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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 08 Mar 07 - 09:40 AM
Acme 08 Mar 07 - 10:42 AM
Amos 08 Mar 07 - 11:20 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 07 - 01:03 PM
Amos 08 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM
MMario 08 Mar 07 - 03:10 PM
Amos 08 Mar 07 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 07 - 04:02 PM
GUEST,Tinker Bell 08 Mar 07 - 06:15 PM
Amos 08 Mar 07 - 08:34 PM
Amos 08 Mar 07 - 11:17 PM
Acme 08 Mar 07 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 07 - 09:18 AM
Amos 09 Mar 07 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 07 - 09:29 AM
Amos 09 Mar 07 - 09:39 AM
Amos 09 Mar 07 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 07 - 12:29 PM
Acme 09 Mar 07 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 07 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM
Amos 09 Mar 07 - 05:21 PM
Amos 09 Mar 07 - 10:27 PM
Acme 10 Mar 07 - 12:09 AM
Amos 10 Mar 07 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 07 - 09:59 AM
JennyO 10 Mar 07 - 10:27 AM
Acme 10 Mar 07 - 10:52 AM
JennyO 10 Mar 07 - 11:07 AM
Amos 10 Mar 07 - 11:49 AM
JennyO 10 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM
Amos 10 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 07 - 02:34 PM
Acme 10 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 07 - 09:31 AM
Amos 11 Mar 07 - 09:33 AM
Amos 11 Mar 07 - 09:52 AM
Acme 11 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM
Acme 11 Mar 07 - 06:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 07 - 08:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 07 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 07 - 10:31 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 07 - 10:53 PM
Amos 11 Mar 07 - 11:50 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Mar 07 - 01:55 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 07 - 08:09 AM
JennyO 12 Mar 07 - 08:55 AM
MMario 12 Mar 07 - 09:02 AM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 07 - 09:04 AM
Amos 12 Mar 07 - 09:10 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 09:40 AM

Rapaire plagiarized the raspberry scones? That doesn't sound very appetizing. I usually just pat the dough into a circle, cut into eighths and bake.

no plagiarization


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 10:42 AM

I think he pileated, not plagiarized. His pointy head is what Amos was thinking about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 11:20 AM

There is no verb "to pileate", but if there were, I would imagine it would mean something like "to act pointy-headed, or to make an assertion in the manner of a pointy-headed person."

"We don't have to explain our actions if they aren't logical," he pileated.

Or, "It's not plagiarism if I change more than one-third of the substantive nouns in the original," he pileated.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 01:03 PM

"Pileated" (as in the woodpecker) comes from the Latin "pilius", which was a kind of short spear or javelin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM

SPoken like a Master Librarian, Doctor Rapaire. But this does not aregue that there should be a verb "to pileate" as in to jab someone full of leaks, for example. I like the pointy-headed defintion.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:10 PM

The media keeps creating new words, werbs, etc, so why can't we here at MOAB.

Though I nearly tossed my cookies at "webinar" from LH. *gag*

now - to pileate; eitehr definition, sound like a perfectly good verb to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:45 PM

We can argue the etymology evolved from "spear" to the "jab someone full of leaks" meaning to "think like a seive" to "make assertions like a pointy-haired boss" over the last few centuries.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 04:02 PM

Or "to poke someone full of holes using a pointy head or hair."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tinker Bell
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 06:15 PM

Peter? Has anyone around here seen my Peter? I think I've lost my Peter. I'll bet that bitch Wendy has my Peter. She's been after my Peter for a long time.

Please let me know if you see find my Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 08:34 PM

He went ta da Big Apple, Tink, to try his luck. He tole me, "If I can make it deah, I'll make it anywheah....". But, unfortunately, he got completely Panned.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 11:17 PM

A pox on those who better know
Than letting Mother drift so low,
Those spirits bright with hands of skill
Who have the wit but lack the will!
And those who sometimes take on airs
And say that others do not care
And those whose lives are left to coast
And borrow other's words to post.
Those Murphys, Flynns, and lowly Flanagans
Who pester Mom with such shenanigans
Are not deserving, by my lights,
To call themselves proud MOABites
And I am certain taht 't is true
That should the noble King Khandu
Discover now what dross has grown
Around the MOAB's soaring stones,
What damp has muffled now her drum,
And to what fate poor Mom has come,
I'm certain he would lose his head,
ANd maybe start another thread!
Then where would we be? Where would we write?
What would we do, alone at night?
I prithee, therefore, mend your ways,
And surface from your sleepy daze,
And write BS, both good and fair
To show the MOAB that you care;
Post once, post twice! And do not stop,
Until our Mom is back on top!

