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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 04 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 04:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 09 - 06:03 PM
Acme 04 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 09 - 09:45 PM
Amos 04 Sep 09 - 10:19 PM
Janie 04 Sep 09 - 10:36 PM
Janie 05 Sep 09 - 12:29 AM
Amos 05 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 06:40 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 09 - 09:52 AM
Acme 05 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 10:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Sep 09 - 02:24 PM
Amos 05 Sep 09 - 02:39 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM
Acme 05 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM
Amos 05 Sep 09 - 05:11 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 09 - 08:27 PM
Acme 06 Sep 09 - 12:31 AM
Amos 06 Sep 09 - 02:14 AM
GUEST,Janie 06 Sep 09 - 09:28 AM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM
Amos 06 Sep 09 - 11:45 AM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Sep 09 - 01:58 PM
Amos 06 Sep 09 - 02:05 PM
Acme 06 Sep 09 - 09:46 PM
Amos 07 Sep 09 - 01:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Sep 09 - 10:36 AM
Acme 07 Sep 09 - 11:34 AM
Amos 07 Sep 09 - 12:48 PM
Amos 07 Sep 09 - 02:08 PM
Amos 07 Sep 09 - 02:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Sep 09 - 04:53 PM
Little Hawk 07 Sep 09 - 05:28 PM
Amos 07 Sep 09 - 05:40 PM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 12:43 AM
Janie 08 Sep 09 - 01:04 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 09 - 09:26 AM
Acme 08 Sep 09 - 11:39 AM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 09 - 12:22 PM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 01:28 PM
Acme 08 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 09 - 06:21 PM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 07:31 PM
Amos 08 Sep 09 - 09:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Get in touch with Little Hawk, BL...he's quite accomplished at endowing synthetic personalities onto almost any old piece of stuff he comes across.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 04:50 PM

I just made a quesadilla and on it appeared the face of Amos! Holding a banjo!

I carefully fed it down the disposal. No one should be subject to that sort of thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 06:03 PM

I don't usually deal with food products like that, though. The very idea is cheesy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM

But sharp!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 09:45 PM

It happened again in my mashed potatoes at dinner.

I'm going to run off to Logan and see if that might break this chain of...occurrences.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:19 PM

Forget it, Big Guy. When your number is up, you are bound for the Getaway, willy or nilly...


Actually I am just practicing my hanting--sorry I interrupted your dinner!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:36 PM

that would be "hainting" I suppose.

Or in some parts, hain'ting.

Shall we collude on hainting the folkie folks at the Getaway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 12:29 AM

Burning up the fossil fuel this month, MOM, and doing my bit to aid global warming. Heading back up to WV very early in the a.m, this time with Sum Yung Sun in tow to visit his grandparents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 01:33 AM

Fun travels. Janie! See you in October!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 06:40 AM

Hi, Mom!

I wonder if anyone has ever had a banjo tattooed on his knee.

♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 09:52 AM

All those folks who headed West had a banjo on their knee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:46 AM

One day the cultures of tatoo artist and body piercer are going to merge, and people will be walking around with a counted cross stitch banjo on their knee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:50 AM

But they were only going from Alabamy to Louisiany. Sure, it's west, but it's only about 150 miles. Anybody can travel that far with a real banjo on his knee. But if you wanna go to Chile, it'd be easier to go with the tattoo.

♫♫
Oh, I come from Floribamy with a banjo on my knee
I'm goin' to see my honey, way down south in Chilee
♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:24 PM

Then again, that 150 mile figure is based on an east-to-west trajectory going from just east of the Alabama/Mississippi line near Meridian to just west of the Louisiana/Mississippi line at Vicksburg. It's the shortest possible distance from Alabama to Louisiana. But if the guy with a banjo on his knee lived in Sulphur Springs, Alabama (up near Chattanooga, TN) and his true love lived in Lake Charles, LA, it's more like 600 miles. That banjo would get mighty heavy by the end of that trip, especially if it wuz a Gibson RB or a Stelling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:39 PM

You hike from he international border through to demented tumult of a Mexican border city, breathing bus air and listening to the susuurrus of commerce, the complaints of children, offers of sales of every kind. You hike across dangerous intersecion with gracious senoria's and bull-necked cops mlling aroun dit,
Finally you get to a quit office in a back street with a from waiting room where a nice MExican girl comes out and gives you a sedative.

