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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Teresa 05 Feb 05 - 09:24 PM
Teresa 05 Feb 05 - 09:31 PM
MOAB 05 Feb 05 - 10:29 PM
Acme 06 Feb 05 - 12:56 AM
Teresa 06 Feb 05 - 05:31 AM
Dave Hanson 06 Feb 05 - 06:07 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 09:59 AM
MOAB 06 Feb 05 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM
Amos 06 Feb 05 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 11:06 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Feb 05 - 12:29 PM
Acme 06 Feb 05 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 01:05 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya through the back door 06 Feb 05 - 02:49 PM
Teresa 06 Feb 05 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 05:02 PM
Acme 06 Feb 05 - 05:50 PM
Amos 06 Feb 05 - 05:57 PM
khandu 06 Feb 05 - 06:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM
GUEST,Justa Picker (by proxy) 06 Feb 05 - 08:04 PM
khandu 06 Feb 05 - 08:07 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Feb 05 - 09:48 PM
Acme 06 Feb 05 - 09:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 09:59 PM
khandu 06 Feb 05 - 10:03 PM
Bunnahabhain 06 Feb 05 - 10:08 PM
Layah 06 Feb 05 - 10:09 PM
khandu 06 Feb 05 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 10:12 PM
Layah 06 Feb 05 - 10:16 PM
khandu 06 Feb 05 - 10:17 PM
Layah 06 Feb 05 - 10:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 10:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 05 - 11:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 05 - 11:44 PM
Layah 07 Feb 05 - 12:02 AM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 02:19 AM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 07 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM
Amos 07 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:34 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 09:24 PM

Oh, wait, I think I might be one of those dangerous peple on the spatula front.

So I'm off to play now! Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 09:31 PM

Bee-dubya,

huh? Where'd that come from?

[shaking my head in puzzlement]

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 10:29 PM

Teresa, honey, sometimes Bee-dubya gets an urge to be like Martin Gibson or Gargoyle. In other words, he gets an urge to be an asshole. But Bee-dubya's scared people won't like him if he's too rude to them. So, sometimes when he gets an uncontrollable urge to be an asshole, he comes over here to the MOAB and yaks out something like what he did a few posts ago. It's sort of the cyber equivalent of sticking your head inside a broom closet and screaming. Think nothing of it. He's been doing it for years now and we're all used to it.

Love,

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 12:56 AM

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce! This is your family--and as I tell my teenaged daughter, the fact that she can assume we still love her even if she takes us for granted and doesn't always behave politely, doesn't mean that she should take us for granted or behave impolitely.

Go to your room.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 05:31 AM

Alone, even. :):)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 06:07 AM

Made it at last.

eric


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 09:59 AM

Welcome to all the unwashed, benighted, unenlightened who will be posting here for the first time. You are now washed, nighted, and enlightened. Welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:19 AM

Yes, children, someone has started a "Who Hasn't Posted to the Mother Of All BS Threads thread. Probably means we'll be having visitors. So clean up your rooms and be on your best behavior. Rapaire and Amos, try not to be too abstruse. And go easy on the French. And Bee-dubya honey, try not to say "fuck" while they're here. Okay? My, I'm glad Tweed's away from his computer for a few days. I love the boy but he can be a source of embarrassment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:22 AM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Teresa hit me with her cane!! Make her stop doing that!!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!! Bee-Dubya's in the bathroom and he won't unlock the door so other people can use it and we have guests coming and I gotta go weewee!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:52 AM

Anyone notice that Rapaire is developing a distinct talent for rampant juvenile acting out?
Hmmmmm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 11:06 AM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Amos wants me to act my age! Make him stop! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 12:29 PM

Visitors? Where?
It's about time we had some fresh blood round here.
I'll start sharpening the ritual sacrificial spatualas.

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 01:01 PM

HaHa! Bunnahabhain, I've considered you "fresh blood" in the little time you've been here! I feel like a newcomer since I've been posting only since the high 1000's. I think. I'll leave it to one of The Boys to go back and find my first post.

