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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

John Hardly 17 May 07 - 09:45 PM
Amos 17 May 07 - 10:13 PM
John Hardly 17 May 07 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 17 May 07 - 10:30 PM
Acme 17 May 07 - 10:49 PM
Amos 17 May 07 - 11:14 PM
MMario 18 May 07 - 08:07 AM
Amos 18 May 07 - 09:17 AM
MMario 18 May 07 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 09:53 AM
Amos 18 May 07 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 12:52 PM
beardedbruce 18 May 07 - 12:55 PM
MMario 18 May 07 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 03:33 PM
GUEST,freds 18 May 07 - 03:40 PM
Acme 18 May 07 - 04:02 PM
Amos 18 May 07 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 04:59 PM
Acme 18 May 07 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 18 May 07 - 10:35 PM
Acme 19 May 07 - 01:08 AM
Rapparee 19 May 07 - 10:51 AM
GUEST,freds 19 May 07 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 19 May 07 - 03:10 PM
Acme 19 May 07 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 19 May 07 - 10:44 PM
Acme 19 May 07 - 11:22 PM
Acme 20 May 07 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 20 May 07 - 05:48 PM
Acme 20 May 07 - 05:57 PM
Amos 20 May 07 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 20 May 07 - 06:26 PM
Acme 20 May 07 - 07:25 PM
Rapparee 20 May 07 - 09:11 PM
Amos 21 May 07 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 21 May 07 - 12:05 PM
Amos 21 May 07 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 21 May 07 - 11:52 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage sans cookie 22 May 07 - 09:34 AM
MMario 22 May 07 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 22 May 07 - 09:50 AM
Amos 22 May 07 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 22 May 07 - 12:59 PM
MMario 22 May 07 - 01:11 PM
Amos 22 May 07 - 01:16 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage, still at the hospital 22 May 07 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 09:06 AM
John Hardly 23 May 07 - 09:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 17 May 07 - 09:45 PM

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them, and an ipod in their ears, and the bus that hit them driving off in the distance. --Thoreau


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 07 - 10:13 PM

How did Thoreau guess that, about iPods, i mean? Very impressive. Does Steve know? It's a co-branding opportunity, you ask me...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 17 May 07 - 10:27 PM

Time travel, of course. sheesh, a dominant subtheme for a page and yet...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 07 - 10:30 PM

I care not what you walk in, sir. Nor do I care if a skunk washes your footwear clean. But since you require an answer to your earlier and quite impertinent question, the answer is all of the above. Or none of the above. You may chose whichever fits your reality.

I could not find, online, copies of the photos taken of Sam and friends. I did, however, find this picture of the steamboat "Quincy" , which was finally sunk in 1917 or 18, when this picture was taken at the St. Louis waterfront.

I thought it quite a nice one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 May 07 - 10:49 PM

That's really interesting. I didn't realize that they spell "Quincy" G-U-N-D-E-R-S-O-N. Obviously a few silent letters and a couple of elisions at work there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 07 - 11:14 PM

Your evasion, sir, is no less insulting than your original complaint. As you will not reply, you are no correspondent, but a jackanapes, a mere wordmonger, a will o'the wisp in the swamp of mental paroxysms.

By the way, I recommend "River of Doubt", a jolly good read and well-grounded in fact, a new experience for you. C. Millard reconstructs Teddy Roosevelt surfing the Amazon.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 May 07 - 08:07 AM

G'mornin MOM!

well, this am I'm still a bit pissed off, still a bit depressed, and a little bit scared, all at the same time; but I figure I can talk to you about it, right? If I can't talk to - well, things just wouldn't be right.

I got deferred as a blood donor yesterday. Never happenned before - though I came close twice. Once for low blood pressure - but I had a cig and ran around the building and they accepted me. Another time they couldn't find a vein through the scarring from previous donations; but switching to the other arm solved that problem.

and yeah, I know it ain't the end of the world or anything, but it is disturbing to me. Especially *why* I got defferred.

see, I've always had low blood pressure - especially for someone my size. (Morbidly obese is the description most medical people use) - so even though my pressure are usually in the "normal" range, they are way low for my weight. and tend to dip lower. or have until recently.

Eight weeks ago the last time I donated my blood pressure was the highest I've ever read. 139 over 80. Didn't worry me too much, I'd had a couple cigerettes driving to the blood bank and had 12 cups of coffee that day. so, okay, cut back on the coffee and try not to smoke on the way to donate, right?

Which I did yesterday - had 1 cola and water during the day; only two cigerettes all day. and they took my blood pressure three times.

148 over 104; 152 over 98; 162 over 106.

crap.

double crap.

hopefully a fluke. and the blood pressure cuff *hurt* when they inflated it - which didn't make me happier.

so I suppose I should get it checked out - which is a pain.

figures - the one aspect of my health I have never had to worry about


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:17 AM

All the aspects of your health are connected, good Man of Emms.

