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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 25 Aug 09 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 09 - 09:22 AM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 10:13 AM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 09 - 11:50 AM
MMario 26 Aug 09 - 11:51 AM
MMario 26 Aug 09 - 11:53 AM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 12:00 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 09 - 12:15 PM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 01:47 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 09 - 02:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Aug 09 - 03:03 PM
Acme 26 Aug 09 - 03:23 PM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 09 - 03:59 PM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 04:28 PM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 09 - 10:45 PM
Amos 26 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 09 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 09 - 04:15 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 04:18 PM
Little Hawk 27 Aug 09 - 06:14 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 27 Aug 09 - 07:26 PM
gnu 27 Aug 09 - 07:32 PM
Little Hawk 27 Aug 09 - 07:43 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 09:25 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 09 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 09 - 10:42 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 10:56 PM
Janie 27 Aug 09 - 11:04 PM
Amos 27 Aug 09 - 11:08 PM
Acme 28 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM
Janie 28 Aug 09 - 02:13 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 09 - 09:05 AM
MMario 28 Aug 09 - 09:21 AM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 09 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 09 - 10:40 AM
Amos 28 Aug 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 28 Aug 09 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 09 - 02:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 09 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 09 - 03:05 PM
MMario 28 Aug 09 - 03:10 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 09 - 03:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 09 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 09 - 04:56 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 09 - 05:16 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 09 - 11:18 PM

Why, no...here is San Diego we modernized to the grid system many years ago. Before that, sometime in the Truman administration, it was hand-delivered by an old Hispanic guy with a bristly mustache; he would bring it in glass containers, clinking in a wire-frame carrier. I suppose they were Leyden jars or something. But most folks here don't even remember that far back.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 09:22 AM

Well, that's because of the collapse of personal service in SoCal. You should move to the mountains or the swamps, where people still care about each other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:13 AM

We care enough about people not to make them carry electricity around in jars, don't we? Don't you know how risky that can be? You open the wrong end, and POW!!!--smoking holes in your hands.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM

Besides, I don't think I would know how to live in the mountains and swamps. I can't abide being more than fifteen minutes from a Home Depot, or ten from a sandy beach. I prefer being in walking distance to a nice market, as I am now, and with easy freeway access if I have to go any distance. Like this weekend, when I am going to Mudlark's to join her, my MIL, BBW and possibly even Barky, for a weekend celebration of BBW's birthday. HEr actual birthday is today and when she turned ont he kitchen lights at 5:00 this morning she discovered, lo!, gremlins had been reorganizing the kitched with banners, posters, flowers and a gift box with tangled ribbons flowing over it. This made her feel very birthday-ish indeed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:50 AM

Amos, I must reply to your question, which was: "Seriously, LH, don't you think it is disrespectful to steal other people's violent fantasies and then stick them onto your friends?"

Well...it would be disrespectful in some cases, I suppose, but not in this particular case due to the deep affection and mutual caring that we have built up over the years to the point where we now have what could be termed a "special" relationship, a relationship somewhat akin to that of Holmes and Watson, though not of course suffering from nearly so sharp a divide in intellectual powers and analytical grasp as was evident in theirs.

Whereas Watson was portrayed as the "everyman" and Holmes as the genius, in our case it is more like 2 brilliant beings of equally Einsteinian/Aristotelian dimensions shining out magnificently across a vast gulf of darkness like a pair of luminous stars set in the heavens to guide the less enlightened and aware who labour around us.

You have your incredible mastery of subtle prose and verse, not to mention wit. I have my matchless grasp of spiritual realities and psychological profiles. Together we blaze new trails in the enlightenment and liberation of the human soul.

And all that allows me to say to you things like:
























"Hey, you flippin' bolthole! HEY!!! Dog-breath! Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU! You lissenin'??? I got 3 words for you. Ya ready???

Get FLIPPED, loser!!!"






And you will know immediately what I really mean by it, and not take any offense, because we have that special understanding. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:51 AM

nuthin' like a good tangle un th'ribbons to get the b'day feelings flowing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:53 AM

MOM;

I think the rest of us should go out on the front porch for some lemonade and hermits....I think LH wants to be alone with Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 12:00 PM

Nay, nay, you swollen-cheeked hoser!! You cannot dodge your intellectual responsibilities so easily. Your long and windy dissertations on spiritual dynamics and exalted aloofness of Serene Enlightenment will not serve to excuse you from the burdens of your incivility in other quarters, sirrah. You have no justification for painting such pictures, using borrowed tortures, except to own up manfully to temporary insanity, for which, at least your peers can offer compassion and sympathy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 12:15 PM

How about just temporary tomfoolery instead? ;-)

I may seem mad to you, sir, but in the land of the mad a sane man is seen as a lunatic, don't forget.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 01:47 PM

Yes, LH, but that does not mean that everyone who seems mad is secretly sane. Metaphors only go so far.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 02:48 PM

That's true. I met a phor on the avenue once and asked her to come back to my place and view my collection of rare prints. We never got there, however, because she would only go so far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 03:03 PM

Is a metaphor that only goes half-way a semiphor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 03:23 PM

Amos, you need to get away.

