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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 20 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 07:10 PM
Amos 20 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 07 - 10:44 PM
Amos 21 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM
Acme 21 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jul 07 - 12:38 PM
Amos 21 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 02:11 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 10:12 AM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 04:28 PM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM
Amos 22 Jul 07 - 08:08 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 07 - 08:18 PM
Acme 22 Jul 07 - 10:48 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM
MMario 23 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM
Acme 23 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM
Acme 23 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 07 - 10:51 PM
Peace 23 Jul 07 - 11:00 PM
Amos 23 Jul 07 - 11:27 PM
Acme 24 Jul 07 - 12:16 AM
Rapparee 24 Jul 07 - 09:36 AM
Acme 24 Jul 07 - 09:37 AM
beardedbruce 24 Jul 07 - 09:53 AM
Amos 24 Jul 07 - 11:13 AM
Amos 24 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 24 Jul 07 - 11:53 AM
MMario 24 Jul 07 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 24 Jul 07 - 12:01 PM
beardedbruce 24 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM
beardedbruce 24 Jul 07 - 12:04 PM
Amos 24 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
John Hardly 24 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM
beardedbruce 24 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 06:50 PM

Eighteen four and bloody five!
Voldemort is still alive!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 07:10 PM

See Ginny Weasley doing kicks!
'Cuz now we're eighteen four hundred six.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM

Got no rhythm, cannot jump,
But he made the number bump!
Send Rapaire to White Guy heaven
Eighteen thousand, four and seven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM

Standin' at the pearly gates!
Eighteen thousand, four-o-eight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:14 PM

Hermione Granger feels so fine,
Just like eighteen four oh nine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 10:44 PM

This, much beloved of science fiction artists in the past, may becoming fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM

Geeze, Rapaire, drooling over bunny suits? Isn't that a bit, um, beneath you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM

I think this is one from his Flickr pages. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 12:38 PM

That form-fitting space suit looks a fair bit like the one the Greys outfitted Shane in...only Shane doesn't look quite that good in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM

Stilly! You been rifling Rapaire's drawers? Else how to 'splain you getting that photo from his 21st birthday party? Amazing!! I heard about that from some as was there, but Rapaire thought he'd burned all those bridges to his colorful past when he moved to Idaho and became a Republican... I think he was in synchronization with George the Younger from much further back than he even realized, one of those memetic linkage phenomena that joins organisms of similar species and DNA structure almost telepathically...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:39 AM

Wow!! Of posts, a DEARTH, a PAUCITY, a LACK, a SHORTFALL, an INSUFFERABLE INSUFFICIENCY!! Where are the MOABITES??? Gone to war? Gone to Canada to seek health care?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 02:11 AM

Gone out to dinner, of course!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:12 AM

I thought my past was dead and buried! Where did that picture of me come from?

Yes, it's me. Back in my college days, when I was so poor I had to eke out my tuition by working in...in...yes, I'll Tell All!

During my college days I was a professional wrestler. And that picture must be the only thing left to remind the public of "The Bashful Basher Booker" (I was also working in the college library). My job was to be defeated, and I was very, very good at it. And then one day one of my opponents bent one of my ears and I became angry.

In my anger I picked him up and threw him into the audience. Blind with rage, I next picked up the audience and threw it through the wall of seedy gymnasium where I was performing. Twenty-seven cops couldn't control me, and I fled through town, knocking down buildings and throwing cars at helicopters, until, wandering lonely through the bucolic countryside, I met a little girl who was picking flowers for her dolly. I was so taken by this exhibition of childish innocence that I helped her, and in her innocence she showed me that my actions had been impolite, even rude, and that I shouldn't have acted as I did. Instead of losing my temper I should have simply ripped my opponent's head off and thrown that to the crowd.

My anger spent, I entered a Zen monastery where for ten years I studied grains of sand.