Écoutez moi ! Nettoyez vos salles, essuyez la merde sous vos lits, et préparez-vous aux visiteurs !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 01:05 PM

If nobody shows up, can I eat the cake?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya through the back door
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 02:49 PM

Nah! Just leave the cake out in the rain. We can all sit around and watch the sweet green icing flowing down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 03:07 PM

I did *not* hit rapaire with my cane!!! Mooooom!!!!!

But I wouldn't rule it out. ;)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 05:02 PM

If Teresa didn't hit me, who di...BEE-DUBYA!! He's old and gray! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Bee-Dubya's doing it again!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 05:50 PM

It took a while, but I found my earliest MOAB post. Here. I'm not sure what number it was, but there it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 05:57 PM

Stilly River Sage began her noted career as a Mudcat poster in October of 2001, at 12:17 Mudcat time, by posting to the "Perfect singers" thread in the following wise:

Maria Callas and Karen Carpenter in the same sentence? Now that is eclectic listening!

Since you're naming some folks who are long gone, a couple of regional voices should be named, for the character as much as the voice: Ivar Haglund and Don McCune. Wonderful voices. Throw in Stan Boreson and you have the Seattle tv triumvirate of the 1960's.

Richard Dyer-Bennett -- well, he was just about perfect.


She then proceeded to post 6,254 more times, ending with the following remark on the "Mother of All BS" thread:

t took a while, but I found my earliest MOAB post. Here. I'm not sure what number it was, but there it is


Regards,

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 06:06 PM

I was inspired by the "Have you posted to MOAB thread to, uh, post to MOAB. Having never been here before, I don't really know my way around so maybe some of you old-timers may help me.

What is the generally accepted behaviour here? Can I say "shit" without causing an uproar? Are Jokes accepted? What about "Tweed' jokes? Would anyone here like to jock mahoney?

I often make unplanned deletions on my computer...is it safe for me to be here?

I have been known to consort with the Knause brothers, Sheeny & Shiney. Is that considered taboo here?

Some one help me.

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM

All hail King khandu, Monarch of Mississippi!

How ya been, Ken? We coulda used your input while spatula-mania was running rampant around this place. But it's purty much played out now. In a month or so we'll all be goin' "What the fuck was that all about?"

To answer your questions:

What is the generally accepted behaviour here?
You must be completely nude at all times. Smoking is permitted.

Can I say "shit" without causing an uproar?
No. In fact, you may not say anything here. But you may type anything you please. Max can't afford the software or the bandwidth for us to actually say things to each other. The exception, of course, is Teresa. Have you met Teresa? No? Well, take a moment and introduce yourself. Because she is blind, her computer says things to her. Ask her what "%#@&**@+!" sounds like.

Are Jokes accepted?
No, this is a serious discussion forum dedicated to the eradication of world peace.

What about "Tweed' jokes?
Only if equal time is privided for denim jokes, gabardine jokes and gray flannel jokes.

Would anyone here like to jock mahoney?
No. But you are welcome to jock your own mahoney as often as you see fit.

I often make unplanned deletions on my computer...is it safe for me to be here?







I have been known to consort with the Knause brothers, Sheeny & Shiney. Is that considered taboo here?
It's not taboo, but you might want to reconsider hangin' out with Sheeny since he has joined an ashram and spends several hours a day following his guru, Baba Bahnahna Dakree, around with his nose stuck in Baba's butt-crack.

We hope you will have a pleasant and comfortable stay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Justa Picker (by proxy)
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 08:04 PM

I haven't opened it (the MOAB) nor will I.
I already know intuitively it is a colossal waste of hard drive space.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 08:07 PM

bee-dubya, didn't you once work as a Wal-Mart greeter? You are certainly   
qualified! You made me feel right at home here at MOAB!

I feel much more secure now, but if I make a gaffe, please tell me quickly as I do not want to offend!

