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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 19 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 09 - 10:33 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:01 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 11:54 AM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 02:36 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 05:26 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 06:30 PM
Acme 20 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM
Janie 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM
Amos 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM
Acme 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 07:25 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 08:27 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 09:24 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 10:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 10:57 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 11:26 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM
Amos 21 Aug 09 - 11:39 PM
Janie 21 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM
Amos 22 Aug 09 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 09 - 11:16 AM
Amos 22 Aug 09 - 11:18 AM
gnu 22 Aug 09 - 01:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM

Happppppy BIRTHDAY, Mister JAAAAAANIEEEEE!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:33 PM

Oh, hell, just buy him a bottle of booze and let him celebrate in his own way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM

I am sure that would be well received. But it might be a kick to know she has all these weird friends wishing him well.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:01 AM

That's why I suggested it.

A very sodden birthday, to you, to you
A very sodden birthday to you....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM

Hi, Mom!!

Guess WHAT????!!!! Another day at work!!


Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


Well, it beats starving.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:06 AM

And all for the love of a beautiful number, here's some cinnamon-flavored tea for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM

I have yet to understand why it is that I am expected to work AS WELL AS give this joint class.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:54 AM

But I snagged 30903, so neener, neener Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:36 PM

Oh, well!! I didn't realize you were appointed as the Inducer of Class to the Mudcat, Mister Rapaire, Sir. Pardon me for not having treated you with all due respect all these many years. If I had but known you were the Source of Class, I would have walked much more carefully around your big, ferocious, class-emanating Self, you betcharoony!! I am sure Mom will sleep better knowing she gets her class from such a qualified source, especially now that you're done with your scheduled visits to the parole officer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:56 PM

Oh, no!! Did I say that in my out-loud voice??!!! Oh, god, now the class police will be looking for me...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 05:26 PM

Excuse me, please. By "this joint" I meant the Library, not MC and especially not MOAB, the classiest thread in the classy Cafe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 06:30 PM

Ah, forgive me meinherr. I misunderstood you and have made a terrible mistake in aiming my withering sarcasm in your direction. I take it all back. I will send it all to Little Hawk when he shows up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM

Do you suppose, by now, there is some absolute classic in world fiction embedded in the pages and pages and pages of MOAB? We need to tease it out and get a copyright and publisher and get all of our names on it (broken down by percent of posts would be equitable, though some might argue that quality and quantity are not an equal exchange) and get some money and we can all retire.

Agreed? Anyone want to start looking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:29 PM

One novel? Hell, all of the knowledge that Humanity knows or will ever know is contained herein. Every novel ever written or to be written is here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM

The letter "e" has appeared in this thread 2,764,379 times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM

I'm reasonably certain we haven't used the letter ﻍ yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:00 PM

Nor have we used "". In fact, we don't even know what it is. It may have meaning only to freds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:02 PM

That's the Greek letter "mu". It's roughly equivalent to "r".

(Gad, but you should be glad I'm around.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:43 PM

What would the primary theme be? Playing the Dozens?

Notice I said "theme", and not "plot."

OK, ok, I'm a relative newcomer to the thread, and certainly not a major contributor (in terms of quantity or quality.) What I do suspect, however, is that stream of consciousness is generally much more interesting to the streamers than to the audience.

Then there is the problem of promotion. To promote said book, one must determine a genre - I mean - who is
our target market audience - ya' know?

SciFi? Trash Romance? Historical Novel? Fantasy? Adventure? Mythology? Psychological Thriller?





Wait.












I got an idea.










A flash of brilliance, actually.......









The first book in a new genre.....

















Ready?




































































































On second thought, nevermind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:51 PM

1, is used in engineering circles to symbolize the prefix micro.

2. The theme is the transcendent nature of high-quality BS in contrast with the dynamic fluctuation of quotidien reality in the common sandbox, the fact-based, agreed-upon, BS-free world which dampens the crerative spirit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM

Cool!


Now, what about a book title?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 11:36 PM

The Unbearable Illumination of the Mother of All BS

Soaring with Mom

The Mother of Paths Not Taken

I Was a Teenage Mother of All BS


...

Catch me quick, I'm siiiinking.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM

I think...

The Khandu Code

or perhaps

The Book of Revelations

or maybe

The Decline And Fall

or, if you prefer

The Necronomicon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:38 AM

So "" is "mu", huh? I've heard of it, but never seen it written in Greek.

But it's a bit of serendipity that "mu" should arise just as the discussion has turned toward the theme of the MOAB. We are referring not to the Greek letter, but the Japanese word, best known to westerners via the Zen koan:

A monk asked Jsh: "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?"

Jsh answered: "Mu."


"Mu" is a negative answer, but it doesn't literally mean "No". It means something more like "Unask the question" or, in a more modern translation, "What the fuck?". What more appropriate answer to the question "What is the nature of the MOAB?" could there be?

