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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 13 Jul 04 - 04:34 PM
Amos 13 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM
GUEST,MMario 13 Jul 04 - 12:13 PM
Acme 13 Jul 04 - 12:01 PM
Rapparee 13 Jul 04 - 11:20 AM
Amos 13 Jul 04 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 13 Jul 04 - 08:44 AM
Acme 13 Jul 04 - 01:50 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Jul 04 - 01:34 AM
Amos 12 Jul 04 - 11:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 04 - 10:56 PM
Amos 12 Jul 04 - 10:25 PM
Amos 12 Jul 04 - 04:22 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 04 - 03:31 PM
GUEST,MMario 12 Jul 04 - 02:26 PM
Amos 12 Jul 04 - 01:59 PM
Acme 12 Jul 04 - 01:40 PM
Acme 12 Jul 04 - 01:38 PM
freda underhill 12 Jul 04 - 12:01 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jul 04 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 12 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM
Amos 12 Jul 04 - 11:03 AM
GUEST,MMario 12 Jul 04 - 10:50 AM
42 12 Jul 04 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 12 Jul 04 - 09:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jul 04 - 10:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jul 04 - 10:45 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jul 04 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 04 - 11:06 PM
Amos 10 Jul 04 - 04:49 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jul 04 - 10:18 AM
freda underhill 10 Jul 04 - 09:45 AM
Amos 10 Jul 04 - 09:03 AM
42 10 Jul 04 - 07:53 AM
Rustic Rebel 10 Jul 04 - 02:43 AM
Amos 09 Jul 04 - 07:32 PM
freda underhill 09 Jul 04 - 06:45 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 04 - 06:23 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 04 - 05:40 PM
Amos 09 Jul 04 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 04 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 04 - 04:08 PM
Amos 09 Jul 04 - 03:58 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM
Amos 09 Jul 04 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 04 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 04 - 12:15 PM
GUEST,a b patterswine 09 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 04 - 11:01 AM
Little Hawk 09 Jul 04 - 10:59 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 04:34 PM

You think I'm nave navy niave naive?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM

Azure all know perfectly well, this is also a blues site.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 12:13 PM

lets not go down that woad again. Indigo dat way things around here will just fall apart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 12:01 PM

groan!!! (and this is "blue" for a darned good reason!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 11:20 AM

Ah, the bitter sweet memories of a youth so wisely misspent! Nay, nay, Amos, not fantasies, just the reveries of maturity reflecting back upon youth.

"...but a full glass of wine
Brings an old soldier's dreams from afar...."

And how could anyone who has experienced it ever forget Erin's "green isle"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 08:57 AM

Rapaire, Rapaire....calm yourself! You're being quite swept away with your fantasies!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 08:44 AM

I once upon a time tried to use a pick with a guitar. One swing and when the pick hit the guitar the guitar busted into flinders and smithereens. I'll try a shovel the next time.

Copeland. Erin Copeland, Aaron Copeland's wayward granddaughter. THAT was who I was thinking of. She was the one who wrote about Billy the Kid being sweet in an Appalachian spring. She also wrote "Fanfare for the Decidely Uncommon Man" for me after one of our more...interesting...afternoons together. That was in my youth, of course, but now, in my dotage, my hair white with the experiences of a live fully and well led, with a few regrets but too few to mention, knowing full well that my life may have but a few precious hours left to run because I have to go to Boise for the next couple of days, I can pass on what I have learned, the wisdom I have gained by living a goooood life. And I shall, whether you will or no: first, don't try to fill an inside straight and second, never give a sucker...oops, sorry...be kind to everyone, and you will be amply rewarded in the next life and, if you work the scam right, in this one as well.

Ah, Erin Copeland! I can still see your freckles and red braids as we strolled hand in hand in hand that Spring. I can still taste the magic of that first, shy, innocent kiss that so awakened the woman that the girl suddenly became. I still remember you hands clawing at my shirt, still remember trying to explain the scratches on my back to Sister Mary Mary Mary when I returned from that delightful recess so very many years ago. Trying to explain the burning pain I experienced to the doctor. Trying to explain to my mother why I needed all those shots. Trying to find you and get my lunch money back. The Health Department interviews. Regrets, I've had a few, then again, too few to mention. Sigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 01:50 AM

From the helpful hardware catetory: I couldn't muster up a nail long enough to make that kind of music. But I suppose there is a special kind of music implicit with a good screw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 01:34 AM

Stilly. Glad to see your back and not giving me any shit for giving you shit. You are a person of non-giving shit-back-wonderfull.
With that said....

