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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

JennyO 08 Sep 05 - 12:27 AM
Bunnahabhain 08 Sep 05 - 06:33 AM
Amos 08 Sep 05 - 07:54 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 05 - 08:42 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 05 - 08:44 AM
Amos 08 Sep 05 - 09:26 AM
Acme 08 Sep 05 - 09:45 AM
Amos 08 Sep 05 - 10:06 AM
JennyO 08 Sep 05 - 10:21 AM
Bunnahabhain 08 Sep 05 - 10:29 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM
Amos 08 Sep 05 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 05 - 03:11 PM
MMario 08 Sep 05 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 05 - 09:17 PM
Amos 08 Sep 05 - 10:15 PM
Acme 08 Sep 05 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 05 - 07:21 AM
Amos 09 Sep 05 - 09:53 AM
Acme 09 Sep 05 - 10:41 AM
Amos 09 Sep 05 - 04:56 PM
Bunnahabhain 09 Sep 05 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 05 - 08:08 PM
Acme 09 Sep 05 - 08:21 PM
Acme 10 Sep 05 - 10:04 AM
Amos 10 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM
JennyO 10 Sep 05 - 11:22 AM
Acme 10 Sep 05 - 12:08 PM
Amos 10 Sep 05 - 12:35 PM
Acme 10 Sep 05 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 05 - 01:14 PM
Amos 10 Sep 05 - 01:26 PM
Acme 10 Sep 05 - 07:03 PM
Acme 10 Sep 05 - 09:34 PM
JennyO 11 Sep 05 - 05:50 AM
Acme 11 Sep 05 - 10:22 AM
Amos 11 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM
Amos 11 Sep 05 - 12:22 PM
Acme 11 Sep 05 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 05 - 01:24 PM
Acme 11 Sep 05 - 02:32 PM
Amos 11 Sep 05 - 06:45 PM
Amos 11 Sep 05 - 11:01 PM
Acme 11 Sep 05 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 05 - 01:31 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Sep 05 - 06:35 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 05 - 10:25 AM
Amos 12 Sep 05 - 10:30 AM
MMario 12 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 05 - 10:50 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 12:27 AM

Yeah, I had one of those Hurst paradigm shifters once. Didn't like it at all. The one I got now is automatic - takes ya anywhere ya wanna go.

Right now I have to go somewhere I don't wanna go - with any luck I'll meet myself coming back....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 06:33 AM

There was a young lady called Bright,
Who could travel faster than light,
She went out one day,
In a relativistic way,
And arrived the previous night.


Borrowed from somewhere, I recall not,
Is how the limerick was got,
I've changed my mind,
And stayed behind,
And got totally distractred before I found a good way to end the last line, and wandered off to do the washing up and such like.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 07:54 AM

Professor of physics, Miss Black,
Ventured forth on a relative track,
In an FTL blaze,
She got so out of phase
She ran into herself coming back!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 08:42 AM

There was a young fencer named Fisk
Whose play was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Fitzgerald contraction
Turned his epee to a disk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 08:44 AM

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
But they'll all, face-to-face,
Meet in parallel space
Preceeding their leaders behind them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 09:26 AM

Our Rapaire's not too given to boasting,
But his ego is due for some roasting,
He put up, in this tome,
Two ridiculous poems,
Just to claim the 9200th posting!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 09:45 AM

And an enjoyable collection of ditties they were, I applaud you all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 10:06 AM

A poet named Bunnahabain
Claimed that scansion was simply a pain!
When asked why he'd give 'em
Lines of such bizarre rhythm,
He replied "I have a thing, like, about syllables, but I can't really explain!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 10:21 AM

Though that milestone post goes to Rapaire,
It's apparent I don't even care.
For I thought it more fun,
To claim 9191,
Yesterday, when you weren't even there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 10:29 AM

Poetry?
Argueably!

Sensible?
Reprehensible!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM

Honestly, I didn't know that was copping 9199 and 9200. I was just enhancing the excrement around here with a little kultshur and stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 01:23 PM

With manners not quite old Victorian,
Come denials both loud and stentorian,
He cries out "It is culture",
Like some sodden old vulture,
Or an ivory-tower historian!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 03:11 PM

I shall not protest this calumny, this slander, again for fear that I would be thought to protest too much.

