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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Jan 13 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 13 - 01:17 PM
Acme 06 Jan 13 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 13 - 09:42 AM
Amos 05 Jan 13 - 11:52 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 13 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 13 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 13 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 11:43 PM
Amos 04 Jan 13 - 11:35 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 11:28 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 11:16 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 11:13 PM
Janie 04 Jan 13 - 11:07 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 10:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 10:48 PM
Janie 04 Jan 13 - 10:23 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 10:00 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 04:03 PM
gnu 04 Jan 13 - 03:39 PM
Amos 04 Jan 13 - 03:27 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,harry lee wigley 04 Jan 13 - 03:11 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 02:20 PM
Acme 04 Jan 13 - 12:39 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 12:37 PM
GUEST,The Multiverse Overlord 04 Jan 13 - 12:24 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 13 - 10:04 AM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 13 - 12:49 AM
gnu 03 Jan 13 - 10:36 PM
Eiseley 03 Jan 13 - 07:41 PM
gnu 03 Jan 13 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 03 Jan 13 - 03:34 PM
Acme 03 Jan 13 - 02:52 PM
Amos 03 Jan 13 - 12:20 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jan 13 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 13 - 10:02 AM
gnu 02 Jan 13 - 03:44 PM
Amos 02 Jan 13 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 13 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 13 - 03:50 PM
gnu 01 Jan 13 - 02:04 PM
Acme 01 Jan 13 - 12:47 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 13 - 11:33 AM
gnu 01 Jan 13 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 12 - 10:12 PM
Little Hawk 31 Dec 12 - 09:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 03:26 PM

Not inherently; they have a native sense of right action, or ethics. But they also have a reactive component in their mental processes which is capable of overwhelming or overriding the rational and sensitive component, resulting in insane action, or at least very unproductiver choices. That's why we invent moral codes--to impose a modicum of control over the baser daemons of our natures. This is not a good solution; better by far would be to learn the genus of such daemons and curtail them at source.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 01:17 PM

Stilly, I'd like one of those bumper stickers. Only I want it to say, "I'm Better Than Your God."

Why do we need to create a whole set of belief, world-wide, in order to be decent folks? Why must I be told to treat others as I'd want to be treated, not to steal, not to kill without utmost necessity, not to cheat on my spouse, to take care old folks (like me!) and so on? Are human beings that stupid?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 10:38 AM

LH,

The flip side of the diatribe about intolerant atheists is the ugly side of the christians (or other industrial religion zealots) who not only put their gods at the top of all religion and assume that all gods are actually THEIR god in disguise (thereby dismissing the autonomy of those other religions), they drive around with bumper stickers that say "My God is Better than Your God." They drank the Koolaid their religious leaders dispense so they accept the bible as literal and their religious leaders as infallible, and want to shape to government and society to fit their world view. They do not accept "live and let live" as an altruistic way to get along and their religion has built in method of spreading by testifying and by sending out missionaries to interfere with other religions around the world or in remote corners of their own continent. These christians can not see the beauty and balance of native religions that grew organically in a given landscape and taught those societies how to get along and live successfully on their land. They enslave native populations to the foreign urban religion and shift the self-sustaining agricultural and hunting practices away from earth-friendly methods in order to grow products they can't use to exchange for money to purchase refined foods and useless plastic products.

Yes, there is a flip side to the insensitive atheist, just as there is a flip side to the thoughtful intelligent religious observer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 13 - 09:42 AM

Yup. Need that ivory ta make grips fer my .45. Ya know what George Patton said about mother-of-pearl grips, that only pimps have those. Well, I ain't no pimp -- well, I was a bibliopimp but's that's differnt -- so I gotta get me ivory fer the handles of mah shootin' ahrns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 11:52 PM

I am so glad!! Now you can continue to chop down ivory towers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 02:19 PM

Well.

The electrician just left. We're have a bathroom remodeled, including the replacement of two "heat lights" in the ceiling with a fluorescent or other fixture.

