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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Mar 10 - 05:18 PM
Eiseley 06 Mar 10 - 05:29 PM
Amos 06 Mar 10 - 09:32 PM
Janie 06 Mar 10 - 11:25 PM
Acme 07 Mar 10 - 01:20 AM
Amos 07 Mar 10 - 02:55 AM
Rapparee 07 Mar 10 - 08:38 AM
Eiseley 07 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM
Janie 07 Mar 10 - 09:51 AM
Amos 07 Mar 10 - 12:24 PM
Acme 07 Mar 10 - 12:33 PM
Amos 07 Mar 10 - 01:18 PM
Acme 07 Mar 10 - 04:16 PM
Amos 07 Mar 10 - 04:17 PM
Amos 07 Mar 10 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 10 - 05:31 PM
Bill D 07 Mar 10 - 05:42 PM
Eiseley 07 Mar 10 - 06:18 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 10 - 07:24 PM
Eiseley 07 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 10 - 10:41 PM
Janie 07 Mar 10 - 11:09 PM
Amos 08 Mar 10 - 12:31 AM
Acme 08 Mar 10 - 02:23 AM
Eiseley 08 Mar 10 - 09:02 AM
Janie 08 Mar 10 - 09:15 AM
Amos 08 Mar 10 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 10 - 11:04 AM
MMario 08 Mar 10 - 11:14 AM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 10 - 11:42 AM
MMario 08 Mar 10 - 12:04 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 10 - 12:27 PM
Amos 08 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM
Acme 08 Mar 10 - 01:58 PM
Eiseley 08 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM
Amos 08 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 10 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 10 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 10 - 10:52 PM
Amos 08 Mar 10 - 11:21 PM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM
Amos 09 Mar 10 - 08:35 AM
Amos 09 Mar 10 - 09:26 AM
Amos 09 Mar 10 - 10:22 AM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 10 - 10:59 AM
Eiseley 09 Mar 10 - 10:59 AM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM
Amos 09 Mar 10 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 10 - 11:36 AM
Amos 09 Mar 10 - 11:38 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 05:18 PM

Most scintillating distinction, there, Miss Sage. :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 05:29 PM

Just in case you wondered:

http://www.morphthing.com/image/22421273-Winona-Ryder-jpg-Captain-Kirk-jpg?key=9929689f600100e895cbf1d1e2be2508


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 09:32 PM

This brings the defacement of ugliness to a new height, thanks to modern technology...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 11:25 PM

If one defaces ugly, is the result beauty?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 01:20 AM

Oh, my! We have an early recruit! The fellow has only five total posts at Mudcat, and the fifth is here in MOAB. There is potential!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 02:55 AM

In an ideal world. marring the ugly would make it more beautiful. But w elive in a contrary sorta world where marring ugliness just makes it confusing...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 08:38 AM

Everything is beooooootiful
In its own way....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM

Thank you kindly for that welcome. I believe the picture posted in my link is a face only the "MOAB" could love. As a shy newcomer I decided the best thing I could do would be to read the very longest thread. So doing, I finally felt like I could post without, well, too much fear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 09:51 AM

You really read the whole daggum thread? do we have a masochist in our midst? *grin*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 12:24 PM

Welcome, sir or madam as the case may be.

I think you may have staked a claim unmatched in the annals of the Mudcat, of having read the whole of MOAB, if you really did that!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 12:33 PM

Well, Amos, not completely alone. After all, WE'VE read it, just piecemeal.

My youngest whippersnapper turns 18 today, so I am going to be cooking up a storm. I'll bring over any leftovers later. Are you lot watching the Oscars, just to see if Winona or Shatner are presenting?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 01:18 PM

We've read every part of it, true. But it ain't the same as coming in in the middle of some thirty-odd thousand remarks and reading them through. This takes a strange, not to say DIvine, kind of inspiration or madness, or both.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 04:16 PM

So how long is Rap out of town? A week? Do you suppose the by-product crack means he won't try to find WiFi along the way to report back via his netbook?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 04:17 PM

It is perhaps a GReat Woe that we can intensely inject beauty, refined thought and vast depths of cleverness into our work, and then have them stall completely at the Customs Barrier on the bridge into Shared Reality, n'est-ce pas?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 04:52 PM

Ludwig von Mises: What characterizes capitalism is not the bad taste of the crowds, but the fact that these crowds, made prosperous by capitalism, became consumers of literature of course, of trashy literature. The book market is flooded by a downpour of trivial fiction for the semibarbarians. But this does not prevent great authors from creating imperishable works.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 05:31 PM

As long as I am around the world, indeed the entire Universe, shall never lack for beauty and good taste.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 05:42 PM

This thread is an abject failure!!

