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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 14 Jun 09 - 01:27 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 09 - 08:40 AM
Acme 14 Jun 09 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 09 - 11:35 AM
Little Hawk 14 Jun 09 - 12:12 PM
Amos 14 Jun 09 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 09 - 03:41 PM
Acme 14 Jun 09 - 06:54 PM
Janie 14 Jun 09 - 08:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 09 - 08:53 PM
Acme 14 Jun 09 - 09:29 PM
Amos 14 Jun 09 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 09 - 10:04 PM
Amos 14 Jun 09 - 10:27 PM
Little Hawk 14 Jun 09 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 08:32 AM
MMario 15 Jun 09 - 10:01 AM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 10:15 AM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 09 - 10:45 AM
MMario 15 Jun 09 - 10:50 AM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 09 - 10:59 AM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 11:35 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 12:13 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 12:33 PM
Acme 15 Jun 09 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 12:38 PM
GUEST,Number 6 15 Jun 09 - 12:41 PM
GUEST,number 6 15 Jun 09 - 12:44 PM
MMario 15 Jun 09 - 12:59 PM
GUEST,number 6 15 Jun 09 - 01:06 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 03:06 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 04:02 PM
Acme 15 Jun 09 - 04:28 PM
number 6 15 Jun 09 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 06:20 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 06:26 PM
Charley Noble 15 Jun 09 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 10:35 PM
Acme 15 Jun 09 - 10:49 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 09 - 10:53 PM
Amos 15 Jun 09 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 09 - 08:43 AM
Amos 16 Jun 09 - 09:49 AM
Amos 16 Jun 09 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 09 - 12:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 01:27 AM

I think it's mental and emotional hygiene that you might better speak of when it comes to moral imperatives, Amos. ;-)

But when ones needs desperately to pee, it's not a moral imperative...it's a physical imperative.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 08:40 AM

So if the "urgent natural necessity" again falls upon me as upon my old friend Setanta --

"Denaid comarli for Ailill, Gudid Conculainn im for lecud asind inudsa ar ni ragaid ar ecin tairis uair rodlebaing a long laith, ar ba ges dosom intan no linged a lon laith ind imreditis a traigthi iarma ocus a escada remi, odus muil a orcan for a lurgnib, ocus in dala suil inachend, ocus araili fria chend anechtair; do coised fer chend for a beolu. Nach findae bid fair ba hathithir delca sciach, ocus banna fola for cach finnu. Ni aithgnead coemu na cairdiu. Cumma no slaided riam ocus iarma. Is desin dober fir nolnecmacht in riastarthu do animm do Coinculainn. (Lebor na hUidhre, fol. 34, b1.)

which, since you do not read or speak the Old Irish:

    "'Take counsel together,' said Ailil; 'entreat Cuchullain that he may permit you to leave this place, since you cannot pass by him forcibly, because his lon laith has sprung,'—For it was usually the case with him when his lon laith started in him, that his feet turned backwards and his arms forward, and the calves of his legs were transferred to his shins, and one of his eyes sank deep into his head, whilst the other was protruded, and a man's head would fit in his mouth. Every hair on his head was sharper than then thorns of whitethorn, and a drop of blood stood on each hair. He would not know friends or relations, and he slew equally backwards and forwards. Hence it was that the men of Connacht applied the name of 'Riastartha' to Cuchullainn."

(Of course, knowing him from is youth he'll always be Setanta to me.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:14 AM

MOM says you'd better get out and mow the lawn before it gets super hot out there. Already starting too late, but it will be worse later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:35 AM

63F is super-hot? It's 61 now. Yes ma'am, gonna be a real scorcher today. Even got a 30% chance of rain in various places 'round here.

But I gotta go to the food store and then go get some topsoil first.

THEN I can make a stab a cutting the grass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 12:12 PM

We're still having the coldest spring in living memory here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 12:19 PM

His Lon Laith hath Sprung? What the devil, oh Grubber of Textes, is a lon laith, then?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:41 PM

"Battle Fury" is about as close as you'll get to a translation, Amos.

