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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Mar 10 - 10:57 AM
Amos 12 Mar 10 - 11:19 AM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 10 - 12:57 PM
Acme 12 Mar 10 - 01:07 PM
Amos 12 Mar 10 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 10 - 03:48 PM
Acme 12 Mar 10 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 10 - 07:09 PM
Amos 12 Mar 10 - 07:48 PM
Eiseley 12 Mar 10 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 10 - 11:11 PM
Amos 13 Mar 10 - 12:50 AM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 10 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 10 - 10:37 AM
Amos 13 Mar 10 - 02:01 PM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 10 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 13 Mar 10 - 02:45 PM
Eiseley 13 Mar 10 - 04:02 PM
Amos 13 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM
Amos 13 Mar 10 - 10:49 PM
Acme 13 Mar 10 - 11:01 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 13 Mar 10 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM
Acme 13 Mar 10 - 11:33 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 14 Mar 10 - 01:05 AM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 10:49 AM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 10 - 11:16 AM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 12:04 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 10 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 10 - 01:07 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 10 - 01:48 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 10 - 02:24 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 10 - 04:01 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 04:53 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 05:48 PM
Little Hawk 14 Mar 10 - 06:06 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 07:27 PM
Acme 14 Mar 10 - 08:38 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 10 - 09:39 PM
Amos 14 Mar 10 - 10:25 PM
Acme 14 Mar 10 - 10:45 PM
Eiseley 15 Mar 10 - 01:37 AM
Acme 15 Mar 10 - 09:49 AM
Amos 15 Mar 10 - 10:28 AM
Amos 15 Mar 10 - 03:05 PM
Eiseley 15 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM
Amos 15 Mar 10 - 08:51 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 10:57 AM

Rise again,
RIse Again,
Let the Mother of all BS rise again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 11:19 AM

That is something only you can do, for you must make amends for the errors you create in the Universe I have created. If you do not, your soul will become warped...

Isn't that just like a control freak religionist? "If the Universe is good, it is because I created it and everything in it. If something in it is bad, you need to take responsibility for that. It's probably your fault. Mine the blessings, yours the sin, suck it up..."

Mwahahahaha!! Talk about a double standard. I guess solipsism loses its charm when you look too closely...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 12:57 PM

To the contrary! It becomes more and more intoxicating the deeper you go into it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 01:07 PM

It's Friday! Who is going to be around on Sunday to change all of MOM's clocks?

The rest of you, watch out for folks who want to clean your clocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 01:30 PM

I will be here but Mom doesn't need any help.   She is wired, as you know, into a complex network of servomechanisms, routers, relays, oscillators, capacitative devices and Schottke schlockers that enable her to read real time every one-millionth of a second anywhere in the world by observing the rate of decay in ultraviolet radiation from a first-magnitude bluish-white giant of spectral class B2 III somewhere out in the region of Orion. Everybody knows that!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 03:48 PM

Amos' soul is warped! Amos soul is warped!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 06:43 PM

Are you still on the road, Rapaire? Perhaps what you're detecting is that your rotor is warped? How are your brakes working?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 07:09 PM

I am in Santa Fe and will be here tomorrow night as well. Then, on Sunday, we drive back to Albuquerque to fly home on Monday. Amos' soul is warped, for Amos does not Believe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 07:48 PM

All warping is in the soul of the beholder, Goode Mye Manne of Booques.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 10:44 PM

There's nothing quite as satisfying as going on a trip
Unless it be coming home from one.

Good ol' Henry David


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 11:11 PM

Believe, Amos! Your warped soul can still be made straight by the super-steam of True Belief and Generous Donations*.






















*Non-deductible for taxation purposes, so that you suffer more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 12:50 AM

Neither belief nor geld shall be rendered unto Mammon, no matter what he claims.

Go to, rapscallion. Your obsequy shall avail thee NAUGHT!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 01:32 AM

Forfend, wretch! You begin to vex me. Get thee thither, like an ill wind, and trouble us no longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 10:37 AM

Then, villein, by bell, book and candle I must cast thee out in the Darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, yea, even the gnashing of dentures, and where the worm of everlasting fire (much like the chile sauce I had last night) shall eat at thy guts forever or until you make a suitable donation of your worldly goods, whichever comes first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 02:01 PM

Nay, I shall not be moved by your fiery noises and your vituperous incantations; I have the strength of an hundred, yea, for mine Harte is Pure.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 02:04 PM

Thy visage is sicklied o'er with a foul humour. So too thy vainglorious protestations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 02:45 PM

I used to date her. How could I ever forget Pearl Pureheart? Ah, youth!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 04:02 PM

I was wondering, what ever happened to Teresa?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM

She dropped into the slipstream, alas. I miss her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 10:49 PM

I am listening to My Clinch Mountain Home, by the Carter Family. We just watched "Saving Grace" but I don't recommend it.

I have a new office at work with a big window. I spent three hours there this morning trying to figure out where all my junk should go. It's impossible.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 11:01 PM

I used to enjoy the postings of our Teresa, and you can PM her and sometimes get a response. I don't think she has been by for a long time now, tho. I'm in a new iteration of my email so have probably lost her address.