Winsfield Gathering-Hays III,
Ruminations on Transcendent Truth Amongst Friends
Penny-Dreadful Literary House
Cocksbane-by-Gender, 1937


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 11:18 PM

BWL has a little time on his hands. . . ? Maybe there will be a good story out of this search?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:18 AM

I have time on my wrist!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:22 AM

Time will pass, but will not tell,
What goes on with BWL.
In his quiet moments brooding,
No demands of life intruding,
Shall he bring forth revelations?
Poems or tales, or condemnations?
Times he heard old Spawser flatulate?
Diatribes on objects spatulate?
Perhaps he will, perhaps he'll not
Perhaps his brain's now gone to pot.
But only time will pass and tell,
In any case we wish him well,
The silent MOABite, B.L.

Gordon Rumsey McKinney McAlistair Dunedin Fifer IV,
Scotty Doggerel: Kilt's Secrets and Highland Ballads
Whett, Macintosh, Inverain
Edinborough, 2004
A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:29 AM

Yet, yet a moment, one dim Ray of Light
Indulge, dread Chaos, and eternal Night!

   Of darkness visible so much be lent,
As half to shew, half veil the deep Intent.
Ye Pow'rs! whose Mysteries restor'd I sing,
To whom Time bears me on his rapid wing,
Suspend a while your Force inertly strong,
Then take at once the Poet and the Song.

   Now flam'd the Dog-star's unpropitious ray,
Smote ev'ry Brain, and wither'd ev'ry Bay;
Sick was the Sun, the Owl forsook his bow'r,
The moon-struck Prophet felt the madding hour:
Then rose the Seed of Chaos, and of Night,
To blot out Order, and extinguish Light,
Of dull and venal a new World to mold,
And bring Saturnian days of Lead and Gold.


But, no. Indulge, instead, yourself with a good video. A really good video, like this
one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:39 AM

I notice he was kind about your age; he seems a nice coach, if perhaps a tad battle-scarred! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:00 AM

Come all you bad rounders
And listen to me,
And I'll sing you the ballad
Of Bold Raparee
A gentleman sober,
A terror when full,
An erudite scholar,
And handy with bull.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

A man of great knowledge
Was this erudite cat,
From Dewey to Doctorow,
He had them down pat
He could send you long sections
Of Greeks from the shelf,
Tho' he'd often let on
He'd composed them himself!

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

He'd a good wife and family
And brothers most fond
And friends in the Legion,
And over the pond
But he was not contented,
And the story is sad,
For his one aspiration
Was to truly Be Bad!

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

He forsook all his learning
And his Library post
And from honest man's earnings
He gave up the ghost,
He went to his Mother
To learn how to sin,
And the answer she gave him
Made his poor brain to spin.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

She told him quite plainly
"Don't act so perplexed!
For the problem is just
That you get no respect!
You're growing a tummy,
And losing your mane
And the folks down at MOAB
Will just cause you pain."

But if you will listen,
And take this advice
We can make you a Monster
In half of a trice!"
"Go log on to iTunes
Where they sell MP3s
And find you some old ones
From Crofut's LPs.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

And if you are lucky
As you snoop around
You'll discover the story
Of Bad Leroi Brown."
Now sharpen your pencil
And listen quite well,
And you soon will become
The librarian from hell."

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

This bold man of books
Took good Counsel from Ma
And he swore he would soon live
Outside of the law.
He got him a razor,
110 volts A.C.,
Shoved it into his Weejums
Which were 10 triple-E.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

Then he went to a gun fair
To follow his fate
And he brought back a carload
Of monstrous weight
There were handguns and air-guns
Both stainless and blued
Though he limped when he'd heft 'em
From the Braun in his shoe.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

But in spite of the pain,
He did strut up and down
Saying "I'll be the baddest
Librarian in town!"
So he strapped on the iron
Just hoping for fun;
But it took him two hours
To pack thirty-eight guns

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

And the weight of those weapons
Forced his pants to the floor
And he cursed and he cried
And he sweated and swore
Then he found his solution!
It made his heart dance!
He bought eight pairs of braces
Clipped all 'round his pants.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 12:29 PM

My sword is hung upon the wall
Likewise my pistol bold
And ne'er again shall I ride
To take another's gold.

No more the moonlit purple moor
No more the silver'y road
To my "Stand and deliver!" they will no longer quiver
My pistol I'll no longer load.

