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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:55 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:59 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 03:03 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 03:04 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 03:18 PM
MMario 30 Aug 05 - 03:25 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 05:33 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 08:19 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 11:03 PM
Amos 31 Aug 05 - 01:20 AM
Rapparee 31 Aug 05 - 09:24 AM
Amos 31 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM
MMario 31 Aug 05 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 31 Aug 05 - 03:54 PM
Acme 01 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM
Rapparee 01 Sep 05 - 10:32 AM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 10:35 AM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM
Acme 01 Sep 05 - 02:16 PM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 03:01 PM
Amos 01 Sep 05 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 01 Sep 05 - 04:58 PM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 01:41 AM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 02:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Sep 05 - 02:50 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Sep 05 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 02 Sep 05 - 09:11 AM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 09:38 AM
MMario 02 Sep 05 - 09:43 AM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 05 - 01:40 PM
Amos 02 Sep 05 - 02:03 PM
Acme 02 Sep 05 - 04:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 03 Sep 05 - 07:27 AM
Rapparee 03 Sep 05 - 09:08 AM
Acme 03 Sep 05 - 10:19 AM
Acme 03 Sep 05 - 04:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 01:05 AM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 10:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 12:19 PM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 02:43 PM
Amos 04 Sep 05 - 03:27 PM
Acme 04 Sep 05 - 11:57 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Sep 05 - 05:14 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:55 PM

"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

          Will Rogers, 1897-1935


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM

"If you pick up a starving Dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man..."


Mark Twain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:59 PM

"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man
up to his level of sagacity, but man has frequently
dragged the dog down to his."

          James Thurber


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:03 PM

"I am I because my little dog knows me"
- Gertrude Stein)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:04 PM

"No Matter how little money and how few possessions,
you own, having a dog makes you rich."

Louis Sabin
All About Dogs As Pets


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:18 PM

That's my last duckdog painted on the wall,
Looking as if he were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now: FrÓ Amos' hands
Worked busily a day, and there he stands.
Will't please you sit and look at him?
Sir, 'twas not his master's presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the duckdog's cheek: perhaps
FrÓ Amos chanced to say "His collar laps
Over my Gluon's neck too much," or "Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-drool that dies along his jowls": such stuff
Was courtesy, he thought, and cause enough               20
For calling up that spot of joy. He had
A heart -- how shall I say? -- too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; he liked whate'er
He looked on, and his spit went everywhere.
Sir, 'twas all one! He raced around the terrace -- all and each
Would draw from him alike the approving speech,          30
Or bark, at least. He licked men, -- good! but licked
Somehow -- I know not how -- as if he ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old bone
With anybody's gift. Who'd stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech -- (which I have not) -- to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, "Just this
Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss,
Or there exceed the mark" -- and if he let
Himself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
His wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse,
--E'en then would be some stooping, and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, he smiled, no doubt,
Whene'er I passed him; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all was retrieved together. There he stands
As if alive. Will't please you rise? We'll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master's known munificence
Is ample warrant that no just pretence                              
Of mine for bones and Alpo will be disallowed;
Though his fair beagle's self, as I avowed
At starting, is my object. Nay, we'll go
Together down, sir. Notice Gluon again, though,
Eating a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cooked en croute for him!

--Hellas Quinton Baderwy-Mustonn, Poems Old And New (New York: Cooking House Press, 1875)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:25 PM

BRAVISSIMO!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM

Well turned, sir, and madame, too!. The origins are here....

ANd....here.

But, let us not cavil -- who can resist the honest and open hearted appeal of Gluon, the finest dugdock friend yet known to our humble species? Not I!

Blessings on you all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 04:26 PM

It's a dog's life, hauling this thing back to the top so often just to make a point, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 05:33 PM

Why did Lizzie Browning want to flush her dog? Wouldn't that plug up the drains?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM

It was not her desire. The name was Onomatopoetic, chosen to describe her little pug's wet, puny, mucous-heavy snuffly little asthmatic inhalations, which reminded the poet of the distant sound of an indoor water-closet being flushed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 08:19 PM

It is a most strange and wondrous world in which we live. Take for example the following examples of the current activities and concerns of two groups of mature, thinking adults.