The spatula thing sounds exciting!! I will time travel back a bit & see what all of you had to say about my favorite subject! I am a lover of spatulas!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 09:48 PM

That's a good idea.
The spatula thing sounds exciting!! I will time travel back a bit & see what all of you had to say about my favorite subject! I am a lover of spatulas!!
I think I will as well
The spatula thing sounds exciting!! I will time travel back a bit & see what all of you had to say about my favorite subject! I am a lover of s
I think I will try and go a bit further back...

Bunnahabhain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 09:58 PM

Amos, it was easy to find my first post as SRS at Mudcat. The difficult one was my first post to MOAB.

Actually, you only got the first post of my current moniker. I used a different name for a while before. I lost track of the cookie so I came back as SRS, and eventually had Joe clear up the other name.

Just so you know!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 09:59 PM

Groundhog Day's over, Bunn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:03 PM

Who hasn't posted to the "Who Hasn't posted to the Mother of All Bullshit Thread?"?

I have not.

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:08 PM

Groundhog day? Should I know something about it? If so, someone please, enlighten me on US folklore. If however, if it's Bee-dubya-ell twisted imagination, don't tell me...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:09 PM

I haven't posted to the "Who Hasn't posted to the Mother of All Bullshit Thread?". Perhaps we need a new thread "Who hasn't posted to the who hasn't posted to the MOther of All BS Thred?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:12 PM

Bunn, Groundhog Day is Feb. 8.
It is a long held US custom to either eat or mate with a Groundhog on trhis day!

We are looking forward to it... BTW, we seldom eat them!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:12 PM

Good idea Layah! If you can figure out how to squeeze all that into the subject window, go for it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:16 PM

Dang length limit. Hasn't tried to start a thread before. It would require so much abbreviation as to become uniteligible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:17 PM

Layah, Hello...we have never met. I am quite happy to meet you.
Bunn, Hello...we have never met. I am quite happy to meet you, also!

And on Groundhog Day, we spend at least one full hour spending time in a random day in our past. That is to what bee-dub refers!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:24 PM

Hello khandu, it's nice to meet you to. That's not any groundhog day tradition I've ever practiced. How do you go about spending time in a random day in the past? I think that would be useful thing to know. I don't like today, but last month sometime would be really nice to spend some time in...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:26 PM

Bunn - Groundhog Day, Feb. 2nd, is a US pseudo-holiday. It's the day when the groundhog supposedly comes out of his hibernation burrow and looks around. Then if he sees his shadow winter's supposed to be almost over and if he doesn't see his shadow we're all gonna die or some such horseshit. Anyway, there was a movie made several years ago in which a television newsperson, played by Bill Murray, went to a town where they have a Groundhog Day celebration, got trapped in a timewarp, and lived the same day, Groundhog Day, over and over again.

Your post reminded me of the timewarp idea and since Groundhog Day was just a few days ago... But I forgot you're across the pond.

They don't have Hedgehog Day over there, do they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 10:40 PM

By the way, Bunn, what is the significance of "Bunnahabhain"? Is it your real name? The name of a demon of whom you are extremely fond? The name of a nearby hill where restless spirits roam the night?

I like the short form, BUNN because it makes good coffee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 11:24 PM

Bee-Dubya, you're embarassing us and Mom. Surely you've read Watership Down, haven't you? That's about a haven for rabbits -- a bunny haven. You know very well from your studies of the Q-Celtic languages that "Bunnahabhain" is Elderich Cornish for "Bunny Haven." Obviously, Bunn has a "thing" for rabbits. And it would be rude, not to mention possibly disgusting, to inquire further. Bunn has never asked about you and pot, hmmmmmmmmm?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 05 - 11:44 PM

I apologize. I read a few pages of Watership Down and a loud voice asked me "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU READING THIS SHIT FOR?" I told the loud voice that I wasn't really sure, but that he shouldn't holler in libraries. That made him angry and he snatched the book from my hand and threw it out the window. It landed on top of a university police car with two university policepeople in it and I thought it would be better to forget about the book than to try to explain to them how it got on top of the cop car.