For I've taken the road to the life literare
Vain, deluding joys I've forsook
Now every Sunday you'll find me in church
Into the Good Book I look.

My horse now pulls a one-horse shay
My life is turned around
The noose no longer threatens me
As through the town I bound.

And yet the sword exerts a pull!
And yet the highway calls!
And yet the pistol calls for food --
Now Away! While I have the balls!

          -- Hortense McGillicudy, Poems of Fen and Fetlock,
             (Seehorn, Illinois: Forte et Dure Press, 1847)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:45 PM

Mom, it's time for a Grand Old Dame to make an appearance, I do believe. Even if she never actually made an appearance like this.


Barbara Frietchie
John Greenleaf Whittier (1807–1892)

UP from the meadows rich with corn,
Clear in the cool September morn,

The clustered spires of Frederick stand
Green-walled by the hills of Maryland.

Round about them orchards sweep,         
Apple and peach tree fruited deep,

Fair as the garden of the Lord
To the eyes of the famished rebel horde,

On that pleasant morn of the early fall
When Lee marched over the mountain-wall;         

Over the mountains winding down,
Horse and foot, into Frederick town.

Forty flags with their silver stars,
Forty flags with their crimson bars,

Flapped in the morning wind: the sun         
Of noon looked down, and saw not one.

Up rose old Barbara Frietchie then,
Bowed with her fourscore years and ten;

Bravest of all in Frederick town,
She took up the flag the men hauled down;         

In her attic window the staff she set,
To show that one heart was loyal yet.

Up the street came the rebel tread,
Stonewall Jackson riding ahead.

Under his slouched hat left and right         
He glanced; the old flag met his sight

'Halt!'—the dust-brown ranks stood fast.
'Fire!'—out blazed the rifle-blast.

It shivered the window, pane and sash;
It rent the banner with seam and gash.         

Quick, as it fell, from the broken staff
Dame Barbara snatched the silken scarf.

She leaned far out on the window-sill,
And shook it forth with a royal will.

'Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,         
But spare your country's flag,' she said.

A shade of sadness, a blush of shame,
Over the face of the leader came;

The nobler nature within him stirred
To life at that woman's deed and word;         

'Who touches a hair of yon gray head
Dies like a dog! March on!' he said.

All day long through Frederick street
Sounded the tread of marching feet:

All day long that free flag tost         
Over the heads of the rebel host.

Ever its torn folds rose and fell
On the loyal winds that loved it well;

And through the hill-gaps sunset light
Shone over it with a warm good-night.         

Barbara Frietchie's work is o'er,
And the Rebel rides on his raids no more.

Honor to her! and let a tear
Fall, for her sake, on Stonewall's bier.

Over Barbara Frietchie's grave,         
Flag of Freedom and Union, wave!

Peace and order and beauty draw
Round thy symbol of light and law;

And ever the stars above look down
On thy stars below in Frederick town!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 02:19 PM

UP from the stillhouse rich with corn,
Clear in the cool September morn,

The flustered friar Frederick fans
Green-walled by the hills of Maryland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM

"Shoot if you must this old gray head,
But spare my union suit," she said.

                     -- Bullwinkle T. Moose


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 05:21 PM

Steal if you must these hoary poems,
But spare thy Mother's mind, she moaned....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:27 PM

Yo're a grand olde dame,
Though you must be insane
To hang round on this profligate thread!
You don't make a sound
While Mom sinks down,
Then you save her by the hair on her head!
But it must be clear
That it's awfully queer
To trade life for this chatter, I guess;
But if all your family
Finds you gone,
We'll come looking 'round the old B.S.!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:09 AM

Mom's favorite lines are

'Who touches a hair of yon gray head
Dies like a dog! March on!' he said.


They make her feel safe and loved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:16 AM

How exactly DOES a dog die, anyway? The ones I have known were hit by cars, which hardly counts. I guess some just lie down and go to sleep and die like that, just like some old humans. What is different about dying doggy-style?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 09:59 AM

Well, here's a list, but ultimately they all died of heart failure, just like you and me:

shot
old age
drowned
buried alive (got an felony animal cruelty charge on this one!)
burned alive (ditto)
slaughtered, cooked, and eaten
run to death
dog fight
lethal infection
run over
left in the country because "the farmers will take care of it"
gassed
eaten or mauled by wild animals
hung (see felony, above)
cancer, distemper, and other diseases


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 10:27 AM

Or, like Bendigo, they might drown in a vat of cider and leave a lasting impression:

DEAD DOG CIDER (SCRUMPY)

After the singing of Norman & Betty MacDonald Bristol-Birmingham, UK
Tune: Bonnie Scotsman/Eight More Miles to Louisville
New chorus by Charlie Ipcar 1998

In eighteen hundred and forty-nine, in a little cider mill,
A poor old dog lay down to rest, for he was feeling ill;
He chose a most precarious perch, above the apple press,
And– in his sleep he tumbled in and perished in distress.

