Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafehuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rustic Rebel 13 Aug 03 - 12:14 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Aug 03 - 12:07 AM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 11:44 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Aug 03 - 11:30 PM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 05:19 PM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 02:33 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM
GUEST 12 Aug 03 - 11:10 AM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 10:59 AM
GUEST,MMario 12 Aug 03 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 03 - 11:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 03 - 11:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 03 - 11:15 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 11 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 03 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 03 - 06:55 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Aug 03 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 03 - 03:54 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Aug 03 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 03 - 03:16 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Aug 03 - 03:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 03 - 02:45 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 03 - 03:52 PM
Amos 10 Aug 03 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Debbie Earl 10 Aug 03 - 11:25 AM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 09 Aug 03 - 11:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Aug 03 - 10:24 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 08 Aug 03 - 08:42 PM
GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86) 08 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Aug 03 - 11:32 AM
GUEST,Debbie Earl 08 Aug 03 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 08 Aug 03 - 08:50 AM
GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86) 08 Aug 03 - 01:09 AM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge (en route) 08 Aug 03 - 12:58 AM
Amos 08 Aug 03 - 12:51 AM
Tweed 08 Aug 03 - 12:18 AM
GUEST,Debbie Earl 07 Aug 03 - 09:46 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 03 - 07:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Aug 03 - 06:22 PM
GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86) 07 Aug 03 - 05:16 PM
Amos 06 Aug 03 - 10:53 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 03 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 06 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Aug 03 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,Emily Dickinson (1830–86) 06 Aug 03 - 02:44 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:14 AM

Oh hell, I want to take that back. All those photos would do is make me horny, not necessarily re-enthused. Than again...
Well shit Amos, now you made me all confused.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:07 AM

Quite right Amos, I must find a way to get re-enthused quickly. Seeing those pictures of Bee-Dubya-ell getting it on with a mutant polyprobiscus and a labridor retriever might just do it!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:44 PM

Steady down there, RR -- you're just losing some of your initial enthusiasm. Happens to the best of us in due course! :>)


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:30 PM

Is ilk something that's pumped out of a ows its?

Bee-dubya, will you please take a camera with on your adventure to Bubba-Bubba land? I would really like to see that interaction on film.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the ows its are becoming increasingly sore pumping all that ilk...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 10:35 PM

Don't be too hard on those ilk. Some of my best friends are ilk!! They don't know they're being conned.

Clever how they disguised those propellors as a wind farm, huh?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM

Lots of folks around here go ilk hunting every Fall.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM

If we could just do something about that blasted ilk! I have heard that the common ilk can be lured into a trap if you bait it with a mixture of honey and cornchips. I should think a deadfall trap (covered-over pit with sharpened stakes in the floor) might serve to put an end to the ilk once and for all. Then the Cognoscienti (or however the hell you spell it) would be on their own and much more vulnerable.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 05:19 PM

And while you are busily congratulating yourselves, the Cognescentii and their ilk are busily working to change the very orbit of the Earth!! They are selecting places on the planet where a slight push will force the Earth into a new orbit which is lower relative to the sun, raising temperatures until only they and their air-conditioned minions remain! At this very moment their plot is complete on Ascension Island and all too soon they will activate these giant propellors and push the Earth out of its orbit! Because they want the immeasurable resources found on the Moon!

Please, try to stop this.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:33 PM

Oh, inspired, inspired!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM

Thank you, GUEST! That may just be the most inspired piece of writing I have ever done.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM

Well, Mario, I hate like hell to brag, but, well.... Anyway, she's happy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:10 AM

Dr.Evil and whasshisname


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 10:59 AM

Impressive, impressive...

Are you aware of the atomic-powered dildo with which Dr Evil once menaced Captain Kirk, only to be foiled by swift action taken by Kirk and Spock?

It's somewhere way back in the Mudcat postings a year or two ago, but I really don't know how to find it...

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 09:20 AM

JAYZUS! With equiptment like that someone could service the Incredible 50 Foot Woman!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM

Simple, LH, when one has the right equipment.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 11:52 PM

I am wracking my brains to figure out how you found out about that meeting, Rapaire. All I can say is...you're in BIG trouble now, lad!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 11:37 PM

Oh, BB, whar 'n when iz you wantin' t' do this matin' ritchual? If it's gonna be too far away Ah'll need sum new tars fer mah ole truck afore Ah kin mek th' trip. You gotta few bucks you cud loan me?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 11:15 PM

Well, aw-ight, Bubba Bubba. Ah kin deal wif you an' khandu an' a Laberdor. Jus' az long az ya don' have inny ideers 'bout incloodin' Tweed or Bobert in this liddle group grope yer plannin' here. Dawgs iz one thang, 'n aliens iz a'nuther thang, 'n khandu Ah gess Ah'll jus' have t' put up wif. But Ah ain't gettin nekkid nowheres near Tweed! Ah dun see'd pitchers of Tweed in heat an' it ain't a purdy site. An' I ain't perticipatin' in inny reperductive 'speerments thet involves genes from Wes' Verginny!