And, of course, there's the added bonus of the fact that "Mu" is a homonym of "Moo", thus establishing a link between the bovine source of literal BS and the MOABic source of cosmic BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:10 AM

MOM! Diane Rehm caught her heel in the hem of her pants yesterday and cracked her pelvis when she fell! She'll be away from her radio program for weeks! Oh, we will miss her so! I know this is MOM's favorite radio call in talk show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 02:22 PM

In modern slang it has transliterated into "Meh" which kind of means "I barely acknowledge being in the presence of your question in any dimension."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM

Odd, that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM

And not alone therein, good my Bookmaster!!


Well. Momm, we survived the perfect storm of technological ingenuity and creativity this week and got two patents filed by COB Friday. I don't mind saying I am glad this week is over.

Happy weekend. I am away for Dana Point on the morning tide (well, actually, I am going by I-5) but I shall endeavour to come a -calling by the end of Sunday. Pray, siblings, keep our mother well, and do not slight her, nor her false rumors tell as would affright her.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:19 PM

I WAS ABLE, WITH THE HELP OF PULLEYS, TO RAISE MY LEFT ARM STRAIGHT UP AT PT THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!

Four weeks and two days after surgery....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:25 PM

Wait a minute! Amos can't just take off and go kayaking! It's his turn to change Mom's Depends!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 07:29 PM

Looks like poor old Mom's in the shit now for sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 08:27 PM

With the help of a pulley and what dose of oxycontin?



Seriously, that's good to hear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 08:30 PM

Well, it's all depends, as they iuseter say!!

I am going to Dana Point to visit old shipmates and pretend I still remember all the old sea songs we useter get blind drunk over in the focsle berths. They'll pretend I got 'em right and we'll have a grand auld time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:09 PM

Mom!! Guess what I am downloading!! It's a neat app for my iPhone which uses sonar to measure distance to distant objects.


Is that KEWL??? Or WHAT???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:21 PM

Will it detect a U-boat that's stalking a convoy? Or even a bunch of fish? I've got a $30 sonic distance measurer from Home Depot that will measure distances up to 100 feet on dry land, but it ain't worth nothin' in water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 09:24 PM

That's really cool, Amos! I need to know how far is it to Rigel. Yeah, I know it's pretty far away so your iPhone's accuracy may be questionable, but within a couple hundred yards is close enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:18 PM

Can you tell me how far off of Wrightsville beach the eye of Hurricane Bill will be tomorrow at 11:35 am?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:24 PM

Rapaire:

Yeah, but will it make phone calls, play music, and look up words?? Call up Google Maps and Wikipedia pages on any subject? Play games and send email?

Bruce: Sonar range-finding does not work in a vacuum, I imagine you can figger why. But just to satisfy your insatiable curiousity, Rigel, which is in Orion, is 237.00176 parsecs away, or 773 light years or 4,503,033,440,000,000 (about 4.503,033x1015 miles..

Rigel, for your information, has a diameter of about 100 million kilometres, some seventy times that of the Sun. It has too distant companions which form a blue double-star.

Be well, and don't get too close to any blue super-giants.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM

Sonar range-finding does not work in a vacuum....

Yeah, that's what I expected you'd say. It's so typical of you engineer types.   Always obsessing over details like laws of physics and such.

But that's okay. If it were possible to send a sound pulse to Rigel, it would take roughly 1,351,250,380 years for it to get there and back. I don't have the time to wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM

Janie:

It will be 173 miles SSW of the Wrightsville Beach, plus or minus thirty-two miles.


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 10:57 PM

The answer to my question, I guess, is no, your gizmo can not tell me that.


That's ok, you and your gizmo are good people anyways.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:26 PM

I meant SSE, sorry. Don't you BLEEVE meee?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:33 PM

Ah, Amos, I always BLEEVE YU.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:39 PM

I bet its pretty close. LEt me know at 1130 tomorrow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM

Please forgive me kind sirrah. In my impatience, I missed your post with the specifics, and have just now realized how I may have maligned the reputation of you and your device.

I'm contenplating, though not very seriously, a run down to the coast late tomorrow afternoon to observe the power of wind on water on barrier island when the winds themselves do not caress the barrier islands, but rather, send the sea in their stead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 10:48 AM

Hi, Mom! I just downloaded a hyperspatial temperature sensor app for my iPhone! It's really cool! I pointed it at Albebaran last night and, ten seconds later, it told me that the star's surface temperature is 3,050 Kelvin. The app uses hyperspatial wormholes to bypass that old 671,000,000 MPH speed limit imposed by the Relativity Police. Otherwise, I'd have had to wait 130 years for the results to come back.

I showed it to Gluon, but he wasn't impressed. I believe his comment translated to, "Big deal. I could have done it in half the time."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:12 AM

Well, it ran a bit faster northerly than I had expected. But never mind--it's an experimental app, not like BWL's which is obviously Federally approved.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:16 AM

Well it's no WONDER Amos spent all those years marooned on a desert island. He doesn't know his SSE from his SSW.

Ah, Amos ol' buddy boy -- don't get out of the sight of land, okay? Maybe you should tie a really long rope to the kayak and the bumper of your car, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 11:18 AM

Sir, fie on you or trying to make capital out of a simple typo. I assure you, I know the two apart as clearly as I know the difference between your upper and lower ends, easy though it may be to confuse them.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:04 PM

I do north.


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Mudcat time: 16 August 9:48 PM EDT

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