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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Mar 13 - 02:10 AM
Acme 28 Feb 13 - 11:19 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 13 - 10:51 PM
gnu 28 Feb 13 - 02:36 PM
Pete Jennings 28 Feb 13 - 12:13 PM
Amos 28 Feb 13 - 11:35 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Feb 13 - 10:20 AM
Pete Jennings 28 Feb 13 - 09:50 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Feb 13 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 13 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 13 - 07:45 AM
Amos 27 Feb 13 - 11:46 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 13 - 07:50 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Feb 13 - 03:14 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 13 - 02:04 PM
Amos 27 Feb 13 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 13 - 09:10 AM
Acme 26 Feb 13 - 10:28 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 26 Feb 13 - 09:54 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 13 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 13 - 08:32 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 26 Feb 13 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 13 - 04:29 PM
Amos 25 Feb 13 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 13 - 07:52 PM
Amos 25 Feb 13 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 13 - 04:54 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 13 - 03:05 PM
Acme 25 Feb 13 - 12:56 PM
Amos 25 Feb 13 - 10:01 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 13 - 08:43 AM
Amos 25 Feb 13 - 02:16 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM
Little Hawk 24 Feb 13 - 02:31 PM
Acme 24 Feb 13 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 13 - 09:13 AM
Amos 24 Feb 13 - 03:12 AM
Acme 24 Feb 13 - 01:32 AM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 13 - 09:15 PM
Amos 23 Feb 13 - 08:06 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 13 - 08:00 PM
Acme 23 Feb 13 - 07:40 PM
gnu 23 Feb 13 - 07:39 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 13 - 07:33 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 13 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 13 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 13 - 02:32 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 13 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Feb 13 - 08:21 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 13 - 02:10 AM

Well, ma'am, I have been aware of it gradually as Miss Maggie showed me the ropes and got me trained up. She keeps a pretty close eye on me, though; she follows me to every room of the house during the day just to make sure she isn't missing anything, and she is quick to straighten me out if I go wrong. By ad large, it is a very affectionate relationship, rich and enlivening.

If Chongo persists in his blind and wilful denial of his own harmful acts, we may have to organize an intervention to get him to face up to things. Maybe someone could get a message to Chinga and we could round him up and tie him to a chair in one of her prosperous parlors, where he could observe the consequences of his neglect first hand in between Chingas razor strokes. That should bring home to him the morality of his omissions. Maybe with a big picture of his departed Mother on the wall across from the chair where he would have to confront it. One of the girls could drip absinthe onto his forehead from behind while Chinga recited his record back to him. Just think how many Views it would get on YouTube!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 11:19 PM

Amos, you're only now figuring out the dog communication network? I bet you notice barks in the neighborhood that you would have ignored or dismissed in the past. There was a PBS program that offered a series of dog barks and people who live with dogs can easily recognize the difference between happy, scared, threatening, alerting on strangers, etc. Ms. Maggie will teach you many things in the coming years, so say Poppy, Cinnamon, and Zeke. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 10:51 PM

Chonga, there is no longer such a thing as the Idaho Legion. You really ought to try to stay current on important matters such as that. As for your own past, I laid it all out months ago and don't intend to repeat myself -- there's a search engine on this website, so use it. If you don't know how get someone to show you; Shame McBride would give his left nut to get back on a computer and I'm certain he could make the instruction clear to even a mind as simple as yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:36 PM

"dog-e-message"... hehehe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 12:13 PM

And here, Chump, on this side of the pond. Pity the poor Amerikans, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 11:35 AM

Recetlly having joined the ranks of dog-owners and dog-lovers, I have gradually become aware that the world is actually going to the dogs--it is awash in puppies, teeming with canines. They drag their bipeds out onto the streets morning and night. I have no idea how numerous they are, but if my own Darlin' Maggie Dogg is any example they must produce a billion pounds of turd material a day. That's enough to build a whole Turd World country! The dogs of the world, also, are telepathically linked in an international network of quadrupedal communications. The Dog Matrix. It's faster than the Internet and more complex than the DM V. A dog can be entirely bemused walking down the street, chatting with his person, and all of a sudden he gets a flash message from the canine network. Bam! His tail goes out, his ears perk, his nose quivers, and he is all attention. Once he has processed the dog-e-message, he sends his ACK and suddenly relaxes, resuming the conversation with the biped as though nothing had occurred.

