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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 20 Feb 11 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM
Acme 21 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 09:24 AM
gnu 21 Feb 11 - 01:56 PM
Little Hawk 21 Feb 11 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 21 Feb 11 - 05:23 PM
Acme 21 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM
Amos 21 Feb 11 - 08:59 PM
Eiseley 21 Feb 11 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 11 - 09:23 PM
Amos 21 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 11 - 01:10 AM
Amos 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM
Amos 22 Feb 11 - 12:49 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 01:15 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 11 - 01:43 PM
Acme 22 Feb 11 - 01:48 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:08 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:10 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 04:38 PM
Amos 22 Feb 11 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 07:23 PM
gnu 22 Feb 11 - 07:27 PM
Eiseley 22 Feb 11 - 10:28 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 11 - 11:03 PM
Acme 22 Feb 11 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 11 - 11:44 PM
Acme 23 Feb 11 - 12:00 AM
freda underhill 23 Feb 11 - 05:54 AM
Amos 23 Feb 11 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 23 Feb 11 - 10:10 AM
Amos 23 Feb 11 - 10:19 AM
Amos 23 Feb 11 - 10:30 AM
gnu 23 Feb 11 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 11 - 03:11 PM
gnu 23 Feb 11 - 03:30 PM
Amos 23 Feb 11 - 04:31 PM
Amos 23 Feb 11 - 05:19 PM
gnu 23 Feb 11 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 11 - 09:34 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 03:34 PM

I think this thread should stop at 39,999... until khandu posts 40k. That might be a way to alleviate the oneupmanship herewithin.

Of course, that is only my perception of the good hearted banter and straightperson setups I have observed at times.

Nonetheless, it only seems befitting to me that the OP should be allowed and encouraged to wear this honour, if, indeed, it really is an honour and not just a biggest dick contest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 07:28 PM

You, sir, have just insult the fair Eiseley and the beautiful Stilly, not to mention Janie and others.

Apologize at once, sirrah, or I will be forced to have my friends call upon you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 09:40 PM

You have friends? How many?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 10:12 PM

Lessee, there's...ah...well, my two brothers...but they're both nuts...and there's my friend...no, he's dead...well, how about...no, he's in the State Hospital...oh, I know! Pete Trudeau! And he's Canadian! Had some sort of government job for a while, but I think he's currently unemployed. No relation to Gary Trudeau, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 10:33 PM

Nice footwork under fire there, Rap. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 12:15 AM

Perhaps Stilly and Eiseley will "call on him."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:24 AM

I would like this to be done in a way that he won't insult women again...but without breaking his kneecaps and elbows. Just a bullet or a blade...wait, Eiseley is a pretty fair shot....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 01:56 PM

As for the much fairer sex herein being affronted, I offer that they do not partake in the oneupmanship games and also don't give a flitting duck about copping The Big Fourty.

As for sending any of your friends to abridge my physical prowess in any way, shape or form, send friends you do not care about as I, sir, am an able marksman and I have enough firepower to instigate a small revolution.

BTW... Pierre ne Pter pas maintenant, la. Il est morte.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 03:37 PM

LOL!!! By Gar, you don' mess around wit' da little guy from....where are you from, gnu?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 04:42 PM

Well, to be honest, I don't care about copping the big forty either. Now, the big five-oh...nah, I'll wait until Mom gets closer to my age: dibs on 100,000!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 05:23 PM

It's Amos who thirsts for the big Four-Oh with a perfervid and unnatural lust. In fact, he has become overwrought about it to the point where he has had to be sedated, and that accounts for the fact that he hasn't posted here in a bit... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 06:20 PM

You'll have to survey the hunting history here on the MOAB terrain. I think you'll find the distaff side has bagged a few big ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 08:59 PM

Fools and unrepentant miscreants!! I have been on the road from Atascadero to Carpenteria, south to Ventura, Thousand Oaks, Los Angeles, Tustin, San Clemente, Oceanside, Del Mar, La Jolla, and thus home. I have been wading through about 100 emails and other connections in an effort to regroup and recenter my focus here at home after three days in the wild rich hinterlands of the Central Coast. Go to!!

As for the Fortieth of Kay, I care not who signs the post, if I get to pen the ballad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:12 PM

Amos, you may pen the ballad. Sing of MOAB, strong and glad!