I hate to think of what JAWS made of some of our postings for her listening pleasure. :-/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 11:16 PM

Important Information



This is my first attempt at these tricks!



The vessel with the pestle
has the pellet with the poison.



The flagon with the dragon
has the brew that is true!



I'm trying to figure out the invisible writing, now!"



Eiseley



Thank you for the encouragement, dear Stilly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM

Spaciously spread spooky Spanish spinach spans species.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 10 - 11:33 PM

We are a bad influence, aren't we?

There are quite a few practice html threads here at Mudcat. You can learn quite a lot from some of these folks who took the time to code in the instructions so you can see what it is supposed to look like (when of course you normally don't see the code unless you look at the source.)

Rap, are you okay? The road trip got you feeling a little loopy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 01:05 AM

As one black bug bled blue-black blood

the other black bug bled blue.



Goodnight, folks,
Remember to set your clocks ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 10:49 AM

Two of our clocks and all our computers and iPhones are self-setting thanks to the miracle of a radio-soaked civilization. The rest are all put right now. One only had to have the clock hands turned by tweaking a wheel with the finger--the old kitchen clock with the Gothic hands. It is almost hard to remember when every clock in my home had to be set by twisting a shaft.

In this rare day when we are resetting the counters of our lives, it is good to notice that we are proving our mastery of time itself, even though it is easy to fall into an automated slumber of blind compliance with the seconds and minutes we borrowed from our silly Moon and our spinning mudball of a planet. It is ours to say how it shall be counted and where it shall start.

Mom, I did the birdcage all clean. The birds appreciate it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 11:04 AM

HAPPY PI DAY MOM!!! 3.14








"In honor of Pi Day, March 14 (or 3.14 for those who may need a hint), readers may be interested in reading an interview with Professor Daisuke Takahashi, the Japanese researcher who found 2.5 trillion digits of Pi back in August, before being apparently being edged out in December by a French computer programmer looking to prove his efficient coding abilities. Professor Takahashi's interview gives some unique insight into one man who truly marvels at the number that has driven people to ever greater lengths to find more digits for centuries."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 11:16 AM

Blackberry, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 12:04 PM

Moose-turd Pi for you, you meandering miscreant!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 12:42 PM

"it is good to notice that we are proving our mastery of time itself"


Ah-ha! ha! ha! ha!

My good man, it's the other way around. Time is the master of us. Just look in the mirror for proof of that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 01:07 PM

Au Contraire, bon Hawk Petit. Time is man-made and measures Duration. When you TRULY comprehend the difference you will have achieved a plane of Understanding that I shall call "Aboveamos".

As your first exercise, think on and discuss in detail how the difference between Time and Duration affects, if it affects at all, Einstein's General Theory of Relativity. Write clearly; you have one hour. Use as many test books as you need.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 01:48 PM

Time is not manmade, timepieces are manmade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 01:56 PM

You err. Time is a spiritual artifact dependent on the belief that duration occurs. This itself is debateable.

Since the accursed Newton and his bedamnŽd calculus, we have insisted on measuring these instants as though they were streaming. They are not. They are lumpenproletariat inventions, unable to stream, glide, skip or hop.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 02:24 PM

Who you callin' "erroneous", huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 04:01 PM

In a sense you are quite correct, Amos. We create "time" (as we experience it) through our own body-centered consciousness. When unconscious, there is no experience of time. When bodiless, yet conscious, there may be the experience of timelessness...though that remains hpyothetical. As long as we insist on identifying with the body, however, then the body is affected by the passage of time which is to say, it ages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 04:53 PM

--
I am content to follow to its source
Every event, in action or in thought;
Measure the lot, forgive myself the lot!
When such as I cast out remorse,
So great a sweetness flows into the breast
We must laugh and we must sing.
We are blest by everything
Everything we look upon is blest.

Dialogue of Self and Soul, W.B. Yeats


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 05:48 PM

Actually moments of apparent unconsciousness still contain a strong sense of duration and time whether accurate or not. It tends to get overlaid by the black paint of "unconsciousness", especially when deeply traumatic, but these layers can be peeled off.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 06:06 PM

Like the layers of an onion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 07:27 PM

Quite so, mon petit chou.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 08:38 PM

I spent most of my time today working on the garden. And there are onions out there, though they're volunteers from last year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM

Or so it seems to me; of course I do not know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 09:39 PM

Well of COURSE you don't know. You're a volunteer onion in a petunia patch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 10:25 PM

Piff, tush, my good man. Your nouns are reversed, for one thing. And for another, I am well paid for what I do. It is not easy trying to teach onions how to sell like real flowers. Some of them never learn.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 10 - 10:45 PM

Onion flowers are beautiful! But convincing florists to use them might be difficult since they smell so much like they belong in the salad, not in a vase.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 01:37 AM

My neighbor spray paints her huge allium blooms gold and silver and purple when they begin to go to seed. Then she gathers them into a big vase and sends them to work with me to share with everyone. Some of them are at least 6 or 8 inches in diameter. So one CAN make a bouquet with onion/allium flowers. They don't have a fragrance, though.