A regimen of long walks, vigorously completed, would do both off us a world of good.

Unlikely, I know. For both of us.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:27 AM

jay-suess, Amos! That almost sounds like you are reccomending excercise!

*shudder*

actually - as i need to do yard cleanup I'll be getting that - just have to be careful with the wheebarrow as it is murder on my lower back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:36 AM

'Sokay. I donated yesterday and so did my wife. BP was 138/68, which they liked. Lots better than, oh, say, 0/0.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:53 AM

Amos, I have told JiK that whatever friends you might have will call upon him so that you can avenge the insult to Mom. I told him that you would want a duel to the death ("Third Blood").

No, no need to thank me. Happy to do it for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 07 - 10:33 AM

No need to thank you? For starting a "let's you and him fight" scenario with a respected colleague? I should think not!!

Please refrain from representing me to anyone at all in future; I will gladly reciprocate. Mom is quite capable of taking care of herself. I am miffed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:52 PM

Well, I'd much rather you did it than me. I'm old and pretty much stove up, and you are young and virile and handsome. But if Mom wants to handle it hers4lf, okay, she's younger, healthier, and better looking than either of us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:55 PM

better looking and healthier, anyway...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:33 PM

Hey MOM!

iffen ya go to http://capecodnow.net/artman/publish/sandwich/index.shtml you can read all about my Dad!

well, not all about, there are things we are still trying to get him to tell us kids - and there are things his babysitter told me that aren't in the article, and ....

well - you know what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 03:33 PM

That's neat, Mario. A nice article.

I'd refer you to an article about my Uncle Xantippe, but there are things about him we're trying to keep hushed up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 18 May 07 - 03:40 PM

Did we tell you that guano is not a good source of protein? That even with taste enhancement techniques it still tastes like mammal droppings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 07 - 04:02 PM

freds, go to a place called Kansas and eat a man named John. That should help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 07 - 04:36 PM

Ask around though -- the first one you find will probably be the wrong one.

Mom, I am on the road this weekend. God bless you, stay high and make Rapaire do his homework for once.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 04:59 PM

1 + 1 = 2
2 + 2 = 3
3 + 3 = 4
2 + 3 = 3.5

etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 May 07 - 05:34 PM

Dewey do decimals or what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 10:35 PM

Better not get me started on decimals....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 07 - 01:08 AM

I see your point.

I sent the freds off to Kansas looking for that miscreant John, and even recommended a marinade. I hope they don't head to Indiana--if they locate our potty MOAB member they might get a malamute bite for their trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 07 - 10:51 AM

They might like a little snack of malamute. Just a bite, mind you, to whet their appetites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 19 May 07 - 11:29 AM

Malamute - what is this? Is it high in protein and is it tasty?

We have been pursuing the JohnInKansas, and we think he is hiding. We might try to lure him out with a thread about our computer - but we are not accustomed to such primitive forms of communication.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 07 - 03:10 PM

Dog -- the other other other white meat!
Cat -- the other other white meat!
Pork -- the other white meat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 07 - 09:57 PM

Hey, Mom, it's a nice evening. Why don't you come out on the porch and have a tall glass of iced tea and some homemade bread just out of the oven. The smell of the bread will bring the boys running soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 07 - 10:44 PM

Hope I soaked the cheat grass so that tomorrow morn, when everybody else is goin' to church, I can weed it easily.

Yup, tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm going to scandalize the neighbors.

And Mom, I don't care if I do!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 07 - 11:22 PM

An answer to that outrage around here in my wooded creek bottom would be to note that I'm working on creating a chapel in the wood, ala chapter six of The Red Badge of Courage. That'll confuse the heck out of 'em. If they skipped class that day and want to know what I mean then I can tell them to go read a good book. No, not THAT good book, another one. And when they get to the body in the woods they'll wonder what in heck I'm up to in my front yard. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 07 - 04:43 PM

I guess everyone went to the library to get the book. . .