I quote from the original post:

"... Henceforth, post all BS here in this thread. Soon there will be only one BS thread. We won't have to look for particular threads as this will be the only one and it will contain all the BS we have to offer.

My Gawd!! Why has this not been thought of earlier? It is so obvious!

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself!

Once again, for those of you who are slow in understanding...hear me, Tweed! Post all BS in this thread from now on!"

Still...34,000+ does help...... I guess......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 06:18 PM

34,000+, Yes. I think I've read it all. Talk about a novel without a plot, or does this have thousands of subplots!? Oh well, at least I won't be shot by Mark Twain. I think I may have missed some in the 400s or 500s. My life was a bit crazy back in November. Oh, I guess it is still a bit crazy. But whose isn't?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 07:24 PM

MY life is now, and always has been, logical and well-lived, maintained by the fact that I created everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM

Delusions of grandeur has he,
The ineffable Rapaire.
He thinks he has made
All this up in his 'haid'
But ex nihilo it came to be.

"Oh Sword-wielder, you didn't create us
We extruded right out of the chaos
Within the Mudcatters
(They're all mad as hatters),"
Cries the Mother of all that is BS.

You may have made earth, flesh, and bone,
Or created all things made of stone,
But there is one game
That you just cannot claim
For this Thread has a life of its own!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 10:41 PM

There were two old maids of Birmingham
And this is the story concernin' 'em:
*** **** ****** *** *****
*** ******** *** ****
Of the Bishop as he was confirmin' 'em.

The Rector of Dunstin St. Just,
Consumed with canonical lust
Raped the Bishop's prize fowls
His precious young owls,
And a little green lizard, what bust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 11:09 PM

Have to ask, for the fit just seems too seamless for a complete newbie.   Of course, it could be you were previously an inhabitant of our twin world, located in the galaxy FUBAR in one of the universes immediately parallel to this one, and which we have reason to believe was recently visited by Gluon. Perhaps you got tangled in his broken leash as he dashed madly for home and MOAB and was dragged here willy-nilly through the recent wormhole that exited up through the privy behind the Legion Hovel? Though at first disoriented, you perhaps soon experienced a sense of deja vu? If that is the case, hope you like it here, for alas, the wormhole is no longer connected. One of the Legionnaire's had a particularly bad case of gas - so bad, in fact, that he could not leave the privy for several weeks. I'm afraid the damage in Haiti, Chili and off the coast of Sumatra were some of the minor repercussions. One major effect is the exit to that wormhole, while still in this universe, was blasted several galaxies away.


So, here's the question: Eiseley - are you new to Mudcat, or is it that you have a new Mudcat moniker?

Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 12:31 AM

A poster who posted quite wisely
Sent posts in the name of young Eisely
Said the MOABITES, "Who
Have we got--someone new?"
"Or a circumspect retro-reprisely?"


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 02:23 AM

The poem uses words that Walksabout Verse doesn't know, so I doubt he has a doppelganger. In the FWIW category of guesses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 09:02 AM

If I wrote this in verse,
It would be much worse,
So I won't even try
So just prose you'll descry
In the rest of this post.

I am a 43-year-old graduate student, a single mother, a full-time worker, a reader, a walker, and more. I sometimes wear all those hats at the same time. I live out west. Last fall, when I was in my first semester of graduate school, I was taking an online storytelling class. One of the internet links for the class led me to the Mudcat Café. I had seen the café once before, or at least heard tales about it from a friend, but decided that the link I found in the class was a bit of an invitation, so I set up a moniker and began to dabble. Shortly thereafter, (on September 14, 2009) and tragically, the man I was dating died of a heart attack. Distracted by grief, I decided to distract myself by reading the riveting and sometimes usually always irreverently engaging posts I found in the café. Then I stumbled across the MOAB. Now, I'm not really very comfortable posting comments to strangers in anonymity, but I was fascinated (and sometimes horrified) by the cadre of folks who posted to the Mother of All BS Threads. So, not wanting to miss anything, I began reading from the beginning. I can't tell you how many times my computer would freeze up until I learned to "trace" the messages! I read off and on, sometimes avidly, sometimes skimming, until finally last week I reached the most recent posts. I still can't believe you folks have been BS-ing for all this time! But now you feel like old friends to me. When I found the "how to morph photos" website, I screwed up my courage and decided to subtly say hallo.

