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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 07 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 07 Feb 07 - 01:10 PM
Amos 07 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM
Amos 07 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 07 - 02:08 PM
Acme 07 Feb 07 - 02:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 07 - 02:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 07 - 02:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 07 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 07 - 03:30 PM
Amos 07 Feb 07 - 03:57 PM
Amos 07 Feb 07 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 07 - 06:46 PM
Acme 08 Feb 07 - 02:59 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 07 - 09:25 AM
MMario 08 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM
Amos 08 Feb 07 - 09:38 AM
Acme 08 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 07 - 11:48 AM
Amos 08 Feb 07 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM
Amos 08 Feb 07 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 07 - 06:48 PM
Amos 08 Feb 07 - 07:43 PM
Bunnahabhain 08 Feb 07 - 07:48 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 07 - 09:36 PM
Acme 08 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM
Amos 09 Feb 07 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 07 - 11:09 AM
Amos 09 Feb 07 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 07 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM
Acme 09 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 07 - 08:56 PM
Acme 09 Feb 07 - 10:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 07 - 11:00 PM
Peace 09 Feb 07 - 11:02 PM
Acme 09 Feb 07 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 07 - 11:25 PM
JennyO 10 Feb 07 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 07 - 11:09 AM
JennyO 10 Feb 07 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 07 - 11:53 AM
JennyO 10 Feb 07 - 12:00 PM
Peace 10 Feb 07 - 03:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 07 - 03:40 PM
Amos 10 Feb 07 - 09:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 07 - 10:18 PM
Acme 11 Feb 07 - 01:18 AM
Amos 11 Feb 07 - 10:37 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM

I agree--if I'd been less tired when I decided to make that last push I could have excerpted previous stunning posts to use as reminders ot the quality of the BS generated here. Maybe I will start a stockpile in a notepad file. "MOAB Gems"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 01:10 PM

Celibate! Celibate! Dance to the music!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

Speak for yourself, sirrah! Celibate and dancing are an oxymoronic coupling. That's why baptists make love lying down. (So no-one will think they've been dancing)...or something like that. Anyway, speaking of oxymoronic couplings, is it true you were seen in the reedy underbrush down by the Pocatello River trying to emulate the earth-shaking mating dance of the water buffalo? Or was that fencing?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM

THIS post is 16008, a number I really admire. It splices itself beautifully, as so few numbers do anymore.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:08 PM

And upside-down, it's "80091"!

Happy Sweet Sixteen, Mom! Enjoy the cake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:10 PM

BeeDub--I heard you were going to throw a special plate that she can eat it off of. Do you have any that would be suitable for that lovely cake?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:11 PM

Whoa! And "16009" upside-down is "60091"! A difference of 20,000 in a negative direction in a single post! Hot damn!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:14 PM

Nah, Stilly, I'm too enthralled with turning MOAB post numbers upside-down to worry about things like making pots right now!

I hereby claim dibs on post #160091, which is the same right-side-up or upside-down!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:25 PM

One too many zeroes there... I meant "16091", obviously, though I'll keep the dibsies on "160091" as well.

Let's see, that's about ten times as many posts as at the current time.... It's taken us 3 years and 9 months to get to 16000.... Multiplied by ten is 37 years and six months....   Heck, I'll only be 92! Yeah, dibsies!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 03:30 PM

By turning the numbers upside down you are making them smaller and smaller. If you keep it up Mom will disappear completely and it will be your fault.

Amos, the is no "Pocatello River." The Portneuf River flows through Pocatello and has done so for a very, very long time (at least as long as I've been here, and that'll be four years this coming May 5). If you have heard a report involving the "Pocatello River" it was false, fake, untrue, and a fib.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 03:57 PM

Well, I thought I would change the place-name just to protect the guilty. But if you're not interested in being protected, then call it Portneuf.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 04:06 PM

Lo, how the BS loud does rage,
Among the sleepy threads,
And draws the readers of the page
To shake their sleepy heads
How turley roond the tome doth grow,
How glissone goes its measure,
As on and up she boldly goes,
Where no man knows the pressure.
How stringly fired is her ween!
How glimly doon, her tripple!
Beneath the glumringed stars between,
A dampling, struttering stipple!
No lass in herbs can make her less
Nor lissome manny slattern,
For she has all our strove behest
And heaven's gandering pattern.
So come forth Une, Deus, Tray
And plaster thrice the wooly slab
For thou hast cantilevered Day
On the brow of proud MOAB!

g.g. thumbrings
Doonwich Porridge, New Yak, 1934


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 06:46 PM

M is for the million things she gave me
O is for omniscience, which she are
A is for something or other just like those
B is for spending time down at the bar.

