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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Feb 11 - 11:47 AM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 12:43 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 11 Feb 11 - 12:58 PM
Eiseley 11 Feb 11 - 01:41 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 02:05 PM
gnu 11 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM
Acme 11 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 03:20 PM
Eiseley 11 Feb 11 - 04:05 PM
GUEST,Dale 11 Feb 11 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 05:30 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 11 - 05:57 PM
GUEST 11 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM
GUEST,Dale 11 Feb 11 - 06:41 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 06:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM
Amos 11 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM
gnu 11 Feb 11 - 08:37 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 11 - 08:46 PM
Acme 11 Feb 11 - 09:17 PM
Amos 12 Feb 11 - 11:06 AM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 02:29 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 02:33 PM
gnu 12 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 11 - 03:54 PM
gnu 12 Feb 11 - 04:23 PM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 11 - 06:32 PM
Eiseley 12 Feb 11 - 06:34 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 11 - 06:38 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 11 - 10:35 PM
Acme 13 Feb 11 - 01:13 AM
gnu 13 Feb 11 - 11:18 AM
Amos 13 Feb 11 - 01:36 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 11 - 01:54 PM
gnu 13 Feb 11 - 01:55 PM
gnu 13 Feb 11 - 02:19 PM
Amos 13 Feb 11 - 08:11 PM
Acme 13 Feb 11 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 11 - 10:11 PM
Amos 13 Feb 11 - 10:20 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 11 - 10:36 PM
Acme 13 Feb 11 - 11:57 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 11 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 11 - 08:45 AM
Amos 14 Feb 11 - 11:55 AM
Eiseley 14 Feb 11 - 11:59 AM
Amos 14 Feb 11 - 12:40 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 11:47 AM

Maybe one of these personaes is Mubarak, working on his English and looking for something to do now that he's out of power. He could do worse, and it would explain the grammar and typos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 12:43 PM

That's an interesting notion, Stilly, but I prefer to believe that a tawdry love triangle cum vendetta is unfolding across the snowswept slopes of North Ontario, one that will produce many shocking revelations and probably a few pretty grotty incidents. This could bring some much-needed excitement to the Blind River area and the whole region. I hope so. Things get pretty slow around there in the winter. The new of Mubarak's exit has momentarily given people something to talk about in Blind River, but since most of them don't even know where Egypt is or who Hosni Mubarak is, it hasn't helped that much.

As Shane said, "Who the flip is Hostnee Moobarick? What kinda flippin' name IS that anyways? Is that a man's name???"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 12:58 PM

Ahem! I have been besieged lately by a flood of internet messages, all of them entreaties begging me to make an appearance on this apparently endless thread, "The Mother of all BS threads" as it's called. Many people seem to want me to drop in and make the 40,000 post here. Apparently that post is approaching fairly soon, and a host of people want ME to make it.

One question occurs to me immediately.

"Why?"

I frankly can't see the point in my doing so. I can't see any point in my visiting here at all, donating time from my busy schedule to a purpose that lacks all relevance and that promises...let me be honest here...little in the way of either profit or amusement.

Nevertheless, I am not a completely insensitive man, and I do feel for the concerns of my fellow humans, foolish though some of those concerns might be...

I am considering the possibility. I may show up here to make the 40,000 post. I may not. I promise nothing. To those who are sending me these messages...please stop! You have already said all that needs to be said on the matter, and nothing you say further will affect my ultimate decision, so give it up and get a life, okay?

You can't pressure me into it. I'm used to blowing off people who try to pressure me into things by now. You'll just have to hope for the best.

As always,

William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 01:41 PM

Even the first half is bad . . .

A woman came into the library without her teeth. She was a bit embarrassed and mumbled, "I was drinking too much last night and I barfed 'em out in the toilet." she looked up and continued, "And my husband couldn't fish them out like he did last time."

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:05 PM

We had a song challenge about that situation once. As I recall I used the tune of 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' to write a ditty about Mabel's Snowy Dentures...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM

Billybob... with all due respect, it is my sicerest hope that khandu pens the 40k post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM

Eiseley, how did you keep a straight face in the presence of that story?

The world reaches the wilds of Idaho classrooms.

Has Bill Shatner snagged ANY important number so far? I don't think so. You know the old saying, "those who can, do. Those who can't, spend their time in California." (Sorry, Amos.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 03:20 PM

We slewed past thirty-nine and six
And the land was cold and pale
But the ice was flying through the air
On the face of an awful gale.

There was ice in the air before us
And ice on the land behind
And the dogs was acting nervous
And the men were steering blind.