Please take note: any further such unfounded, unwarranted, scurrilous, and blatantly untrue assertions will be referred to my attorney for proper action. Should this prove insufficient, I am willing to defend my honor as befits a gentleman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 03:15 PM

hmmmmm....interesting.

I wonder who will be his second?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 09:17 PM

His second what??

I'm off to DC tomorrow; maybe I'll post something from there. I'll be back late Sunday night. Y'all have a good time now, ya hear? And try to keep Mom out of those dives she keeps wanting to visit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 10:15 PM

His second thought, of course. As in, "On second thought...". Or, "On, Second Thought!" if he uses a reindeer or a puppy to fill in for him. Goin' to DC and all he may find himself short of energy for this sort of lollygaggery, I guess.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 05 - 11:13 PM

Aw, isn't that sweet! The Google ads at the bottom of the page are offering ways you can Publish Your Poem and enter a Free Poetry Contest. Ha! And if you believe them . . . "Free" my ass.

If you're going to D.C., Rapaire, be sure to take a good overcoat and umbrella and a pair of rubbers. The shit is flying in that town now! (And you know what kinds of overcoat and umbrella and rubbers I'm talking about--I don't want to get you in trouble with Pat!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 07:21 AM

Heck, she's gonna be there for 8 days after I come back. And I've packed a full hazmat suit and decon outfit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 09:53 AM

Look out DC -- Hot Poppa's comin' to town!

I wanna see you in full hazmat, dude. Far out! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 10:41 AM

Wear safety glasses or goggles AT ALL TIMES. The finger pointing there is so fast and furious right now that they could easily put your eye out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 04:56 PM

Momma always tole me "Never run while blaming!! You could put someone's eye out!!" I thank you for reminding me of her excellent advice!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 07:02 PM

Whereas running about with swords, or quantum duck-dogs is safe and sensible?

This might just be about politicians...

A Pilgrims way.

I do not look for holy saints to guide me on my way
Or male and female devilkins to lead my feet astray.
If these are added I rejoice - if not, I shall not mind
So long as I have leave and choice to meet my fellow-kind.
For as we come and as we go (and deadly soon go we!)
The people, lord, Thy people, are good enough for me.

Thus I will honour pious men whose virtue shines so bright
(Though none are more amazed than I when I by chance do right)
And I will pity foolish men for woe their sins have bred
(Though ninety-nine percent of mine I brought on my own head)
And Amorite or Eremite or General Averagee
The people, Lord, Thy people are good enough for me

And when the bore me overmuch, I will not shake mine ears
Recalling many thousand such whom I have bored to tears
And when they labour to impress I will not doubt nor scoff
Since I myself have done no less and sometimes pulled it off
Yea as we are and we are not and we pretend to be
The people, lord, Thy people, are good enough for me.

And when they work me random wrong as oftentimes hath been
I will not cherish hate too long (my hands are none too clean)
And when they do me random good I will not feign surprise
No more than those whom I have cheered with wayside courtesies
But as we give and as we take - whate'er our takings be)
The people, lord, Thy people, are good enough for me.

But when I meet with frantic folk who sinfully declare
There is no pardon for their sin, the same I will not spare
Till I have proved that Heaven and Hell which in our hearts we have
Show nothing irredeemable on either side the grave
For as we live and as we die - if utter Death there be
The people, lord, Thy people, are good enough for me.

Deliver me from every pride - the Middle, High and Low
That bars me from a brother's side, whatever pride he show
And purge me from all heresies of thought and speech and pen
That bid me judge him otherwise than I am judged. Amen
That I might sing of Crowd or King or road-borne company
That I may labour in my day, vocation and degree
To provr the same by deed and name, and hold unshakenly
(Where'er I go, whate'er I know, whoe'er my neighbour be)
This single faith in Life and Death and to Eternity
" The people, lord, Thy people, are good enough for me."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 08:08 PM

I am here and you guys are there. Brown is out and somebody else is in. Pat has (seriously!) apparently figured a way to legally give more money to Katrina relief -- you give $1 and they get $3, but we've got to check a few things first. PM me if interested.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 05 - 08:21 PM