O is for omniscience, see above
U is for uric acid, which causes gout
R is for what happened: 'twas a rout.

M is for another million things she gave me
O is of omniscience, like I said
M is for another thing that begins with M

Put them all together they spell MOAB Our Mom
Except upper and lower case are rearranged.


             --Ode To MOM MOAB, by "Little" Richard
                Rogers and "Biggie" Hammersteins, 1913.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:59 AM

Amos, I think to disguise the river you should call it the Portwine. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:25 AM

The Portneuf Brewing Company will, if I give them enough lead time, brew up a special amber (or other) beer for my Library's centennial celebration. The seismic activity you would detect would be Minnie Howard, a life-long member of the WTCU, spinning in her grave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

You should do it! You could call it Portneuf Olyd Bookwyrm!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:38 AM

As I strolled out, one fair May morning
Before the clock had yet struck nine
I heard a loud, mysterious thumping
Down by the banks of the old Portwine.

I looked around, my mind bewildered,
Those screams so high, and moans so low;
It sounded like the dance of demons
Or the mating steps of the buffalo.

But all I saw was a large man fencing
And yowling like a drunk poltroon!
He seemed to wield some kind of weapon,
A saber blade, or broad spadroon.

He whirled and hollered like a dervish
His blade it was a blur of light
He loudly stamped, swung and riposted
Though none was there with whom to fight!

His flying steel swung wild and madly
It struck the stones with many a spark.
He tripped and fell into the river,
And I went home, across the park.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM

Very nice. :) And ditto on the special library brew. What a great idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 11:48 AM

There is also a chance that a Certain Mudcatter (who shall remain nameless for now) will be coming 'round this summer and will do a concert. Maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:25 PM

That's grand -- if you can use a Mudcat connection to bring about a library fundraising, or even just library PR, you can all at one swoop release ALL the angst you have built up about cruising the Cat on library time!! It all sublimates into R&D for the good of the library!! How cool is that?!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM

Libraries do a lot of R&D. Of course, to us it means "Ripoff & Duplicate."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 06:24 PM

Not a responsive answer, counselor, but, under the circumstances, objection withdrawn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 06:48 PM

I can but say what I have said afore:
O! do not wish one more:        
Rather proclaim it, Amos, through my host,        
That he which hath no stomach to this celebration,        
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,        
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:        
We would not drink in that man's company        
That fears his fellowship to drink with us.        
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian:        
And Mom hath had her sixteen thousandth post,        
And we will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,        
And rouse the barkeep at the name of MOAB.        
He that shall survive this day, and see old age,        
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,        
And say, 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'        
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,        
And say, 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day
Celebrating Mom's sixteen thousandth post
When bottles emptied as if by magical means
And songs from a thousand throats were sung
And tho' this was long, long ago, I am hung over yet.'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 07:43 PM

Henry V, Act 4, Scene 3, King Henry addresses Westmoreland about his prospects for winning the Vietnam War.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 07:48 PM

If the world stopped to make any sense, it would be very boring. The same is probably true of round here, but I don't think the two are actually connected...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:36 PM

From this day to the ending of the world,        
But we in MOAB shall be remembered;        
We few, we happy few, we band of siblings;        
For s/he to-day that share this wine with me        
Shall be my sibling; be s/he ne'er so vile        
This day shall gentle his or her condition:        
And gentlefolk in Mudcat, now a-bed        
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,        
And hold their (wo)manhoods cheap whiles any speaks        
That drank with us upon Mom's Sixteen Thousandth day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM

Good night, good night, good night!
(heck with Willie, this is a quote from Michael Cooney in one of his songs.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 10:53 AM

Yes--Rapaire is always shaking his lately-altered Willie at us. Fresh origins, that's what we need.   Erase our roots and re-bloom. Bingo, bango!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:09 AM

Yup, we need fresh beginnings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:57 AM

Brain scans reveal intentions of calculating minds
12:43 09 February 2007
NewScientist.com news service
Roxanne Khamsi

Can a brain scan prove you're telling the truth?
06 February 2007

Brain scans that can read a person's secret intentions even before they act have been demonstrated by researchers.