In this corner, we have several groups of research associates and scientists:

OPERANDO' METHODS FOR UNDERSTANDING CATALYSIS IN HYDROGEN STORAGE, August 30
As researchers at Pacifi c Northwest National Laboratory investigated the hydrogen storage capabilities of amine borane compounds, they knew that a rhodium catalyst readily releases hydrogen from the compound at room temperature. But they weren't sure how it worked. Aside from the scientific quest for knowledge, understanding the mechanism at work with rhodium may help with the development of a more cost-effective catalyst to enable hydrogen storage.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6125.html

STOPING LIGHT IN QUANTUM LEAP, August 30
ANU researchers have used a groundbreaking approach to set a world record for stopping light - a crucial step in the development of the next generation of computers.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6123.html

FINDING A WAY TO TEST FOR DARK ENERGY, August 29
What is the mysterious dark energy that's causing the expansion of the universe to accelerate? Is it some form of Einstein's famous cosmological constant, or is it an exotic repulsive force, dubbed "quintessence," that could make up as much as three-quarters of the cosmos? Scientists from Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and Dartmouth College believe there is a way to find out.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6095.html


In the other corner, we have the office of the United States Attorney General , ROberto Gonzalez and and his deputy Attorney General Alex Acosta:



http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1125318960389

Julie Kay
Daily Business Review
08-30-2005

When FBI supervisors in Miami met with new interim U.S. Attorney Alex
Acosta last month, they wondered what the top enforcement priority for
Acosta and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would be.

Would it be terrorism? Organized crime? Narcotics trafficking?
Immigration? Or maybe public corruption?

The agents were stunned to learn that a top prosecutorial priority of
Acosta and the Department of Justice was none of the above. Instead,
Acosta told them, it's obscenity. Not pornography involving children,
but pornographic material featuring consenting adults.

Acosta's stated goal of prosecuting distributors of adult porn has
angered federal and local law enforcement officials, as well as
prosecutors in his own office. They say there are far more important
issues in a high-crime area like South Florida, which is an
international hub at risk for terrorism, money laundering and other
dangerous activities.

His own prosecutors have warned Acosta that prioritizing adult porn
would reduce resources for prosecuting other crimes, including porn
involving children. According to high-level sources who did not want to
be identified, Acosta has assigned prosecutors porn cases over their
objections.

[...remainder snipped...]


Maybe Shaxpere was right about them lawyer types -- ya think?

Jeeze, though, it sure is a funny world. Takes all types, dunnit?

Y'all know which corner of this ring I am in.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:03 PM

link has cords also

From our great friend Tom Lehrer

Smut

Smut
Give me smut and nothing but
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
And unsubt-
Tle

I've never quibbled if it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense
"To be smut it must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance"


Por-
Nographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more
If they're hard core

Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
Let's face it, I love slime


All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth, I'm glad to say, is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil-
Thy

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately
I've got a hobby, rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they're trying to take it all
Away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
We fight for freedom of the press
In other words

Smut, I love it
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut
I don't know what
Compares with smut

Hip hip hooray
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court
Don't let them take it away


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 01:20 AM

In higher news:

In Malm÷, Sweden, you can go to the library and check out a
person for fortyfive minutes to talk about their lives and ideas.

http://larvatusprodeo.redrag.net/2005/08/26/great-swedish-ideas-56789-2/

In addition to a Muslim, a Lesbian and a Dane (wow!), there   are several other available titles.

To quote:

'The people available to be "borrowed" also include a journalist, a
gypsy, a blind man, and an animal rights activist. They will be available
Saturday and Sunday in conjunction with a Malmo city festival and are meant to
give people "a new perspective on life," the library said in a statement.
"There are prejudices about everything," Noren said. "This is about fighting
those prejudices and promoting coexistence."

'Borrowing a person will be free, and the library will also provide
coffee at its cafe where the "living books" will answer questions about their
lives, beliefs, or jobs. "It's supposed to be relaxed and human-to-
human,"Noren said.'


Now that, sir Rapaire, is a fine idea, a first-rate innovation, something genuinely new in the world especially in the gentle world of libraries.

