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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 09 Dec 09 - 03:31 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 09 - 09:01 AM
Amos 09 Dec 09 - 12:26 PM
Amos 09 Dec 09 - 04:34 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 09 - 04:40 PM
Amos 09 Dec 09 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 09 - 04:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 09 - 06:22 PM
Amos 09 Dec 09 - 06:42 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 06:45 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 06:50 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 07:17 PM
Amos 09 Dec 09 - 07:22 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 07:31 PM
Ed T 09 Dec 09 - 07:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 09 - 07:53 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 03:24 AM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 06:11 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 09 - 08:46 AM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 10:06 AM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 10:24 AM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 11:05 AM
Acme 10 Dec 09 - 11:23 AM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 11:31 AM
Rapparee 10 Dec 09 - 11:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 09 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 01:24 PM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 01:41 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 01:59 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 02:12 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 02:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 09 - 02:59 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 03:12 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 03:18 PM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 04:44 PM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 04:48 PM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 09 - 05:11 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 05:26 PM
Ed T 10 Dec 09 - 05:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 09 - 05:41 PM
Acme 10 Dec 09 - 06:03 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 09 - 06:26 PM
Amos 10 Dec 09 - 06:28 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 09 - 06:43 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 03:31 AM

Sanctimony --especially fraudulent sanctimony--ill becomes you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 09:01 AM

I want some of that "human dram" Amos was on about a while back. I deserve a dram or six.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 12:26 PM

Lo, how the BS loud does rage,
Among the sleepy threads,
And draws the readers of the page
To shake their sleepy heads
How turley roond the tome doth grow,
How glissone goes its measure,
As on and up she boldly goes,
Where no man knows the pressure.
How stringly fired is her ween!
How glimly doon, her tripple!
Beneath the glumringed stars between,
A dampling, struttering stipple!
No lass in herbs can make her less
Nor lissome manny slattern,
For she has all our strove behest
And heaven's gandering pattern.
So come forth Une, Deus, Tray
And plaster thrice the wooly slab
For thou hast cantilevered Day
On the brow of proud MOAB!

g.g. thumbrings
Doonwich Porridge, New Yak, 1934


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:34 PM

Once a new yak, always a new yak, I always say. Mom, did you get depressed reading that long, long maritime ballad? It's not as long as "The Ancient Mariner", you know!! It could be much verse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:40 PM

I disagree. It couldn't be any verse! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:42 PM

Ach, LH, you never did have any taste. Stick to your monkeys and slum-bums, eh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:57 PM

Surely you jest. My good taste is legendary, and that is why I know people like Penelope Rutledge and William Shatner. Are you aware that I have been awarded a T-GORF?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM

Well, I congratulate Amos on his epic saga. He has managed to masterfully borrow virtually every hackneyed cliche known to the entire body of seafaring verse, and yet avoided stooping to actual plagiarism. Bravo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:22 PM

One does not "stoop" to plagarism. One rises up to it, at the same time raising the value and status of that which was plagarised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:42 PM

This perspective is only true, sir, when one is either built upside down or has one's head in an uncomfortable dark location.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:45 PM

He posts like a sea desiring poet....but, what actually is a mos, the magic poster, who contrived by the sea?

Could he represent the common man on the street or represent a long channel ? Could he signify Latin customs or a curious gaseous envelope of air (as in at mos phere)?

I think me not, Mister Man..

Could the seret lie here in web land?

http://www.acronymfinder.com/MOS.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:50 PM

Pssst....don't tell A mos...But, a seret is a person who is imaging in his mind different scenarios- bad or good. (urban dictionary....I know the wordsome number snatcher never goes there....(oh, ho, ho and a bottle of rum).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM

A musical interlude, after the rapid 33 posting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=393AHRf0-J4


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:17 PM

Oh well another interlude, close by:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6AlCTRrwlM&NR=1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:22 PM

A MOS in this context stands for Master of Style although occasionally it stands for Maker of Songs or MOAB's Oldest Son depending on who you listen to. It has NOTHING to do with metallic oxide semiconductors.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:31 PM

I have to admit, I feel a bit guilty that other good posts have so few posts....while this one has so many....it seems so unChristian....I would have expected folks to flock to the womenand lotions thread. One never can predict what turns Mudcats elder cranks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:33 PM

I always tend to mix up my threads with my posts....guess its why I ended up with a stake in my underwear:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM

"Amos" (sometimes written as "ah'mos") is an approximate phonetic representation of how the English word "almost" is pronounced in Floribama.

Example: I wuz ah'mos heffway 'tween Munson an' Baker when I hit a deer an' it fuktup mah ret front tar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:53 PM

That Mingulay Boat Song is a beauty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:24 AM

Yes. But it's not epic.   Like some works.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:11 AM

Maybe not a "chanson de geste" but those are already taken.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 08:46 AM

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,


Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares - get on it right away."

