgot all about you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 02:36 AM

Guess the moment ran a bit long, there. We are ramping up for our flight to Erin and a week on the broad, misty back of the silver Shannon. I swan it shall be a merry and restorative time.

Maggie Darling Dogg has a small injury on her left forepaw and limps around. The vet provided an antibiotic spray and what is quaintly referred to as an E-Collar. Do you know WHY? It isn't because it's electronic, no--it is just a plastic cone that gets tightened around her neck at its narrower end and surrounds her heard like some kind of surreal acrylic halo or a megaphone with a confused soul trapped in it. No, it's called an E-collar because it looks like an Elizabethan ruff, anchored to the neck and sticking out around the face like one of those Regina Elizabeth I paintings. How about them apples?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 09:08 PM

Hi, Mom. I'm not in gay Paree. I'm in Goshen Indiana. All the male waiters at the restaurant we ate at tonight were obviously gay, but that doesn't make it gay Goshen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 15 - 11:14 PM

The last post was not looking at any adjacent remarks as BS - it was a quick drop in to boost MOAB before heading to bed. Interesting story, gnu. Is it one you've told somewhere else before now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 07 Aug 15 - 10:09 AM

Has MOABland completely emptied this week? Is anyone still at home, keeping an eye on MOM? Ireland, Paris, the upper Midwest . . . oh, wait. I'm home. I guess it's just MOM 'n me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 15 - 05:43 PM

Acme... yes but not in open forum. I should not have done so just yet. A moment infused with The Devil's Alcofluence and a 'mood'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Aug 15 - 08:42 PM

"Professional Practices for Purveyors of Pulled Pork"

Pulled pork peddlers are prohibited from pulling pork in public. All pork must be pulled in private. Purveyors will then be permitted to peddle portions of pulled pork in public, provided they have procured proper permits.

Provisions of this publication preempt any previously published procedures.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 15 - 10:28 PM

Alliteration always allows anyone an adjunct annotated amusement about anything at all. Jussayin eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 15 - 01:43 AM

There's a difference between evasive alliteration and constructive alliteration. Every critic should understand the distinction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 15 - 08:09 AM

Fresh green beans, carrots, spuds, cabbage... boiled ham dinner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 15 - 12:12 PM

Kijiji. Scope see through mounts. $10. Ad's been up for just shy of two month. My email reply to a buyer was...

Yes. 55 Leeside Drive. Take Walker Street which is across Mountain Road from the community college at the traffic lights. Walker tees on to Leeside. Turn right. First double driveway on left. White over green house. You MUST call (BEFORE 6 PM), 384-8738 before you come as I am on call 24/7. Click the box under Poster Contact Information to see my other ads.

He called at 8:45 PM. I said he would have to wait until today.

My ad was removed because : The exchange of weaponry involves far too many safety protocols for staff to enforce. As unregulated exchange of weaponry poses many potential dangers, no weapons are permitted on Kijiji, regardless of whether they are legal for sale in Canada.

What a miserable prick! I'd like to throw the mounts at him... free of charge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Aug 15 - 06:01 PM

The fucker called again 6:18 PM and hung up when I answered. If he pulls this shit again... en garde motherfucker! That there be yer Franglais for I am totally pissed and since you started it, yer gonna hafta just see how I finish it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 15 - 07:50 AM

I have just restored to a restore point. I feel refreshed but somewhat stalked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 15 - 05:20 PM

Cue the music. AUGUST NINTH, 2015. This is the weather report with Gary gnu Owens. 19? 19 fuckin C baby! And a breeze! Oh, it's cloudy and a bit misty at times but NINETEEN on August 9? I am absolutely lovin this. My windows have been open for a few days and I am in heaven... 'cept fer the fuckin crows. I swear, if I get a terminal illness diagnosis, crows will fuckin die. Bastards wake me up at zero dark hundred hours? I'll gladly eat crow. And I'll have a full belly given the amount of incessant cawing that goes on before my alarm clock goes off. But... 19C in August? WOW! And, I saw a hummingbird today... early fall baby! Then, with the moons and signs on the go, a long and cold winter with little snow*.

*Offer prohibited where Mom Nature is a bitch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 15 - 07:42 PM

I was just out for a walk and the breeze BLEW. I almost came back in to grab a hoody! Then, I remembered I am a Canuck and not some pussy from the tropical climes and sucked it up and went nipply in just a tee. Not 'cut glass' nipply but sort of nipply. Well, my ears did hurt from the cool breeze but I do have ears from the LeBlanc side of the family so they are sensitive to any cold and... it's August and I almost put on a hoody because of the cool air... not to fend off skeeters while sweating! Praise Dog this is amazing weather.