I just returned from a beautiful ski trip to the wilds of Harriman State Park. The wild swans were on the river, and there was fresh snow.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 09:23 PM

On we mushed, through the sloppy slush,
The dogs damned near at their end,
And we knew full well the final bell
Would soon with the Aurora blend.
Then Amos' sled, far out ahead,
Broke through the river ice
And tho' we screamed and yelled,
We couldn't help and he vanished in a trice.
"Oh, my!" Stilly said, "what a way to go!
Sunk underneath the river's ice
And tons and tons of snow."

We mourned poor Amos 'round the fire that night
And drank in a sorrowful mood,
For o'er his loss we couldn't gloss,
'Cause his sled had had all the food.
So as we munched on a crispy haunch
That had belonged to one of his dogs,
We were glad we'd found just that one hound
Washed up from the depths below.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 11 - 10:49 PM

Evil comes in many forms, Rapparee. When a man asks one kind request--to pen the ballad of the Fortieth Kay--and you, in your next breath, betray that simple wish--and to add insult to injury, do it badly--then have you declared your self on the Darke Side indeed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:10 AM

Yes, and the Darke Side is even darker than the Dark Side is! And that's DARK. I get shivers just thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM

Dear William:

FOrget you ever head the wordf Mudcat. Abandon all pretensions of connection, all ambitions of glory, all aspirations to the forty-kay post. Forget you ever saw our faces, even if you haven't.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:35 AM

Who said that was part of "The Ballad of Forty Kay"?

You jump to too many conclusions, Grasshopper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:40 AM

In fact, Amos, there is just one "k" in the entire thing, and that's in the word "sunk". If you'd like I'll post forty "k"s, though. No, you may have the honor ("honour" or maybe "honuor" or whatever if you'd in one of those places).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 12:49 PM

Oh, Rapparee, your exertions to shuck responsibility for your own actions are just transparent and pathetic. You know you done wrong, dude; man up... Grasshopper, indeed.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:15 PM

LH... Me, I like to 'ave Da Little Guy for 'ooever 'e's sent 'ere for no good. Dat Little Guy 'e's got da vicegrip dans le mains jezzeoheh. 'im, 'e could choke le merde out dat bunch la... wit one 'and la! But Jean is in da States at da golf. Dat 'arper e's' how you say... ah... peitie chat en anglaise.

Where I live? J'habite a Pointe-du-Chene. Take da last right before da wharf an I am tree cottages past Elvis... da one wit da Caddys in da yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:43 PM

LOL!!! Man, I gotta get me a petit Quebecois girl dat she talk like dat. Give me da shivers...but in a good way, you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 01:48 PM

Traveled down the facebook rat hole this morning. That place can be as bad as YouTube for offering up distractions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:08 PM

Ahhhh... for those non-Canucks. The Little Guy From Shawinigan is Jean Chretian. Google "shawinigan handshake".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:10 PM

Come to think of it, Pierre laid a little self-defense on a photographer once. Don't mess with Quebecers eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 02:21 PM

LH... noooo... you need an Acadian girl. I can't do a Quebec accent. Neither can most Acaians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 04:38 PM

Neither can most Quebecois...or even moist Quebecois.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 06:15 PM

Nothin' says loving like a moist Quebecoise, hein?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM

Because Eiseley is just a sheltered young thing who may not understand what a Quebecois(e) is, I'll post these lyrics:

QUEBECOIS
Tom Rowe
1993

My name is Levesque, I'm a son of Quebec,
I'm a farmer and a Frenchman by birth.
I am used to hard work and the sun on my neck
And I raised what I could from the earth.
But now I'm a weaver in some rich man's mill,
Making blankets to earn a week's pay;
And it's six days a week, dawn to dark, in this hell,
But I'm goin' back home come someday.

I'm Giselle Corriveau and I'm joining my beau
In the spring when the log drive is through.
He's a woodsman you know, and I do love him so,
And for him there's not much I won't do.
So I sweat all day long in this shoe factory
To put a few dollars away
To save toward a farm in our own country,
'Cause we're goin' back home come someday.

It is work, it is family, it's church, it is God,
(C'est le travail, c'est la famille, c'est l'Eglise, c'est Dieu)
It is why we came here to this land,
To make a new life and be what we are--
The proud and the strong Quebecois,
The proud and the strong Quebecois.

I'm Gerard Fournier and I cut wood all day.
In the spring I am taking a wife.
We'll go back to the land, it's our forefathers' way,
To nurture the earth is our life.
And on Saturday nights we will dance and we'll sing,
Raise a glass to our family and friends,
And it's Sunday to church and the solace it brings,
And on Monday we'll start once again.

