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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 21 May 13 - 10:59 PM
Amos 22 May 13 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 22 May 13 - 10:44 AM
Acme 22 May 13 - 02:00 PM
GUEST 22 May 13 - 07:01 PM
Acme 22 May 13 - 07:04 PM
Amos 22 May 13 - 07:41 PM
Rapparee 22 May 13 - 10:04 PM
Acme 22 May 13 - 11:22 PM
Amos 23 May 13 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 23 May 13 - 11:06 AM
gnu 23 May 13 - 11:37 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 May 13 - 11:40 AM
Acme 23 May 13 - 12:50 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM
Amos 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM
Acme 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM
gnu 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM
Rapparee 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM
Acme 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM
gnu 25 May 13 - 05:15 AM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 10:09 AM
Acme 25 May 13 - 10:39 AM
Amos 25 May 13 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 03:02 PM
gnu 25 May 13 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 25 May 13 - 09:29 PM
gnu 25 May 13 - 10:34 PM
Amos 26 May 13 - 12:04 AM
gnu 26 May 13 - 07:12 AM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:57 AM
gnu 26 May 13 - 12:07 PM
Amos 26 May 13 - 02:45 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 08:21 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 09:05 PM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:29 PM
gnu 26 May 13 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 26 May 13 - 09:51 PM
gnu 27 May 13 - 06:43 AM
Rapparee 27 May 13 - 10:10 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 27 May 13 - 11:13 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:38 AM
Acme 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM
Acme 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM
gnu 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 May 13 - 10:59 PM

On the road to Saint Joe, Moe

For a minute I thought you were headed to California to see Offer. Joe, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 13 - 12:21 AM

Rapp ain't gonna see Saint Joe Offer. It's an offer he has to refuse, on account he would have to be shriven and confessed, and he isn't even gonna START with confessing. It would drive him bats iffen he were to start counting up his sins and trying to take responsibility for 'em.
There has to be honor before Offer, if you see what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 13 - 10:44 AM

You're saying I have to honor the Offer? Or do I have to Offer the honor? If I (figuratively) kill the honor, am I an Offer? Or is your Cockney ancestry dropping your haitches again and you're telling my to be "ornery"?

You have now confused the issue and I wouldl like you to clarify it, in exquisite detail.

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 02:00 PM

47955

Just practicing for the big one coming up . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:01 PM

'S okay. I already have dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:04 PM

I bet that was Rap. He's tossed his cookies again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 13 - 07:41 PM

We don't allow dibses here at Mom's. Especially to nameless skylarks and burrowing anonymice Guests.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 13 - 10:04 PM

That anonymous GUEST was me, as Stilly surmised. I was using Pat's netbook (we now have his and hers netbooks) and she had cleared cookies, etc. recently.

As for Amos' absurd and asinine assertion, I respond thusly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 13 - 11:22 PM

Except that it's Nestle, I can give credit for an ice cream Dibs. I prefer Braums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:02 AM

Confusing an artificial dessert product with a Senior Management Policy at the MOAB Board Of Governators is sooooo Rapparree.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:06 AM

Name the members of this "Board of Directors"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:37 AM

More like Bored.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 May 13 - 11:40 AM

And directionless.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 13 - 12:50 PM

Freewheeling and extemporaneous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 May 13 - 02:20 PM

Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 13 - 07:00 PM

They are, undoubtedly, adipocerous anonymities who wish only to inhibit cultural cut-ups such as we...and Amos leads in that effort because he's a SoCal R*******n. Kin of Carry Nation. A B**hbacker who still laments the demise of the Philadelphia Atheletics and Milwaukee Braves baseball clubs even though he thought "Stan the Man" was a musical and not a Musial.

In this he is added and abetted by Chonga Chimp, who dances daily to the strains of "The Sidewalks of New York" ground out on a barrel orgae while collecting pennies from children as s/he picks their pockets clean of anything not given freely.