I urge you to pilot a test run in the U.S. in your own library. Perhaps a couple of the Legion would volunteer. As well as other of your many, um, colorful acquaintances.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 09:24 AM

Well, we tried that over a year ago as part of our "Check Out Your Neighbor" program.

Several things happened, not the least of which was concurrent visits from the police, the People Agains Sexual Intercourse (this group was not what you think), NAMBLA, the Neighborhood Watch, Idaho's Dirty Old Men Unltd., the WCTU, NORML, the GOP, the DNC, and several of the Rainbow People who were passing through to Elsewhere. You can only imagine...and the tear gas still lingers in places.

The Board shut down the program almost at once but it was too late. The Idaho Legion was already there, checking out various visitors and citizens, attempting to answer the biblical question "Who is my neighbor?"

Eventually, several battalions of the 82nd Airborne arrived and managed to put the whole Old Town area under martial law. They didn't have to shoot too many people to restore order, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM

I suspect you had a really really different version of the concept than the Malmoians.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 11:04 AM

I wonder if the Dane they have available is a Great Dane or not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 03:54 PM

Nah, he was only a so-so, sort of average, Dane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM

Mudcat kind of removed the need to post the bit I wrote yesterday but was never able to get into the thread:

    Ya know, fellow MOABites, sometimes BS isn't enough to sustain itself. I think this is one of those times. Especially since our Tweed and Khandu are both down in this area and were largely responsible for kicking MOM into gear. Then there's others of us sitting down here in areas adjacent to the storm damage, and the fact that the entire nation is learning through worsening waves of information just how awful the damage was from Katrina.

    I don't want MOAB to be dispirited or lose momentum because our hearts aren't in it. I would like to suggest that we maybe give MOM a rest for about 23 hours. She'll survive if she drops down near the bottom of the page, and a little introspection won't hurt any of her acolytes.

    Know what I mean?

    A moment of silence, in the great continum as far as Gluon and the Freds and even the Shatnerites are concerned, is but a blink of an eye. But that eye needs to watch and shed a tear right now.

    I'll see you guys back here tomorrow some time.

    Maggie


We're back now, a day later, the thread has experiences a defacto moment of silence for many hours, and we've had time to assess some of what is going on and needs to be done.

Do we MOABites need to regroup now, and locate all of our regular participants? Where are Tweed and Khandu? How is Bee-Dubya-Ell doing? Over here to the west Texas wasn't impacted by Katrina, but the slop-over to the east hit all the way to Georgia with tornadoes.

Amos, is Gluon parked in your yard? Maybe he needs to go sniff out some of our regulars? (i.e. do you have emails for any of these folks?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:32 AM

Well, the Urgent Care folks called my wife late yesterday afternoon. Seems like a re-reading of the x-rays shows that her right hand has, indeed, a fracture. At the base of her third finger, there is a crack and some flakes chipped off the bone. She has to wear a splint on her finger for about a month.

On her third finger.

The middle finger of her right hand.

"Hi, officer!"

"No, no, airport security officer...."

Oh, boy, are we getting some mileage from this one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:35 AM

I'll check, but I suspect anyone in the range of severe disruption will not be checking email regularly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 10:45 AM

BTW, BWL posted today saying he reckoned Poppagator was ok.

Poppagator has not told us that BWL is ok, though...should we be worried?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 02:16 PM

BWL sounds like he's okay. Does that count?

I don't usually read posts from The Shambles because of the nonsense he generates, but he just started a thread about wearing a tea cosy. I hadn't thought of it--should I bundle up my spare tea cosies to send to PappaGator and his family? They would look rather like one of those Russian fur hats in shape, except that they're various colors. One is blue flowers, the other is neon-bright ripstop nylon (it was a prototype for an adjustible tea cosy for people with more than one shaped pot).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 03:01 PM

Perhaps you should organize the MOAB Mass Aid Deployment, Help and Teacozy Supply Brigade, Mag. I will gladly send a small donation to support the MOAB MADHATS Brigade!! Perhaps Rapaire can use his Legion experience (after all his experiences are legion!) to help organize it. We could teach the horses to swim and set off with saddlebags stuffed with voluntary contributions from obsessed tea-cozy knitters from all across America.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 04:07 PM