This caused his master for to grieve, likewise his mistress too,
And so their sorrows to relieve, they sampled of the brew;
"Gadzooks," cried Farmer Afwater, "the likes I ne'r did sup;
Let's summon all the neighbors in, and bid them take a cup."

Now, here's to Dead Dog Cid-er, the best there is by far;
Here's to Dead Dog Cid-er, no moaning at the bar;
You can search this wide world over, find many a beer or ale;
But when you've tried Dead Dog Cider – your search will be curtailed!

Now everyone that drank that night got drunk as drunk could be,
And wondered how the scrumpy had acquired such potency;
The farmer kept his council, as he took another drop,
When all at once that poor old dog came floating to the top.

A silence fell around the room, and everyone did frown,
For they recognized old Bendigo though he was upside down;
The parson lost his collar and collapsed upon the floor,
And the squire split his britches in the rush to reach the door...

"Oh, halt," cried Farmer Afwater, "for in his life I vow,
He never bit man nor beast, nor will he bite ye now;
And this shall be his epitaph, 'Here lies old faithful Ben
Who perished in the cider vat, only to rise again.'"*

So if you're down in Devon, and you stops off at a bar,
Just call for Dead Dog Cider, it's the best there is by far;
Refuse all imitations and you'll sleep just like a log,
You can always recognize it by – the hair of the dog...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 10:52 AM

Mom thinks someone made up that story, JennyO.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 11:07 AM

Well! I'm shocked! How could Mom possibly think I would post an untruth? The very idea! I might have to go and drown my sorrows in a few glasses of scrumpy. Preferably with no dead dogs in it.

But of course you know what they say - never let the truth get in the way of a good story ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 11:49 AM

If the list is so long, it must not answer the question in the context of Stonewall's threat. All organisms can die of many means -- shock, organ failure, lightning, drowning, etc. But what is so different about the way -- not the means but the style or manner -- of dying doggie-style? What is the secret of dying like a dog?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:09 PM

Amos, every time you mention doggy-style, it brings to mind entirely different images from the things being discussed here. Mom would be shocked! Although I imagine she's been round the block sixteen thousand times or so, so maybe not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM

Well, I confess, it was intentional, an overlay of risqué humor in sharp contrast to the grim intent of Stonewall Jackson's communique to his soldiers.

But I am curious what it means. I guess it means in a rough outdoorsy way with no pomp or circumstance, no wake, and no trimmings.

Speaking of that, there are a number of traffic control signs in the inlets of Mission Bay here in San Diego which threaten people who mis-behave driving their motorboats, in a similar vein. Not that they threaten doggy-style dying in toto but they do say, sternly, "No Wake". I suppose to some folks that is like going to bed without any supper. It's enough to make you throttle back, and you can see the efficacy of ity as boats approach the harbor and slow down. I am surprised how many people care that much about death rituals, but there is no accounting for what some folks have on their shaggy-baggy minds.

And speaking of that, did Toto die like a dog after the WIzard of Oz had run its course? Or did he face his death like a man? How about the Tin Woodman?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 02:34 PM

Actually, Stonewall Jackson didn't say anything at all like that. He was a man of peace, and those weren't soldiers with him, it was an anti-war rally on the way to New York City. They did not shoot up poor old Barbara's window and flagstaff, but what they actually did was stand underneath and sing "Give Peace A Chance" until the pigs clubbed and gassed them to make them move on. Hell man, I mean, this WAS the '60s, ya know?

(Did you ever hear about Chance Talliaferro, a member of Tappa Kegga Beer fraternity down at old UVa? He was trying to "make it" with a chick from the sorority next door, but she wasn't having any. He complained to his frat brother, who gathered outside her window and sang "All we are saying/Is give Chance a piece." No, I didin't think so.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM

Mom, I did my good deed for the day, probably for the week. A neighbor and I went out and picked up several large heavy-duty bags full of litter on the road near our homes. It has a lot of greenbriar and brambles. If we go out again tomorrow I'm taking the loppers to trim a few of those vines so we can pick up the trash without the contortionist moves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 09:31 AM

Here, Mom. Have some refreshment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 09:33 AM

Mom,

Today I went to a dusty dark storage center east of town and spent four hours opening old boxes of stored belongings. I restacked and combined and moved things to the dumpster. Then I came home and made a dinner for six, and had some wine and now all the clocks have gone off by an hour. It's been a loooong day.