Over the ice, the endless ice,
We forced our harried way,
With only the sled twixt us and hell,
And the piper still to pay,
On the path to the next of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 04:05 PM

Are we between the devil and the deep blue sea, Amos?

Oh, Stilly, that link you shared is full of the propagandized rhetoric of a raving Lunatic---Tom Luna, who is the double-speaking state school superintendent. Would that he were skewered on Rapparee's new birthday present!

Instead of guffawing into the toothless face of that lady, I kept very stoic and sympathetic, then ran back to my office to tell y'all.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dale
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 04:25 PM

Sheryl,

I am in Duluth at the pickle park of a chicken coup. I took the big road behind a blocker runnin in the big hole with a bird dog shakin the bushes sos I'd have a clean shot on accounta my travel agent said the potash mine needs the metal real quick on accounta they got a munchy down at 15 large an hour. I lost time cawse a the border bears securin the homeland eh. No problem at the next doormat cause I got flippers on an theres nuthin fer yer tearerests ta attack in big sky country. As long as the cownty mownties and the yella stripes are treed I'll make Moose Jaw short short and flip flop 110 and double nickal on accounta even tho I ain't got no refer the cow will be cold.

As far as a dubel dubel ain't no way I am doin anythin like that unless its a Tims and not a shotgun. Matter a fact, unles you git yer shit together an git rid a Shane fer brains I am triple digit when I hit Uppity Canada an its hammer down fer the Merrytimes. Daisy texded me an she says Tuptee took her first steps and she might take me back if I swear I was drunk when I knocked you up sos I can be a father figger and keep her out of the pickle parks.

Dont make me chuse tween yer old man and hers on accounta she was the one what got him to get me out an give me a job pumpin at tha Irving for minimum and then he lent me the down on this heer large car. I cant drive with casts on my hands an pumpin gas when its minus real friggin cold sucks too an I know cawse I did it when I was waitin on my assalt charge. You shoulda seen tha other guy. But, if I gotta chuse tween broken fingers an a shotgun I'll be gettin me one a them voice rekognishon cell phones eh.

So like I said ya wanna get with Shane get with Shane. Yer call. But ya better dial soon.

For I go, I gotta ask ya one kwestion. Does that there nose ring frost up when its minus friggin freezin.

Back out darlin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:30 PM

The truth is, any number which William Shatner snags is...by definition...a VERY important number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:32 PM

And I'm not sure I can stand any more trucker lingo! Y' hear that, Dale?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 05:57 PM

This may or may not be apropos:

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?






      




      




      




      


   

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?




      
Scroll down




         




      




The moral is....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:31 PM

LH... 10-4 good buddy. I think Daisy and I will get back together anyway and clear the way for Shane ta dodge Sheryl on his own. I am comin ta think Sheryl is just a backwater slough in the stream of life on accounta she even admitted she coodnt hold her licker. Shit happens eh.

But if that McBride fellah rants anymore I ain't gonna take those threats too kindly. I am a gentleman an even said I would run but when it comes ta threats this here good ol Kent County boy is hard enuff to be turned upside downy an driven inta hard ground eh. An if he wants ta get Don on me I'll get Del ta remind him not ta fuck with eagles eh. Big brothers have the voice of reeson when they have a reeson eh.

Sins I ain't herd from Sheryl sins the last pickle park I gess I'll just head down east and hope she sends pics of the twins some day. I just hope they aint but ugly on accounta that wood meen it was not me what really did knock her up.

I gotta hit the tar if I am gonna make it to Winnepeg in time to freeze solid. If ya never bin ta Winnepeg in February dont.

Back out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dale
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:41 PM

That there talk at LH was me. I aint use ta this hi teck stuff. Loggin in an out means haulin pulp ta me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 06:46 PM

That is a very clever tale, Rapparee! ;-)

What I think women really want is this:

1. security (both financial and emotional)

2. love and appreciation from those whom they love

3. respect (which goes along with appreciation above)

4. and a good time (fun, in other words) (this can include all kinds of enjoyable activities from the most intimate to the social, the recreational, the cultural, etc., and it requires a partner with a good sense of humour, and who enjoys life).

I can understand perfectly well why they would want these things, by the way... ;-) It's pretty much what I want too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 07:57 PM

I get you, Dale. ;-) I wouldn't waste any time over Shane's ranting if I were you. He is all talk and no action. He just needs to blow off steam, that's all. I think he's mad cos he thinks you stole his thunder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:27 PM

Ya left out obedjence, dude!