Mom, Moonglow has her splenectomy tomorrow morning, so I may not be around for a couple of days. It will be laparoscopic and they expect to keep her only overnight. She should feel like a million bucks once her spleen isn't beating up on her sphere-shaped red blood cells any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 07 - 05:48 PM

Well, doggone, you tell that gal of your'n not to do this not more! And if she does you jist give her a good whack where she sits down!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 07 - 05:57 PM

She's bigger than I am now, so if that had ever been a favored form of discipline, it wouldn't work any more. And you should see how tall her brother is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 07 - 06:15 PM

Good luck, Still, and a fast recovery to the lass.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 07 - 06:26 PM

Well then, you tell her she'd best get her sit-downer outa the hospital and back to normal right smart like! And the rest of her with it, too! She's got dogs ta play with, fergawdsakes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 07 - 07:25 PM

Note to self: Keep the cats OUT OF Moonglow's bedroom when she first comes home. To cuddle they walk up the body with those heavy little feet and ALWAYS step on tender spots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 07 - 09:11 PM

My friend Steve had a cat named Sam. Sam would awaken Steve every morning by sitting on his chest and purring. One morning Steve wondered what would happen if he ignored Sam. So he did, watching Sam through barely open eyes. Finally, when licking didn't work, Sam pulled back his paw and, claws out, raked Steve across the face.

Steve got up in a hurry, and had a heckuva time explaining the scabs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 07 - 10:38 AM

Good morning, Mom. I yam back. Rolled out of San Jose at 0600 and into the driveway in San Diego at 1345. Good time -- we got lucky in traffic. Barky was perfect. Lovely area, San Jose, and her evening concert was in Los Gatos, even lovelier. But pricey!!!

Glad to see you, too!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 12:05 PM

Welcome back, Amos! Glad your trip was enjoyable. Here, have a glass of this nice Pinot Greg. And I'm happy you had a good time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 07 - 10:51 PM

Oh, sh e was fine, played every lick with perfect embouchure and clarity, and feeling. The Synpony Orchestra musical director is crazy about her. (BSEG).

It is a delight to see that ole protoplasm cutting the mustard through time, indeed it is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 11:52 PM

I keep tellin' ya, Trumpeters RULE, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage sans cookie
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:34 AM

From the hospital room: food service person just brought a breakfast of biscuit and sausage and gravy to Moonglow. Right after the nurse and I agreed that we thought southern breakfasts were something one encountered out in the boonies. Good thing her dad stopped by earlier with bagels and fruit.

The bebe is doing fine; it seems that it hurts when they remove a large spleen through a little hole (they disconnect the spleen from everything then they run a baggie in through one of the holes, into which the spleen is slipped and the bag closed. They then stick a finger through one of the laparoscopy holes to break up the now-discarded organ and slip the whole thing out one of the little holes. The doctor told us it is rather like trying to pick up a football with a pair of chopsticks.) This kid and her sense of humor--after the appointment when he described the procedure to us she suggested we bring some crackers for pate. Yup, she's a MOAB kind of kid!

Hope to take her home today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:41 AM

nawww - out in the boonies hospitals serve dry cereal for breakfast; grape nuts, or something like that, y'know the kind of cereal that needs to soak for a week before it's edible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:50 AM

Hey, ain't nothing like GOOD sausage and biscuits. I don't think you're likely to find them in a hospital however.

You do know that doctors now keep a bit of whatever they remove and use it to clone the patient, don't you? One of these days you'll be walking down the street and see a whole regiment of your daughter's clones closing in on you, all of them shouting "Mom! She's touching me! Make her stop!" and "Can I have an ice cream pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" (I didn't say they'd be particularily mature clones.) You'll try to run, but it will be far, far too late....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 07 - 10:53 AM

Right on, Rapaire -- well, at least i know ONE trumpeter who does.

Moonglow, congratulations on a successful patéectomy!!

Heal fast and return to the Great Race.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 07 - 12:59 PM

Just look at the record, Amos:

-trumpets (shofors, actually, but an ancestor) tumbled the Walls of Jericho;

-trumpets have traditionally announced the entrance of potentates;

-trumpets have hurled men into battle against Evil;

-great announcements (and small ones, too) have been trumpeted throughout the land;

-and there is supposed to be The Last Trump.

No other instrument has these distinctions! Consider:

-God didn't tell Joshua, "March around the city, playing your accordions."

-Nobody ever said, "Hark! The harmonicas announce the entrance of the King!"

-"We will guitar the news throughout the land." Nope, doesn't work.

-And nobody ever refers to "The Last Banjo Pick."

Yessireebobtail! Trumpeters rule!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 07 - 01:11 PM

or they are the cringing lackeys of imperialistic warmongers.

(strictly based on your comments)

(ps - my apologies to Barkey)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 07 - 01:16 PM

I knew a young lady once who experimented with blowing the shofor, but her father fired the guy and made him turn in his uniform.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage, still at the hospital
Date: 22 May 07 - 02:34 PM

Waiting on various folks to come by to see Moonglow. She says stop saying funny things, it hurts to laugh.

patéectomy --Good one, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:06 AM

You know, if everybody in the country had a splenectomy, we'd finally get an ex-spleen-nation.

When they cut the holes, did she vent her spleen?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:51 AM

I think I'll stop using "Splenda" and go back to the more natural sweetner that God meant for us to use. Aspartame.


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