So, for the past six months you've all helped me unwittingly through a difficult time. Thank you! And if it's all right with y'all, I'll pop in every now and then. I'd love to have a forum for some of the twiddle that bounces around in my head!

My only concern is that the friend who showed me Mudcat years ago may feel that my intrusion is an invasion of privacy. Hmmm, I'll have to give that particular situation some thought. In the meantime, Howdy!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 09:15 AM

I'd say you are right good addition, m'dear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 10:03 AM

Well, three cheers for your determination, and the amazing fact that you have any balance left at all!!

Come by often, now, y'hear? :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:04 AM

Y'all come by now, ya hear? (Had dinner with Art Brooks last night.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:14 AM

Ocwe 50% of one's posts to MOAB I am *SURE* is a record!

What shall we give as a prize?

Perhaps one of Gluon's puplings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:42 AM

Eisely, it's what happens when any group of talkative people with time on their hands get together. This sort of thing used to happen in coffee shops and local bistros. (sigh) Those days are fading fast. It now happens on the Internet. The internet is a little different, because no one can see that you're only half-dresssed and your hair is a mess when you're on the Internet! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 12:04 PM

LH - haven't you heard about the remote control of webcams that is causing a bunch of lawsuits?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 12:27 PM

I don't think so. Could you elaborate on that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM

What does the word "Ocwe" mean, oh, Manne of Emmes?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 01:58 PM

Eisely,

Reading the MOAB without remarking until now shows incredible fortitude; the urge to comment must have been strong at times. And I wonder how many monitors and keyboards you replaced after rapid drink expulsions during the time? I have to say, some of the funniest bits of nonsense have turned up in here (a couple of all time favorites came from BWL and the rare visits by John Hardly). Bruce's story about the neighbors dogs being rounded up in his yard just sends me off into gales of laughter every time I read it (I did a cut and paste and I think I've saved it to a couple of other threads around here).

I admit to having a quiver-full of guest appearances around the MOAB; LH isn't the only one. Some of us just don't have such a reputation so can get away with brief appearances. Who knows how many have channeled the freds and gluon? Lots of the time I read along and add remarks just to keep it near the top of the page or so I can tell where I left off reading.

Having just finished your survey, did you see any unique or recurring characters that you'd like to know more about, or have turn up again? Remind us who they were and perhaps the creator will come forward or arrange an encore.

As far as participating at Mudcat, there are storytellers and non-musical folks interested in music who are members. There are some who never set foot in the musical portion of the site, though reading through up there is how you can really take the measure of the place. The brainpower in the music section is phenomenal and I've enjoyed some incredible conversations and research discussions up there.

Now, before someone comes along and loudly protests that this isn't BS, I'll stop. But hope to see you in a few other threads.

MOM baked some of her blueberry muffins and put on a pot of coffee, so stop by in the kitchen and help yourself. Just watch out for that jar of milky stuff in the fridge. If you want cream, you're better off with the powdered creamer on the table--I think the jar has something cut up for fishing bait. It belongs to one of the boys. The fridge hasn't smelled right for a week. (You absolutely don't want to look in the freezer. All of us have put road kill in there, and I don't think any of us have skinned them out like we planned. Sorry about that.)

Do you know any html tricks? They come in handy here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM

Wow! What a wonderful welcome---words streaming across the bottom and everything. I do find myself thinking of all the other meanings every word has---knowing that you will all pick up on any hidden or intended or unintended puns.

Darn, I should have kept notes! I must admit that some of the funniest posts were ones I read in the wee hours of the morning, or sometimes at work when I couldn't do more than go in the back room and quiver with laughter.

It'll all come out, though, the memories of posts I wished I could comment on, but realized the time for the comment was years in the past . . .

As for roadkill, there are a few too many squirrels here that have recently met their maker. Too bad there's so little meat on their bones at this time of year. There's nothing like a delicious squirrel lasagna, but it's better to wait until August or September.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM

Well, anyone who can rhyme "Rapaire" with anything at all while disinfecting his noxious nihilistic narcissism has got to be all right in my book. We hope despite the demands of Motherhood, Pi-hood, and Walker-hood that you stay in the Neighborhood, as we need all the pals we can muster to the barricades when the Manne of Booques start redesigning the Universe as a bad-hair day in the library...