No gilded lilies here. We gild onions instead.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 09:49 AM

I think we have several members of the guild of polymaths. They feel no guilt at whipping up examples at a moment's notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 10:28 AM

The GUild of Polly Maths consisted of seventeen senior-year athletes, ten junior-year athletes, seven sophomore-year gymnasts in matching blue and white track suits, and a token nerd -- a freshman programmer. Thanks to her verbal and social fluency and her, um, dexterity, they never got together to compare notes until after Polly graduated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 03:05 PM

Now at the dawning of the day
At thirty four and six our Mom doth lay.
And every MOAB son and wife
Should here commit to bear the strife,
Take on the toil, to form the foolish clay
That leads us on unto the next of Kay.

Now is the time, for one more Kay to strive!
To joyful shout to Mom, we are Alyve!
To notify the Worlde, and to confess
Above all else, love Mom and Love Bee Ess.
Make known thy Heart, and widely sing its sway
That we may all ring in the next of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM

Wild Grapes---Robert Frost

What tree may not the fig be gathered from?
The grape may not be gathered from the birch?
It's all you know the grape, or know the birch.
As a girl gathered from the birch myself
Equally with my weight in grapes, one autumn,
I ought to know what tree the grape is fruit of.
I was born, I suppose, like anyone,
And grew to be a little boyish girl
My brother could not always leave at home.
But that beginning was wiped out in fear
The day I swung suspended with the grapes,
And was come after like Eurydice
And brought down safely from the upper regions;
And the life I live now's an extra life
I can waste as I please on whom I please.
So if you see me celebrate two birthdays,
And give myself out of two different ages,
One of them five years younger than I look--
One day my brother led me to a glade
Where a white birch he knew of stood alone,
Wearing a thin head-dress of pointed leaves,
And heavy on her heavy hair behind,
Against her neck, an ornament of grapes.
Grapes, I knew grapes from having seen them last year.
One bunch of them, and there began to be
Bunches all round me growing in white birches,
The way they grew round Leif the Lucky's German;
Mostly as much beyond my lifted hands, though,
As the moon used to seem when I was younger,
And only freely to be had for climbing.
My brother did the climbing; and at first
Threw me down grapes to miss and scatter
And have to hunt for in sweet fern and hardhack;
Which gave him some time to himself to eat,
But not so much, perhaps, as a boy needed.
So then, to make me wholly self-supporting,
He climbed still higher and bent the tree to earth
And put it in my hands to pick my own grapes.
"Here, take a tree-top, I'll get down another.
Hold on with all your might when I let go."
I said I had the tree. It wasn't true.
The opposite was true. The tree had me.
The minute it was left with me alone
It caught me up as if I were the fish
And it the fishpole. So I was translated
To loud cries from my brother of "Let go!
Don't you know anything, you girl? Let go!"
But I, with something of the baby grip
Acquired ancestrally in just such trees
When wilder mothers than our wildest now
Hung babies out on branches by the hands
To dry or wash or tan, I don't know which,
(You'll have to ask an evolutionist)--
I held on uncomplainingly for life.
My brother tried to make me laugh to help me.
"What are you doing up there in those grapes?
Don't be afraid. A few of them won't hurt you.
I mean, they won't pick you if you don't them."
Much danger of my picking anything!
By that time I was pretty well reduced
To a philosophy of hang-and-let-hang.
"Now you know how it feels," my brother said,
"To be a bunch of fox-grapes, as they call them,
That when it thinks it has escaped the fox
By growing where it shouldn't--on a birch,
Where a fox wouldn't think to look for it--
And if he looked and found it, couldn't reach it--
Just then come you and I to gather it.
Only you have the advantage of the grapes
In one way: you have one more stem to cling by,
And promise more resistance to the picker."
One by one I lost off my hat and shoes,
And still I clung. I let my head fall back,
And shut my eyes against the sun, my ears
Against my brother's nonsense; "Drop," he said,
"I'll catch you in my arms. It isn't far."
(Stated in lengths of him it might not be.)
"Drop or I'll shake the tree and shake you down."
Grim silence on my part as I sank lower,
My small wrists stretching till they showed the banjo strings.
"Why, if she isn't serious about it!
Hold tight awhile till I think what to do.
I'll bend the tree down and let you down by it."
I don't know much about the letting down;
But once I felt ground with my stocking feet
And the world came revolving back to me,
I know I looked long at my curled-up fingers,
Before I straightened them and brushed the bark off.
My brother said: "Don't you weigh anything?
Try to weigh something next time, so you won't
Be run off with by birch trees into space."
It wasn't my not weighing anything
So much as my not knowing anything--
My brother had been nearer right before.
I had not taken the first step in knowledge;
I had not learned to let go with the hands,
As still I have not learned to with the heart,
And have no wish to with the heart--nor need,
That I can see. The mind--is not the heart.
I may yet live, as I know others live,
To wish in vain to let go with the mind--
Of cares, at night, to sleep; but nothing tells me
That I need learn to let go with the heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 08:51 PM

Oh, my that is so sweet. He writes like a birch tree hiding the grapes in the last few branches up.


A


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