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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM
gnu 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 10:08 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 12:27 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 12:36 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 10:26 AM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 11:14 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 11:20 AM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 12:11 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 01:53 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 02:48 PM
Acme 25 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 03:40 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 03:49 PM
gnu 25 Jul 11 - 04:29 PM
Acme 25 Jul 11 - 04:38 PM
gnu 25 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM
gnu 25 Jul 11 - 04:51 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 05:00 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 07:29 PM
gnu 25 Jul 11 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 10:24 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 10:40 PM
GUEST,Angelique Forget 25 Jul 11 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 11:29 PM
GUEST,Angelique Forget 25 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM
Eiseley 26 Jul 11 - 09:14 AM
Amos 26 Jul 11 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 11 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 11 - 10:10 AM
Amos 26 Jul 11 - 10:19 AM
GUEST,Albert Schweitzer 26 Jul 11 - 11:57 AM
Amos 26 Jul 11 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 11 - 01:48 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM

Never mind the picnic-ware, sirrah. The whales do not want left-over shards of plastic in their breeding grounds.

I have a large dive-knife which will serve.

But be so kind as to send along a small--say 39' or so--schooner for ease of access.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM

What?! You want my yacht??? No, it exceeds your requirements. Here's a picture of her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM

Very nice yacht, Rapparee. That's exactly the kind I would go for. How many does it take to crew her?

As for Amos's requirements....do you mean his actual requirements? Or those circumscribed by his imagination? The variance in size between the two resembles the dimensional difference between an ant and an elephant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM

31 and humid yesterday. 21 and a dry breeze here... 11 tonight! 11 at night in July!! Rain and 18 on Tueday and nothin over 25 all week. I am LOVIN IT!

Hey Rap... you don't look very happy on yer boat... while the glum face chum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM

Sir, please read the message as sent, not as your feverish brain imagines it. I said a small schooner like this not a full-rigged square-rigger.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM

But that's all I have, Amos. Sorry.

LH: Do you want me to include in the gunners, powder monkeys, Marines and so on, or just the crew necessary to sail her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM

Well, it would be nice to know all of that, Rapparee. One never knows when one must be required to fight off pirates on the High Seas, after all. Do you carry a contingent of Marines for launching landing operations and seaborne raids? It never hurts to be prepared.

Amos, that is a LOVELY schooner! I applaud your excellent taste. Chongo is hoping to own one of those one day so he can party on the water the way Bogart did back in the day. He figures that if he avoids paying the rent for about the next 10 years, he can afford to make the down payment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM

Here's a nice little boat, Amos. But it's Canadian-built, so you shouldn't trust it too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM

Beauty, eh? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM

Told you I had dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

I once had the raw temerity to write the Canadian government enquiring as to what it would take to buy the Bluenose II. They politely assured me that it would never be for sale, reminding me of the fate of its forebear, the famous Bluenose, driven to her fate at the hands of an American buyer. Ah, nothing ventured AND nothing gained!! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

Uh-huh. Exactly how many of these dibs do you have?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM

Lots of them. I think I got them working in the garden. Sometimes they itch and become all red and puffy, sort of like a mosquito bite, except you can see them moving around just under my skin, like chiggers. Uncomfortable little beasties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:42 PM

You're a brave man, Rap. Most men won't admit to having them dibs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM

I just found that a propane torch with a flame spreader gets rid of 'em right enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 10:00 PM

Rapparree:

If you were to put that square rigger up for a distress sale value of, say, $150,000, you could get me my schooner and still clear one hundred large on the deal. And it would go in a hurry! All you need is the pink slip. You've got the pink slip, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 10:08 PM

Speeding ticket, you mean? Yeah, I got one of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 11:30 PM

No, no, he means your usual undergarment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:27 AM

No, no. Amos, being from SoCal, has a pink slip. I wear what commandos wear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:36 AM

Similar to Aussies and Scots, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:26 AM

THEY pack .45's in shoulder holsters too?

Speaking of Scots, is that little furry thing in front of their kilts REALLY a fur codpiece?

And is the sgian dhu REALLY carried so that a Scot is always ready to perform a bris? Amos told me that all Scots are certified mohels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:14 AM

I think I am beginning to understand what is happening here. Just as LH has a whole series of strangely-garbed dream-critturs to argue with and talk to, so Rapparree, demonstrating his flawless instinct for quality, has elected me as a model for an imaginary playmate he calls Amos. As with all tawdry copies, the actual sterling qualities of the opriginal are lost in the copying process, but I suppose I should accept the flattery. It is hard to disentangle som eof his wilder remarks about the persons he calls Amos without this additional understanding.

I hope that this is not an early warning sign of the onset of some serious condition.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:20 AM

LOL!!! You are so right, Amos. And he is not alone. I too have elected you as a model for an imaginary playmate I call "Amos". As with all copies, however, the actual sterling qualities of the original are sometimes lost or at least a bit distorted in the copying process, but I think you should still accept the flattery, even though it is hard to disentangle some of my wilder remarks about the person I call "Amos" without this additional understanding.

Do you follow me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM

'Deed I do, Master Hawk, 'deed I do. Let us now acknowledge Sir Rapp's subscription to a universe of medioocre copies bereft of the innate sterling virtues of the originals. Sic transit virtuus mundi, I always say. Well, not always. But I said it here, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:11 PM

Nobly put, sir, nobly put.