Part Three.
Discovering your body.

If you have or if you will, grow the fingernails on the left side of your body to an uneven amount of length.
When you have perfected an even, un-even amount of growth, use the strong right thumb nail to pluck on the nails of your left hand to produce a sound or song to the preference of your liking.
Be creative in producing a sound unlike any other.
Use your nails to be your guide into the new realm of making music that sooths the unrinquished beast within.
Hear your nail music.
Glide to the dance.
Be the growth of carbonite calcium.
Do the nails in a way you and only you can do the nails.
Discover the nail music within yourself and dance naked on your porch in front of a million stars and your neighbors.
Only you can define the music of discovering your fingernail jamboree.

End-Part Three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:11 PM

Being like an overstuffed codpiece, I expect, is all in the eye of the believer, or codpiece wearer in this case. There are some similarities even I cannot speak to.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 10:56 PM

Is a rigorous chapeau like an overstuffed codpiece? Would it be out of place with lederhosen?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 10:25 PM

De chapeau, mon grise Rappelle!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 04:22 PM

De rigueur, mon chere Rapaire!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 03:31 PM

My family isn't from Ireland. My roots got back to the border of Germany and the Netherlands. If, then, I want to sing an Irish song, do I have to wear lederhosen, wooden shoes, and an Aran sweater?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 02:26 PM

all I get for adds is "support the carter center"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:59 PM

Dunno about you ordinary folksingers, but if you're gonna be singing traditional Irish songs, especially rebellious ones, you need a thick white fisherman's sweater as a credential.

No mistake.

Otherwise, they'll stretch yez fer impersonating an ossifer.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:40 PM

Ah! Tipped the scale! "Wind on the Bay Festival" (Irish wooden flute and American fife training, concerts, and sessions" and
"Irish Clan Aran Sweaters"--find your family's traditional pattern, 500+ clans registered (okay this is for the more gullible who think they need a sweater to be a folk-singer).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:38 PM

. . .and Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie and Leadbelly and Ed McCurdy and the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem and Richard Dyer-Bennet and a few others to see if those links at the bottom will switch from the lottery (as is showing now) to folk topics. . .maybe a few instruments as well--guitar, dulcimer, hammered dulcimer, mountain dulcimer, bagpipes, banjo, piano, drum. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 12:01 PM

..and Judy Collins..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:43 AM

A superb historical analysis of Folk music, Rapaire! Bravo! But you should have had Joan Baez in there too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM

Amos, you badmouthin' the women I used to go out with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:03 AM

Rapaire:

Your view of the history of folk is both surprisingly knowledgeable, and deep.

But I must point out that all your dates are off by a few centuries.

This indicates to me that you are a true American.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 10:50 AM

RAPAIRE! you figment of my imagination - How dare you claim to have created the world - when you are but a bit of undigested beef - a bit of sour gruel!

whataminute - if you are my figment - then your claim to creation is really my claim....

Never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 09:34 AM

well.... I'm discussed ed.
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 09:30 AM

Okay, if you insist.

Folk music is the music of folks. It originated with folks who were sick and tired of listening to reels and quadrilles set to Gregorian chant day in and day out. So the folks threw this music of the court and church over, and tattletales ran to the people who composed it and cried, "The folk are revolting!" and he she or it agreed. But when it was explained, he she or it jumped to his her or its feet in rage and said, "We shall have none of that new folking shit music around here!" and sent the Army and the Navy to cut down those rebels. The Army galloped on their horses into many sessions, house concerts, and festivals, hacking many folk to death with their lances and skewering uncountable bagpipers on their sabers, causing the piobrachs to collapse with a sort of "PHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" sound much akin to that of a dying flautulent horse, while the Navy sailed around looking for what to do. But the folk persisted, mostly because it was persist or listen to Gregorian Chant hoedowns and eventually the Army and the Navy not only found better things to do, they started creating folk songs and folk music themselves and the composers grew wroth, but since they were a bunch of sissies and the Army and the Navy had the sabers, lances, halberds, maces, morning stars, pitchforks, Maxim guns, and gladii, they kept their wroth quiet. After a while, the barriers fell but it took an American composer to write folk music and folk songs into the "Billy the Kid Suite" (unless you count Haydn writing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" into the "Surprise Symphony" which most people don't, since there are few folks who can handle Handel, much less Handel Haydn, unless Handel's hidin'). Then came the great Woody Guthrie and fecund Morris Dancer and Bob Dylan and Buffy St. Marie and Ewan McColl and Pete Seeger and Peterpaul N. Mary and folk songs and music were rampant and ubiquitous. A plague of beatles nearly extinctified folk, but it still continues to be loved and appreciated and sometimes even sung and played by at least six people around the world, of whom I am one. I would also discuss folk dance here, but I don't have the time or will; I can, however, state unequivocally that it derived from the mating ritual of that legendary British animal, the Twobacked Beast.

