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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Jul 04 - 01:48 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 Jul 04 - 12:47 PM
GUEST,MMario 26 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM
CarolC 26 Jul 04 - 12:25 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 Jul 04 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM
Acme 26 Jul 04 - 11:38 AM
CarolC 26 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM
Amos 26 Jul 04 - 10:13 AM
MMario 26 Jul 04 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 04 - 09:26 AM
Amos 26 Jul 04 - 08:51 AM
Acme 26 Jul 04 - 12:44 AM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 11:07 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 11:06 PM
Bobert 25 Jul 04 - 11:04 PM
Amos 25 Jul 04 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 06:50 PM
Tweed 25 Jul 04 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 06:40 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:32 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:31 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:31 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:30 PM
Amos 25 Jul 04 - 05:27 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 05:20 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 04:03 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 03:56 PM
Acme 25 Jul 04 - 03:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jul 04 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 02:27 PM
Amos 25 Jul 04 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 02:17 PM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 02:14 PM
Amos 25 Jul 04 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 02:11 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 04 - 02:08 PM
Acme 25 Jul 04 - 12:15 PM
freda underhill 25 Jul 04 - 11:55 AM
CarolC 25 Jul 04 - 11:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 01:48 PM

Shat: past tense of the verb "shit".
-ner: Suffix applied to indicate one who practices a trade; e.g, scrivener.

Therefore, you know what you are.
------------
Dear Madame Boleyn,

Your knowledge of humankind, demonstrated by your quick assessment of a puling and sniveling actor who at his best out-rants Herod and at his worst indeed treads the stage trippingly, is surpassed only by your beauty and wit.
--------------
Now that I have achieved all numbers I no longer need a post boast. I am all numbers, I am the Universe. All is within me, for I am All.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:47 PM

You are wise beyond your years, CarolC. Now you know how I made it so quickly in Hollywood and collected all those royalties and got rich. Fools wait. Smart people claim their spot in the sun well in advance. I have also reserved the 15,000th and the 20,000 posts on this thread and all multiples of 100 on a number of other key Mudcat threads. I did it quietly, of course, without fanfare. I am now well positioned to rake in the rent on those posts when they occur. For instance, el ted owes me several thousand dollars already for posting to spot 100 on a whole bunch of threads.

What a deal, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM

Stilly River Sage -

Sir or Madam - I thank thee for your kind words, which bring peace to my heart - if I should still have a heart which, being unbodied at the present, I misdoubt - but the sentiments remain still valid. I find myself most perplexed in that I but attempted to speak with my daughter and find myself suddenly transported over the expanse of 400 years into a future I find difficult to imagine. My gracious host has assured me that I shall be returned unto my proper era within the sennight so that I miss not my natural span of years in the afterlife. The Weather described in thy missive seems most pleasantly warm - though I recognize not the placenames? This 'Seattle' and 'Texas' mayhaps would be in Ireland?

Anne

post scriptum
william Shatner - sirrah!
    It strikes my sensibilities that thou art a braggert and windbag to make the worst behaved playwright of my day appear the most pious monk! Thou art an offense to the senses in all manner. Would that I were alive that I might order you from my presence and that of all right thinking persons.

Anne


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:25 PM

Wow. So by the Shatner rule of pre-post post allocation, whoever posts on a post you have reserved/claimed for yourself, like in my case, the 5000th post, they are in fact just renting that post from you. Very cool! Somebody's gonna owe me some big bucks alright.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:11 PM

Ka-CHING!!! The 10,000th post, and I've got it.

That's right, baby! Numero 10,000. That's a "1" and four zeros.

Pay no attention to the numbers on your screen, because they don't mean squat. I have just taken the 10,000th post well in advance. I can do this any time I want to because I am a wealthy celebrity who can do anything he wants. In fact...it was easy. I got up this morning and said to myself, "I think it's time to take the 10,000th post on the Mother of all BS threads on that silly Mudcat Cafe Discussion Forum where they idolize me (which shows at least that they are not entirely stupid or without hope of redemption).