For those who have a hunger for unnerstandin' here's a guide to the lingo. The use of obscure incomprehensible language is a specialty of certain parties who shall remain nameless.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:37 PM

LH... that speaks volumes. After all, like George Carlin said, all we really want is our thunder. I am paraphrasing of course. I am sure that there will hence be thunder stealing in one way or another in due time as oneupmanship seems to appeal as thunderous and becomes the order of day... and night... perhaps all will be silent... as if to ignore the thunder of others roars even more loud. There are those who would revel even in silence considereing it a tool of pojection of their own literary prowess rather than join in the banter at hand.

Given such, I expect Dale, Del, Daisy and their ilk shall refrain from airing their personal delicates in open forum in future. All tho, Daisy has been on the internut porn sites lately an she's curious about some stuff eh? She asked me some questions that really freaked me out and I told her to ask you on accounta you are a worldly kinda guy. So, if she PMs ya, be gentle eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 08:46 PM

Oh? Really? Okay, I promise to be gentle when Daisy PMs me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 11 - 09:17 PM

When I was crossing the country a couple of times a year I had a CB in my pickup. Used to talk to the guys sometimes. My favorite joke from those drives is this:










What's the ugliest thing on a naked woman?




































A Rodeway Driver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 11:06 AM

Hmmmm....a nugget from the seamy side!

Once again, my compadres and comadres, the time is upon us when I must sally bravely into the dark alleys of the Border Zone is search of rare and excellent treasures.

Oh, come with me to Mexico
Where the hurly-burly's bright
Where the streets of night light up like day
And honor is dark as night.
Where the bullets fly every by-and-by
And the gutters run with blood.
Ho, come with me to Mexico
'Cuz returning home feels good!
If you make it back past the border guards
And the goons of the HSA
To a place where drinking water's free
And the runners know their place.
(But where health care costs are out the roof
And will never likely slow!)
Oh come with me to Mexico,
Where the dental fees are low!
Away, in Mexico!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM

Ay-ay-ay-ay! Mis pantalones!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 02:29 PM

[In] search of rare and excellent treasures

Gold teeth?
Amalgam fillings?
Velvet paintings?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 02:33 PM

I have a black velvet painting here of Shatner in a Speedo. It's priceless. I know that, because I have tried to sell it, and no one has made me an offer yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 03:16 PM

I take it off yer hands fer $100 LH. But you gotta pay shipping too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 03:54 PM

Gnu, you forgot the decimal point after the 1.

YES!! I am still here, even after my annual birthday orgy. Not even hung over! Well, maybe it wasn't quite the orgy it was some years ago. But I did have a very nice Reisling (the wine, not the gun) and a good dinner at PV's (they make their own tiramisu). My birthday present had come earlier in the week at the doctor's office.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 04:23 PM

Hey, Rap. If LH pays me $100 plus shipping to take it off his hands don't you be messin with the deal eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:27 PM

So, Rapparee, please tell us what your birthday present was that you got at the doctor's office. I hope it was great news about Pat and not that the surgeon has a cool collection of swords she shared with you.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:32 PM

Clean node edges and a chance to send excised tissue to testing at OncotypeDX for genetic markers regarding recurrence of breast cancer. No, no swords that I know of but the doctor does have a really nice dog that I've met.

Why, I'd most druther have Pat around than a bottle of good Scotch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:34 PM

Wonderful news! Thank you for sharing.

Kathryn


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 06:38 PM

Okay, gnu, someone else has made me a similar offer, only he said he wants $1,000 plus the painting (and I pay for shipping). I'm having a hard time deciding what to do, because I don't want this Shatner painting to be dishonored by parting with it for too small an amount of cash.

Decisions, decisions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 11 - 10:35 PM

Ah, guys...in some countries the comma is used instead of a decimal point. E.g., 1,000 = 1.000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 01:13 AM

I'm going to pass along a site for Pat that Amos shared on facebook. I hadn't heard this woman before, but she is funny! Jeanne Robertson is from North Carolina, and she has such a common-sense delivery and classic timing that I think the endorphins from laughter will help Pat with her healing. And Rap, tell her not to call you "Left Brain" to your face. :)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 11:18 AM

SRS... I've been listening to her on Sirius radio. She's good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 01:36 PM

I don't think she wants to be taken Siriusly, gnu....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 01:54 PM

Is Sirius radio something Harry Potter's godfather runs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 01:55 PM

BTW, I posted a link to one of her bits on the You Tube Gems thread a while back. Of course, you can just YT her. She is siriusly funny A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 02:19 PM

Who`s a Harry PotterÉ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 08:11 PM

My fire of Passion, sighes of ayre,
Water of teares, and earthly sad despaire,
         Which my materialls bee,
But ne'r worne out by lBS made too free,,
Shee, to my losse, doth by her death repaire,
   And I might live long wretched so
But that my fire doth with my fuell grow.
      Now as those Active Kings
   Whose foraine conquest treasure brings,
Receive more, and spend more, and soonest breake:
This (which I am amaz'd that I can speake)
      This death, hath with my store
         BS encreas'd.
And so my soule more earnestly releas'd,
Will outstrip hers; As bullets flowen before
A latter bullet may o'rtake, the pouder being more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 08:33 PM

After a couple of weeks of misery, we're due some good weather, and it looks like the goddess of sunny days is going to accommodate us. MOM, it may be too soon to set up the inflatable pool, but you can at least pull the tarps off of a couple of the chairs and a table out on the sun porch. It looks like a good week for lunch al fresco.