I understand the heat waves and droughts in the Lotus Lands are devastating. My thoughts and prayers are with them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 09 Aug 15 - 11:39 PM

It was 106o here today (42o C). The only cool blast was when I opened the freezer looking for some venison sausage to add to the beans I made. Why cook in such weather? Well, it was too hot to go outside and I had stuff in the fridge I needed to use up. Making a pot of beans means most of it can go in there. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 12:12 AM

We are relishing balmy evening breezes after a swlretering August sort of day. Not insufferable, but velly, velly, warm like, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 11:52 AM

I found our Mom sinking low, under the pressure of a high-intensity attack of banality in multiple systems. So I am lifting her weary head, soothing her fevered brow, offering a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, and looking for Rapparree who was supposed to be keeping an eye on her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Le Bon et Grand Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 05:58 PM

Je suis sans puer et sans reproche.

A demain je voyage a Germany. I just thought y'all would like ta know. Deutschland, Deutschland über alles....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 10:09 PM

Call home now and then. MOM appreciates it, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 12:07 AM

Oh, ya, gonna export your wicked expertise to the fine young fellows of Germany ya? THAT's a good idea.

In exchange, maybe they can help you redesign your living room?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 10:48 AM

I think he should head to the Mediterranean if he's looking for ideas to redecorate his living room(s). More air, warm rich colors. Just what a house next to a golf course needs. You want anyone playing the hole nearest the back fence to glimpse the color and shapes through the partially open blinds and envy your lifestyle. That's what redecorating is for, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 11:32 AM

Hi, Mom! I'm home from Indiana, land of corn and soybeans, and back in Floribama, land of cotton, peanuts and oppressive humidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM

Hi again, Mom. I have just returned from the emergency room. My overly energetic 65# dog bowled me over and I broke my left wrist and left ankle at about 2:30 this afternoon. The fall occurred at my pond which is about 150 yards from my house down a footpath through the woods. I did not have my phone with me, and my wife is still in Indiana visiting friends. I had to crawl back to the house on hand (singular 'cause only one was usable) and knees. Then I called a friend to take me to the hospital.

I quit now. Typing with one hand sucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM

Dear friend BWL,

I am so sorry for your recent pains and tribulations. May the God of the Everglades look upon you with grace and relieve you of your suffering.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 06:11 AM

Ditto Amos. Heal well and soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 10:02 PM

Mom's sons and daughters--scattered! The wounded lying about like so many broken branches after a gale! The parted and departed and imparted and un-parted flying hither and yon! The Guns of August are growing still, their brave cannoneers shaken, muted, dazed and staggering about the planet.

But I say to you, FEAR NOT!! Be NOT dismayed!! Be bold, and hale!! Heal and flourish!! Prosper and rally!! Come forth jeering and blaring and sneering and cavorting! For verily a NEW DAY shall reign upon this land that is Mudcat, and at its dawn the SPIRIT OF BS will again rise up and reign over the harmony and cacaphonic delights of free spirits near and far!!

Mark ye my very words!

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM

That dog wouldn't be a Labrador retriever, would it? Mine has knocked a couple of us ass-over-applecart at least once. He's a great dog, but every now and then he just can't contain his excitement. That's why he lives with me now, instead of my more fragile friend (who was on the losing end of an automobile/pedestrian encounter and she is weak on the left side as a consequence. He was too much for her before that accident). I suspect your wife will hurry home, but she probably won't type your posts to MOAB for you. One out of two isn't bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 11:48 PM

BWL: sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:34 AM

What, she can't type, take dictation? Come on, BW! This is MOM we're talking about...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 09:24 AM

The guilty dog is a mix breed. Definitely some pit bull. Possibly some Lab as she loves water. She just showed up on our doorstep a couple of years ago. No mean feat since our driveway is 1/4 mile long through the woods.

Future trips home from the pond will be prefaced by, "Tina, calm down!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 09:50 AM

Pitbull enthusiasm is a sight to behold. My pit smiles (the showing her teeth and snorting kind of smile) and her tail circles like a helicopter blade. Mix that with lab and you have a potent mix. I'm glad to hear you're keeping the dog (or is she keeping you). Don't let a couple of broken bones come between a good relationship. MOM understands that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:16 PM

If it was a Collie, it woulda gone for help. If I ever get a dog, I am gonna get me a Lassie dog on accounta I need a lot of help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Das Guten Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:49 PM

Geez, I go away for a while and....

Talked with Alanabit yesterday. Please remind me to tell when I return on the 19th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 05:54 PM

Did you get to meet him, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 15 - 10:57 AM

The Rapparree is on the prowl
In foreign parts, upon me sowl
Just like some weird old cranky owl
Or some demented barnyard fowl.