Oh, BB, Ah cain't fin' no haw surip 'roun' here. Will Alabama cane surip do?

Bubba-dubya-ell


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 10:28 PM

Why, bee-dubya-ell honey, I think that it's so cute that you want ta know what sort of fun awaits you. 'Course I had you in mind when I was writin' that li'l ol' message to Debbie Earl, who we don't need atall to make us a nice li'l ol' clutch of younguns, you know. Shucks, you're about the most carin' ol' soul I've met since DE an me left fer this here li'l ol' planet. Now, I got the Labrador Retriever, an' iffen you will just get ol' Khandu we kin git started, since we won't be needin' the R. Nigricans until later, and then just fer seasonings so things won't taste so bland and all. Now one thing, bee -- I kin call you bee, can't I, seein's as how we're gonna be so close an all? -- I've developed a real taste fer that there haw syrup, so iffen you could sort of smear it on yourself afforehand, I sure would appreciate it. And maybe on Khandu, too? And maybe some tabasco too?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 07:40 PM

I also would like to know about Khandu, Bee-Dubya and the Labrador Retriever. Exactly what is a Labrador and why should there be a special breed of dogs just to retrieve them? Do they get lost that easily? Are Labradors related to Humidors? Or maybe Screendors or Slindinglassdors?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 06:55 PM

Gentlemen do not divulge the names of ladies who live in bottles.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 04:00 PM

Lucky for us (and all the rest of the world!), that your nose isn't longer or you might have smothered there in the Forbidden Swamp!

But you've never mentioned before that you knew Pearl and Dawn! Small world...


Did you ever find out who the anonymous woman in the bottle was though?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 03:54 PM

Well, Mario, it wasn't easy. Took me long nights peering by candlelight at the tiny handwriting of long-dead monks. Many days of travel through the dust and sand of the Gobi, seeking out long-lost manuscripts. Evenings of danger, fraught with Peril. Many's the time I've seen Dawn peeking over the mountains, calling me to go on even though my body, racked by weariness and fever, would feign rest. Driving a canoe headlong into a typhoon, making for the lost island of Tir na nOg and the Ms. found in a bottle there. Mushing through the whiteout of a Yukon blizzard. Crawling through the mud of the trenches while the shells of the Treacherous Hun burst around me. Standing nose-deep in the Forbidden Swamp of Bloog, afraid to move as the headhunting Jivaro searched for me. Nope, it wasn't easy at all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 03:35 PM

aha! I believe you have discovered their plot! But how did you decode their cleverly disguised master plan?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 03:16 PM

I wondered the same thing and explored it. Here's what I found:

It's a plot. It's a plot directed against our currency. The Council of Seven, in league with Moloch, the Giant Squid, Little Hawk, and the Sons of the Pioneers met some years ago in the White House Rose Garden and determined that gasoline prices in the US would reflect an additional nine-tenths of a cent over then actual cost. This nine-tenths of a cent is skimmed off and used to purchase Certain Glands from people in Third World Countries; these glands are used to keep the Cogniscentii young and sexually active. Woody Allen, for instance, is really 117.

But I digress. By implanting these glands and using their secretions, the Cogniscentii (who are all related and which family dates back to before the Dark Ages) intend to ally themselves with Martians who will be invading on August 24th. The nine-tenths of a cent will be used to bribe underpaid US Marines, who will then direct their fire into the mob outside of the Hermitage before the Cossacks ride the people down.

The nine-tenths of a cent been divided, too, and one-tenth of the nine-tenths is stored in old thorium mines under the federal prison at Lake Watahachee. This is in gold, so it's not only too heavy to steal, it's also radioactive (from the thorium).

Everything should now be clear. If it's not, it's all clearly explained here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 03:04 PM

suppossedly it's psychlogically makes customers feel they are paying less. though you do occassionally see gas priced with a 1.xx.7 rather then .9

I even recently saw a 1.58.3

But what I really want to know is about Khandu, Bee-Dubya and the Labrador Retriever - and of course the R. Nigracans Will they truly help Bubba-Bubba create freds?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 03 - 02:45 PM

Okay, back to genuine unadulterated BS....