It's like renting out a particular motel room. If you want to do it 3 years in advance, no one is going to stop you, are they?

Well, I just took the 10,000th post and that's all that matters.

And there's nothing you can do about it. In particular, there's nothing Amos can do about it. (grin) Amos is one of those people who derives a sense of meaning from attacking public figures such as myself who have made their mark in the world (which he hasn't).

Tear your hair out, Amos. I've got this 10,000th post and there's nothing you can do about it whatsoever. In fact, compared to this post, anything you should decide to post between now and the rest of this thread will be really quite superfluous. This post has it all covered.

I may drop in occasionally to give you all a useful piece of advice or inspiration in between now and the 9,099th post. It depends on how much time I can spare from a full and busy schedule entertaining my adoring fans and writing bestsellers.

Did you read my last one? It's called "Get A Life". Available at all good bookstores and on Amazon.com, so do like it says and order one now.

- William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:04 PM

It was 51 here last night, and it's not supposed to go over 82 today. Unlike Seattle, it's not raining.

Pocatello was noted in a recent book as having the third worst weather in the US. If that's true for a place with four wonderful seasons, the rest of the country must be paradise indeed. The high so far this summer has been in the very low 90s and while we're in a drought, there has been some rain and the wildfire danger has abated somewhat.

Last year at this time over 10,000 acres had burned. This year is less than 200, so far (and so good). This, BTW, is in a county that's bigger than the state of Connecticut (and LOTS bigger if you rolled it out flat).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:38 AM

MMario/Anne, don't lose your head over all of this!

Here are a few more numbers for you: it feels heavenly here in Fort Worth--it was in the 60s last night! It is still in the low-70s now and not expected to get above about 85. Seattle has finally come to Texas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM

We had a cold front pass through here last night. It got all the way down into the upper 80s (F). That must be what did it.

I'd still like someone to please explain this "counting" thing to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 10:13 AM

MM, it was just a typo -- it was "pistol" (figure of speech for male genitals) and "stamina" (endurance in use of same).

Rapaire, all I said was that SRS counts in the normal way. There is a normal way. It is base ten, in one-unit steps. Use your toes. I didn't say there was anything normal about MOAB, I said there was something normal about SRS. VIVE la difference. So I am not going to even begin to go through that contorted flight of fancy of yours, no way, not even for the love of a biker broad.

See, that's the problem with too much relativity. You get totally unhinged and lose all your nouns.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 10:06 AM

waitaminnut! WAIT A MINUTE!

Amos has a pistle AND a Stamen? is this due to living in California? Too much association with snails? Or is it all scurrilious rumour?

I am so confused! It's bad enough time traveling hundreds of years every weekend and I come back to find that MOAB now calculates in multiple bases and suddenly prime numbers have become significant.

Of course I *was* channeling Anne Bolyn at one point this weekend - so who am I to talk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 09:26 AM

"...who counts the normal way...."

"...who counts the normal way...."

Amos, Amos, Amos. This is MOAB. There is nothing "normal" here. There is no one "normal" here. Both SRS and CarolC know that. Were you to "count in the normal way" you'd scare both of them off or to death, whichever came first.

