Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeetta

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM
Amos 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM
CarolC 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM
Tweed 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM
Amos 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM
CarolC 15 Feb 04 - 11:51 PM
Amos 15 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 04 - 01:35 PM
Amos 15 Feb 04 - 10:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 04 - 01:41 AM
Amos 14 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 04 - 07:52 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Feb 04 - 11:17 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 Feb 04 - 11:11 PM
Amos 13 Feb 04 - 02:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 04 - 02:00 PM
Tweed 12 Feb 04 - 01:52 PM
CarolC 12 Feb 04 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 04 - 11:43 AM
Tweed 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM
ToulouseCruise 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 04 - 09:24 AM
ToulouseCruise 12 Feb 04 - 08:35 AM
Rustic Rebel 12 Feb 04 - 05:12 AM
Amos 11 Feb 04 - 11:41 PM
s6k 11 Feb 04 - 06:21 PM
Tweed 11 Feb 04 - 06:19 PM
Rustic Rebel 11 Feb 04 - 06:08 PM
Tweed 11 Feb 04 - 06:08 PM
GUEST,Shlio 11 Feb 04 - 05:31 PM
CarolC 11 Feb 04 - 04:56 PM
s6k 11 Feb 04 - 04:37 PM
ToulouseCruise 11 Feb 04 - 03:36 PM
Tweed 11 Feb 04 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 04 - 03:26 PM
ToulouseCruise 11 Feb 04 - 03:21 PM
s6k 10 Feb 04 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 04 - 03:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 04 - 01:19 PM
Rustic Rebel 10 Feb 04 - 02:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 04 - 01:56 AM
Rustic Rebel 10 Feb 04 - 01:22 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:32 AM

This thread is getting even worse than it used to be. I dropped in hoping to find something more enlightening than discussions on dirty underwear! Pfui! I will come back in 20 or 30 posts from now in hopes that you have all gotten over it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM

HA! Fie on all you naysayers!

We motored to Flagg Ranch in Grand Tetons NP, where we left the car and snowshoed into...no, that's a lie. We left the car and got in a motorized, HEATED snowcoach (sort of an enclosed halftrack, with skis on the front and tracks in the back) and were driven to the Old Faithful Snow Lodge. After a good dinner (they even have wine and good beer) we slept well in a HEATED room (Bequet's caramels on the desk, even) and the next day took a HEATED snowcoach tour of the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone area. We saw bison (LOTS of bison; they walk the roads instead of trudging through 72 inches of snow 'cause they ain't dummies), elk, bald eagles, ilk, coyote, snowmobilers, a couple in the back of the coach who were interested in wild life, and suchlike critters.

We returned to our HEATED room, changed shoes (Sorels are acceptable in the dining room, but any shoes get uncomfortable if you wear 'em long enough), and had a good dinner. We packed, and yesterday left our HEATED room and rode back to Flagg in the HEATED snowcoach. We motored from there to Jackson Hole, where we drove around the perimeter of the National Elk Preserve, bought me a belt, and so back to home.

HA! Fie on you naysayers!! It was in the 20s F., so it wasn't even cold!

(How the heck did BWL play the guitar while handcuffed to a chair?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 04 - 08:57 AM

Now shall the winter of our discontent turn duller silence by the absence of moi, called to the distant deserts of California for a work trip in the field. Farewell, MOAB!! Until I return, with my sword or on it, or whatever.... :>)

If I am lucky berhaps I will encounter the Dakota Ring!!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM

Ouch!!! Morris dancers??? Uncle!!! I give up!!! I quit!!!

Really, Carol, I've been guilty of associating with some pretty lowlife types - banjo players, Ovation players, Taylor players, even accordion players - but NEVER Morris dancers!!!

This is really a new low in the annals of MOABism!!!Congratulations!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:07 PM

That's what he gets for hanging out with Morris Dancers, Mrs. Bee.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM

Hi, folks.

I'm going to tell you all a true story. It's one that Bee-dubya can't tell you himself because he has buried the memory of it too deeply to talk about.

Several years ago there was a bimonthly Sunday afternoon Irish music session at an old house that belongs to the Pensacola Historical Society. The sessions usually attracted a fairly decent number of musicians and on this one particular Sunday afternoon there were a couple of fiddlers, a harpist, a tenor banjo player and three accordion players with Bee-dubya on guitar. The session started out just fine, but after a couple of hours people started leaving for one reason or another. Well, within a period of about thirty minutes, everybody had left except the three accordion players and Bee-dubya. It was then that the trouble began.

