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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Jun 08 - 12:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 08 - 01:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jun 08 - 02:44 PM
Acme 24 Jun 08 - 02:49 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 08 - 03:05 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 08 - 03:24 PM
Amos 24 Jun 08 - 03:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jun 08 - 04:08 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 08 - 05:43 PM
Acme 24 Jun 08 - 06:08 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM
Acme 24 Jun 08 - 06:18 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 08 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 08 - 06:26 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM
Amos 24 Jun 08 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 08 - 10:51 PM
Amos 24 Jun 08 - 10:53 PM
Acme 24 Jun 08 - 11:11 PM
Acme 24 Jun 08 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 08 - 07:00 AM
Amos 25 Jun 08 - 10:20 AM
Acme 25 Jun 08 - 11:02 AM
Amos 25 Jun 08 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 25 Jun 08 - 10:30 PM
Amos 25 Jun 08 - 11:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 08 - 08:07 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 08:25 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 08 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 09:18 AM
Acme 26 Jun 08 - 09:26 AM
Amos 26 Jun 08 - 10:00 AM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 11:43 AM
Amos 26 Jun 08 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 01:41 PM
Acme 26 Jun 08 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 03:27 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 04:00 PM
MMario 26 Jun 08 - 04:28 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 05:37 PM
Amos 26 Jun 08 - 07:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 08 - 07:22 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 07:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 08 - 07:44 PM
Amos 26 Jun 08 - 07:53 PM
Amos 26 Jun 08 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 08 - 08:26 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jun 08 - 09:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 12:06 PM

They're available in audio editions. To force him to watch the last movie of "The Cat In the Hat" would C&U punishment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 01:05 PM

LOL!!! Oh, you people are mean...! ;-D

Well, with that thought I think I'll go back out and finish the lawn mowing. Lovely day here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 02:44 PM

Yes! Shane's punishment for his tantrum should be 1000 hours community service spent in the library. But, here's the kicker...

He has to spend 250 of those hours reading! And not just any kind of reading either. He'll have to spend the entire 250 hours wading his way through Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow! With a quiz at the end of each chapter! Flunk the quiz, go back and read the chapter again.

Har, har, har! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 02:49 PM

Haven't you heard of the Geneva Convention?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 03:05 PM

Oh! This is awful. Just awful. Don't give the Ontario judiciary such ideas, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 03:24 PM

Or...Joyce's Finnegan's Wake!!!

Or Ginsburg's Howl!

Or anything by Henry Miller!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 03:42 PM

YEah--get him started on Quiet Days in Clichy or Sexus, Nexus, or Plexus and he will develop a voracious appetite for good literature!! Might even work him up gradually to Lady Chatterly's Lover!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 04:08 PM

I was going to suggest Proust's Remembrance of Things Past, but even a non-hoser might need more than 250 hours to get through that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 05:43 PM

I'd suggest the Russians -- Turgenev, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and the gang -- but he'd probably end up committing suicide. Same deal with Thomas Hardy. I knew a guy who only got a quarter of the way through "Jude the Obscure" before he hung, poisoned, gassed and shot himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:08 PM

I like Hardy. But you could give him Gibbon--The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM

Most people don't realize that that book was written by a monkey. A very intellectual monkey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:18 PM

Don't tell Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:20 PM

He already knows. He reads Gibbon voraciously. He says it takes a lot more concentration than the Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:26 PM

Edgar Rice Burroughs used to live here in Pocatello.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM

Yeah! Pretty cool. Chongo plans to do a pilgrimage there some day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 08:03 PM

You think Russian doldrums of Grand Literary Muscovite Pretension would even be penetrable by an intellect like Shane's? No waaaay, maaaan!! I tell ya, it has to have hot boxes and stiff peckers in it, or he'll bail out at the vey preface. Sorry to break the bad news and all, but you are forgetting what an absolute bolthole this asswipe is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 10:51 PM

So much for "Shane". Why he'd be interested the Hot Box and a bird in rigor mortis is beyond me, but to each his own I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 10:53 PM

For a librarian, Rapaire, your breadth of linguistic pattern recognition is rather skimpy, I must say...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 11:11 PM

Yeah, Rapaire! He was talking about a hot squeeze box, fer sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 11:12 PM

Sometimes this is just so amusing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 07:00 AM

Oh. I understand now.   Sorry for the confusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 10:20 AM

SOmetimes you act denser than you really are, Rapaire, for humorous effect. This case, however, is surely an exception.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 11:02 AM

Not even a chuckle for that great sight gag?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 11:09 AM

Oh, sorry. I really loved the squeezebox! Such character....


:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 10:30 PM

Matter falls into me and light itself cannot escape.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 11:35 PM

I am scintillated by the vibrancy of your new self-awareness, Sir. My regards to the Dark Matter Gang.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:07 AM

The state of North Carolina is offering free replacement license plates to anyone whose current plates contain the letters "WTF". It seems some people find those letters offensive. Personally, I doubt very many people will avail themselves of the free replacement offer. Most people I know would consider themselves extremely fortunate to receive a "WTF" license plate.

What I'd really find offensive would be a license plate with "GWB" on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:25 AM

I'd like one with FY on it. Or my favorite (but impossible to get):

rm -r *

That's the Unix command equivalent to "format c:", only more so.

On another, but similar subject, I'm going to have a piece of my right leg cut out this afternoon. The doctor called it a "dermal fibroma" but I really think it's part of the government plot to obtain parts of me so that THEY can clone a whole army of me, the epitome of genetic perfection. Why otherwise would they take all of those blood samples? What happened to all of my baby teeth and the one I knocked out in the bicycle accident, etc.?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:06 AM

When Florida changed to the "three-space-three" license plate format about 25 years ago, the original format was "three letters-space-three numerals". Nowadays, each three-character block has at least one numeral in it, so it's impossible to receive an "offensive" plate. No more WTFs, BFDs, SOBs, or FQUs. Sorta takes all the fun outta drivin', don't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:18 AM

Ah! here is where 1337 (leet) comes to your rescue!