Why do U.S. gasoline retailers uniformly price their product $X.XX.9 per gallon? What's the .9¢ about? Why not just price it in even cents? I'm sure there was a time when the fraction of a cent was meaningful. When gas was cheap, like 20¢ per gallon, the difference between 19.4¢ and 19.9¢ was a big deal. If you filled up a car with a ten gallon tank the difference would be 5¢ which was enough to buy a Nehi or an RC Cola. But when it's around $1.50 a gallon who cares about fractionsof a cent? Why do they even bother with having the tenths-of-a-cent column on the pump any more?

Anyway, there is absolutely no deviation from the .9¢ rule. Nobody prices their product $1.49.2 any more. It's all $1.49.9. It's not like "The store down the street has $1.50 even on their gas so I'll price mine $1.49.9 so it'll look cheaper." Every store I've ever been to in any state in the union has invariably had prices that ended in .9¢.   

If I fill up a vehicle with a 20 gallon tank, the difference between , say, $1.49.9 per gallon and an even $1.50 per gallon amounts to 2¢ per fillup. If I fill up once a week, that amounts to about a buck a year. Big deal! Wouldn't it be easier for everybody involved to just price the stuff in even cents? I don't mind losing that $1.00 per year if it would make life simpler for thousands of people.

Bruce


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 03 - 03:52 PM

I couldn't have said it better myself, Amos. This thread is Everythread. It is the heart and soul of all that is Mudcat Cafe. Those who avoid it are unwittingly depriving themselves of a treasure-house of Mudcat lore that is probably unrivalled.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 03 - 11:39 AM

It cannot be gainsaid -- no matter what those above the line say about it, THIS is where the real spirit of the Mudcat is to be found!! Right here on the MOAB. I say we owe a vote of thanks to those early adopters who realized that back in history (posts 1 to, say, 150) and persevered to reach their vision and defend the truth.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Debbie Earl
Date: 10 Aug 03 - 11:25 AM

i seen you miz penylopy an now that i no wher yu liv twilinsget i wil cum fur yu an mak yu mind an saf yu frum winson an thos guys. we don need Bubba Bubba too hach our chilrin nether jes sum putasium permanganat but i no yu don care if yur botum gets all brown frum it as long as the hachlings are helthy.

i'm cumin' to yu miz penylopy, an cept fer that gurl in the nashvil truk stop an that goat in arcandsaw iv ben faithful to or lov mostly.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 11:52 PM

You have a point there, BWL...(rather like the one which I suspect may be found at the apogee of your skull, but I digress). Yes, I am aware that Cro-Magnon man was quite advanced and Neanderthals have a reputation for having been shorter and more primitive. I was being rhetorical. If you prefer to be referred to as a slack-jawed Neanderthal, I will be most happy to amend my previous statement.

Now, sir, I will have you know that it is quite inconceivable that a Rutledge, any Rutledge, would be in "total ignorance of human evolution". You are engaging in hyperbole and casting aspersions on a fine family, and were you within range I would be tempted to smack your silly face for it. However, this is the Internet, I must remember, a place which knows little decorum or respect for tradition.

As for "neurotic, agoraphobic, undersexed spinsters who spend their entire lives in prisons of their own making"...well, my goodness, I believe you have described half the cat owners in Twillingsgate, most of whom I am rather well acquainted with through my work protecting animals! Devastating description, sir. I am amused and impressed at your sagacity on this matter. You err in possibly one respect...I think these ladies are generally not exactly undersexed but rather overinhibitied or simply quite unattractive. That doesn't stop them from devouring trashy romance novels or poetry and engaging in lurid fantasy and gossip, I assure you.

However, I am not one of them. I have at least 2 decades ahead of me before anyone could accuse me of spinsterhood, and I expect I shall find a suitable spouse sometime in that period...though, God knows, they aren't easy to find! Most of the men around here are spineless degenerates and pompous fools.