Oh, we are the folk who quietly toil,
In this new land of hope we have found
In the woods, on the sea, in the hard, rocky soil,
In the factories that clutter the towns.
And we raised up cathedrals to the glory of God,
They were built of our blood and our tears.
And we made it through hard times and hunger and flood,
And we'll be here for thousands of years.

If you want to listen to it...click here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 07:23 PM

Ah, you have been to St. Catherine's Street? To Le Super Sexe la?

Actually, as a young engineer, I was quite taken aback at the planning that went into the design of Super Sexe. A hallway ran all the way around the seating area so that bouncers could get to almost anywhere in the club unhindered, thereby attempting to enusure it's patrons were kept in line by force if necessary. As well, the only way in or out for patrons was up (or down) a stairway... an old fortress defense technique. Unless there was an emergency (fire), whence the patrons could exit through the bouncer accesses and egress to safety, although this was not common knowledge.

Oh, yeah, there were 18 stunningly beautiful naked young women there too. But the planning impressed me more. Table dances were $5 each and beers were expensive too so a young engineer bereft of financial wherewithall had to entertain himself otherwise if he couldn't get a table next to rich businessmen. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 07:27 PM

Rap... thanks for that. Good stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:28 PM

Thank you, Rap.
I think I still have one of your Schooner Fare tapes.

Eisely


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 11:03 PM

Acadian, Quebecois, Arcadian, Circassian, Maltese, Gibraltarian, Parisienne...I'll take anyt'ing I can get, mon ami! I take Da Little Guy from Shawinigan along as my personal bodyguard if her brudders or her papa make trouble, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 11:24 PM

Hmmm. The Canuck folks I am more familiar with are Tlingit, Squamish, Tsimshian, Kwakiutl, and Shuswap. What's all this Quebecois silliness?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 11:44 PM

You forgot Haida, Blood, Athabascan, et al.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 12:00 AM

I was trying to stay long the coast, southern end of the province. And taking a guess. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 05:54 AM

So all day long the noise of battle roll'd
Among the mountains by the winter sea;
Until Rapparee's table, man by man,
Had fall'n in Lyonness about their Lord,
King Rapparee: then, because his wound was deep,
The bold Sir Gnu uplifted him,
Sir Gnu, the last of all his knights,
And bore him to a chapel nigh the field, [1]
A broken chancel with a broken nose
That stood on a dark strait of barren land.
On one side lay the Ocean, and on one
Lay a great water, and the moon was full.
Then spake King Rapparee to Sir Gnu:
"The sequel of to-day unsolders all
The goodliest fellowship of famous knights
Whereof this world holds record. Such a sleep
They sleep--the men I loved. I think that we
Shall never more, at any future time,
Delight our souls with talk of knightly deeds,
Walking about the gardens and the halls
Of Getaway, as in the days that were.
I perish by this people which I made,--
Tho' Merlin sware that I should come again
To rule once more--but let what will be, be,
I am so deeply smitten thro' the helm
That without help I cannot last till morn.
Thou therefore take my brand [2] Excalibur,
Which was my pride: for thou rememberest how
In those old days, one summer noon, an arm
Rose up from out the bosom of the lake,
Clothed in white samite, mystic, wonderful,
Holding the sword--and how I row'd across
And took it, and have worn it, like a king:
And, wheresoever I am sung or told
In aftertime, this also shall be known:
But now delay not: take Excalibur,
And fling him far into the middle mere:
Watch what thou sest, and lightly bring me word."
To him replied the bold Sir Gnu:
"It is not meet, Sir King, to leave thee thus,
Aidless, alone, and smitten thro' the helm.
A little thing may harm a wounded man.
Yet I thy hest will all perform at full,
Watch what I see, and lightly bring thee word."
So saying, from the ruin'd shrine Gnu stept
And in the moon athwart the place of tombs,
Where lay the mighty bones of ancient men,
Old knights, and over them the sea-wind sang
Shrill, chill, with flakes of foam. Rapparee, stepping down
By zig-zag paths, and juts of pointed rock,
Came on the shining levels of the lake...
He gazed so long
That both his eyes were dazzled, as he stood,
This way and that dividing the swift mind,
In act to throw: but at the last it seem'd
Better to leave Amos conceal'd
There in the many-knotted waterflags,
That whistled stiff and dry about the marge.
So strode he back slow to the wounded king.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 09:49 AM

The problem with Solipsism as practiced by Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 10:10 AM

MOM!!!
Amos is being mean to me just because I created him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 10:19 AM

That was beautiful Freda....but hard to believe. Did you change characters at the end? Anyway, I doubt me good Sirre Rapp would take the Jobbe of Arthurian Icon. It's not his bag, man...he likes fencing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 10:30 AM

Little Hawk's world is umbeset with imaginary friends.