"Board of Directors" my...my...something....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 13 - 01:11 AM

Now, you guys really need to learn better readin' skills. I never said anything about a board of directors. We all know Mom would never tol'rate such bidness in her hallowed home. But Governators is a different kinda thing altogether. You don't there's no Governators, how do you think we keep this shenanigan rolling so good? Governators, that's how. Weren't for the Governators, Rapparee woulda thrown a brick into my monitor years back.

As for his confuzzlement about Republicans in SoCal, well, son, you are sadly mistook. Only ones I know in southern Cal are all in Orange County, pretending to be serious. Turrible epidemic up there, of righteous seriosity, and no vaccine anywhere this side of Juneau. Dang shame. I was gonna send my dog Maggie up Nawth to get some and run it down but she said she's been polarized by MSNBC and wouldn't touch it. Besides she had to tune in to Jon Stuart to keep up, ya know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 10:31 AM

If there are no Republicans in SoCal except in Orange County, how do you explain the overwhelming vote in San Diego for Herbert Hoover in the last election? The statistics of the election results don't lie (except in Chicago, where they change as the wind blows).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:53 AM

Immigrants to Southern California. Folks like Amos, that's how.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 13 - 02:43 PM

How can anyone in orange be taken seriously?

I awoke to a serious bloom boom of Mum's apple tree. She's purrrrdy! And that means Hummingbirds! The King Of Birds.

We train squadrons of them in aerial support tactics at the largest ground warefare training base in Her Majesty's Commonwealth, CFB Camp Gagetown, New Brunswick, Canada. Of course, the largest at the moment is ICF Base Afghanistan but that is a temporary base, the life of which is dependent upon funds and the patience of the citizens of the respective participating coalition nations excluding Afghanistan who don't get a say in the matter. At CFB Gagetown, they are taught Hummingbird Warfare... dart in and dart out, in and out, inoutinoutinout. They become a blur. When fully trained, they are sent as far as South America on extended recon which can last up to 8 months every year. They wear the coveted Red Ascot, symbolic of the red Maple Leaf. Next time you see one, SRS, best make sure you are not up to anything suspicious. They are licenced to peck you in the back of the head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 06:14 PM

Hummingbirds: licensed to thrill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 13 - 09:44 PM

While eating dinner at The Rheinland Restaurant in Independence, MO this evening I got to thinking about my Great-Uncle Gearhard. He left the the family home, Schlossschiess, in Upper Lower Saxony to join the Luftwaffe in WWI. After training he achieved the rank of Uberunterfliegenfuehrer and flew a Spaetzel fighter in Baron Manfred von und zu Zum's squadron, the famous Flugspaßhaus. Mustard out in 1916 (because he was a gelbfeige, according to the records) he had already been decorated with the Schweinehundkreuz mit Kranz von Kämmererverlässt and the Medaille für geistlose servicel. All of the family was very proud of him, except of course those who were fighting against Germany. When Hitler came to power that whole side of the family vanished into the wilds of the Hurtsberge and, of course, we lost the schloss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 13 - 11:49 PM

47974

Makes a nice spinner to put out in the garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 05:15 AM

Tuning up for the 48 Grand Prize?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:09 AM

The next TRUE spinner is 60009. It will read the same when rotated on its middle. The last true spinner was 19061...so long ago.

But we are quickly closing in on lots of cool numbers, like 48084 and 50000 and 50005 and other great numbers, all of which I have dibs on. Or, for the pendants out there, "on all of which I have dibs."

(Remember, there's only an "n" as in "noose" between a pedant and a pendant.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:39 AM

You're smearing ice cream on all of those numbers?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 13 - 12:27 PM

Hahaha, you gato!
You going cwazy with gelato!
You make me laugh an' laugh a lot-o,
Oh, you such a cwazy gato!
You belong in the land down under
For putting Dibses on yo' numbahs
You think its cool, you think its svelte
But wait until yo' numbahs melt!
Haha, you cwazy gato!
Quit messing with gelato!
Change yo' ways, change yo' tone,
Make yo'self an ice-crea cone!