Here is a good place. I climbed this a couple of times in my well-spent youth. Snow encrusted trees. A lovely cold mountain scene, so welcome on a 100o day in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 03:44 PM

THanks Still, but I think I'd rather sit on your front porch and drink shandies.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 03:59 PM

Amos needs to visit Idaho this fall, when the scarlet of the mountain maple pours down the hills like static lava streams and the golden aspens counterpoint the gray-green of the cedars. Just don't go anywhere near Boise, home of the broke-dick you-know-whats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 04:28 PM

I think a metaphor that only goes half way is a mediaphor. At the end of the campaign, a bitter Hillary was heard to say, "I just don't know anymore what's a mediaphor...". A metaphor that never even gets off the ground, such as Ms. Palin's "death panel" is called a noniniphor. This term is derived from the Latin for "Non-starter".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 04:58 PM

A Geek Did E-mail ME

A geek did e-mail me, me, it did astound me
He said he'd searched far, and on Facebook found me.
Python and XML, in his hand did shimmer
He makes web-pages sing, and softly glimmer.

He courted me a week and met for dinner.
He swore his love was true, for he was no sinner.
And both with drinks a few we did conspire
To my bower in real-time, to both retire.

I love to watch my love with his keyboard smoking
I love to hear the keys, the clear code making!
His IM's they are fair, and his tweets go flying!
My love is a cyberstud, there's no denying

My love's is coding now, an e-store building,
It's getting mighty hot, the MkDir filling!
Nothing can be more gay with the new page loading
And at night 'tis bright as day when on me he's coding!

Where is my love a-gone with his cell phone muted??
No SMS he sends, nor emails well-suited!
Too long before the screen, he becomes bedazzled!
I will go seek my love, that he be not frazzled!

Strange news from Google comes, strange news is carried!
Strange news on Facebook says my love is married
I wish him joy though cyber-love's no longer
For I love my old love still, my lost geek yonder

What did you promise me when you lay beside me?
You said we would be one, just like e-Harmony!
It's witness I've got none for our tweets are flown now,
But your karma will repay you, that I am alone now.

I stare at Facebook pages I would like to smash now,
To think I loved a geek whose core would crash so
I hope his code compiles, but he does not hear me;
I'll not DDOS his servers all, he need not fear me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:45 PM

Amos, I can't tell you what that song of false love did to me. I may never be the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:55 PM

Truly, sir, I pray you be not. For to be the same is to deny time, and resist change; and to resist change, sir, is to court eternal sorrow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 02:32 PM

Just keep, um, breathing, Mom, and you'll be fine. I know it is rough...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 03:58 PM

I think I dated her in college -- Aterna Louise Sorro.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 04:15 PM

I thought I'd share this with Mom; maybe give her a little chuckle:

Ad Was Posted to Craig's List Personals:
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before        last. Date: 07-27-09, 1:43 A M EST.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
>
> I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
>
> Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
>
> After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
>
> Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
>
> In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment   for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
>
> Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 04:18 PM

It's so nice when the boys play "good guys versus bad guys". Very creative!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 06:14 PM

Good lord.

The man who posted that is, on the one hand, someone with the courage to defend himself, plus a wicked sense of humor.

He is, on the other hand, someone who is deeply ignorant of the longterm effects of karma (either in this life or beyond it), and he's set a bunch of stuff in motion that will someday come back to haunt him....same as the guy who tried to rob him has done.

He took it way too far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 06:43 PM

I just knew Little Hawk would see the deeper pattern. I must be psychic.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 07:26 PM

What I'd say he should have done was take the guy's shoes, knife, and cell phone and leave it at that. Give the shoes to the homeless guy. Throw the knife and cell phone into the river. Be done with it.

That would be quite enough to get the message across.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 07:32 PM

Oh, now... revenge is a dish best served as far up the ass as possible. Sideways. And cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 07:43 PM

Revenge, karmically speaking, is one of the stupidest and most self-defeating things a person can possibly engage in.