The heat light was a Joe Homeowner job. Recessed lighting with cedar fluff insulation packed around the box. Cedar is wood. Lights give off heat. Heat + wood fluff + air = ?

Go to the head of the class! Much of the wood fluff was actually charred.

Dodged another bullet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 01:53 PM

How do people know that a pig is shit is happy? Just askin'.

Now. Ahem.

Sin can only be doing wrong to another, because doing wrong to yourself is just plain stupid. (Of course, there is no shortage of stupid people in the world.)

This being the case, then Luke 6:31 "Do to others as you would have them do to you," and Luke 10:31-37 will define "neighbor" as will many other passage in the NT. The problem seems to me to be that most folks prefer to have nice things done to THEM without doing nice or nicer things for others. Speaking in parables (probably for fear of the Romans and the highly-placed locals), Yeshua of Nazareth did define "other" (as did Martin Heidegger in "I and Thou") and what should be done to avoid being in error regarding them.

The problem ain't in JC's teachings, the problem is in the people who say they follow them.

As a further Biblical citation and an example of what I (and LH) are talking about, whip out your New Testament and read Luke 18:9-14.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 13 - 11:44 AM

An obsession with sin is the mark of both the religious fanatic and the anti-religious cynic. They use it like a man in a crowd throwing a stone at someone, and their intent is to exercise power of some sort or make other people feel miserable in some way.

"sin", by the way, doesn't mean "dirty and nasty", as the cynic always assumes it does. It means "an error" or (as in archery) "missing the mark".

Find me someone who has never made a single error in his entire life, who hit the absolute center of the target with the very first arrow he ever fired and with every arrow ever since...and you will have found me the person who is without sin.

There is no such person. But this does not mean that a "sinner" is mean, nasty, and evil. It means that he's a student who is learning from his errors. He or she still has much room for improvement and can still learn more and continue evolving toward a higher and better life. That is the evolutionary impulse implicit in all Nature, and it's a noble one indeed. It's in animals and plants too, not just human beings. Everything strives to improve itself.

And we hold up ideals of perfection to strive toward. In the Christian religion, the ideal of perfection is symbolized in Jesus.

The sheer snide, sneering, chauvinistic, preening superiority of the anti-religious type of person who pisses all over anything religious he can find to aim his bile at is a truly ugly thing to see...once you've been around some genuinely religious people (in ANY religion) who are also very good and very intelligent and rational and modern people...and you get what's really going on with that.

Having been brought up in an atheistic family which automatically engaged in that kind of chauvinism I'm referring to, never realizing how ugly and ignorant it is, and hiding under their gross illusions of supposed rational superiority, and having practiced such chauvinism myself until I finally got it that I don't necessarily know EVERYTHING yet.....I feel sick inside when I see other people doing it now.

The swine in this world enjoy rending that which they utterly fail to comprehend, and they sit in their accustomed mental muck all the while as they do it, "happy as pigs in shit".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:43 PM

Ah, yes, Amos. But you would have to be without sin to start with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:35 PM

IF you are not sinning, furthermore, people are going to come running up asking you to do them a favor and cast the first stone, day and night. SO inconsiderate!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:28 PM

The single most important thing about Christianity is the belief that a Perfect Sacrifice, the Son of God, was made to atone for the sins of humanity.

That being the case, if you do not sin you are making a mockery of that Perfect Sacrifice.

Feel free....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:16 PM

The banner ad! I see. Well, I usually just delete those without even noticing what they were advertising.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:13 PM

By the way, some of the best, most rational people I've ever known have been Christians....but NOT the stereotypical Religous Right Christians that so many people here imagine infesting their political anxiety closets. They've all been liberals and progressives, in fact. They've all related very well to science as well as to spiritual matters. They've all believed in evolution. They've all respected Gays and honored Gay rights. Maybe God does have the perfect match for you. ;-) Depends on how you define "God". And most people don't give that much thought, do they? The ones who do give it a lot of thought are those who think there's a great deal more to this life than mere survival, competition, money, and material advantage....that there is a beautiful meaning and purpose at the very heart of life, and the key to it all is Love. You must give it to receive it, and give it freely, with no calculation in mind on the possible return. That's the whole thing right there in a single sentence.