Note, please, that I have used the four letters F, O, L, and K in that order at least once in every sentence of the above paragraph. It is a complete history of folk music and song and a partial history of folk dance.

Where's my prize?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 10:47 PM

Nope. No Star Trek links. But it did change from lottery to folk music. Like folk music ever gets discussed on this thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 10:45 PM

Jennifer Ladner is a Klingon spy!

Actually, she isn't, but since Amos's lottery post prompted Max/Google's magical click-this-link-and-the-Mudcat-gets-a-penny thingy at the bottom of the page to display a couple of how-to-win-the-lottery links, I just wanted to see if this post would make it display a couple of Star Trek links.

Guess I'll click the "Submit Message" button and find out...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 07:52 PM

Niddly Niddly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 11:06 PM

I think she's been two-timing me under another name.

But it's okay. I'm sleeping in my old box under the highway overpass again. It's cold, wet, and noisy, but the plumbing is nonexistent. That's what you get when you...wait! I'll go sleep in my office! No one need know.

Now, what will I do with my wife? And all this junk?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 04:49 PM

Rapaire:

I am sorry to break this to you, pal, but I have just received the following from a comely lass named Jenny Ladner who clearly has a warm spot in her heart for me.

I am seriously torn because I know how much you were counting on this delightful award. I, on the other hand, was expecting nothing of the sort. So I have decided to give this eail to you, and invite you to follow up with yon Jennifer and acquire the funds for your own purposes, which are generally so much more sterling than my own.

And if someone tells you to be blessed, tell you have already been there, and done that. T-short to follow.


Amos




UK NATIONAL LOTTERY
#32 JACOB HOUSE,
KALE RD,
ERITH,
LONDON, DA18 4BL

REF:   HLP /3379108460037/03
BATCH: 901/00319/HLP
FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION,
RE/AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today 10th of July, 2004, of
winners of the UK Promo Lottery, United Kingdom/International,
PROGRAMS held on Saturday 3rd July 2004.
Your Email address/company is attached to ticket number 9901-0148-790-691,
with serial number 66109-17.
Drew the lucky numbers 6-8-21-25-43-47-16, and consequently won the lottery
in the 3rd category.
You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of £2,248,311 jackpot
prize in cash credited to file REF NO. HLP /3379108460037/03 as one of the 4
tickets which was placed along with your E-mail address. This is from total
prize money of uS$24,100,000.00 shared among the seventeen international
winners in this category.
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from
25,000 names from Australia, Africa, America, Europe, North America and Asia,
as part of International Promotions Program, which is conducted annually.

CONGRATULATIONS!
Your fund is now deposited with a Security company insured in your name. Due
to the mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award
strictly from public notice until your claim has been processed and your
money remitted to your account. This is part of our security protocol to
avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program.We
hope with a part of you prize, you will participate in our end of year high
stakes US$13 Million International Lottery.
To begin your claim, please contact our Foreign Service manager
ATTN: Ken Franklin,
EMAIL ADDRESS: uk.n.lottery@winning.com, for due Processing and remittance of
your prize money to a designated account of your choice. Remember, all prize
money must be claimed not later than 25th of July 2004. After this date, all
funds will be returned as unclaimed.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember
to quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your
correspondences with your agent.
Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your
claims agent as soon as possible.
Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our
promotions program.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Ladner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 10:18 AM

Ha! To my critics I say the same thing I say to Rennie, the miniature dachshund when he raves impotently at me from the peanut gallery...

"Niddly! Niddly!"

That really bugs him. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 09:45 AM

\I"ron*y\, n.[L. ironia, Gr. ? dissimulation, fr. ? a
dissembler in speech, fr. ? to speak; perh. akin to E. word:
cf. F. ironie.]
1. Dissimulation; ignorance feigned for the purpose of
   confounding or provoking an antagonist.