BFD = 8FD
SOB = 5O8 or SO8
ASS = 455 or A55
BIG 1 = 81G 1
WTF = W7F
ARSE = 4R53

No need to thank me -- just send money. Lots of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:26 AM

Texas has vanity plates and they have a tsar of vanity plates who has to look at the proposed combinations and give them thumbs up or down based on what she thinks they might be trying to say. Plate Wrangler.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 10:00 AM

Wow. That's a really important job, innit?? Imagine if people could put offensive innuendo on their license plates. It would be awful!!!!! The streets would be littered with offended souls, cringing and resenting, the lines would be jammed with complaints no-one would pay the slightest attention to, morals would be corrupted, the economy would sag, inflation would loom, prices skyrocket, world peace would be compromised, the world would become rude...

Gee--take away the license plates and it sounds a lot like now...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 11:43 AM

I always thought it would be cool to have one that read:

FAH KYU


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 11:55 AM

See? Seeee?!!!?? Even Little Hawk, resident large-mouthed guru and Representative from the Cosmic Council of Enlightened Thought, wants an offensive license plate. You have no idea, LH, how many small children will have their purity dissolved into shards of disenchanted bitterness at the sight of your license plate, dangling at a rakish angle from the back of your 1978 chatreuse microbus. Parents will be undone, their dreams shattered, as the sight of your crude, abusive sentiment sends their children into wholesale delinquency!! You, sir, are a threat to Western civilization!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM

Amos is a Republican! Amos is a Republican!

A Neocon Nazi who most likely wants to invade Canada for their donuts, a Bushite who would bomb Bruno back to the Stone Age, who would seize Sudbury with squads of Special Forces for the mines!

His true colors (colours once is nefarious plan succeeds!) are shown for all to see!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 12:41 PM

"how many small children will have their purity dissolved into shards of disenchanted bitterness at the sight of your license plate"


LOL!!!!! My Gawd. Amos, I just love it when you go off on these impassioned rhetorical rants...

Most of the small children I ever met were busy assaulting the purity of the world around them with absolute gleefullness, though at least some of the little girls were not too bad that way. Well, perhaps they are more innocent in your neighborhood.

I just love the sound of it. FAHHHHH ....KYU! It has such a nice Chinese sort of ring to it, like the Fah Kyu Chinese laundry or the Fah Kyu Jolly Dragon Restaurant in Blind River, Ontario.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 01:41 PM

MOM!!! Amos is a Right-Wing Nut Case!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:19 PM

Saying it over and over and over and louder and louder won't make it so.

Unless you're Dubya, and have all of those resources at your beck and call to beat people over the head with misinformation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 03:27 PM

Okay, Stilly.

Mom, Amos is a nut case.

There. How's that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:00 PM

Fah Kyu. A name that was honored throughout the length and breadth of pre-Communist China.

Yet when the American general arrived, no respect was shown to that highly esteemed name by the ignorant round eyes!

The cigar smoking American general swaggered up with his pearl-handled pistols tightly cinched around his fat belly and barked at the Chinese guards at the front gate to the warlord's citadel, "Who's in charge around here?"

"Fah Kyu!" they said.

And that's when the trouble started....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:28 PM

just wondering how one would cinch a pearl-handled gun anywhere, let alone around the waist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 05:37 PM

It's the gun belt that you cinch, and the guns are in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 07:09 PM

I am bemused at Rapaire's projections--especially since he is just acting out my earlier accusation toward him!!! But ladies and gentleman (one of you, I am sure, will take the label rightfully or otherwise) I assure you that I am neither right-wing, nor a nut, nor a case. I am part -- a small part, to be sure -- of the solution, not the problem; I come from all ends of each spectrum, and I am probably more of a mammal than a nut or a vegetable.

But, please, don't ket the truth get in your way, rave on, rave on. Between this and Chongo's nympho sister and Rapaire's venerally dysfunctional Legion, the MOAB is more fun than day time television!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 07:22 PM

Wait... Chongo has a nympho sister? I totally missed that one. Guess I need to spend less time doing productive things and more time wasting my life away on The Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 07:38 PM

Amos has been spreading false rumors about that for a long time. He claims that Chongo has a sister called Chinga. A gross lie! Chongo does have two sisters, but neither one is called Chinga. One, Bonita, is still in Africa. The other one, Ruthie, emigrated to Holland and works there in a beauty salon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 07:44 PM

Okay. I thought there might have been a Bonobo in the woodshed or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 07:53 PM

Oh, L:ittle Hawk, you are SUCH a liar!! What is it about middle-class approval that makes you so desperate for it that you to divorce yourself from reality? You know perfectly well Chinga is the sailor's friend the length and width of Wells Street.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:22 PM

And in passing, congratulations to BeeDubyaEll for a smashing capture of the 24K200 th post.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:26 PM

I have a hole in my right leg now. Some of my precious blood leaked out, too. It's all part of the government plot to clone my perfect genetic pattern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 09:31 PM

LLOL!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, Christ, you had me in stitches here, Amos. Darn near fell off my chair that time. ;-D

Yup, that's me. I'll do anything for middle-class approval. Anything! My one dream is to live a life similar to the people on that old show "Father Knows Best". I need a devoted wife, 3 cute kids who are in the Scouts, a nice house in the suburbs, a pipe to smoke, and a dog to bring me my slippers. What the hell happened???


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Mudcat time: 27 April 6:33 PM EDT

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