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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 25 Jul 08 - 09:32 AM
Amos 25 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM
Acme 25 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,Gluon (and pups) 25 Jul 08 - 01:21 PM
MMario 25 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM
Amos 25 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 03:27 PM
Acme 26 Jul 08 - 03:43 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM
Acme 27 Jul 08 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM
Amos 27 Jul 08 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 09:31 PM
Amos 27 Jul 08 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 09:01 AM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM
Acme 28 Jul 08 - 11:10 AM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 08 - 04:07 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 04:45 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 04:46 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 09:03 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 11:57 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 08 - 12:00 AM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 12:30 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 08 - 12:47 AM
Acme 29 Jul 08 - 01:06 AM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 08:33 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 08 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 08 - 09:36 AM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 08 - 10:32 AM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM
MMario 29 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM
Acme 29 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM
MMario 29 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM
Amos 29 Jul 08 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 08 - 02:54 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 09:32 AM

I didn't bang into the dresser. I got to the charleston/hornpipe part and fell down the steps, all thirteen of them. I tried to grab the rope on my way down but the trapdoor opened and I missed it.

Oh, man!, am I bruised, sore, mictruated, stiff, lacerated, macerated, fractured, cut, and generally debilitated. And it's all Amos' fault.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM

I am so sorry, Rapaire. I know my Acts of Will sometimes get a little zingy, causing spiritual perturbations in the aether in regions far beyond my normal mortal sphere of influence. I just didn't know you were in the line of fire. Oh, God, I feel like Dick Cheney!! I promise never to beam a psychic impulse in your direction again ever!!


...Welll....



Hardly ever.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM

Sit where you are and my puppy Poppy will come commiserate with you. She loves for someone to sit still so she can wiggle and cuddle and she'll lick your wounds. The dog hair will wash out, and the slobber isn't industrial strength like Cinnamon comes up with. When a pit bull licks you, you stay licked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon (and pups)
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 01:21 PM

Quark!


Slobber!


Whimper! 



Quark!


Drool!


Quark!


Whimper!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM

And when a duck-dog licks you there is a possiblity that one either stays licked or were never licked at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM

Hey!! When did Gluon's maternal eigenstate sheaf coalesce into an actual reproductive vector?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM

Who knows when/where, or even if/or? You know it's hard to tell with Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM

Good heavens, Mom! We turn our backs for just a little tiny moment and I find you nearly at the bottom, between Ghanaian sweets and smoking a White Horse folk festival! And you're all covered in...well, you're a fright! Here, go take a nice warm bath and have some lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 03:27 PM

IS Mom a projection?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 03:43 PM

No, we are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 08:03 PM

Why would Mom want to project something like us?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM

I have projections whenever I stand up or lay down. Some of them are permanent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 11:28 PM

Those are called priapism, Rapaire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM

Dang. I thought it was called a nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 01:32 AM

So a nose-job at your house involves. . .



























Kleenex. Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM

And toes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 04:31 PM

You do not have to use Kleenex on your toes. Instead, soak them for thirty minutes in water that starts out as hot as you can bear it. After twenty minutes or so, scrub the calluses off with one of those mini-cheese-graters they sell, and dig under the toenails and clean up the cuticles. When it's all done, soak them a bit longer, then towel them off and lather with a good skin cream, and put on clean soft socks.

If you do all this, you will feel much better and will thank me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM

But they will still protrude, won't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 09:31 PM

I think Gluon has indeed pupped. There are several small things humping my legs right now, as well as one large one...and one small trickle of Something Warm running down my calf, and it ain't blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 09:59 PM

Well, yer too old to be handling yerself that way, and that's the truth.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:01 AM

Handling myself in what way, Amos? I haven't rappelled in years -- is that what you mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM

I thin it was more a replling concept. I'm sure you've kept up in that art.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:10 AM

Are you trying to tell us about pup-pee?