After that everyhing gets mellower depite inoculations of novocaine and frinding and other strange noises.

I am home with the new implant joint firmly screwed in.

More when coherent.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 02:57 PM

Incoherency is quite common in people returning from a visit to Chinga's house of ill repute...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM

Were you doped up when you walked back through that lovely mass of humanity?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 05:11 PM

Boy, that was a post better off deferred!

Yeah it was a heavy sedative, so walking back I had a huge ice-pack on my jaw and this look of "only half human". Fortunately BBW was along for the trip this time, and steered me back home, where I slept it all off. Now, it just twinges.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 08:27 PM

What is this business about an implant joint? Sounds complicated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 12:31 AM

New teeth, screwed into his jaw one at a time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 02:14 AM

So far it is only the retaining socket, implanted into the bone of the upper jaw.. Stitiches come out in two weeks. A few months later, the post and crown can be established.


I have recovered my sense of sobriety after napping most of the afternoon away. Those little blue pills are powerful stuff, man.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Janie
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 09:28 AM

Gorgeous drive up to through the mountains yesterday, MOM. Blue, blue sky and puffy white clouds, Goldenrod, bidens, New York Ironweed and Joe-Pye weed, along with the brilliant scarlet of the early-turning leaves of smooth and poison sumac, and the slightly duller clusters of staghorn sumac berries decorated the fields and roadside all along the way.    At the tops of the ridges, a few trees just beginning to show a hint of fading into yellow and orange.

Then went to the Farmer's Market with Mom. It was just as colorful with the tables piled high with late summer and early fall produce, pumpkins and winter squash in every color, and big pots of mums and asters. Ran across bell peppers the deep purple color of eggplant, which I had never seen.

Life is good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 11:41 AM

That sounds like a right nasty business to go through, Amos. Is it due to the aftereffects of gum disease and bone depletion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 11:45 AM

No, it is just the replacement of a rotten tooth. The place was held for years by a simple crown but it gave way. Once you are through the hassle of getting the socket put in it is smooth sailing and you have a bullet-proof tooth permanently in place, immune to decay and looking beautiful. Mind you, looking beautiful means a lot less these days, and is much more flexibly defined than it was when I was a youth!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 11:55 AM

Yeah, I know what you mean. Anyway, it gets harder and harder to look beautiful as the years slip rapidly by... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 01:58 PM

That's one big advantage to being born uglier than a baboon's ass. It's easy to stay ugly as the years slip by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 02:05 PM

Dang, some people get all the breaks. I was doomed from birth --being in all respects a perfect baby--to a lifetime of gradually getting more and more imperfect, while those born ugly get to reap the advantage of looking more and more normal as they grow older. Why, it just ain't fair!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 09:46 PM

Hey, MOM, I'm treating myself to a movie this evening. I've never been to a "movie tavern." I wonder if I can just sit and watch the movie without having to order food? This place had a better start time than the theater that's a little closer.

Julie and Julia, here I come. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:20 AM

Awright! We had a party at the software genius' place up in the Valley, and in the middle of it we gathered around and listened to a podcast of Bill Moyers going deep with the guy who wrote "The Evolution of God"--very fine conversation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 10:36 AM

Happy Labor Day, Mom!

Of course, we don't need some made up holiday to celebrate 'cause...

♫♫
Every day's a holiday with MOAB!
Mom she makes you feel so grand!
It's like having your balls pinched by a land crab,
And filling up your underwear with sand!
♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 11:34 AM

Words not needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 12:48 PM

What excellent contributions!! That "Probably Bad News" site is a real grin. BWL shows consistent evil genius and flair in his compositions, and also plays well with others.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 02:08 PM

I mean, who else would rhyme "MOAB" with "...balls pinched by a land crab"??? Huh? Nobody, that's who!! I swan.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 02:22 PM

Mom:

My mind is full of Getaway thoughts. I have a file of songs that might be wanted. I am doing a workshop of Parodies this year. It will be jolly fun. You come, too!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 04:53 PM

GREAT UNANSWERED QUESTIONS OF OUR TIME!