One of the accordion players pointed out a window and said, "What's that?" While Bee-dubya was looking out the window another one of the accordion players pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his accordion case and cuffed Bee-dubya to his chair. Bee-dubya looked on in horror as the three accordion players attached their drool and spittle cups to their instruments, buttoned up their shirts all the way to the collars, removed their contact lenses and put on horn-rimmed glasses with lenses as thick as coke bottle bottoms. Then they began to play "Blackthorn Stick" in G while Bee-dubya was forced to listen. "You must play!" they demanded. "We must have rhythm accompaniment! We are accordionists! We have no sense of timing! Play for your freedom!" So, Bee-dubya picked up his Martin and attempted to back up the three of them even though they were each playing in a slightly different variation of totally out-of-time. When Bee-dubya would follow one of them he'd get thrown off because the other two were playing off in some alternate universe where the accented notes on jigs fall on the second and sixth beats.

Finally, it got toward dusk and the accordion players had to go home before their mothers started worrying about them. They removed their drool cups, unbuttoned their shirt collars, put their contacts back in and became doctors, lawyers and accountants again. They uncuffed Bee-dubya from his chair, said their goodbyes, got in their BMW's and headed for home. Poor Bee-dubya couldn't move for about an hour, but he finally was able to make it to his truck and headed toward home.

It was while driving home that Bee-dubya remembered the stories he had heard told by the caretaker at the old house where the session had been held. It was widely believed that the house was haunted and that the ghost of a little girl could sometimes be seen standing among the azalea bushes. Bee-dubya became convinced that the only explanation for the transformation he had seen take place among the three accordion players was some kind of demonic possession or other supernatural phenomenon. Bee-dubya refused to go back to the session after that and it soon fell apart due to lack of a decent rhythm section.

This is a true story and if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Mrs. Bee


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:40 PM

Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya an Ah tole ya, BWL... stand by fer reaming!! LOL!!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 01:18 PM

You got most of it right Bee-dubya-accordion-hater, but we don't channel Lawrence Welk, we burn his effigy. And we don't play Pachelbel's Canon, we play Finnish waltzes. And we don't need the drool cups because, unlike stringed instrument players, we don't drool. Don't need the bubble blowing machine either. We use stringed instrument players for that.

I can't tell you any more than that or I'll have to (you know what).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:59 PM

What sort of a weird accordion-playin' cult do you belong to, CarolC, that plays neither polkas nor "Lady of Spain"? Do ya'll have monthly gatherings in Spanish moss laden oak groves where you play "Pachobel's Canon" around bonfires built from pre-war Martins while filling the custom-made Sterling silver drool cups mounted onto your Hohners and Saltarellis? Are ya'll nekkid while this accordion debauchery is goin' on? Is there a bubble-blowin' machine? Does somebody go into a trance and start channeling the ghost of Lawrence Welk? Just curious....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:22 PM

Yeah but that'sd accordion music, and Spaw plays possum-holes! Even jugbands don't do Lady of Spain, and they are plumb musical compared to possunholes!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 11:04 AM

Couldn't have been me, Tweed, I don't know "Lady of Spain". But Spaw's always talking about how much he loves LoS, so maybe it was him trying to contact you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM

CarolC, laist nite I woke up in a cold sweat and wif "Lady obv Spane" playin' over and over agin in my head. Are you tryin' to contack me wif som sorta pyscokhnaneisis, or iz this only a phaze I am goin' thru?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 04 - 12:12 AM

Ohhhh Beee DUBYA -- NOW YER FOR IT!! YOU HAVE INCURRED THE WRATH OF THE CRAPPER QUEEN!! A woman of world renown who could stop the pipes of the Queen Mary with a single twitch of an eyebrow!! Not someone to mess with, especially at your age. I'm tellin' ya there ain't enough prunes in California to patch you up when you cross the wrath of CTCQ! You most always end up most irregular! Start listening for them accordion solos in your dreams, good buddy!! Wake up screaming!! Don't say I didn't warn ya!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 11:51 PM

I think it's time for you to be afraid, Bee-dubya-accordion-hater.