But I know, and now you do, too. This international conspiracy of sniffers on four legs is alert, and it operates twenty-four hours a day. We may consider ourselves lucky that this massive organization considers our kind an ally, and is willing to overlook our past brutality and ongoing blundering stupidity in exchange for the occasional loan of an opposable thumb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 10:20 AM

All ya really need to know about that is right here.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 09:50 AM

So what's yer favourite cigar, Chump?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 09:33 AM

Ya know, Rap, you are givin' that dimwit Hector Ballsworthy a run for his money in comin' up with the most bizarre and totally false allegations about yer betters. You oughta start up a newsrag to compete with his, maybe call it the "Idaho Tattler" or somethin' like that. Along with all yer silly stories about me and that dumb Idaho Legion ya could do updates on Batboy, zombie outbreaks, and lizard people in the halls of Congress.

With yer talent for total absolute bullshit, I figger you could attract a lot of media attention, maybe double yer present income and break into a lower middle class existence for the first time in yer sorry life...

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 09:32 AM

WE'RE GOING HOME TODAY!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 07:45 AM

It was because "he" conned a missionary doctor in West Africa to change "his" sex ("he" still takes the testosterone to suppress certain, ah, female characteristics). To pay the doctor "he" pimped his loving mother and identical twin sister, Chinga, and then callously abandoned them and fled to the US.

"His" mother died from the heartbreak; "his" sister wants to cause "him" considerable pain before "he" croaks. She said recently, "Oh yes, as you know and as it's often been said, revenge is a dish best served cold."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 11:46 PM

So, I want to get this straight--was the complete degradation of the Chimp family caused by Chongo because of his malice toward Chinga or his shame over Chonga?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 07:50 PM

You know who it is, you sex-changed chimp! I did a helluva lot of research on you some time back and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you conned a missionary doctor in West Africa to do a gender-bend on you! Then you sold your mother and twin sister into a Life Of Shame to pay for it...ChongA!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 03:14 PM

I got no idea who this "Chonga" individual is that you keep goin' on about, Rap, but she sounds disgusting! Yer a lot like Amos, I guess, you just can't resist hangin' around in shady dives with the dregs of the female gender...and any species will do. You better be careful, cos ya might catch somethin' doin' that, and I don't mean the common cold.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 02:04 PM

I'll warrant that Chonga picks through his poop for something to eat before flinging it at an innocent child.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 10:00 AM

About time someone put a warrant on that guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 13 - 09:10 AM

Look, poop-thrower, I said "unwarranted" criticisms. ALL of my criticisms are both warranted and well-deserved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 10:28 PM

MOM and I are watching three episodes of Makers on PBS. You fellas just take a chair and watch along with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 09:54 PM

And what happens if ya don't keep it? Can I volunteer to administer some appropriate punishment if that happens? By the way, ya mispelled my name again in yer last post.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 08:44 PM

I will no longer make unwarranted criticisms of Chonga Chimp, Shame McBride, "Bad Penny" Rutledge, Amos, or anyone else. This is a solemn vow and I fully intend to keep it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 08:32 PM

I'm certain you like the aroma, Chonga, since the smoke kills the fleas and bugs you're infested with. Tell me: how's your cockroach crop this year? Are they living near your nose yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 04:39 PM

Ahhhh....!

The smell of cigar smoke...

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 13 - 04:29 PM

Hell, Amos, you could still smell the cigar smoke!

I don't care. We're going home the day after tomorrow!!!

Home -- where my heart's a-quakin'
Home -- where the music's fakin'
Home -- where the bills lie waitin'
Silently for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 11:31 PM

Maybe you should just unsubscribe. Any outfit that can send beer stains through e-mail is more than you want to deal with.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 07:52 PM

I dunno. As I said before, I'm not there and haven't been consulted. This is all a surprise to me. From the beer stains on the email I don't think much has really changed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 07:16 PM

I dunno--seems to me they're raising a storm in a teacup about that little O. Most folks in serious Sinning Societies (SSSes) are more concerned with the big O, not the little one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 04:54 PM

So then this came:


CLASSIFICATION: NOT VERY SECRET

MSG NO: 20130225-47

TO: All Members
FROM: BFG
DATE: 25 February 2013
SUBJECT: CG/BFG TITLE: CLARIFICATION AND CHANGE

1. There has been confusion regarding the new title of the former CG.

2. No sex discrimination is implied by the use of the "o" at the end, even though in Eyetalian we are told it means a male.

3. Therefore and hereaafter, the former CG will be addresed by a new title and/or new abbreviation. This will eliminate the problem given in #2.

4. The new title is "Basso Profundo Delicata" and will be abbreviated "BFD."

5. This change is immediate and superseeds any previous changes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 03:05 PM

Could be...the whole thing has been done without my guidance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 12:56 PM

I think a better fit would be the BFG and the attendant farts. (See Roald Dahl's bibliography)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 10:01 AM

I allus wondered who wrote that. Is the BFS related to the M of All BS, or is that just an initial coincidence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 08:43 AM

I have just received an email from the CG of the Idaho Legion. The Legion is changing its name and, somewhat, its focus. It will now the known as the Idaho Folk Sinning [sic] Sassietee [sic]. Its mission will be to "presarve and pertec [sic] the sanctity of Idaho's musical heritage and stop other folks from sinnin' [sic] Idaho's great folk songs without payin' and to pertect [sic] Idaho from invasion from within and without and specially from California and temperance people."