Knit one, purl two,
The MMB is here for you!
Others may be daft or dozy
We will bring you new tea-cozies!
We're the ones so brave and bold
Who keep your tea from getting cold!
Never lame or dumb or daffy,
When there's been a cato-straphe.
Purl two, knit one,
Isn't helping others fun?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 05 - 04:58 PM

Yay, Team!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:41 AM

Western civ is really sumthin'
Now exploding, now galumphin'
Hitting heights of pure aesthetic
But voting for a cheap prosthetic;
Striving to push knowledge higher
But following the cheats and liars.
How do people hope to live
In the whirl of Western Civ?
Though their thoughts are like a cancer,
Westerners have found an answer!
They can make the world look rosy
With a flexible tea-cozy!
This is not just tommyrot
For those with different-shaped pots
Catch the vision, heed the call!
Now at last, one size fits all!

Meriwether Spinner
Corn Husks and Lawn Ornaments -- Collected Verse
Mawkish, Banal and Trite, Pub.
Clinton, Iowa, 1954


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:04 AM

Very nice. I think I'll hang out here for a while. I just threw a passionate essay back in the face of someone who shouldn't have hit the "submit" key on her big rant about genocide in New Orleans. I predict a big fire fight. So I'll just hang out with Gluon here on the comfy couch, knitting my snoods and tea cosies, and leave that mess alone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:50 AM

Oh, I'm okay, even if PoppaGator doesn't say so. Just haven't been able to get in much of a MOABic frame of mind since my recent excursion through Michianillinouri.

And I've decided to start an Internet petition calling for the abolition of tea cosies because they interfere with the aesthetics of teapots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 08:41 AM

Don't bother with an internet pertition, do it the effective way.

Obtain various batches of explosives, suspicious white powders etc, and send them through the airports and postal system wrapped in tea-cosies. Make sure they tick a bit, and have some wires sticking out, and that way maybe 10% of them might get noticed. A few weeks of that, and tea-cosies will be banned, or at least require a licence to carry in public....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:11 AM

I want to give you a heads-up on what could be a very, very profitable venture.

The Idaho Legion is sending out an RFP for 30,000 tea cosies. Of course, these have to meet MIL-SPEC requirements and will have to be in various types of camouflage: woodland, desert, ocean, urban, Southern Californian, Hawaiian, cornstalk, potato barn, Boise, landfill, hazmat site, dungheap, High Arctic, mountain and so on -- whereever the Legion might find itself "brewing up." The budget for this project is up to US $100,000 per cosie -- of course, the greater costs are in recognition of the specialized materials needed for, say, a Nomex cozy in Martian Polar camo pattern.

"Only the best for the Legion!" exclaimed Colonel J. D. ("Wild Turkey") Walker-Seagrams, the Legion's commander at the press conference yesterday where the RFP was announced.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:38 AM

There we have -- a huge wasteland of government graft, waste, and bland anti-aesthetic spreading bureaucratic malaise over the land like a giant shadow. Only one man has the courage and the resources to stand against this overweening monstrosity: POTTER MAN, a humble artist standing alone, armed with nothing but his wits, his deep sense of beauty, fifty pounds of exotic clays, and a license to kiln on site.

What can Potter Man do in the face of this cancerous administrative morass?

Stay tuned, friends and neighbors, for the Adventures of Potter Man -- the lonely hero, standing tall against the invasive and powerful Government Sponsored Tea Cozy masses (GSTCM).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 09:43 AM

Noted Author A.K. Raving has announced the forthcoming publication of her latest novel 'Potter Man and the Cozy Conspiracy' for September 11th; the movie adaptation is expected to be released in time for Christmas viewing.