Hey, let's try that again in a while. We'll send you and Pat to D.C. right when the election is happening and you can boot out the party that is in office. If you can dispatch Brown that quickly, think about the good work you can do later! Thanks a lot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 10:04 AM

Another hot day predicted, MOM, so you'd better get out and do your yard work early.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM

NEver mind, Mom, you're still the coolest thread of them all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 11:22 AM

Here are some cool threads!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 12:08 PM

Hmmm. I did a simple google image search on "swimming suit" looking for some equally cool threads. Got some odd results. Lots of anime figures, and then there is this woman who is missing any threads altogether, so one wonders why she came up in a search for swimming suits. Maybe there was some "swimming in birthday suit" verbiage or something.

Anyway. Cool non threads are duly contributed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 12:35 PM

Oh, thanks, Mag. I was having a cool day until you threw her into the mix. Now I am all distracted!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 12:40 PM

Yeah. And Little Hawk is bound to complain also. Such is life. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 01:14 PM

I wanna complain. I don't want LH to complain. I wanna. I wanna!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 01:26 PM

First, you have to do your homework. A short report on bra size estimations will serve. Advanced students will be required to calculate diameter and cantilever of nipples in rest-state. THEN let's hear you complain.

A

If you need to review source materials, the Temple has a handy pocket-book edition of "Estimations in Contemplation of Divinity", by Fra. Tacitus Delectibus, the senior mathematician of the brotherhood. It has all the math and also a section on doing the calculations in Braille.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 07:03 PM

Her paradigm seems to be in fine shape, at any rate. No shifting required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 05 - 09:34 PM

Where are all of you this weekend? I come back from walking the dog, sit down to take a quick read-through, and I'm the last one who was here.

Hmmph. I was looking forward to a little convivial wit. I've had enough hurricane and partisan vitriol for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 05:50 AM

Where are they indeed? Never mind, Mother - I'll shift you to a higher paradigm - or at least to the top of the current pile of BS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 10:22 AM

Weather tease today. Haven't had rain in over a month, and it's overcast, but they say there is only a slight chance of thunderstorms late tonight.

MOM! Tell Rapaire and Amos to quit playing fetch with Gluon--I need her to go shake up these clouds.

Rain rain don't go away!
Little Stilly wants to play (in her parched garden)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM

I was swept of my feet by a surprise party that started at noon and kept ballooning until the house was overflowing with the most wonderful collection of wit, soul, heart and brain anyone could desire. The house was overflowing with artists and scientists and musicians and oddballs -- and I had anticipated none of it. I think it was 8 PM before the last visitors too leave. I am still reeling from the after-images! The mind boggles that BBW could have pulled this off in secrecy, but she did. So know everyone in San Diego who matters to me knows I am an old fart, but it wasn't exactly a well-guarded secret.

I have just decided to turn 30 for the second time, having not done well at it the first round;' perhaps I shall get it right this time!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 12:22 PM

I am tired of all these yptographical errors, so I have sought doctrinal guidance, that I may be forgiven them and cleave to the better and more orthodox path.

To that end I have turned responsibility for the MOAB, to whatever degree it is legal to do so, over to a new cleric I have summopnsed for this purpose, Fra. Padrone los Yptos. He will accept your prayers for forgiveness and will dispense with benificent pardons for our errors and sins typographical.

He is well qualified for the position, having spent twenty years condoning flaws and forgiving sins committed in government resumes on behalf of the Arabian Nights Dramatization Association, International (Ali Baba and Forty Thieves division).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 01:12 PM

Amos: to depart from the BS for a moment, but ONLY in the name of clarifying and improving our BS, might I suggest you install the Google Toolbar? You can get it for IE or Firefox, and once installed, it has a handy little spellcheck that runs in forms (like the text box here at Mudcat). Download for Firefox here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 01:24 PM

...the most wonderful collection of wit, soul, heart and brain anyone could desire.

Couldn't possibly be. Nobody from MOAB (except Amos) was there.