From that day on, I figured that if the power that created the universe wanted me to read Watership Down he/she/it would drop a copy out of the sky and have it land on top of my own car, but it hasn't happened yet.

But it's nice to know that the guy who wrote the book named a character after a coffee maker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 12:02 AM

You people disgust me. You read bunny haven and immediately assume the worst. It could be a totally innocent love of pet bunnies. Besides which, it obviously comes from Yiddish, meaning somebody who has buns. I can just see you all about to misinterpret that one too. Well in Yiddish the word bun does not have any other meaning, so it won't work. We're obviously talking about bread products here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 02:19 AM

Yeah, Rapaire, he did it; I saw him hit you. I mean ... um, I heard the rich voice and mellifluous strains and smelled the aromatic breezes of BS, I did, and I said to myself "Hey, 'at 'air's bee-dubya; yep,'at's right." :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 AM

Woops, I forgot to pay homage to the king of BS ... hello khandu! We've met formally and formerly on this very thread, but it was close to a year back, or was that eons? :) Some other parallel MOAB (can there be more than one?)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

Yes, Teresa, there CAN be more than one, but to get to them you would have to travel into parallel universes. Such travel is very, very complicated and difficult and should not be undertaken without proper equipment and training.

The best way is to gird your loins with a gladius, a targe, a complete set of bagpipes (the big Scottish war pipes are best), a parfleche containing dried corn, dried meat and/or fish and/or berries, warm clothing, at least 10 liters of water or other drink of your choice, several feet of logging chain, a lariat, two or three bodhrans, and a copy of the complete writings of either Paul Dirac or Ted Gissell.

Properly outfitted, you must find then find a rabbit warren, as the tunnels in bunny havens are the easiest (and only non-lethal) way to journey to these other universes (the others involve black holes, blue event horizons, and stuff like those). Crawl through the bunny tunnels (old-time MOABites call them "bunny tunnies"), following every twist and turn, and eventually you will see a White Rabbit chasing a pre-pubescent girl. Follow them, and after you pass through the place where The King is sleeping with Sir Francis Drake's drum, turn left and continue straight on until morning. And there you'll be.

Tweed and Khandu went off on such a journey together, and they only made it part-way back. That's why they're not around here as much as they used to be -- they're only partly with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM

Slight correction, Rapaire. While Tweed and Khandu did in fact go off on such a journey, they didn't exactly do it together. Tweed's point of embarkation was Tweedsburg, located in the wilds of Palm Beach County while khandu set out from the Royal Palace in Tupelo, otherwise known as Uncle Tink's Place. They arrived at their mutual destination a couple of miliseconds apart, but in that particular universe time moves so slowly that a milisecond is like a week in our own universe. Tweed, who arrived first, quickly ran out of Newport Lights and had to find a Seven-Eleven to buy more. Khandu arrived while Tweed was out scoring smokes and hung around until he was overtaken by a Big Mac attack and had to hie to the nearest MacDonalds. Needless to say, Tweed arrived back at the Destination Point while khandu was out. This type of thing went on for several more miliseconds with them continually missing each other for one reason or another until they finally both said "Fuck it!" and went back home.

Tweed and khandu... Like two turds in the same sewer... Destined to flow by each other a thousand times yet, somehow, never to touch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM

Rapaire had a similar adventure during his move from Never-Never Land to Idaho in a big truck.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM

Doesn't have to happen that way, though. I've made lots of cross-country trips in my pickemup truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM

or go to you local Library and hang in the stacks after hours. Fastest route to an alternate universe that exists.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM

Are you guys paying attention? I am not a football fan, but I do know about blocking the offensive action of a "double-ought" crasher. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM

Hang in there, Leo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:34 AM

Darned slow DSL today.


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