Winston has loads of spine, but he's a moral degenerate in any case, a libertine with the compassion of a moray eel. As for Mr Buggeroll, he is lower than a snake. You might be interested to know that he has brought a countersuit against Winston, as have the Hoarsbottoms. It's a tremendous legal fiasco, and is enriching the lawyers of Twillingsgate beyond their wildest dreams. I did manage to rescue that wretched sheep, Millie, with the unexpected aid of a completely mad Frenchwoman who regards it as a rival in her longstanding affaire with Buggeroll. As I said, she is clearly mad. She also hates me, that is obvious, but she had reason to get the sheep clear of Buggeroll and so did I, so there you are. The sheep is now safely ensconced with a local farmer of good character in a secret location. Buggeroll has been tearing madly around looking for it, but to no avail. Apparently no other sheep will do (except for a brief encounter)! The man is as dotty as his French mistress, I believe. As much as she hates me, it is nothing to her hatred for Winston, and I seriously think she intends to kill him. Winston pooh-poohs the whole thing, saying, "She fancies me. All French women fancy me, you know."

If I were him, I would be very careful indeed. That woman has a look in the back of her eyes that bodes ill for the unwary.

Now why am I telling you all this? Heaven knows. That's the Internet for you, isn't it? One just gets caught up in thinking out loud, and before you know it...

I think I had better sign off.

Adieu.

* PR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Aug 03 - 10:24 PM

My dear Ms. Penelope Rutledge,

I see that your knowledge of the poetry of neurotic, agoraphobic, undersexed spinsters who spend their entire lives in prisons of their own making while composing little verses that are quite possibly the only reason that they haven't just done us all a favor and committed suicide is greater than your knowledge of anthropology and paleontology. Your use of the term "slackjawed Cro-Magnon" to refer to my humble self belies your obvious total ignorance of human evolution. If a Cro-Magnon man were to walk down the streets of modern day Twillingsgate he would be virtually indistinguishable from, say, Winston Wellington-Jones or Malcolm Buggerall. If you want "slackjawed" you have to go back to the much more primitive Neanderthal man. "Slackjawed Neanderthal" would have been a much more logical choice of words.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 08:42 PM

Debbie Early, you ain't never gonna find me! I ain't a-gonna help you make more of your kind, specially not with the Penny woman! Why, she ain't got anywhere near the quality of diplodic DNA that I do! You're jist in lechery agin, like you was on Altair VI-3 that time, and don't play dumb with me, 'cause I know you remember that slime mold you were so taken with. You know what you are, Debbie Early? You're a pervert, that's what you are! Every time we've gotten near a planet you start droolin' and a-champin' at the bit to reproduce! Well, you gotta have at least three to do that, and this time I'm stayin' hid!

Besides, I'm still lookin' for The King, you know. And when I find him, I know that he Khan Du, iffen you git my drift. 'Cause I don't NEED you, Debbie Earl! All I gotta do is git me Khandu, another guy who's as carin' as that bee-dubya guy, a thing they call a Labrador retriever, and some Rhizapus Nigricans and I can reproduce WITHOUT you and your trashy triplodic DNA!

And don't bother lookin' for me, neither!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86)
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM

Dying at my music!
Bubble! Bubble!
Hold me till the Octave's run!
Quick! Burst the Windows!
Ritardando!
Phials left, and the Sun!

E.D.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 11:32 AM

Amos, you ask, "What gender IS Debbie Earl, anyway?" After thorough study of freds' postings to this and other threads I have concluded that it is a meaningless question. Debbie Earl is freds, not human. Freds do not make the same male/female distinctions among themselves that we humans do. It's far more subtle. You'd have to be freds to understand it. There do seem to be some tendencies toward what we humans would call "masculinity" or "femininity" and it appears that Debbie Earl exhibits more "masculine" characteristics than partner Bubba Bubba, but, there again, we cannot make conclusive judgements because they are freds, not humans. However, when it comes to interspecies relationships it appears that freds are sexually attracted only to female humans. Male humans may be all right to hang out with, but freds seem to find the idea of sex with a male human repulsive. They have no problem with eating one every now and then, but draw the line at screwing.

Then there is also the matter of the term "freds". Is it singular or plural? Well, it's neither. We humans must set aside some of our linguistic conventions when referring to freds. Debbie Earl is freds. Not "a fred". There is no such word as "fred" in freds' language. Also one never uses articles, definite or otherwise, when referring to freds. "A freds" and "the freds" are absolutely meaningless terms. "Freds" is the only word that is needed.