I'm sorry; I should have known that you wouldn't be familiar with the Tain or any part of the Ulster Cycle of Irish literature, or why the Pains Of The Men of Ulster forced my ol' buddy Setanta to guard that ford. But that's okay, I realize that you're not a librarian and hence can't be expected to know everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 06:54 PM

MOM nearly fell off the porch laughing when she heard that I walked through Home Depot with a big tear down the back of my gardening pants. I had to quick find a nail apron to put on to hide the rip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 08:43 PM

A woman after my own heart, Stilly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 08:53 PM

A tear down the back of your gardening pants? Most people's tears go down their cheeks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 09:29 PM

Guy behind me in line at the return desk leaned forward and quietly said "Ma'am, your trousers are ripped" or some such brief message that had me reaching back and finding the seam had split after I'd torn them working. Several inches of undies in view. So there I am, walking through the store, wondering if I wrecked one of my better pairs of undies while I was exposed to the world and sitting the ground, instead of being glad I had a better pair on, all things considered.

I think my reaction is thus entirely because of my age. Had this happened, say, when I was 20 and out climbing a mountain. . . oh, wait, it did happen then. I borrowed someone's wind pants for the rest of the trip. I guess this scenario has never resulted in a crisis response.

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 09:57 PM

A little fresh air in the very best places is never a crisis, ma'am!! :D

Rapaire, your condescension is much too thick and overdone to be effective, I am sorry. You have to be subtler to make it stick.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 10:04 PM

God knows I'm sorry, Amos. There is no one sorrier than I am, and there are lots of people who will tell you that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 10:27 PM

Well, I am sure they are all optimists.

Mom, it was too chilly for kayaking with the overcast and all. So today I finished reading Little Woemn and went to a dressage competition and made a movie for a friend out of her entry. Quite a nice afternoon. So be of good cheer -- your fountain of virtue and bright sunlight has not ceased its effervescence.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:13 PM

Shane is sorrier than you are, Rapaire.

He's also, however, completely unapologetic about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 08:32 AM

You may be interested to know that The Idaho Legion has voted, without dissent, to elect Shame McBride to the post of Septic Stirrer. The position includes the rank of Chief Petty Person, and all he has to do is walk around in the tank to keep it stirred up and unblock an occasional blockage. His wage will be in beer: the more stirring he does and the more blockages he unblocks the more beer he will get. There is also the option for merit pay. Lodgings in the worksite are available without cost and he can have all he can eat. A first-aid kit is also included if no one has ripped it off again.

This is certainly a step forward and upwards for his career, and I urge him to accept the offer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:01 AM

Hey Mom! If you try to reach me between the 18th and the 30th and I don't answer that's because I'm cruising on the Royal Caribbean lines and relaxing.

MMario


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:15 AM

You dawg!!! Whither wendest???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:45 AM

That's quite an offer, Rap. The beer particularly. I fear that you may tempt Shane into leaving Canada!

This would be a national tragedy...or a cause for countrywide celebrations. I'm not sure which.

Well, we'll have to wait and see when and if it happens, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:50 AM

Thor's Day I drive to Baltimore;

On Friday Morn, we set sail (friday afternoon, actually - but that doesn't sound as good)

Up the eastern Seaboard = To St John;Halifax; AND back, Bar Harbor and Boston.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:59 AM

Bar Harbor sounds like the ideal place in which to get blue-blind paralytic drunk and disorderly. It must be a favorite destination for sailors, I would think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 11:30 AM

The word does not come from alcoholic vendors, Ye Ninnuye!!

The place was founded in 1763 by Israel Higgins and John Thomas, merchants and fartmers from Cape Cod; the community was incorporated in 1796 as Eden, after Sir Richard Eden, an English statesman. In the 1840s, its rugged maritime scenery attracted the Hudson River School and Luminism artists Thomas Cole, Frederic Edwin Church, William Hart and Fitz Henry Lane. Inspired by their paintings, journalists, sportsmen and "rusticators" followed. Agamont House, the first hotel in Eden, was established in 1855 by Tobias Roberts. Birch Point, the first summer estate, was built in 1868 by Alpheus Hardy.