'Cozy Conspiracy' joins the ranks of other Raving successes - such as 'Potter Man and the Dolphin Dilemma', 'Potter Man and the Cruel Clay', 'Potter Man and the Murderous Manatees'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:05 PM

At least Google is on the job! The links below are for "Tea Quilt tea cosies" (who knew!) and "Herbal Tea."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 01:40 PM

Never mind. The Legion has decided not to issue the RFP. They were under the impression that tea cozies were something other than what they are. Something about "Mr. T," beer kegs, mummy-style sleeping bags, and various deviant sexual practices involving pikas and/or orcas -- it not really very clear right now, and The Colonel is still a little under the weather (if you know what I mean).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 02:03 PM

Those are excellent titles, MM. I think you should move in with BWL, using him as an inspiorational role model, and craft the whole series. You could retire in affluence before you turn 41 and 1/2!~!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 05 - 04:52 PM

MMario, did you see the title The Thin Potter Man Keeps the Aspidistra Aloft--I believe it was only released in brail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 07:27 AM

We're letting MOM slip again.

100 push-ups each before breakfast


It's a hard life sometimes. One of the dance groups I'm got given a few kegs of beer a few weeks back , at the end of a festival, and they're short-dated. There's a normally boring meeting coming up. There is a plan afoot to solve two problems in one go....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 09:08 AM

Dear Mom:

Pat and I are going to go here. We'll be back on Monday.

So, Mom, I'm going to leave you in the somewhat-capable hands of Others. I know that you don't quite trust them, but remember that I'll be back and if I find that you haven't been treated well There Will Be Consquences. I will press charges, swear out warrants, track them down, and in general make those responsible sorry for their actions (or lack thereof).

Have a wonderful time, Mom. Wish you were here.

R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 10:19 AM

It'll be interesting to hear how he explains Pat's injuries to this group. We'll expect a report back from the Rendezvous that she appeared as a frontier woman kicked by her mule or who was bruised up fighting off a grizzly bear or a berserk Attwater Prairie Chicken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 04:46 PM

I don't like to do push-ups, so I cranked up the computer to check on Mom. She's okay, but it has been a quiet afternoon. A little activity here as the village fire truck and ambulance and some other emergency vehicle just raced up the street. Banana bread is baking (had to use up those over-ripe bananas) and I'm getting ready to move the truck and run a couple of errand$. Exciting life here in MOAB this weekend, eh?

My super-speedy and cast-iron-stomach dog Cinnamon will be keeping me company as I work in the garage later. If Gluon wants to come around then he can bounce off the walls and hop in her pool with her. I don't have many more plastic pots to offer up for him to chew, she has demolished most of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 05 - 04:57 PM

NEWSFLASH!!!

It has been revealed on another Web forum (which shall remain anonymous, of course) that MOAB founder "khandu" is, in fact, a well known though notoriously insipid pop music icon. CLICK!

Now we understand why though everyone knows that "khandu"'s real name is "Kenny", nobody knows his last name. It's because he doesn't have one! It's just a single letter, not a real name!

It also explains "khandu"'s periodic lengthy absences from the Mudcat. No, they're not due to having an away-from-home job or even due to periodic hospitalizations for "nervous disorders". They're just due to his being on tour in countries such as Botswana where Internet service is less reliable than in Mississippi. Musical icons on their downslides have to go wherever people still think they're cool, ya know. Carnegie Hall today, a mosquito-ridden dump in Belize tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 01:05 AM

He doesn't need the Inter-net. He has the Clair-net. That reaches almost as far.









(and misspelling doesn't count in puns)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 10:56 AM

I thought Clair-net was some kind of a "do-holder" from the folks at Clairol hair products. No?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 12:04 PM

Not that it matters, but the instrument with which Kenny G spreads his insipidity is the soprano saxophone, not the Clair-net. They are both ill winds that nobody blows good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 12:19 PM

You would wind up making that point!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 02:43 PM

For the sake of a pun, many rules are bent. For the sake of our musical collection, we haven't bent so far as to purchase any recordings of Mr. G playing any instrument.

It is an interesting exercise to consider what he might do with other wind instruments. Bagpipes, for example. Do you think he'd be trampled to death before finishing his first practice session, or when he tried to begin the second?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 03:27 PM

Bent wood would wind up playing a part. Unless this is a bentwood windup. That would rock the house indeed.

Served with thin-sliced ham on a French bun, we would have bentwood wind rock and roll!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 05 - 11:57 PM

Mom, you're slipping. Feeling a little down because Rapaire isn't back yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Sep 05 - 05:14 AM

Moad suits my mood this morning.... tried and sleepy for no reason.

COFFEE!!!


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