Hope this has cleared things up.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Debbie Earl
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 09:19 AM

Miz Penylopy i dint even git a glimps of yu butt yu wuz enrot so thats ok. that aint lik bean enfamlyway is it cuz if it is ill tak kar uv yu an the new hatched liddl uns. if yu wil let me no whar yu wil bee on the 27 i will defen yu aginst the marshuns or whoefer atax then to. Bubba Bubba sez hi or wood if i cud find BB. I suspek that BB iz stil out hangen arond truk stops tho lukin fur kando.

any way Miz Penylopy plez let me no an gif me hope cuz my indenshuns are onorabel onez an i wil mayk BB bee with uz so wee kin haf a lot of off springs. i no yull lyk that.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 08:50 AM

Amos,

See Debbie Earl's posting of August 2, 9:29 p.m. There are earlier ones, too, I think. Apparently DE and Bubba Bubba were strong-arms for the Galactic Overlord, but discovered blues and became whatever they are now.

MOAB has more digressions and sidepaths than reading a dictionary as a novel.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86)
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 01:09 AM

THERE'S something quieter than sleep
Within this inner room!
It wears a sprig upon its breast,
And will not tell its name.
   
Some touch it and some kiss it,     5
Some chafe its idle hand;
It has a simple gravity
I do not understand!
   
While simple-hearted neighbors
Chat of the "early dead",             10
We, prone to periphrasis,
Remark that birds have fled!

E.D.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge (en route)
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 12:58 AM

Mr. Bee Dubya Ell,

did you know that your name in a Semitic language spells bowel?

And did you know--but of course you didn't--that the bzzzzzzzz that Miss Emily Dickinson heard before she died in 1886 was a fly--a fly, you slackjawed Cro-Magnon. Not a bee.

Miss Emily, forgive them, for they know not what they say.

Yours,

Ms. Penelope Rutlege


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 12:51 AM

What gender IS Debbie Earl, anyway?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Aug 03 - 12:18 AM

Yas, where has that damned absynthe addict been hiding her scrawny old butt anyhow? Probably hanging out on a Hull street corner whistlin' at sailors. You'd be a good match for her DebbieEarl. I am nearly certain she used to group the Allman Brothers back in the day. Ain't that right Mz.Penelope?

yerz,
Tweed


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Debbie Earl
Date: 07 Aug 03 - 09:46 PM

Nether kin i lidle hak cuz Miz Penylopy is better lookin than a stream full of turdles, er a hedj full of litnin bugs.

Dont tell nobody but i think i'm goin to ask her to git hitched with me and then we kin liv together her an me an Bubba Bubba. With the three ov uz we kin probably hav kids an ill name one lidle hak jus fer yu.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 03 - 07:18 PM

Oh, my. I can't wait until Ms Penelope Rutledge sees fit to weigh in again and chastise you depraved scoundrels within an inch of your wretched lives...

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Aug 03 - 06:22 PM

Emily, Emily, Emily... "Kinsmen of the shelf" my ass. Girl, you need to get laid worse than anybody I've ever known before. Come on, now. Give it up. What the hell you savin' it for? You wanna read books, stick with the kind that makes panty gravy, girl. Then, when it's all hot and bothered go find yoreself a man and see if he knows what to do with it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Emily Dickinson (1830–86)
Date: 07 Aug 03 - 05:16 PM

UNTO my books so good to turn
Far ends of tired days;
It half endears the abstinence,
And pain is missed in praise.
   
As flavors cheer retarded guests     5
With banquetings to be,
So spices stimulate the time
Till my small library.
   
It may be wilderness without,
Far feet of failing men,       10
But holiday excludes the night,
And it is bells within.
   
I thank these kinsmen of the shelf;
Their countenances bland
Enamour in prospective,      15
And satisfy, obtained.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 10:53 PM

Nay, foreswear, Leedle Hack!! The BWL has done the word a great courtesy by staying true to what IS true. Let us thank him, and urge the Dead Poetess Aloft to do the same!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 10:38 PM

Oh, Rapaire, you insensitive brute! I think you owe the lady a heartfelt apology for that.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM

Never forget this, Emily.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 11:58 AM

BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ....
BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ....
BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ....
BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ.... BZZZZZZ....


They don't call me BEE-dubya-ell fer nuthin!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Emily Dickinson (1830–86)
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 02:44 AM

PIGMY seraphs gone astray,
Velvet people from Vevay,
Belles from some lost summer day,
Bees' exclusive coterie.
Paris could not lay the fold            5
Belted down with emerald;
Venice could not show a cheek
Of a tint so lustrous meek.
Never such an ambuscade
As of brier and leaf displayed         10
For my little damask maid.
I had rather wear her grace
Than an earl's distinguished face;
I had rather dwell like her
Than be Duke of Exeter,                15
Royalty enough for me
To subdue the bumble-bee!

--Emily


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 19 September 4:59 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.