And who are you -- or I -- to say what is "normal"? "Normal" to my computer is couting in binary. "Normal" to my nephew Tony (as distinct from my brother Tony) is in base 17 or something -- we had to give the kid a binary CLOCK, fergawdssake, so he could tell time! "Normal" to the old time Mespotanians or someones was in base 60. "Normal" stifles creativity. "Normal" will turn you into an old, old fogey instead of just the old fogey you are (and even though I am older than you, I am living backwards -- being in Idaho and all -- and so I'm a young old fogey). "Normal" will destroy your sense of uniqueness and hence your self-esteem. That will mean that you will start hanging out in biker bars and jails. As them bikers (and by "bikers" I mean motorcyclists who wear leather jackets with flaming skulls or such painted on them) get their kicks kicking the crap out of your bleeding, broken body your self-esteem will plummet like a rock in a dry oil well. You'll drag your poor, abused body over to your Mercedes while the bikers laugh at you. Your self-esteem now all really shot to hell, you'll grab the AK-47 out of the backseat, click 'er around to rock-n-roll, and blast the hell out of the biker bar and the folks in it. The police will come. You'll be arrested. But since your self-esteem is by now nonexistent, you'll be sent to the Mens Sanus Hospital For Terminally Low Self-Esteem And Abnormal Persons, where you'll spend your days on Thorazine and Ritalin and you nights in ECT-induced comas. Eventually, it'll all be over and you'll be released from your painful and miserable existence and you'll find both peace and yourself living in The Canyon amidst movie stars, the terminally shallow, and the glitterstruck. All because you thought that there was something "normal" about MOAB.

Howdy, Bobert. Welcome. The fatted calf is kilt, and it was danged hard to git that li'l ol' Scottish dress on it, too. You let me know if someone tries to kick you in the nuts and I'll have the Idaho Legion take care of them. Them Legion boys 'n' girls have been wantin' to do a good nut stompin' for some time, but only to folks who deserve it and you ain't one of them. Anybody livin' in West VA has been stomped and kicked enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 08:51 AM

I must add my resonant baritone to the swelling chorus of those welcoming our brother Bobert back to the meandering folds of the MOAB.

And we must needs also celebrate the siting of the rare and wunnerful Blues-Breasted Tweed, as well. Seeing these two artists within a few posts of each other is a once-in-500 opportunity.

Carol, you're upsetting SRS, who counts in the normal way. IS there something you'd like to say to SRS?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:44 AM

This reading is going to get mighty dull if all of you no-a-counts don't stop diddling with the numbers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 11:07 PM

5000th post!

I win!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 11:06 PM

Hey Bobert! Good to see you in here again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 11:04 PM

Hello?....


































Ahhhhh, anyone home???.....




























(Hmmmmm? Ain't no one in here, Bobert!!!....)

Hello?!?....

Hey, ain't no body in here....

Hey??? Like which way to the snail f**kin'??? I hear Saul gonna give that snail a run fir it's money... you all got a camera policy???

(Shoot, Bobert! Yer a nut! Your thought that you were gonna get a nut kickin' if you showed yer face in here. Where'd yopu get that idea?)

Ahhhh, anyone ever hear of the "Rupture"? No, not he "Rapture", thou the two might be the same in some instances...

Ahhhh, when is the main event? And like, ahhhhh, what kinda forepaly is needed when seducing a snail? Ahhhhh, not that I have any interest, mind you. Hey, I'm a married man, dang it!!!! Just crious....

Bobert

p.s. Well, not all that curious, mind you....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 10:41 PM

Dear Gawd, I sure hope my ole sparrin' partner ain't busted nuffink...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM

Call ME "Sciencehead" will he? Well, Amos, all I've got to say to you is


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:50 PM

So are you aiming to get all the way to 5000 today, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:49 PM

Well you've proved it Rapierre. Thar is no dowt in my cashew sized brain anymore...you ar hoplessly insane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:42 PM

And 4104, my Grandmother Clara's old telephone number, is also mine!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:41 PM

And 4,103, the 552nd prime number, is mine! All mine!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 06:40 PM

Congratulations, Carol! 4,101 -- 551st prime number! -- is yours!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:39 PM

My brain hurts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM

Mine!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM

Cube root of 8


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:34 PM

Second prime


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM

SQRT 16


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM

SQRT 25


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:32 PM

SQRT 36


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:32 PM

4th prime number


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:31 PM

SQRT 16 * 2


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:31 PM

3^3


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:30 PM

Shakespeare filed the serial numbers offen Hollingshed and others, I can do the same thing.