But Mom forgives her wandering brood
Although they're up to no damn good
She's always somehow understood
That travel is but reflection's food.

And when the wandering Bookman comes
She'll sound the trumpets and the drums
Or maybe just sit on her thumbs
In earnest celebration!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM

The silence is long but the voices are golden
And BS is poor when 'tis only beholden
But free BS songs, as in times that were olden
Shall rise in Mom's parlor before her tent's folding.

Let chimes and let harmonies rise from our breast
And form from ether mom"s bright golden crest
The bold rampant Taurus, the prince of BS
The brightest, the loudest, the drollest, the best.

The Booqueman, the Gnuzer, the bold BWL
The ambiguous Dwyer from the fa Dallas knell
The Emm-Man, the Hawkster, with his creatures so fell,
And other stray poets too random to tell.

As our Mom seems to languish, they will not stand by
Nor idly observe with superior eye
But will leap to the fray, letting loud BS fly
To raise her once more to her station on high.

With Donder and Blitzen they will loudly proclaim
The Dwarfs they'll invoke, each summoned by name
And all of the old gods will dance to the flame
Lit by heros of MOAB to lift up her name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mad Konig Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 15 - 01:48 PM

Here in Schwangau, in the shadow of the castle my family actually owns, I can but wish Mom "Guten Abend" und wonder why y'all let her sink so low. No, I did not get a chance to meet with him -- I'll explain all when I'm not typing on an iPod.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 15 - 11:11 PM

Dog Gammit! The lyrics are

"Where men blow and women chunder." I have it on VINYL!

Why do all the lyrics sites state otherwise? Even all the vids on YT! Hear my thunder! I am pissed about this. All Australians, nay, ALL of the Commonwealth nations should rise up and respectfully request, if it's okay of course, that the lyrics sites post the original lyrics of such a monumental folk song. These are men at work for gosh sake! Show some fucking respect, mates.

BTW... YT that mother and listen to the various versions, old and new. It's a trip, kiddies. Trust me and pour a glass of red first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 15 - 06:58 PM

Soya sauce at 48% of yer daily salt intake at fuck all quantity has a BB date? I just read the bottle... Nov 8 2012. I used it. I expect to post tomorrow. BB dates bother me. Take Campbell's soup fer yer example. Best before? The Yankee military requires a minimum fourty year shelf life for canned goods and they buy from Campbell. It may not be "fresh" but it still tastes okay if ya boil it fer a bit (and add some fresh veggies). These BB dates are misleading at best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 15 - 08:53 PM

Look, my friends. Each of you is an infininte and powerful, unbound and untrammeled source of good stuff and high-energy decisions, miracles of resolution and intent which come to be in reality purely because of the unadulterated power of your own abilities to make reality follow your lead. Selling out to the world of dull mechanism, chemistry, stimuls-response and sad effect of space, mass, entropy and time is a cosmic betrayal of all you are at your highest and best. So instead of worrying about what you put into or get out of your various bodily orifices, lets drill out to the important stuff--the high powered intentions with which you keep the show rolling along! There's an infinite array of dull-witted material junk, but there's only one You standing back of the scenes. Don't be fooled!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 08:00 AM

Well excUUUUUse me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 03:36 PM

Oy,I have stepped on toes all unmeaning to. I yam sorry, friend Gnu. I did not mean personal offense. What I said was perfectly reasonable, IMHO, but it was not intended as a jab at your good self. The substance of it, I believe, has considerable merit...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 04:12 PM

I have long preferred to sit in the middle of the web, each nuance of the threads telling me of some hapless prey entrapped, rather than stand behind the scenes and emote. For I am the Spider King, the gray personage from which all flows and to which all homage is due.

M. le gnu, je believe en vous und ich gedanken that you est trop gut at le merde de taurus. SVP, stick around und nich worry auf Amos. L'est un player aug guitaren mais nicht gutten as Sie being.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 05:06 PM

Fuck it's hot. 39C last I checked the thermo meter. Add the humdidity and she's over 45H. However, I got the near 15kBtu mini-split humpin in the living room and the 12kBtu portable humpin about 3 feet away from me in the office which is assisted by a box fan in the office door so... I'm cool.

Now, it's not Texas hot but, then again, everything is bigger in Texas.

It was hot in our provincial capital this AM. Charles the Blogger is a local hero. He goes after politicians with a videocam and doesn't hold back. Been in a court more than once. Here is a still from his YT vid today. Oh, yeah... HARPER Harper! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153531569735775&set=a.10150366222730775.403848.641115774&type=1


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