And the rest, as they say, is history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:52 AM

The rest may be history, indeed; but the part you wrote down, I am sure, is not.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:28 PM

Sir, do you question my word? I do not question yours -- when you explained about your career as a gunfighter, besting such notables as Johnny Ringo, Jack Slade, Wild Bill Hickox, Dave Mather, Henry McCarty, Clay Allison, Doc Holliday, and the rest, facing them down with a only a banjo on each hip -- I did not doubt any bit of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM

Boys, boys, boys, take it out in the yard! There isn't enough room for flailing banjos in MOM's kitchen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:08 PM

Yes, but we were both drunk that night. I was in no condition to cleave to veracity, nor you to recognize it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:18 PM

Why do you assume I'm sober now? Or ever, for that matter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:48 PM

While those two were arguing I was being virtuous and I repotted some plants and rearranged others and moved around rocks and my soaker hoses and (alas) discovered a spot where there is some rot under my bay window. Probably splashing off of pots in all of the rain. Hence the rearrangement to avoid future splashing and soon the employment of a handyman to replace a board and some insulation before I seal and paint it. I could do it all myself, but it is bound to be hot and sticky and a cramped space--better to pay a guy to do it. Hmmm. I wonder . . . Amos has been doing a lot around his house lately . . . I wonder if he has any flights east and any layovers at DFW?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM

Rapaire, I would never maje such an assumption. I was talking about then.

Stilly, I'd ble glad to, but I carry serious roaming charges.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:27 AM

Drunk, drunker, drunkest: the three stages of life. I live in the first, intoxicated by the beauty of the sunrise, the laughter of children at their games, the gentle lapping of waves upon the shore, the miracle of puppies and kittens, the majesty of the mountains, the indomitable human spirit, and the wisdom and goodness of our Leaders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:34 AM

Dear Mom,

I have CRP and AED instruction today, so I'll be able to same Amos's life again.

Your fave rave,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:52 AM

Dear MOM --

While I was in 1585...

my b-i-l broke his ankle - In Japan...

the "happy couple" due to marry in two weeks have dropped out of communication.

the cats are pissed off.

My sister is stuck on Cape Cod with no vehicle and no way home.

In ather words...SNAFU


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM

YEars ago, Mom, I built a patio from scratch -- what was originally a sunbleached rectangle of old concrete became an L-shaped surface of rich Italian tile covered by a beautifully done sun-cover, with slates, beams and posts in a rich cedar and redwood. Over the years the patio provided many happy hours with friends. But the cedar had begun to suffer slightly from the sun and rain and wind-oh. So last weekend I re-oiled the whole thing from end to end and now it looks cared for, rich, dark and with a sort of glow to it. Velly nice. With the new patio lights and the new turf it looks downright homey!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM

I have CRP and AED instruction today, so I'll be able to same Amos's life again.

Rap, skip the lifesaving classes, take a typing class. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM

No, that's exactly what I meant to say. I have a class in Common People Re-living (CPR) and Amos's Everyday Drudgery (AED). This will permit me to "same" his life -- it will never change, just one plodding footstep after another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM

But you typed CRP. Commonly Radioactive People comes to mind. It wouldn't be Censoring Republican Puppets, not for Amos. That's my point. What class are you actually taking? What impact will it have on poor ol' Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM

Forget it, Rapaire. My life, which is mine, is not up for being samed. Long ago a wise man told me I would never be the same again, and so far, I haven't. And I really like it that way. So go same someone else, okay? I never wanted to be a Communist Republican Patriot and decline the opportunity.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 01:01 PM

Oh, that's right, I did type CRP. And I meant it. Amos is going to be part of the Conservative Reserve Program.

Mom will get a check from the government every year for this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:13 PM

Hahahahahahahahahaha!! Rapaire, I am now more persuaded than ever that you are a secret Republican. Nothing else could explain your sanctimonious delusory state.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM

Well, that describes Idaho, but what about me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:31 PM

M'siur, it is vaireee obviouss. You air zee veree ésprit of le Idaho. Zee personification, zee veritable paradigm!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 10:51 PM

La Legion, peut-^etre, mais moi, non. Je suis mais uno poco ni~no, uno hombre sincero, de donde crece las palmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:00 PM

Burp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:27 PM

Well, the cycle is obviously swinging back from manic, and is nw in its "polite self-effacement in several tongues" phase. Fakniatin'.