Do you watch any television these days? Accordions are everywhere. Almost all television commercials have them playing in the background now, and quite a few television shows have them in the background as well. And, of course, the accordion is already well established as a folk instrument. It's only a matter of time before we accordionists TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

...and then we'll make whatever measly instruments you play illegal... muahahahahah...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:58 PM

LOL!! You are an incorrigible reprobate and a minicephalic octopod to boot. Fie!! Your apology is disingenuous and misleading!! Pshaw!! Pfui!! My rapier cuts your wind!!...um....well, never mind that, but you get the idea...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:35 PM

Okay, Amos. I'll admit that one of the ten points of comparison I made between accordions and dirty underwear is invalid. Please delete item #4 and substitute:

It is much easier to install a drool cup on an accordion than on a pair of dirty underwear.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 10:41 AM

What I want to know is when is BWL going to apologize for his scurrilous association of accordions with fouled undies?? That is really sub-par, and must be answered for!! My rapier whips the wind in ravenous expectation, sir!!

Methinks your attention is so fixed on dirty boxers that you must, yourself, have treadmarks in your spotted past. Nothing but guilt could account for so obsessive a fixation on underwear begrimed; whether for sins committed or merely wrongful accusations from an equally obsessed grandparent, there is no telling.

But in the fresh open air of this forum, no guilt need   prevail! Only ask, and all shall be forgiven!! Your only burden is to disavow this onerous and misleading tie between a fine upstanding instrument and an embarrassing history of social errors and laundry-making. Say it ain't so, Brother Dub, I implore you -- step forth and be cleansed of your madness!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 04 - 01:41 AM

Yellowstone in the dead of winter, huh? That'll clean your mind better than a whole bar of Psyche Soap.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 04 - 11:00 AM

Ma'am, I had forgot, but I am hastily setting out anonce to rectify my omission. I am covered in confuzzlement, for truth, as it has been so long since a comely lass has requested that I supply her an inside clue that I scarcely remember the correct position, but it will come to me.

Fargo...how far a go is it, anyway?...here we come!

Meanwhile, Rapaire, best of bold adventures in the Frozen North, although I do think going to Yellowstone in February is something that could only appeal to someone in North Dakota!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 04 - 07:52 AM

In but one short hour or so I shall no longer post to this thread. Or any other one. Until Monday, February 16, when I shall return, because by then you will have either missed my dripping pearls of wisdom and be begging for them with slobber slobbering down your jowls or will not have suffered enough for your sins to be completely remitted. For I go forth out into the cold, into the snow, into the frigid temperatures, yea, though I snowcoach through the mountains of Yellowstone National Park I shall fear no neither evil nor good for my bottle is with me.

Eat your hearts out! Yellowstone, Old Faithful Snow Lodge, snowcoach tours of the park, geysers, mountains, bison, elk, moose, young things cavorting in the heated pools.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:17 PM

Now, damn it, that's not why I even came in here tonight. I came in here to say....
Amos are you almost here with your dancing shoes? Tomorrow I venture in to Fargo, and if I am appointed the North decoder ring bearer, I have to have an inside clue before midnight.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:11 PM

I believe I have once again made my underwear dirty from your post Bee-D. Damn if that didn't bust a tube. Amos, how did you possibly think you could come in with your limber humor after we just got done wettin' our pants over Bee's? Do you want us all to lose bladder function all over, twice, pants still un-absorbing the Bee's undie masquerade party? Oh brother's of MOAB, I can't go on like this wetting panties,especially when I don't even wear them.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 02:16 PM

Beg to differ, sir!! Accordions are the proud legacy of Romulus and Remus, the wolf-sucklings of ancient Rome, and the Muses of Paris; accordions are the symbols of a proud heritage of fine music in streets, coming out of windows in springtime, echoing down subway and Metro tunnels, moving souls of all sizes in city fairs and block parties, country weddings, beer halls and gardens all across Europe. I defend them as instruments of fine grace and beauty, challenging to learn but more rewarding by far than a penny whistle or sweet potato or Jew's harp or moonshine jug.

Fie on your analogies!! They are corrupt!! Here's a toast to fine accordion music and fair accordion musicians of all shapes and sizes from Everywhere!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 04 - 02:00 PM

The principle differences and similarities between accordions and dirty underwear:

1) They both stink, but you can wash underwear.

2) Perverts collect dirty underwear. Only sick disgusting people collect accordions.

3) Dirty underwear are only offensive to those within smelling range. Accordions are offensive to anyone within hundreds of yards.