I myself am flying back to Idaho from DC in a few hours. EVERYONE who is ANYONE flies 2000 miles for an anniversary party....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 02:32 PM

Rapaire,

In recognition of the fact that the incomprehensible woman who tried to teach me Algebra in high school died last week, I must bring a mathematical concept to your attention. It actually comes from the realm of geometry. (I enjoyed geometry, taught by a different teacher. Very little of the Algebra stuck with me, except the use of "x" and "y" to denote things you don't know. I continue to find that very useful.) I want to point out a theorem used to extrapolate information regarding intersections of groups of people. Since the definition of "theorem" that I'm using says "A theorem is a statement which has been proved to be true" then this one should be easy.

This theorem involves our hypotenuse Amos. a2 + b2 + c2 aside, this one looks at how one person, who is a dot along an infinite line, can also be the intersection of lines of other people who would potentially be attracted to the richness of the MOAB if they only knew about it but they don't. This, I should clarify, is accute people, not obtuse people.

I've no doubt way overshot my higher math skills, so I'll stop while I'm ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 06:45 PM

They have their own MOAB, in their own parts of the continuum, and as SRS wisely points out they would grab this one if they knew about it!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 11:01 PM

Now in pairs and threes the MOABites,
Their revels ended step toward the light of dawn;
ALl their fantasies have drawn to a close
And toward the light of MOAB they return.
There, in th week-ending eworld
They are but actors and their days
Upon the stage like shadows now complete
Have closed, and melted soon away.
Here in their truer light, the dawn begins
And to their valiant Mom return their sins,
Bringing their always true and hidden souls to face
A more real time, in more real stead
Dancing the lights upon the MOAB thread.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 11:05 PM

Amos, send us some of your birthday cake, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 01:31 AM

So! That's it, is it? Amos had a birthday and didn't tell us. Didn't even invite poor old Mom. Humph. I must say, I invite Mom to my birthday parties, and Bee-Dubya does, and Stilly does, and Bunn does, and in fact everyone except Amos does.

It just goes to show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 06:35 AM

I do? I don't rembember that. In fact, I had a birthday party? I don't even remember that...

It must be the old computers revenge. I'm wiping it to get rid of all the junk and make it a bit more reliable. It must be doing the same to me.

I'm only daring to play with it tahnks to James's mainifold field of Murphy's law, which is limited to computers.

If something can go wrong, it will go wrong is the basis. From that, we can extrapolate the idea that the more useful it is, the sooner it will go wrong.

A computer is very useful, so goes wrong almost instantly. By aquiring a second computer, it makes each computer less important, as it has a back up. It therefore becomes more reliable, as there is now no point in it refusing to work....
The chance of either of two computers breaking down is less than a solitary one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:25 AM

We have two computers. I use one and my wife uses the other. It's really, really, really, really better that way.

We've set it up so that our PCs are networked. It's better that way, too. Only thing we can't do is check Quicken from her machine; for that we use sneaker net.

I also have a computer at work. I am in the process of restoring it after the city IT guys had to reformat the HD because, in spite having Trend Micro at the front end and Norton AV on the machine, a worm got into it. I was very, very annoyed because I'm trying to coordinate a state-wide conference here in a MONTH and all my emails seem to be gone (even though I did back up everything to CDs before I turned the computer over to IT).

If I added another computer, and then another, and another and so on, how many would I have to add before they formed a neural network and became self-aware? Or are they already self-aware and are simply too smart to let us know, seeing as what we do with them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:30 AM

Rapaire:
I know you would like to fault me, but my defense is clear and has already been presented. If you cannot grasp the metaphysics involved, the error is not in my conduct, sir, but in your understanding. I have celebrated the best and greatest of MOAB. Thinking that this thin stream of ASCII is the MOAB, the person of your Mother, is like thinking that your father's spirit will sit full fathom five, mesmerized by the coral of his long-past bones, instead of going to and fro upon the world in spiritual grace and form, spreading joy, insight, guidance and ectoplasmic deposits.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:36 AM

So Amos, you are saying that it is Rap's father who keeps dropping that ectoplasm in my gardens?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:50 AM

My father doesn't litter the ground with ectoplasm! There are signs posted everywhere that there's a BIG fine for that! He used an ecto-litter bag like a good citizen.

The very idea!


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