In a recent study, the technology was 70% accurate at predicting whether participants planned to add or subtract a pair of numbers. Paralysed people may one day be able to use devices based on the technique to carry out complex actions, the researchers say. However, ethical concerns have been raised about its possible use in interrogation.

John-Dylan Haynes at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig, Germany, and colleagues recruited eight people for their trial and placed each of them in a brain scanning machine that produced computed tomography (CT) images.

While participants had their brains scanned, they were asked to secretly decide whether they would add or subtract two numbers due to appear on a screen in front of them. After a pause of a few seconds, they then viewed the two numbers and gave their answer.

Train times
Once the computer program designed to interpret the brain scans had been "trained" on 40-minutes-worth of calculations by a participant, it could predict their calculating intention with 70% accuracy. Haynes explains that the computer program could do this by focusing on the pattern of activity in a brain region known as the medial prefrontal cortex.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 01:08 PM

Well, it wouldn't work with me! MY medial frontal lobes, along with the rest of my frontal lobes, were removed back in 1965 by an irate young woman I was dating at the time. Something about me only thinking about one thing all the time or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM

The Associated Press is reported another case of Mad Cow in Canada -- the ninth.

Why are Canadian cows angry? Can't the US send bovine anger management specialists up there to help? We can help all those other countries, so why can't we help our good neighbors to the North?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM

Maybe it was misdiagnosed and is actually bi-polar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 08:56 PM

I don't the cows had been to either the North or South Pole. Maybe they were bi-coastal, but not bi-polar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 10:52 PM

Around here they're from the third coast. Tri-polar. (Pardon me while I mix a few metaphors. . .)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:00 PM

If they were bi-polar they'd be bears, not cows, but I don't see how their sexual orientation is of any relevance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:02 PM

Post 16061 will be palindromic. Who'd a thunk it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:05 PM

Snort!

Everyone KNOWS that polar bears aren't at the south pole! The penguins would kick their asses out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:25 PM

And contrary to what I said earlier, upside down it's 19091. That just proves what I said about upside down numbers.

I intend to use these findings as the study that gets me the Nobel Prize In Counting Things. You should know that if you steal my idea and get the Nobel Prize In Counting Things before I do I will be most displeased and unhappy, mostly because of the money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:59 AM

I like the idea of 16091 actually - if you turn it upside down it's the same - except that the 1 isn't just a line, so it's a bit different upside down. So it's the same only different.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:09 AM

Just reinforces my mathematical point. Some numbers don't change. They aren't swayed by the fickle winds of fashion, but remain rocks which we can tie our anchors to, metaphorically speaking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:40 AM

Nice handy little hooks on the 6 and the 9 too. I can hang my keys on the 9.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:53 AM

6 and 9 are dirty little numbers. No decent winner of the Nobel Prize For Counting Things ever puts them together, because they do nasty things when you do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:00 PM

Well mine are okay, because there's an 0 between them. Come to think of it, maybe that's not enough. I should probably watch them more closely.

Now you've got me worried. How can I sleep at night?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 03:39 PM

I have to agree.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 03:40 PM

Well, you're in Australia. So you have to sleep face into the mattress, standing on your head. I'd find it uncomfortable, but I guess you get used to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 09:34 PM

I never saw a polar cow.
I never hope to see one.
But I am sure, at least for now,
It would be cold to be one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:18 PM

Aren't polar cows where ice cream comes from?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:18 AM

Don't pick on the 6 and 9, Rapaire! They're just fine together. It's all in the eye of the beholder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 10:37 AM

The question is, WHAT gets into the eye of the beholder.


A


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