Remember this!! Projection is nine points of the law!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 10:49 PM

Hey, Mom! I'm in Taos! Gonna go visit Georgia O'Keefe tomorrow -- she asked me to drop around for lunch "or something." Haven't seen her in a month of Sundays or more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 10:51 PM

Ah, Mom. The days when they cared are long gone! But I remember, and so I shall


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 10:52 PM

grab the palindrome.

Eisley, iffen you're ever in Pocatello, Idaho look me up. I'll probably be at the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:21 PM

That's real friendly, Rapaire. Real nice.

Plan B, if you are ever in Pocatello, Idaho, is to book the next flight to San Diego, California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM

Plan C is: move to Mimico and get a Dachshund. (Nothing ever happens in Mimico, so you'll be safe there...and you and your Dachshund will grow fat and happy together.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 08:35 AM

Mimico is actually a small unprofitable vacuum-molding plastics company out on RFD17 about eleven miles outside of Spawspot PA. It is a one-story shabby-looking industrial building set among unmowed weeds, with several cars and a bass trawler boat permanently parked in the rear parking lot. Mimico was founded in 1975 by Roger Mim and his wife Mimi of Spawspot. They still make a somewhat bumpy living turning out the upper halves of various beach balls and other inflatables.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 09:26 AM

Hvis jeg havde vinger af en skildpadde-due
Jeg ville flyve op ad den lange næse af en bibliotekar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 10:22 AM

Suas le Dréimire fada agus síos gairid téad

Seo a King Billy, agus chun thell leis an Pápa.

Agus más rud é nach mbeidh sé amhlaidh, beidh orainn a ghearradh air i dhá

Agus air a sheoladh chuig ifreann lena dearg, bán agus gorm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 10:59 AM

WTF???? ;-) That is some other Mimico, Amos. The Mimico that I speak of is a featureless suburb west of Toronto. It's famous for being absolutely typical in every way possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 10:59 AM

Wat weet jij nu von een bosbrandt op see?
Je ben neet eens op een meer gezwommen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM

We can take that sort of thing in our stride, Eiseley. Most of us have already mastered disciplines such as reciting the multiplication tables backwards in order to retain our sanity during the water torture procedure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 11:14 AM

Eisely:

This is a tradition into which we have been instructed by the fearless Rapaire, Master of all Things Cloudy and Pretentious: if you have nothing to say of much merit, just run it through Google translations and say it anyway. It will make you look very knowledgeable and no-one bothers to translate it back.

For the benefit of Anglophiles and Hsitory my two posts read:

"Up a long ladder and down a short rope
Here's to King Billy, to hell wit' the Pope.
An' if that won't do, we'll cut him in two,
And send him to hell with yer red white and blue."

...which I believe is an Irish Protestant prayer of some kind.

THe other one was a simple sentiment:

"If I had the wings of a turtle-dove,
I would fly up the long nose of a librarian."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 11:36 AM

Nicely put, Amos, but your translation is wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 11:38 AM

LOL!! OK, Little Hawk, have it your way. Roger and Mimi actually made their living translating Washing Instruction labels into English for the Korean garment industry until they retired to live out of a small Winnebago and drive around the country together in 1992. They put a small punt on the roof of their WInnebago so he could go fishing at various ponds around the country and two lightweight bicycles on the rear, strapped to the spare. They were very happy, but Roger (who always enjoyed a lot of cholesterol) keeled over trying to find his way through the Beltway one summer as they were crossing DC on their way to Mimi's annual Cross-Stitching convention in east Annapolis. The heart attack was fatal, but the Winnebago survived because they had just pulled over to the shoulder in the middle of rush hour to unfold their map of Greater DC. Sobered and grieved, but courageous, Mimi soldiered on and to this day is a regular feature at Cross-Stitch conventions all across this great land of ours, as well as a regular attendee at Amway team rallies.
There never was a plastics vacuum-molding company in their lives. Mimico was their pet name for a ragged and surly calico cat who was put to sleep at the age of thirteen years and the weight of twenty-seven pounds just before they sold the house in White Plains to start their odyssey.



Ya like that better?


A


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