4) I would much rather play backup for three fiddlers wearing dirty underwear than three accordion players wearing clean underwear.

5) If you are wearing dirty underwear, you can blame the smell on the dog farting. If you are playing the accordion you can blame the sound on the dog farting.

6) If you throw a pair of really dirty underwear against the refrigerator, they'll stick. If you throw an accordion against the refrigerator, it'll probably just dent the regrigerator.

7) It is much easier to get dirty underwear out of the crack of your butt than it is to get an accordion out of the crack of your butt.

8) Dirty underwear and accordions are both extremely cheesey.

9) If you're wearing dirty underwear in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 10%. If you're playing an accordion in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 0%.

10) Pawn shops are full of accordions, but not dirty underwear. Why? Because most people would rather have dirty underwear than an accordion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 01:52 PM

Even I wold diztane from speaking obv such things wif the Crapper Queen, O,CarolC. RawPair habv substantiamated the squeeze box for my undergarbles and thet iz mos disquietin' revolution, to my cashew sized brain, at least.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 12:36 PM

Was Tweed talking to me about his underwear Rapaire? My mind must have blocked that out. Too something or other to contemplate I guess. My brain must have substituted "accordion" for "underwear" to protect my delicate synapses. Or sensibilities. Whichever of those two I've got... if any.

(Pssst, Toulouse Cruise... only if it damages the karma. Like the time when we hit the instant flying deerma. Did you see the pictures?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 11:43 AM

TC, if you have entered MOAB you are already brain-dead. The other will follow shortly, but not until you have suffered more -- lots more.

And, by the way, MOAB has its very own newspaper and/or magazine.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM

Dang! 31 maidens wif four day old thong scent....I am gonna need to jump in the creek an' cool off after that image Rustic. I will try an set up the Kodak on a stump er sumpthin an fire my haif obv this bargin off to you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:28 AM

Rapaire - My mistake. Apparently I was due for an immediate death, wasn't I? How can I tell if I am still alive, or if I have truly shuffled off of this mortal coil?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:24 AM

CarolC, I have it on good authority that the Tweedster doesn't WEAR undies, not matter what he says. He can't afford 'em. He said "boxers" which I assume to mean either pugilists or dogs or both. He's leading you on.

TC, I said "immediate death", not "instant death." You don't have to add anything for immediate death. I'd describe death from systemic hypermanuria, but I can't because of the horror! the horror!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 08:35 AM

Rustic.. I was going to email you in support of your cause, but the email didn't work. Mind you, I may have mistyped something, as since my eyes are still sore from the entire reading the entire blooody thing incident. Or maybe it was the missing .com that I am not intelligent enough to notice.

(Psst CarolC - Would a case of instant karma running over an instant dogma be an instance of cosmic catastrophe?)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:12 AM

Right on Amos, you got that right!

Hey Tweedster, I'll make you a deal. I'll take a photo of me with greasy, cockroach, steak fat, drippin' hair, as long as your in it with me. Your wearing 92 day old, making your butt hurt, keeping your friends at a distance, wished you would have changed your underwear 91 days ago, grin, and playing your accordian to 31 younger than you, pretty maidens wearing 4 day underwear and fanning their scent toward you. If you agree to that and can make it happen, e-mail me at..youmakemelaughsohardiwetmypantsandwon'tchangethemonaccountoftheprincipleofthings@hahaha.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:41 PM

Good on ya, RR -- don'tcha go buyin' no wooden boxers even from Mayor Tweed his own self. Nor any others either! :>))

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:21 PM

Death to the anti - shatner !!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:19 PM

Well, Rustic, I will just habv to keep on warin' the things in thet case. If you change yore mind fore they are gone completely, let me know and I will pack em in sand or something and send them to you. You habv steaks upon occasion? I ain't had a good piece obv side meat in I don't know how long. Send me a pitcher and some ob thet warshboard~grease so I kin keep it in my mind.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:08 PM

Tweed I've been thinking about you lately and hell no I'm not washing out your shorts.
My washboard is used for more practical things like, putting pretty lines on my steaks, when I throw it on the grill (also keeps the grease from the food), or cockroach races, each roach has to follow the rules though and stay in their own crevice, if they don't they get thrown on the grill, or when you get the board full of grease and cockroaches you can melt it a little by throwing it on the grill and get your head down to it and scrub your hair right in that grease and cockroach stuff . Perfect blend of oil and protein for dry hair.
Course, you can always play music with it, but scrubbin' your shorts? Hell no...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:08 PM