But I am glad to see you, Mom, and I want you to know that I really appreciate you. I am not going to kiss your ass by making imaginary delicacies or anything, but I am glad you are here.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 09:52 AM

Mom, I thought you should know something about the universe. In the 1970s, astronomers began noticing something that didn't seem to fit with the laws of physics. They found that spiral galaxies like our own Milky Way were spinning at such a rate that they should have long ago wobbled out of control, shredding apart, shedding stars in every direction. Yet clearly they had done no such thing.

They were living fast but not dying young. This seeming paradox led theorists to wonder if a halo of a hypothetical something else might be cocooning each galaxy, dwarfing each flat spiral disk of stars and gas at just the right mass ratio to keep it gravitationally intact. Borrowing a term from the astronomer Fritz Zwicky, who detected the same problem with the motions of a whole cluster of galaxies back in the 1930s, decades before anyone else took the situation seriously, astronomers called this mystery mass "dark matter."

This is terribly important, Mom, for the future of the Mudcat and everyone in it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM

It gives new meaning to "don't go flying off the handle" or "don't go flying off in all directions," doesn't it?

Now I hope to find stuff that doesn't fly off of my handle--more trash pickup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 06:46 PM

Mom, I don't know where everyone else is today, but I picked up more trash and my neighbor and I have now covered about 2/3 of the chunk of road that we wanted to clean up. Talk about good exercise! The contortions one must exert to reach through the briars to pick up plastic grocery bags and long-neck bottles adds up to a good workout.

Rain on the way, gotta walk the dogs. They got a bath today, lucky girls, and their stall was cleaned and new hay added. I decided I would do all of that stuff in one fell swoop today and change clothes only once, instead of after each chore.

I wonder at the others--lounging on warm sunny beaches, soaking in hot tubs, dining in five-star restaurants? Don't be too hard on them, Mom. They didn't mean to forget you hear at home, approaching the cellar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 08:12 PM

And now, a word from our sponsor...

I AM -----------!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 09:34 PM

William Shatner is Canadian? Since when?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 10:31 PM

Ha! I can use a martingale! It's legal under USFA rules and the rules of the FIE!!! Ha! I knew it! For both foil and epee, but not with a French grip!! Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 10:53 PM

He's been Canadian since FOREVER, Rapaire. Geez! He was born in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. What did you think he was?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 11:50 PM

Ummm....French? Extra-terrestrial?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 01:55 AM

Thankfully Shatner has not been Canadian forever, as that would make him..... ( cue dramatic chords)... IMMORTAL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:09 AM

I thought he was Texan, which I gave to Canada quite a few years back. Or maybe Romulan. Or British.

Or Pictish -- just picture him, naked and colored blue with woad. Gives him a whole new perspective, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:55 AM

Is this something like what you had in mind, Rapaire?

Title: Woad - Bufo tinctoria. Common name: Woad

Identification: The Woad differs from the Common Toad in having shorter limbs and in usually possessing blue pigmentation. The head is wider than it is long with large protruding eyes typical of the family Bufoisatis. The skin is tough and adult specimens exhibit distinct whorl markings. The back is dark blue - blue grey with various spiral markings irregularly orientated. The underside of the Woad is pale blue or whitish grey with distinct decorative markings. It is further remarkable for the very loud croak of the males, produced by a large vocal bladder on the throat which, when inflated, is larger than the head. Adults reach a size of about 8 inches in length.

Biology: The Woad had a markedly terrestrial habit being found in many fairly dry habitats and sometimes close to human settlements, this has accelerated the environmental and human pressures on the animal accounting for it's remarkable rarity. The Woad usually makes it's home in a dry place close to a small pool often known as a vat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:02 AM

That's one of the best photos I've seen of the shatman in a long time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:04 AM

Yes, it is quite striking, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:10 AM

Let us never forget the battle-hymn of the Pict Republic, "On the Woad Again"!

On the woad again
Just can't wait to put on the Woad again
Thing that I like best is fighting Normans with my friends
And I can't wait to put on the woad again...

I am sure Shatner does not know this song. He is culturally illiterate.

A


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