Don't tell Shane, he'll think "al fresco" is some kind of drink and come around to mooch some off of Little Hawk. He's such a soft touch. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 10:11 PM

Al Fresco runs an Italian food joint in Blind River. Shame was tossed outa there years ago, when he tied all of his spaghetti strands together, stood on the table, and yelled, "Watch me suck!" His suckyness caused neighboring diners to tie their strands onto the end of Shame's, and he ended up sucking for three hours. Afterward he was known as "The Biggest Sucker In Blind River" and "The King Of Suck", titles which he still holds today (nobody else wants them).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 10:20 PM

So AL lost one of his few friends; in spite of having his own restaurant, he was always asking people to take him out to eat, and it eventually drove them away...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 10:36 PM

But what really got Shame banned from every Italian restaurant in Ontario east to the Maritimes was that when he reached the end he pulled it all back out. He was started to re-suck the noodles when the police escorted him, weeping and sobbing over "losing his sucky", out of the building.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 11 - 11:57 PM

Dishing up the straight lines for nearly 40,000 posts and counting. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 11 - 12:29 AM

Yes, that was one of Shane's really spectacular exploits, Rap. It has left an indelible impression on the inhabitants of the entire region. As you say, he is banned from entering Italian restaurants. He's been banned from the "liberry" too, and from a number of drinking establishments. He may soon achieve the great accomplishment of being banned from more places of business than he is allowed into. He's teetering on the edge at Tim Horton's!

Fortunately, Don can still go to these various places, with the exception of one of the largest Sudbury liquor stores. They haven't forgiven either Shane or Don for the great "school bus/liquor store" robbery of some years back. Don has learned his lesson since then, and he doesn't take Shane along when he's got a really good plan worked out for a successful heist...because "the little brother" always has a way of screwing things up somehow. In the case of the liquor store/school bus robbery, for instance, Shane suggested that they start drinking in the school bus while the robbery was still underway rather than do it after arriving home with all the booze and ditching the school bus somewhere! They did as Shane suggested, and things got a wee bit out of hand.

Just think how far Don could have gone in life by now if he'd have thought of that, say, 10 or 15 years ago...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 11 - 08:45 AM

Think of how far he could have gone if he'd pushed Shame off that cliff when he was five years old....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 11 - 11:55 AM

"To complete this difficult day, Lincoln received an obscene letter from a Mr. A. G. Frick. It began, "If you don't Resign we are going to put a spider in your dumpling and play the Devil with you," continued unprintably from there, and concluded with "god dam a fool and goddam Abe Lincoln.""...

"...Lincoln tried to make the best of it. Speaking from the rear platform, he saw a very tall coal miner named Henry Dillon. One of them – the sources are unclear – said to the other, "I want to shake hands with you; I can lick salt off the top of your head!" That was the invitation to a height contest, which Lincoln barely won, to the huge enjoyment of the crowd. "



   Both from the NYT current column on the evolution of the Civil War.

But what I really want to know is, when did we stop breeding such poets in our streets and how did we kill the music of the ordinary tongue? Spider in your dumpling, indeed!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 14 Feb 11 - 11:59 AM

Please take a moment to be glad you're not in graduate school. This week I have to complete my final Capstone examination. This entails writing three carefully researched essays, about 12 to 15 pages each, all to be turned in by early next Monday morning. I'll be working at home a couple of the days this week, and listening to Bach to build up the brain cells. Please give me plenty to laugh about as I work at composing intellectual BS(?) for my esteemed professors to read.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 11 - 12:40 PM

O, say a prayer for Kathy Eiseley
Who follows up her plan most wisely
And spurns pretensions (vain and dressy)
To focus on her Capstone essays!

Who will not let her brain-cells lock
By dousing them with floods of Bach
To keep the neurons and synapses
From generating mental lapses.

And, that her life should not grow duller
We hope, full-blown with flying colors,
Her efforts reach their culmination
In Eiseley's Epic Graduation!!


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