I was meaning to ask you about the word "sirrah" which you use not infrequently when engaging in verbal fencing with myself and Rapparee. Whence cameth this delightful word and what is its origion, derivation, and exact meaning (if I may wax a bit redundant)? I'm not saying I haven't heard the word before. I have. But I'd like to get your complete exposition on its cultural history and its salient features, if I may.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:53 PM

sirrah

The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology | 1996 | T. F. HOAD | 195 words | © The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology 1996, originally published by Oxford University Press 1996.

sirrah: condescending or contemptuous term of address to men and boys. XVI. Early forms syrra, sirah, also serray, sirry, surry, later (XIX) siree, prob. alt. of late ME. disyll. pronunc. of SIRE.


It is found in generous application in the plays of Wm Shakespeare, and is attested as early as the 1500's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:48 PM

THe addition of the cognate forms allows me to hazard a guess that Rapparee will becom famous one day as "the surry with the fringe on top". Although this may not actually occur, given that this is not a widely known usage to begin with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM

MOM, the dogs want you to stop sweeping and moping the kitchen floor while it's so hot and they're stuck in the house. It's good recreation to sniff and lick spots where any food was dropped.

They say "thank you!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:40 PM

Why is Mom moping on or about the kitchen floor? Can't you cheer her up, maybe play some canasta with her or something? She really likes Seven Card Stud.

My creation "Amos" was fictional to begin with, and I'm seriously tempted to stop thinking about him and then he'll disappear. But that would leave a hole in the creation I call "San Diego" and that would cause the "butterfly effect" and affect all of my creation. Oh, sure, I could prevent that but it's too much trouble.

Aren't you all glad that I don't require you to worship and adore me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:49 PM

More glad than you know! ;-)

As for the disappearance of Amos, Chongo has intimated on several occasions that he thinks that would be a very good idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:29 PM

I heard she prefers Seven Inch Stud and it WOULD cheer her up more than playing cards but that's in her business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:38 PM

The dogs didn't realize that spell check doesn't detect syntax errors. They beg your pardon, and ask MOM not to MOP/no mopping the kitchen floor. Cinnamon found some of that superior cheddar cheese crumbs today and was ecstatic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM

Ecstatic... can you rub the dog with ClingFree to remove the staticÉ.

There goes my keyboard again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:51 PM

?

Shift + control resets it to Anglaise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:00 PM

Ah! But 'ow do you set it to francaise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:29 PM

Spell the word correctly: "Frawnsay" or "Frankkase" depending on where you're from.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:13 PM

Je n'est sais pas la? ? Qu'est-ce qu'il dit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:24 PM

Peut-etre, vous est un fou, eh? Je parle avec muy claridad, mucho machismo. J'etude la belle langue von "Tin-Tin: On A Marche Sur La Lune" et "Le Tresor De Rackham le Rouge" y otros libros. Dunder de Brest! mas Ust. sere tonto!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:40 PM

Tu peut bien lui ignorer, mon copain Gnu--il ne connait son Tin Tin de son Milou. Mille sabords!! Peut-etre il est dans la lune, lui!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Angelique Forget
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:54 PM

Au diable avec tout le vous! Vous êtes des imbéciles! Votre assaut sur la langue française est blessant à moi.

- Angelique


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:29 PM

Bon! Je blesse Angelique. Non, je baise Angelique. Elle n'objet jamais au cette la...ou a les autres. Elle "baise" Le Guarde Republique, le Legion Etranger, et toute la monde. Angelique est une femme du pave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Angelique Forget
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM

Vous êtes un idiot, Rapparee. Vous n'embrasserez jamais mes lèvres. Votre vie est un moron' ; imagination de s. Si vous proposez que je sois une prostituée, alors je propose que vous soyez un cochon.

- Angelique


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 09:14 AM

You do and you'll clean it up!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 09:42 AM

Ah, I fear it is past all cleaning up, this soul of Rapparree.

Angelique has been wronged by his merciless slurs, as have so many others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 09:43 AM

Cher femme du pave,

Je suis un American, et nous avons sauvé France à maintes reprises de les Allegmaines, les Anglais, les Andorrians, des armees du Luxembourg.... Si vous plait, vous avez donnee les "French Letters" et la malaise du "French Pox" a la monde. van Gogh était Belge, merde! même vos ancêtres étaient des L'Allemagne! "France" est une plaisanterie, francaise est une langue batarde des Espanol. Tout les femmes de France, eh, mon oncle visite Paris en la guerre du monde et le dit au moi tout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 10:10 AM

Devant la caserne, quand le jour s'enfuit
La vieille lanterne soudain s'allume e luit
C'est dan ce coi la que le soir
On s'attendait remplis d'espoir
Tous deux, Angelique du pave
Tous deux, Angelique du pave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 10:19 AM

Quel bavard execrable!
Ce type ne comprends rien de l'ame francaise, et je dois me mettre en accord avec Angelique en lui appellant un cochon enorme.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 11:57 AM

Schwein!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 12:14 PM

See, Rapp? Even Albert is down on your anti-francism. Honte soit sur votre tete, old chum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 11 - 01:48 PM

Mais, j'ai les photos de Albert et Angelique in flagrante delicto. Les cartes postale Francaise, si vous voulez.


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