From now on the Legion hovel will be officially known as "The Hovel" as it was felt that "hovelity" was more in keeping with the new organization.

The CG's new title is "Basso Profundo Supremo", or "BFS".

How sad to see such a great and noble organization change, but the times they are a-changin', as the BFS wrote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 13 - 02:16 AM

Sam Hinton's San Diego Folk Song SOciety had a fine old fashioned song circle at the lofty Serra Mesa Library today; some lovely old timers there, and good music had by all. In other news Maggie Darlin' Dogg won the Most Adorable Mutt award for the second year in a row during the Oscars presentations. A completely different location, mind you, but it was while the Oscars show was running. So it's official.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM

Nice furniture, like this -- a solid cherry chest-on-chest. Pictures, both photographic and otherwise. Family papers, including the "Just Married" sign from the Army truck which took Pat's parents away from the Ft. Meade chapel where they were married in August, 1941. Enough office supplies that we needn't buy any more for the rest of our lives. A computer. A chair that's been in Pat's family for years and which is identical to one that shows up in some of Matthew Brady's studio photographs of Civil War soldiers. Things like that.

We got rid of much, also. A queen-sized sleeper sofa. The plethora of Hummels. Two two-drawer file cabinets. Two curved-glass front corner cabinets (one to a Mudcatter and Getawayer). A mahogany dining room table and six chairs. Knick-knacks by the score. Lamps, except for one made by Waterford of Ireland. It all went to good homes, including a community furniture recycling center.

Come visit -- AFTER we get the stuff arranged OR next weekend and help unload.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 02:31 PM

Shane is almost willing to work...for beer. Depends on how much beer and how long it's been since the last one. You never know, you might have gotten an hour or two of semi-work out of him if he'd been there, and he'd have had time to tell you all about the more exciting things he's been doing lately in his majorly cool existence, as he would put it.

Too bad, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 10:44 AM

What are you hauling out west, Rap? More books?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 09:13 AM

They were there, Amos, but Those Who Know How have to do the actual positioning of the load. And there will be others at the far end to help with the unloading.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 03:12 AM

I am sorry for your aches and bruises, Bookster. The trick is to higher college kids--they are still half-rubber.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 13 - 01:32 AM

Agreed, Little Hawk! I heard her three years ago and thought she was great, and she is even better now. She grew up in the Armenian section of the Soviet Union, now simply Armenia (not as big as historically the region would have been, but at least it exists). She said she has to have someone make her performance skirts and dresses, because off-the-rack dresses aren't made to place a guitar between your knees. Who knew?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM

Too bad Shane had not been there to help you, you might have got it all done in twice the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 09:15 PM

I loaded a truck in two hours with stuff it took two weeks to prepare for the loading. Well, I helped load it. Stood inside and helped wrestle the junk into place, block it, pad it, and tie it down so there's a minimum of shifting during the haul from Maryland to Pocatello. Fortunately Lance, a cousin and a retired long-haul trucker, is driving the load.

I am, to say the least, stiff and sore and quite tired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:06 PM

We are liastening to Segovia while awaiting the genteel company of the physicist and his wife, the artist. A jolly evening looms ahead.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:00 PM

I'm just listening to her now. Wonderful! That is some fine guitar playing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 07:40 PM

I went to a marvelous concert last night. The performer, Gohar Vardanyan, had a CD for sale that she produced herself and financed via crowd sourcing (IndieGoGo.com). We need to point Mr. Beauxbear toward crowd source funding to master his music for his next CD.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 07:39 PM

I assume he purchases them from a maker. Collecting such is not something a refined gentleman would do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 07:33 PM

Oh, I see. I had no idea.

Do you collect them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 04:12 PM

A bag made from a bull's bag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 03:20 PM

That's a strange looking object, Rap. It kind of looks vaguely like the hind end of a groundhog. What is it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 02:32 PM

Rapparee was engaged in work, something Shame should try once in a while. He doesn't frighten me; the last person who thought he could do that ended up...well, like this one. I can always use another poke, although Shame's would undoubtedly be too small for any real use. Perhaps a very, very small pebble would fit, but not anything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 10:23 AM

It's been over an hour, and no response from Rapparee. Shane has clearly terrified him into silence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 08:21 AM

Flip OFF! You LESS-on!

- Shane


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