Amos believes in imaginary numbers, Carol. That's why his checkbook never balances.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:27 PM

There are logarithms which just occur naturally, Carol, but people like Rapaire insist it is a choice of lifestyle. Sigh.

Rap, I knew that limerick in a form which involved a fairy named Broome, who took a Lesbian up to his room... but the principle is the same.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 05:20 PM

A lonely young snail of Khartoum
Took another snail up to his room,
And all through the night
They had a great fight
About who would do what and to whom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 04:03 PM

Is there even such a thing as a natural logarithm? I always thought logarithms were by definition unnatural.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 03:56 PM

Can they be both at once? Sort of like the gay young man of Khartoum?

I believe they can. Someone should write a poem about it I think.

It also means that when I participate in the Street Arts Festival in Eufaula, AL on Sept. 11, it will be even easier to find where she's hiding out and harass her and her accordion! Ha!

Absolutely! You would be required to come visit us, or we'd have to come pester you. We're right down the road from Eufala. Same highway even.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 03:25 PM

BWL--have you read The World Accordion to Carol?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:58 PM

I am stunned, shocked and flummoxed once again. I had assumed that CarolC had moved back to Columbus after completing her adventures in the wilds of Detroit and other such Michigan places. Now I find she lives in Alabama. And I almost lives in Alabama. I can drive from my house in Florida to the Alabama line in a lot less time than it generally takes to decipher one of Amos's posts. That means that CarolC and I are almost cousins, 'cause if we both lived in Alabama we would be cousins. It's the law.

It also means that when I participate in the Street Arts Festival in Eufaula, AL on Sept. 11, it will be even easier to find where she's hiding out and harass her and her accordion! Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:27 PM

I wanna talk some more about Rhizopus Nigricans! It's a lot more important that snails. It's almost but not quite as neat as talking about rhodophyta.

Did everyone know that Amos was once arrested for committing unnatural logarithms?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:19 PM

Gee, that's interesting, and all, but what does it leave to be discussed?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:17 PM

Can they be both at once? Sort of like the gay young man of Khartoum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:14 PM

I think we should discuss the reproductive habits of snails. They are hermaphroditic, and each individual snail can perform either the male or female function of sexual reproduction as needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:14 PM

The rate of expulsion from the punctured pustule is abating, a very good sign. Prognosis for the rehabilitation of actual-versus-lexical perspective in this case is high, probably attributable to his experience with firearms...I am pleased.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:11 PM

Hey! If Bobert comes and posts here, don't nobody kick him in the nuts, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 02:08 PM

My old botany prof, a Franciscan friar (yes, like in "Romeo and Juliet"), always wanted to see the sexual reproduction of R. Nigricans. Even though some of his samples came from as far away as California, the reproduction was always asexual (which actually doesn't say much for California, does it?). Finally, I sent him some from Korea and lo and behold! he died before it arrived.

Amos thinks square roots are vegetables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 12:15 PM

Watch it when you start throwing around Rhizopus nigricans, Rapaire! It's one we specialize in.

Otherwise known as bread mold.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 11:55 AM

Philosophers have long wondered why socks have this habit of getting lost, and why humans always end up with large collections of unmatched odd socks. One school of thought says that socks are very antisocial creatures, and have a deep sense of rivalry. In particular, two socks of the same design have feelings of loathing towards each other and hence it is nearly impossible to pair them (e.g. a blue sock will usually be found nestling up to a black one, rather than its fellow blue sock)

On the other hand, quantum theorists explain it all by a generalized exclusion principle - it is impossible for two socks to be in the same state, and when it is in danger of happening, one of the socks has to vanish. Indeed the Uncertainty Principle also comes in - the only time you know where a sock is, is when you are wearing it, and hence unable to be sure exactly how fast it is moving. The moment you stop moving and look at your sock, it then starts falling to pieces, changing color, or otherwise becoming indeterminate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jul 04 - 11:54 AM

Yeah, even relativity is relative, right Amos?


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