It's an occupational hazard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

I woudl expect Rapaire is old enough and brave enough to say "puppy pee" without flinching. After all he has all those guns and everything.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM

Why would I harm one of Gluon's offspring?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM

I have no idea, Rapaire...why would you?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM

I dunno...why would you??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:07 PM

"Wherefore art thou, Gluon?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:45 PM

Oh, LH. Surely you know there should be no comma in that sentence. And you know perfectly well wherefore he is Gluon--you were a member of the MOAB when he was named. Why do you ask why? Wherefore art thou Little Hawk?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:46 PM

So, Rapaire...you do know you're talking in circles, right?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:03 PM

Amos,
                         I             don't
                   think                that
                      I                     am
                        but             you
                           never know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:57 PM

There was an old librarian
Of spirit all contrarian
Whose fondest pleasure was to split
All points of view by opposites.

This bookish soul, with verve electric
Did so pursue the dialectic
That all his friends, and his poor Missus
Were swamped with his antitheses!

And while he dusted books and files
He contemplated, with a smile,
(Arranging tomes upon a shelf)
Learning to contradict himself!!

But when he'd try he'd find confusion,
And could not divide his inner fusion
And though he roared with temper splenic,
It only made him schizophrenic.

He'd argue pro, then argue con
He'd move things off and put them on
But somehow found he never could
Believe the bad while preaching good.

And nor, which he found just as sad,
Believe the good while preaching bad!
And sorely though his ego pricked
He could his Self not contradict!!

The struggle finally drove him barmy
And he ran off and jined the Army
Where arguments, both small and big,
Led him at last into the brig.

And there he sat, at even tide,
Argued up points, and took up sides,
But though he leaped and cursed and roared
He with himself stayed in concord.

Alloyisius Tabernacle Quire
Ballads from Pocatello
Legion Press, 1938


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:00 AM

So, you, object, to, my, misplaced, comma, do, you Amos? ;-) Get thee to a monastery, thou churl, thou vile cutpurse, and adorn thyself in sackcloth and ashes for the nonce. Thou art akin to a vile humour, weighing heavily upon the shrinking air and thou dost offend my senses most greivously. Therefore avaunt, scoundrel! Get thee hence, lest I with a bare bodkin put final surcease to thy wretched existence here and now and leave thee as offal for the carrion birds!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:30 AM

Go to, thou art a used wineskin, a wasted bit of boarfat not meet for hounds. Thou knowest full thou didst mistake thy where and thy wherefore, wherefore thou dost in giant clouds of drivel raise protest. Wert thou a candle thou wouldst shed no light; a cupboard, an' thou wouldst be bare; a glass, then empty of all good sport. Go thou to the Father and confess thy sins in good faith and be thou well-shrived, ere thou turn well-shriveled. Go to, thou clubfoot, thou jackanapes. Get thee to confession.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:47 AM

LOL!

Verily, sir, thou dost sow the seeds of thine own early demise in those ill-sought words! I shall return on the morrow girded for battle and thou shalt eat them. A cold meal to be sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 01:06 AM

Amos, do they have a "brig" in the Army?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 08:33 AM

Wel, no. But, I may ask, what is your point?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 09:27 AM

Heh! Don't you love the way people slagged each other off in medieval times, Amos? It sure puts the present witless repartee of worthies like Shane McBride to shame!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 09:36 AM

He marched down, he marched up,
Turned out as on parade:
A loaded shotgun in his hands
He guarded the stockade.

And from behind the wire rose
Many lamentations rude,
Gnashing teeth and wailing screams --
And suggestions very crude.

"Oh when will miscreants ever learn?"
He asked himself each day.
"They do not know and do not care,
But, like asses, always bray.

"Since they cannot grasp the ying and yang
That make up our existence,
Or understand the paradox
Of listening to the silence,

"Why should I not end their misery?
'Tis quite within my power."
And he chambered a round of double-ought
To shoot into their bower.