Popeye


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:16 AM

Mudcat seems to have started imploding today. Rap, you'd better ask a couple of the Legion guys to come over and help barricade the cellar doors. Once they've cooled off and sobered up they'll go home again (the Mudcatters, that is. There's no hope for the Legion).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:36 AM

The Legion! Ah, yes, the Legion. With its proud sons and daughters stepping out to defend The Right, The Left, and The Moderates; to defend the American, Canadian, UKian, Ozoid, Mexican, Shoshone, Bannock, Nez Perce, Lemhi Shoshone, Paiute, and All The Other Ways; able to lift tall glasses with a single malt; faster than a speeding double entendre; more powerful than a cabbage and bean burrito chased by cheap beer....

The Legion! If the Armorer could but find the key to the vault, Armed With the Latest Weaponry of Back In The Day; Highly Trained Keg Killers; Immersed in the Spirit of the Spirits; Defenders of Jusice As Long As Truth Doesn't Interfer.

The Legion! Modest and Unassuming, its motto of "Ubi Spiritiii Exorare!"

Ladies and Gentle, I give you...THE LEGION!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:37 AM

Sitting here quietly by yourself, I see. None of the boys staggered in from that binge out in the back yard, I see. Well, they'll wake up as soon as the dogs start running around and licking their faces. There's Poppy now, making a bee-line for Rap. Oops! I shoulda warned him that she's a crotch dog. . . guess he knows now. The pit bull Cinnamon will gently wake Amos. She's a sweetheart, but wait, she turned to wag at Poppy and thwacked Amos with her wagging tail. I should have warned him--it's like a bull whip when she's happy. Bam bam bam before you've had time to move. They'll survive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:53 AM

"Ladies and Gentle, I give you...THE LEGION!!

I am not sure I want it. Can we just let it stay with you?

Though it probably IS more highly thought of here ( DC) than either Congress or the present Administration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:13 AM

Rapaire:

Thank you for the offer. I have consulted with the Gubernator, who says that the admission of Legion members to California would violate at least three laws from the Uniform Code of Sanitation and Public Safety that he klnows of, and he is sure he could have his staff come up with a dozen more if asked. So he strongly recommends that they not even trybeing given to California. There are checkpoints at the border with every other state specifically designesd to prevent rotten vegetables from coming to The Sunshine State. Given Shwarznegger's reputation for tearing human bodies apart limb from limb just by smiling at them, I think we will have to decline your generous offer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

WHich was, just for the record, Post# 18444, one of the sturdiest numbers yet seen on the range.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:53 AM

That was a TOAST, not an actual offer. Although, for the right price, Idaho might consider...nah, that wouldn't be neighborly or neighbourly. Drunken, lecherous, toss-pot, conniving, rapacious, cuckolding, whore-mongering, lazy, craven, cowering, tainted, childish, broke-down, stove-up, dissolute, contemptible, raving, intemperate, boozing, cheating, swindling, gaudy, deceitful, prevaricating, unreliable, treacherous, irrelevant, and trivial scum they might be, but they're still Children of Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:57 AM

I think you forgot uneducated, illiterate and illigitimate in that list of the Legion's qualities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:01 PM

Nope. There are several PhDs, and almost every can read and write at least a little bit. And everyone's parents were married at one time or another and sometimes even to each other at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM

"Drunken, lecherous, toss-pot, conniving, rapacious, cuckolding, whore-mongering, lazy, craven, cowering, tainted, childish, broke-down, stove-up, dissolute, contemptible, raving, intemperate, boozing, cheating, swindling, gaudy, deceitful, prevaricating, unreliable, treacherous, irrelevant, and trivial scum they might be,"


So, they fit right in, here ( in DC). How would we keep them from being lost in the vast crowds of like individuals?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:04 PM

18450!


Besides, don't you need to elect them before you can send them here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

Well, yes, but the Legionaires have a little-mentioned problem with electile dysfunction...no-one will vote for them!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM

Man, am I embarrassed.

I thought that the "Pop-up Tents" thread was a Cialis confessional from BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM

Sometimes the Legionnaires sometimes, albeit rarely, tell the truth. This alone would make them stand out in DC (or as my late FIL called it, "Fantasyland-On-The-Potomac").


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 01:04 PM

HEY!

Our elected officials ( the best that money can buy) have been known to tell the truth on occasion. I heard one actually state that he saw daylight, DURING THE DAY, once.


Besides, the politions that one support ALWAYS tell the truth. It is the opposing ones that always lie.... BOTH sides agree on this, so it must be true.


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