Did Mary Poppins and Bert the chimneysweep ever make the beast with two backs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 05:28 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 05:40 PM

Well, something sent young Mary flying over the roofytops, dinnit?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 12:43 AM

Don't all answer at once. Let me know when your Getaway plans are made!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 01:04 AM

We gotta get these Moab-ites out of their mundane routines and to Getaway somehow or other, bro' Amos.

MOM yearns for a family reunion on the shores of West River!

Shane best plan on swimming out to an obliging dory, though, for accomodations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 09:26 AM

Hi, Mom. I'm back. Got back to find my pooter was FRIED!! FRIED!!! by some broke-dick you-know-what driving a dump truck with the bed up until he took out four powerlines and a couple of poles. I lost EVERYTHING!!, even the OS. The power was out for six hours, during which time we were driving back from Logan, UT.

'Twould be best for the chap if I never find out who s/he is. Fortunately, it did not affect Pat's computer, upon which I am posting this.

I shall refrain from discussing the ancestry, habits, intelligence and hygiene of this unwanted, scrofulous, pus-licking, piece of filth who is obviously descended from a line of lizard-screwing, anacephalic, banjo and nose pickers. To do so would be impolite and unforgiving, and I am well known having good bringing up (unlike the driver of the dump truck).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 11:39 AM

Was the damage done when the power came back on? Can you take the drives out and put them in a new computer in slave positions? Drive boxes are inexpensive these days. You'll have to "give yourself permission" to get to all of your data, though.

I guess it's time to do a backup. I take these kinds of events as a reminder to myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 11:57 AM

I recommend the slave positions option. I find it, um, enticing...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 12:22 PM

I just ordered a new, custom-built job. It will have the disk partitioned so I can run Linux as well as Microslop. At least it will come with Windoze XP and not Vista ("Fish and Vista Stink After Three Days"). The monitor, keyboard, and trackball are good, and I've backed up 'most everything on a 1TB external hard drive. It's the "'most" that's bothersome, as well as the money I have to shell out.

2.8 GHz, dual core, 250GB HDD, 6 USB ports, all that good stuff.

The scumsucking, sluglicking, doofoid had better remember to lower things before h/she tries to drive under a REAL high tension line -- 880,000 volts, for instance, like the crane drive I had to investigate (after the incident) in Korea. Me: "Hi. What happened?" Stick of carbon: "   ." Me: "I see your tires are melted and the cable is welded to the drum. Would you like to comment on your destruction of government property?" Stick of carbon: "   ."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 01:28 PM

In our neighborhood in forward-thinking, enlightened San Diego, they are gradually taking out all the overhead lines neighborhood by neighborhood and putting the lines into carefully built trenches, thus aboiding such liabilities as dump--truck dumkopfs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM

Our electric lines run across the back of the yard and provide an above-the-dogs route for squirrels and possums. Two for one design!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

Our lines ARE buried. This was done on a major street about 1/2 mile from us.

Driver's too damn dumb to have more than one cell....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 04:35 PM

I detect you feel irascible, irritaBLE, ANNOYED, HARASSED, bothered, aggravated, and disgruntled by this experience. Tell us how you really feel.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 06:21 PM

You sure you REALLY want me to do that? Even an old sailor or hard-rock miner would blush if I did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 07:31 PM

Oh, I am sure you are SUCH a big, hardened, wicked-souled hard-ass baddie, Mister Librarian, that thou wouldst make any of us blush. I doubt you could make Stilly blush.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 09 - 09:06 PM

Us'ns have been roundly pegged by the UK Humour Press:

"Jamie Connor, a graphic designer from Stoke Newington, died yesterday after a planned mountain bike trip to the recycling centre before heading for a Fairtrade organic Latte at the local co-operative coffee shop while listening to George Monbiot podcasts on his iPhone saw him suddenly explode with smugness.

Upon hearing that Connor's family were to plant trees to ensure his explosion was carbon neutral, Jeffrey Clarke, a neighbouring Daily Mail reading Top Gear fan who was out washing his third car while listening to Jeremy Vine on Radio 2, spontaneously combusted with pompous indignation."


A


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