"But hold!" he said unto himself.
"To shoot them would be mean,
They all are human after all
And the shotgun I must then clean."

And so he held his fire and pity showed
(As one fully human would)
And contemplating life's complexities
He pondered "may" and "should".

          --A. G. Overcloak, Rhymes For The Restless


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 10:20 AM

Wow, Rapaire!!

That's pretty powful stuff....



:)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 10:32 AM

VERY good, Rapaire. Bravo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM

And LH--the style of the banter you and Iw ere lately emulating is not medieval, but Elizabethan, most of our familiarity with it being a gift from the renowned playwright Wm Shaxpeere of that time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

Did anyone feed the Gluonlings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM

IS that what they are to be called? It has a certain wistful charm.

We could name them Up, Down, Charm, Strange, Top and Bottom if there were enough of them. Has anyone figured out a way to count them? And--I blush to ask, but it should be knwon--are they...um...entangled?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM

Amos, you wrote:

The struggle finally drove him barmy
And he ran off and jined the Army
Where arguments, both small and big,
Led him at last into the brig.



That's why I asked about the brig in the Army. You brought it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM

I knew that. Pardon my technical innacuracy. I guess it spoils the whole piece. Sigh. Well, back to the drawing board.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM

The Army has many things
Rifles, Humvees, and tanks:
But to have a brig
They must borrow it
From the Navy and Marines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM

I do hope he wrote it down rather then bringing it up and depositing on the screen; but that's moot.

"stockade" just doesn't rhyme with twig


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 01:01 PM

The struggle finally drove him barmy
And he ran off and jined the Army
Where arguments, both large and small,
Brought him into the Stockade last Fall.


The struggle finally drove him barmy
And he ran off and jined the Army.
There, squabbles he so often made
They pitched his ass in the stockade.

Rapaire, your rhymes don't even rhyme, ptui on them.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 02:54 PM

Near rhyme: Where the rhyme repeats, the sound is close but not exactly the same (given the varieties of dialect, this is probably typical of even most "perfect" rhymes in English).

                     Will't please you sit and look at her? I said
                   "Fra Pandolf" by design, for never read
                     Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
                     The depth and passion of its earnest glance,
                     But to myself they turned (since none puts by
                     The curtain I have drawn for you, but I)...

                            from "My Last Duchess," Robert Browning                        
                            (1842)

    The first two lines of the clip are perfect rhymes. The second pair are near. The third pair are nearer.

    Friend, your fugue taxes the finger
      Learning it once, who would lose it?
    Yet all the while a misgiving will linger,
      Truth's golden o'er us although we refuse it-
    Nature, thro' cobwebs we string her.

                   from "Memorabilia," Robert Browning (1896)

          "Linger" and "string her" are a near rhyme. "Lose it" and "refuse it" might be in some dialects.

                      So we'll go no more a roving
                      So late into the night,
                      Though the heart be still as loving,
                      And the moon be still as bright....

                               from "So We'll go no more a roving,"
                               Lord Byron, 1817

"Roving" and "loving," in 1817, may have been exact rhyme but we don't have any direct means of finding out.   Now, outside of Liverpool, they're near, though some may argue strictly for their being consonant rhyme.

            She'd the brooch I had bought
                         And the necklace and sash on,
                  And her heart, as I thought,
                            Was alive to my passion;
          And she'd done up her hair in the style that the Empress
             had brought into fashion.

                            from "Atalanta in Camden Town," Lewis
                            Carroll (1869)

"Sash on" and "passion" are a fine near rhyme.

    Cold-blooded, smooth-faced, placid miscreant!
       Dabbling its sleek young hands in Erin's gore,
      And thus for wider carnage taught to pant,
       Transferr'd to gorge upon a sister shore...

                   from "Don Juan," Byron (1824)
   
"Miscreant" and "taught to pant" are a good near rhyme.


Mom says that Amos owes me an apology. And a lot of punitive damages.


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