It does make for entertaining movies, though! ;-) There's a whole industry out there for servicing people's exaggerated revenge fantasies, and it remains hugely popular. I enjoy such movies too, but I don't for a moment take seriously the notion that what they are presenting is a good idea in real life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 09:25 PM

I ask you, is that guy wise? Or what????!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 10:38 PM

I would have simply dropped his cell phone (turned on) into the back of a police car.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 10:42 PM

But then again, I can't afford a Kimber 1911 .45 pistol. If anyone wishes to present me with the money to purchase one (around US $900.00 would do nicely) I would reluctantly force myself to accept the gift. I'd even name the gun after the giver.

"Meet my leetle friend, Leetle Hawk."

"Say hello to my friend Stilly River Sage."

"Janie, come out here and say 'Howdy' to this fella."

"YES, goddamnit, my pistol IS named Amos."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 10:56 PM

Kimber 1911 .45s in all their rambunctious glory. ANd their proud manufacturer.

Sigh. Ain't this what we call civilization? Are we there yet?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 11:04 PM

Hi MOM,

Knee on ice again, and something in the vicinity of the ankle occasionally acting up from the weird walking. Yours truly probably appears quite bizarre to anyone idling watching me walk. Normal, normal, normal, limp, limp, limp, grimace, stumble, limp, limp, normal, normal, normal, almost normal, limp, almost normal, almost normal, almost normal, stumble, grimace, limp.

I think it is my body's way of being sure I am aware that it is, after all, the 40th high school reunion I'm driving to WV for on Saturday. Probably the the reason I've gained 30 lbs in the last 6 months, also. (More of me to love;^)

Almost Normal. Geeze, I kinda like that. Think I should change my Mudcat handle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 11:08 PM

I love the flippant resonance of it, but I hope you'll stay Janie. Some things are too good to change...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 12:41 AM

We had a big thunderstorm this evening and the dog dishes filled up completely with water. Nearly lost a toad in the wading pool overnight, but I pulled it out just in time and it started breath again. What an exciting place the yard is. . .

Janie, do you have any idea what set off your knee? Do you have arthritis? Do weather changes affect your knee? Just be careful that one of these knuckleheads doesn't blow your kneecap off with a handgun as they gesticulate while reciting poetry and waving their pistols. (It's a Freudian thing.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 02:13 AM

Gluon!    Bad dog!

You bring back that last post from cyberspace right now, ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 09:05 AM

True story:

I have to do two Performance Evaluations today. The two came to me and asked "Can we go out to the Range and do it? Sue didn't get to shoot Wednesday because she was at the doctor's and she'd like to try my [Kathy] new target pistol. One of use can shoot while the other is evaluated."

Well, okay.

A couple hours later Sue can in again with Kathy, both laughing. Seems Sue had called her husband to see how he was doing and had mentioned the PEs at the range. His response?

"JESUS! He's gonna do performance evaluations in a remote area on two broads who are packing loading guns??"

So...if you never hear from me again....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 09:21 AM

Does seem a bit foolhardy. Are you taking witnesses? Seconds?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 09:49 AM

Chongo would not be intimidated in the least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 10:40 AM

Trust, but wear body armor. That's me ole family motto (but in Celtoiberian).

Actually, it's one of several. Another is "Sine virtus, sine laus" -- or loosely, "No guts, no glory." Another is "Git away while they reload."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 11:31 AM

YEah, some guys never learn. Rapaire trued this before in the field in Korea, telling a sergeant what he thought of his performance. 'S why he walks funny even today.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 12:04 PM

Hey, Mom,

I am on the road, now, off to Mudlark's in the region of Paso Robles. Talk to you soon!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 02:32 PM

Ah, Amos -- I was a sergeant in Korea....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 02:37 PM

"The Region of Paso Robles"! What a great movie! And the sequel, "The Legion of Paso Robles" is even better!

But it's only better if you're not a first generation Asian-American. They can't tell the difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 03:05 PM

Paso Robles. In English, Oak Pass. Sooooooooo SoCal! "Piney Canyon" or "Cedar Gulch" or another American name isn't good enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 03:10 PM

I was watching Ice Dancing the other day and one couple did a fantastic Paso Robles. Their Wiennerese Vaults were even better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 03:13 PM

(sigh) I feel so inadequate in the face of all this clever banter. So unsophisticated. So unable to compete on the same level playing field. (sigh)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 04:44 PM

This is not a level playing field. It's a Tilt-a-Whirl. Sophistication means nothing. As long as you don't puke your guts out, you're doing okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 04:56 PM

And even if you do, who'd notice?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 09 - 05:16 PM

Amos would. He watches like a hawk for any such faux pas on my part... (grin)


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