Forms: α. ME umbeset, ME vmbesette, ME15 -set(t, wmbeset, 15 -sett, 15 ombeset(t; ME umbisett(e, ME vmbi-, ME vmbysett. β. ME vnbesette, 1516 -set, 15 unbeset, wnbesett.... (Show More)
Etymology: See umbe- prefixand beset v., and compare umb- prefixand umset v.So Middle Dutch omme-, ombesetp.p., Middle Danish ombesatp.p.... (Show More)
Obs. In later use Sc.
Thesaurus
Categories
    trans. To surround, encompass, beset.α.
a1300    Cursor Mundi 19775   Petre‥to is licam com at lai, Wit pouer widus vm-bi-sett.
a1400 (1325)    Cursor Mundi (Vesp.) l. 7179   ai vmbisett at tun a-bute.
c1475 (1400)    Apol. Lollard Doctr. (1842) 48   e auter is vmbeset wi stonis.
1487 (1380)    J. Barbour Bruce (St. John's Cambr.) ix. 706   He till the hous went hastely, And vmbeset [1489 Adv. wmbeset] it all about.
1487 (1380)    J. Barbour Bruce (St. John's Cambr.) vi. 535   The kyng wes in gret Iuperdy, That wes on athir syde vmbeset With fayis.
1488 (1478)    Hary Actis & Deidis Schir William Wallace (Adv.) v. l. 168   At syndry furdis the gait thai wmbeset.
1513    G. Douglas tr. Virgil neid xi. xiv. 22   Quhou huge dolfnes, and schamful cowardice, Hes ombeset ȝour myndis apon sik wys.
1575    J. Rolland Treat. Court Venus i. f. 3,   With Iacinth fine, and Topazion sa fair,‥Was vmbeset his bodye ouir all quhair.
1587    Reg. Privy Counc. Scot. IV. 162   Thai‥umbesettis thair hie wayes in thair ganging and cuming fra thair parroche kirk.
β.
c1440    Gesta Rom. (Add. MS.) lxv. 281   Whan the Steward was thus vnbesette with thise iij. bestes, he was right sory.
c1600    Diurnal of Remarkable Occurrents (1833) 168   Certane personis‥quha was werry bent to haue vnbesett him in the waij betuix Edinburgh and Berwick.
c1600    Hist. James VI (1804) 112   Thairfoir Lord Claud Hamiltoun unbeset the way with sum chosen men.
1624    in Abbotsford Club Misc. 144   Thomas Logie‥meitting ane number of cattis‥quhilk vnbesett him, the said Thomas saw ȝour face vpoun ane of [the] cattis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 03:06 PM

I got nuthin ta say... fer now. But if any a youse start up agin, I will. Seriously, I am not in the mood for any guff from anyone.

An hour and a half fer an oil change on accounta they didn't have the right oil filter in stock? Jaysus! Good thing they ain't a pit crew in NASCAR! Even Carquest which you can see from the garage didn't have one. Had to send a mechanic to the dealership to get one. So, I missed a teleconference with an important client.

Don't piss me off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 03:11 PM

I don't piss people off. Amos might, but not me. I'm too humble and self-effacing. Besides, I bleed easily and faint at the sight of my own blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 03:30 PM

I do too but it depends on the amount of blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 04:31 PM

Actually, Rapparee does, in fact, piss people off, but he has learned, as a good bureaucrat, to pretend he never did. THose of us still capable of detecting a modicum of ground truth know otherwise...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 05:19 PM

I grabbed a line in the freezing wind
And held with all my might;
The loyal dogs dug in their paws
And pulled like loyal mates.
And when I could see once more, I saw
I was thirty-nine and eight.
And still the wind!
And still the ice!
And the weight of that frozen sleigh;
But I turned my hand to the helm once more
And mushed, for the next of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 06:24 PM

No Ski-doo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM

Amos prefers to do things the hard way. Shovels snow, cuts his lawn with a pair of scissors, weaves his own cloth after growing his own cotton or flax or wool -- stuff like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 09:34 PM

Why do you persist, Amos, in attempting to overwhelm other people with floods of abstract and not terribly relevant verbosity? And what has it gained you thus far? Cease and desist, good sir, I implore you!


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