Charley Marley, Crazy Gelato Boy from the 1981 smash hit album "Islands in Ice Cream".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 03:02 PM

You mean Gnarly Marley, great-great-grandson of Jacob?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 06:54 PM

A... that would make a great rap tune. You and Jeri should team up. JAaaaa in the house eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 08:20 PM

You know what would make a great rap tune? This:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve;
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

I posted that a few posts back and I still kinda like it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 13 - 09:29 PM

Wrote it, many years back, too.

But I really wanted to announce that I'm taking up a new instrument I've invented. It's called a rahnjo. It looks like banjo but is played with a tippet like a bodrahn as well as strummed or picked like a banjo. It's not an easy instrument to master as you must use the tippet on the strings as well as the other part (mine is catfish skin) and still control it from the back while using the strings up the neck in the usual manner when you are stfrumming and/or using the tippet.

When I first introduced this instrument someone suggested to instead of a tippet I use an axe, but that was from a cranky old musician who was jealous that he didn't think of it first. Right now it's acoustic only, but I hope to have an amplified version out soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 13 - 10:34 PM

Surely... tipper and Rhanjo? As for playing any such, I can. I played a telephone book one kitchen night... after I wore out a cardboard beer box. No shit. I didn't always have a Hran with me but I always had a tipper (custom made by the master... me) in me truck. My specialty was aluminum beer cans. It's a matter of practice. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 13 - 12:04 AM

Don't leave it around, man, or someone will try to jack the Rhipper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 07:12 AM

Heh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:57 AM

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I started with the idea of hammered banjo -- kinda like hammered dulcimer -- but my brother asked to try it and used a sledge hammer. It was on my lap at the time and his vicious assault left bruises and bits of embedded banjo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 12:07 PM

Can't pluck yer string?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 13 - 02:45 PM

String tension has always been an issue at Rapp's place of business...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 08:21 PM

Steel up then. Never nind the cheap stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:05 PM

48K on tha way eh? I got a feelin tonight's gonna be a good dang night!

Draw! And fill the air fulla lead! Y'all already know who my money is ridin on... or should that be whosss"? I'll be back after the gunsmoke clears out. Oh, I got my idea who might sneak and snatch but I'll not taint yer fun with any preeedictions. Have atter eh! May the best... ahhh... bullshitter take the k-Cake and eat it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:29 PM

Well, it's thundderstorming here in Columbia, Misery. Ate for the second night in a row at the Flat Branch Brewery because it didn't appear that any place else was open. Good food and decent beer, but we asked for an inside table (we were on the 'patio') about the time the rain started.

Found several places here whose hours of operation weren't as advertised. Visited Barnes & Noble, however, so the day wasn't a complete loss. Also picked up a book on dueling in Missouri at the historical society museum.

Bloomington, IL tomorrow night and fly home Tuesday; back in my little shack in the Rockies on Wednesday. Big oral surgery, including bone grafting, on June 4. Gots lots to do before that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:46 PM

"Big oral surgery, including bone grafting, on June 4." JAYSUS H! What do ye fellahs down south chaw on what yer always gittin yer choppers worked on?

Whatever. I wish you all the best in such regard. Keep on chewin on eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 13 - 09:51 PM

Tebacky an' gravel, mostly. How do ya think we bust up the ore ta git the gold out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 06:43 AM

Still no k count? I was sure one a youse woulda been at gettin at it all night long if required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 13 - 10:10 AM

I travel, and must surrender my "dibs" because Amos will post repeatedly to achieve it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:13 AM

So...fliphead. I see yer still hangin' arownd here, eh? Like I figgered. I had enuff of yer insluts. You know what I am gonna do now? I am gonna stock you from now on, man. You look over yer sholder and I will BE there! Stockin' you! I will do it until you either flippin' DIE or you apollojize to me for all the bad stuff you ever sayed about me.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:38 AM

I wish you guys would get it over with. The suspense is tense. And none a that wishy-washy ten posts in a row, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM

Oral surgery? You're operating on something with your mouth - you'll talk it to a healthy conclusion? For the recipient it would be aural surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:39 AM

Even two in a row is cheeatin in my books.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM

What the heck . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 May 13 - 11:40 AM

Hehehehe.


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