The "Bar" is an island which protects, or bars, the harbor, appropriately named Bar Island.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 11:31 AM

It's a snooty tourist destination, but there IS a bagpipe shop there near the docks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 11:35 AM

If you think it is snooty now, you should have been there during the Gilded Age. It would have made your head spin, there was so much condescension from so many directions, it was hard to know which way was Up!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:13 PM

"Up" was the direction from which it was trickling down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:23 PM

Well, it is one thing to suffer from someone looking down their nose at you, but back then, people would stand on their heads for the chance to be seen looking down their noses at you, so it got kind of complex, you see. When you add in a lot of askance looking, and the obliquity of disapprobation on every corner, and the dubious disdain of various gargoyles, it really got confusing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:33 PM

If I remember rightly, the town is downhill from the Rockefeller house. There was a sign there that said "Flush twice, it's a long way to the poor folks."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:35 PM

Oy. High 90s rest of the week. Summer appears to have arrived in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:38 PM

Awwwwwwww....the high will be around 72 here....

By the way, after three weeks of rain the fire danger is "Low."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Number 6
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:41 PM

"Up the eastern Seaboard = To St John;Halifax; AND back, Bar Harbor and Boston. "

I believe you mean Saint John, not St. John .... us citizens of this fair town take offence to that.

biLL


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:44 PM

undless of course you mean St. John's Nfld.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 12:59 PM

Sorry bill - just copied it from the itinerary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 01:06 PM

those damned intinerary peeple !!!

Have a good trip Mario and hopefully you want have a foggy day in Saint John.

biLL :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 02:29 PM

WIshing you great delights in your travels, old son.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 03:06 PM

Beware of U-boats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 04:02 PM

It's the Non-U boats that get you every time. Loud drunken parties, immoral conduct, loose women in beaded skirts...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 04:28 PM

That reads either "hopefully you want [to] have a foggy day" or "hopefully you won't have a foggy day." Hmmmm. Choices, choices.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: number 6
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 04:59 PM

Hmmmmm .... coming into this town ... hopefully you will want a foggy day ... but then again may you won't.

good one ... SRS ... thanks for pointing that one out. :)

biLL


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 06:20 PM

The best way to enjoy the town is on a clear foggy day. This frequently happens, so don't sweat it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 06:26 PM

"I hope you will not have a foggy day when you arrive," he said hopefully.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 09:58 PM

Only 256 more posts and we hit 1 million!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, mathematically challenged


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:35 PM

And vice-versa.

Rapaire
An English Literature major.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:49 PM

Clearly, you should want a foggy day. Dew you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:50 PM

I am not sure what you mean by vice-versa--perhaps you are still disoriented from all that Bah Habbah condescension? I merely wished to point out that "hopefully" is an adverb.


I have finished "Little Women" to good effect and am half waythrough an early Wodehouse book called "The Girl on the Boat". I haven't read this much in years, all thanks to my wee iPhone.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 10:53 PM

You should also read "Little Men" and "Jo's Girls". If you're going to read that stuff you should just go Alcott.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 09 - 11:20 PM

Moderation in everything, my friend. I wouldn't want to get Alcott up in one author.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 08:43 AM

Goodness gracious, Amos -- I read all those before I was ten years old (really). "LW" was good, and the rest were boring. Kinda like "Uncle Tom" and then the rest of Harriet's output.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 09:49 AM

I did too, my boastful friend. It is in the rediscovery of them as a full grown twit that I am finding so much pleasure. They have matured remarkably since 1955.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 11:16 AM

Me mother was a BS thread
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
With rings of fancies 'round her head!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

She was mighty long and awful tall
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
And she moved around like a cannon-ball!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

Me mother she had twenty kids,
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
An' never minded what they did!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

She kept them clothed and kept them fed
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
And laid belying bars to their heads!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

And though this made their puir heads sore.
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
She says we often asked for more
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

One night when I my watch did stand
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
I felt me Mother's ghostly hand!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

"What has of all my young became?"
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
Her spirit whispered in my brain.
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

Oh, one has joined a band of cooks
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
And another trawls among old books!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

And several more have gone a stray
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
ANd never write from day to day!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

And one, the most contrarian
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
Says he is now a librarian!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

Me mother's spirit wept and wailed
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
And swore as Mom she'd surely failed!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

She cussed and swore and wept her tears
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
ANd suddenly, she disappeared!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

And to the day I do confess
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
I miss my Mom of All BS
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line

Me mother was a BS thread
Heave and haul, my bully boys!
With rings of fancies 'round her head!
Oh, heave and haul on the BS line


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 12:55 PM

All mortal things are subject to decay
And when A--- writes, e'en monarchs must obey.
So 'twas a Bloomsday e'er to fine
With smiling sun and skies sublime
That A--- cut a chantey down to size
And then proceeded himself to anthologize.


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