2. A sort of humor, ridicule, or light sarcasm, which adopts
   a mode of speech the meaning of which is contrary to the
   literal sense of the words.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 09:03 AM

Yeah, J's right. But I'd abandon a poem too, if it asked me to rhyme something with "woebegone". To avoid coming up with lines like "Joe!! Be Gone", or "Lo! He gone", or "Oh, the dawn" or even "Mow the lawn!".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 07:53 AM

LH - that 'poem' should be drowned in midstream!

haiku anyone?

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 02:43 AM

These times are but a quiver in my eye, which really shake the tree of the post menapausal dandilion in my salad.
I feel a pulse of life rise like an anurisim of the digestive tract, trying to digest a living, breathing spermicidial.
I can ride the wind like the best of them, I heard murmered when the wind rose around a bunch of Harley Davidson freaks that thought the wind rose faster when they weren't riding.
It was like a ride through south California, to visit an old friend, that wasn't really where he wanted to be at the moment.
He was still out there being free and chanting, "Hare of tho dog bit me", "Hare of the dog in me".
The qulity of the calmness soothed any soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 07:32 PM

...but even done occasionally
It quickly doth grow cold....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:45 PM

Yet each troll kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a posted word,
The obsessive does it endlessly,
until his grave goes cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:23 PM

Say, "Nay, not Ney!" LH!!

Somehow, I can't visual Chester running into the office and sayin' "Marshal Ney! Marshal Ney! Mlle. Kitty fait la can-can dans la saloon Branche Longue."

Besides, he eventually taught school -- in North Carolina, I think they think it was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:40 PM

Across the splendoured field did thunder
Emblazoned with hot pride
The myriad sons of France a-blunder
On! On! with Ney they ride!
Their swords and lances shining
Through cloud and wrack of war
Their winsome maids a-pining
At home thro' days of yore
Straight down the cannon's mouth they ride
Into the gates of Hell they stride
As Wellington in readied square
Gives not his place, but steady stares
Not blinking, he, not woebegone
Not... (oh, damn! I forgot about some chore I have to do!)

Alas, the above poem, which was promising to be just utterly splendid must be abandoned in midstream. Duty calls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:47 PM

My Shatner pillow, sir? I have blended it in a large bowl with diced Koala spoors and a pint of camel urine, which when blended smooth I will chill until firma nd send it to you UPS Express.

Because I conceive that this too will be Art!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:35 PM

What the...fuck???????????????

Amos, I must admit you have me totally baffled and confoozled this time! :-) Still, I appreciate the dedication. At least I think I do.

Have you hugged your Shatner pillow today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:08 PM

Bill and Art, by G-d!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 03:58 PM

Song of the Little Hawk





Am I alone
                                  And unobserved? I am!

                              Then let me own
                                  I'm an aesthetic sham!

                              This air severe
                                  Is but a mere
                                                       Veneer!

                              This cynic smile
                                  Is but a wile
                                                       Of guile!

                              This costume chaste
                                  Is but good taste
                                                       Misplaced!

                                  Let me confess!
          A languid love for lilies does not blight me!
          Lank limbs and haggard cheeks do not delight me!
               I do not care for dirty greens
                     By any means.
                     I do not long for all one sees
                              That's Japanese.
                     I am not fond of uttering platitudes
                              In stained-glass attitudes.
                     In short, my medievalism's affectation,
                     Born of a morbid love of admiration!

If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare,
You must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them
    everywhere.
You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of your complicated
    state of mind.
The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.
                      And everyone will say,
                      As you walk your mystic way,
"If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me,
Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!"

Be eloquent in praise of the very dull old days which have long since passed
    away,
And convince 'em, if you can, that the reign of good Queen Anne was Culture's
    palmiest day.
Of course you will pooh-pooh whatever's fresh and new, and declare it's crude
    and mean,
For Art stopped short in the cultivated court of the Empress Josephine.
                      And everyone will say,
                      As you walk your mystic way,
"If that's not good enough for him which is good enough for me,
Why, what a very cultivated kind of youth this kind of youth must be!"

Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid
    spleen,
An attachment à la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French
    bean!
Though the Philistines may jostle, you will rank as an apostle in the high
    aesthetic band,
If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your medieval hand.
                      And everyone will say,
                      As you walk your flowery way,
"If he's content with a vegetable love which would certainly not suit me,
Why, what a most particularly pure young man this pure young man must be!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM

I would get serious with these mean people, Rapaire. Tell them you are not dealing with them any longer! That should teach them a lesson.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:23 PM

Rapaire:

Yes, these are the True Ass-Faced-People, the ones who don't have budgets for art and who cut banjo strings to boot.

Be mad, be very mnad!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:36 PM

Could these be mean people? The sort that kick puppies and kitties? Could this by why I never have money in the bank anymore and all of my credit cards are maxed out?

If these are mean people I'm going to get very, very mad at them. Vexed, even.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:15 PM

Rapaire - I don't want to shake your world to its very foundations and destroy your faith in humanity, but...

I think there is a slight possibility you will not be receiving those lottery winnings any time soon. There are people out there who tell lies about this sort of thing! I know it's hard to face up to, but you may have been bamboozled. Just a slight chance. Prepare yourself for the worst.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,a b patterswine
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM

There was movement at the Mudcat, for the word had passed around
That the goat from Little Hawk had got away,
And had joined the wild bush goats -- he was worth a thousand bucks,
And Bruce Murdoch wandered over to the fray.
All the tried and noted catters from the countries near and far
Had mustered at the MOAB overnight,
For the catters love hard hunting where the wild bush goatses are,
And the MOAB sniffs the battle with delight.

..2 b continued...

a b patterswine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 11:01 AM

I like that, WWADC. I like it so much that it has prompted my next act!

I received the following email today. Since the folks at UK Lotto have so badly let me down ("A little bit of Lotto left me down" -- there's a song in that) I have sent Mrs. Khalid's address and information to them! AND I've sent their information to her!

Here's her email to her, and gee, I didn't even know her before this!

No: 24A Idrisa Road,
Baghdad.
Republic of Iraq.
Salam
Greetings to you in the name of our Allah i got your e mail through the help of my nurse who scanned the internet and gave me your mail.
I am Mrs Mariam Khalid a devoted muslim,a new muslim convert of 74
years old after being converted from a christian family by my husband.For quite a good number of years now,I have been suffering from cancer of the breast and fibroid of the womb which has for a long time now affected my health and from all indications my condition is deteriorating by day and by my doctor's prediction I have less than six months to live.

My husband who is now late was killed during the US/British attack
against the president of my country (Sadam Hussain).My late husband was a member of the contract award committee of the republican ministry of
petroleum and resources of Iraq under the regime of Sadam Hussein

Throughout the period of my marriage with my husband,all efforts to
bear children proved abortive because of my poor state of health.My
husband was a very wealthy and influential man during the post war Iraq. After his death,I inherited all his wealth since he has no other next of kin.

Since it is now obvious that I may not survive my poor state of health,
I have deemed it necessary to leave a legacy on Earth and give a
positive account and justification of the life I lived on Earth before the Almighty Allah.
This I want to achieve by committing part of this wealth in all
sincerlity to fund , Islamic orphanages,widows and the less priviledge peoples all over the world. I know that afterdeath, I will be with ALLAH the most beneficent and the most merciful.
Please, note that this sum(us$35 Million) was securely deposited in a
security/financial company overseas in my name by my husband . I have
highlighted my attorney on the said sum and all the possible assistance
he would render to you on the documents covering the money so as to
enable you receive it as I cannot follow it up because of my ill
health,this e mail is being written for me by the nurse in my private hospital.Presently, my attorney is in Europe waiting for anybody willing.
I will also issue you a letter of authorization to anable the money be
paid to you.I want you and the Muslim community and all servants of the almighty where you reside to always pray for me .It does not matter your religion or wether i trust you but do actualize my dreams with this money for the sake of the almighty.My happiness is that i lived a life of a true devoted life worthy of emulation.

Lastly, I honestly pray that this money when remitted to you will be
judiciously used for the said purpose and you will take 10% as a
compensation for your assistance in carrying out these humanitarian services.

Whoever wants to serve God must serve him in truth and in fairness.
Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your
reply will give me room to source for another person or a devoted muslim for this same purpose.Until I hear from you, my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders. May the almighty ALLAH continue to bless you

Best regards.
Hajia Mariam Khalid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 10:59 AM

Hey! Great poem, Wall Wuss. Shatneriffic!


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