Yaz, CarolC, it iz a groop I yam mos proud obv. They are deranged but somehow habv foun thar way home. If you look close you'll see the Pote Lariat, BeeDubs, and obv corse the elusive insaniac King Kharnag mingling easily amongst the rest of them. Also obv note iz the spare straitjacket hanging from the porch eave in case anybody gets chilly. I hed hope thet the Blueslady would stick your nekkid accordian promo pic somewhar but it iz a summat racy vision and would git them peoples worked up a bit...an' thar is only the one straitjacket obv cors..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 05:31 PM

Well done ToulouseCruise - and I thought I was the only one crazy enough to do that.

s6k? What does "meh" mean anyway? All I've found out about you from what you've said is that you say "meh" a lot, like shatner and send lots of silent posts...
Feel like giving an opinion on the MOAB mission?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 04:56 PM

Nice looking crew there, Tweed. Where's your outhouse, and who've you got in it?

(Pssst... ToulouseCruise... you forgot about instant karma. No water.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 04:37 PM

meh


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:36 PM

Thanks Rapaire, that is highly comforting to know what this is calle... wait a minute, whaddya mean, instant death?!? I happen to know that water must be added before instant things happen, like instant coffee, which tastes horrendous especially if you only have that powdered sweetener junk instead of top quality... umm.. okay, I forget where I was.

Time to jump in the shower for a minute, be right AAAAAAAARGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(hehe, kidding. It was an instant shower, didn't add water yet.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:34 PM

Rustic, I habv some boxers in bad need of some attention. Kin I UPS them up thar to you? Pound them wif rocks as much as you like, but hold the starch ef you would.
Can't leave you all alone for long, the Holy MOAB nearly fell off the edge.
What a motley crew obv misfits. NOT!!
Now THIS is a motley crew of misfits!
Tweed's Blues Associated Misfits, Miscreants, and Cripples


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:26 PM

That'll teach ya! Dude named Oedipus, Greek chappy, did much the same thing a little while back, and you know what happened to him.

It's called in medical circles "BS Syndrome" or refered to by its initials, "BS". In lay language it's called "Systemic Hypermanuria." The first symptom is aching eyes. The next symptom is immediate and horrible death.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:21 PM

this is the first time I have looked at this thread. I started looking at it Feb 8th and have read non-stop since then to get to this point.

My eyes hurt. It feels like I had them washed out with Psyche Soap.

Mommy? is that you?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: s6k
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 04:39 PM


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 03:39 PM

Thanks, Bee-dub, but I don't need polish. My spirit shines so brightly that it blinds itself. It is a guiding beacon for all for all ages, a pharos guiding the lost ships to safe harbor (harbour for English, etc. ships). Indeed, polishing it would only dull it, since there ain't nothing like what I got. Look to the northwest! Do you see that incandescent glow? That's my spirit.

Thought you'd like to know before you became frightened and thought it might be a comet.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:19 PM

Forty-two bars of Psyche Soap? I believe you're confusing Psyche Soap with either Karma Kleaner or Dogma Detergent. One bar of Psyche Soap should last for years unless you really want to find out what it's like to have the mind of a slab of granite. Karma Kleaner, on the other hand, can be used often as you like. And, of course, Dogma Detergent should be used three or four times a day.

We do have a special Valentine's Day giftpack of a can of Spiritual Polish, a bar of Psyche Soap, a tube of Karma Kleaner and a bottle of Dogma Detergent all wrapped up in a nice heart-shaped box. Just between you and me though, sales aren't gong too well and if you can wait until Sunday they'll probably be marked down to half-price.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 02:30 AM

I'll take 42 bars of that psyche soap, just 'cuz I like the number 42. It really has nothing to do with needing 42 bars of soap to spiritually polish my spirit that needs 42 bars of polish to spirit my psyche.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:56 AM

SPECIAL SALE!!!

Buy one economy-size can of Spritual Polish
and get a free bar of Psyche Soap!


Limited time offer for MOABites only. Limit one per customer. No dealers, please.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:22 AM

Smell farters are my friends. I long to see them pants clean, for them stains brown are in my laundry everyday.

What? the hell she talkin' 'bout?......

I talkin' 'bout the new stains that have appeared ever since Rapaire warned us of the end 'o time that we know it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 21 September 12:55 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.