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

Harvey W. Pringlegast
Attorney at Law
Wal-Mart


I think there's some really good ideas in here....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 10:06 AM

I reviewed this again....is that Shane in the background?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHc3pKsUIas


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 10:24 AM

Ed:

It is bizarre enough to fit into LH's repertory of overheated imaginings. Why are you even looking at it? Is there something you need to be telling us, now?

Rapaire's list has inspired me so I am going to take a day off work and try each of these techniques.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:05 AM

It gives a great frisson, Ed, to see you use so rare an expression as "chanson de geste" in a MOAB thread. I have always maintained you added class to this joint, and Gawd knows after the moral terpitude being condoned by LH and Raspaire around here, we can use it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:23 AM

Class? Is that a requirement here? Why didn't you say so?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:31 AM

No, not at all. As with all things MOAB (including applause for chansons de geste) it is merely an option. The trick is in who chooses which options.

SOmetimes we make the wrong choices. I for example, have repeatedly chosen to lampoon the various eccentricities of Rapaire and Little Hawk in these pages. This, I think, was morally an error. I need to learn the True Power Of Forgiving Everything.





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:34 AM

The noble and forgiving Rapaire has forgiven you. Noblesse oblige, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 12:58 PM

Every now and then, we need a reminder that this is The Mother of All BS Threads, not just The Mother of All Threads.

The last few posts have provided such a reminder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:24 PM

Ah! It is good to see Amos showing a little humility and self-criticism. This means we will not have to give him a good slapping at the next sissy boy slap party. Ed, that was probably the most bizarre short film I have seen yet. In fact, I may now be able to say that "I've seen everything".

I didn't see Shane anywhere among the participants. He would be horrified and disgusted by that film. He has a deep hatred for that sort of sissy boy stuff. He calls such people "winky-twisters" and/or "corkpullers".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:41 PM

British comedy anyone?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdSaWW9vuow


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:59 PM

LOL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:12 PM

BWL:

Hey, hold on!! Just because I have had one two too many irony tablets, doesn't mean it ain't BS!! Besides, it got LH to reveal his condescending snarky side. How cool is that??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:29 PM

I positively lust for these little opportunities to condescend, Amos. I experience a frisson of delight when they come along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:59 PM

I think you misinterpeted my post, Amos. Your posts certainly were BS oh the highest degree and, ergo, a reminder that BS is our goal, our aim, our raison d'etre. Carry on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM

Ah, Little Hawk, if only they were not yet another imaginary perspective, but instead were actually merited, how much better a world this would be.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:12 PM

You trample upon my pansies, sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:18 PM

I admit it. I am a pansy-stomper from way back.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 04:44 PM

Confession:
I've used a body shampoo once and It felt good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 04:48 PM

I admit, I thought a bit before making the confession. Would it shock the MAOB macho community? Will it forever be mistaken as a giant leap toward confused mankind?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 04:52 PM

After I got out of the shower, my skin felt so soft and smooth that I had to resist the temptation to flirt with myself. But, resist it I did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 05:11 PM

Hi, Mom! Your favorite is back!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 05:26 PM

I don't believe you did resist it, Ed. You are an outrageous auto-flirt. But it's a harmless hobby compared to the rampant narcissism exhibited by some of our rampant members...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 05:26 PM

How to tell if your not Mom's favourite:
http://www.bp-photo.co.cc/2009/10/how-to-tell-youre-not-moms-favourite.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 05:41 PM

I use body shampoo while camping, but I don't use it at home. A bottle of liquid is easier to take back and forth to the bath house at a festival than a wet bar of regular soap. It doesn't seem to have any auto-erotic effect, but it's the the cheapest brand out there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:03 PM

Would it be auto-erotic if it smelled like one of those pine tree shaped air fresheners?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:22 PM

Rampant narcissism indeed! I suppose, Amos, that you are not about to own up to the full length mirror you have mounted on your own bedroom ceiling so you can admire your oiled supine body in it, and the pet Mynah bird whom you have taught to repeat "Amos is a genius!" over and over again while you compose MOABS verses at the computer... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:26 PM

I understand that Amos kayaks so even the seals can admire a sleek, well-muscled, body. He picks up a lady seal, you see...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:28 PM

Actually, only the part about kayaking is true, although of late the weather's been too rough for so light a craft. I have often sought, but never found, the seal of Approval I used to hear about watching TV as a child. I suppose he lives on the East Coast somewhere.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:43 PM

The Seal of Approval is only to be found in Canadian waters, eh? ;-)


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