"And in the end the love you take, is equal to the love...you make" - The Beatles


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:07 PM

banner ad at the bottom of the video, LH - quite a common one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:55 PM

I'm not sure what you mean about Facebook, Janie. ;-) I barely ever go there.

Anyway, here's Lynn back in 2010 in Austin, Texas, doing another great song she wrote: Three Chords and the Truth

She's using that same guitar again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:48 PM

They're also going to tear down a wall and take out the toilet.

Good thing there are holes out on the golf curse!! (That spelling started to be corrected, but I liked it.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:23 PM

thanks LH, I'm gonna have to listen to more of that. The wood of that new to you gueetar has surely soaked up some fine vibes.

But as a result of watching that video, I'm now worried that three people on facebook have unfriended me and a Christian dating site has found God's match for me.

Oh dear, MOM, what's a girl to do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:08 PM

You got a shotgun? Destroy it yourself. Think of the money you'll save.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:03 PM

The electrician comes tomorrow to re-route the wiring so they can destroy the bathtub on Monday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:00 PM

Indoors, I hope!

Why, it gets so cold in those places that words spoken out of doors freeze solid and fall to the ground. Come warm weather (or a chinook) it gets to noisy you can't hear yourself think. Sometimes the winds brings the words down this way and frankly, we've got plenty of verbiage here to keep us for centuries to come.

Where ya been, HLW?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 04:03 PM

Yessir. And so is this guitar.

She'll be playing in Barrie, Ontario on April 4rth.

She's got some shows coming up in Alberta and Saskatchewan in January.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 03:39 PM

LH... she is a treasure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 03:27 PM

She sings sweetly. ANd she writes kindly, too.

Thanks, LH!

Nice to hear from Is Eiseley!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 03:17 PM

I WISH!!! I've known her to write as many as 25 great new songs, every one of them a gem, within maybe a couple of months. Sheesh. You have to witness it firsthand to believe it.

I am doing a lot more playing lately, because I like this guitar so much, so it has helped in that regard.

Nice to hear from you after such a long time, Harry Lee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,harry lee wigley
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 03:11 PM

Yeah, yall done took this thread and run off with it. So LH. did Lynn Miles gift of songwriting pass into you hands with the Avalon guitar, as did Sheeny Knause's gift of non-entitiness pass into mine with the purchases of his possum herd?

I do hope so. Nothing like the passing of gifts and gas to start off a good new year.

HLW in the flash


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 02:20 PM

Hey, folks, here is the mighty Lynn Miles, Canada's greatest songwriter, playing the very same Avalon guitar I recently bought from her...and it's a beauty.

Have a listen to her great song Fearless Heart


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:39 PM

Decisions, decisions: chiral gas chromatography or adult vs embryonic stem cells captured via catheter. Which should come first?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:37 PM

Hmmm. Well, what if I wanted to try out being someone else for awhile? Why should I be limited to just being ME as ME is at the moment? Why should I feel threatened by the idea of change?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Multiverse Overlord
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:24 PM

I, Absolute Ruler of All Multiverses, whether Iambic, Pentic, Skaldic, Alexandrine, or Any Other,

I, Lord of All Fictons,

Have returned the creature "Rapparee" to the Universe wherein she, he, or it belongs.

Never again send him, her, or it Elsewhere, for My Rule will not be challenged.

You violate this command at the price of The Which Makes You You.

Love,
TMO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 11:58 AM

You, my friend, are an embarrassment to civilization. ;-) Fortunately, you don't exist in this time-space continuum, but are safely sequestered in a neighboring one that is a few parsecs over toward the Dark Rift. You've been put in quarantine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 10:04 AM

I remember my Mom. Her warm embrace, her fur tickling my nose, being carried by the scruff of my next back to the den when I'd stray. Ah, for the good old days!

Unlike certain chimpanzees, I loved Mom and never sold any of my family into sexual servitude (a couple went willingly, though).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 13 - 12:49 AM

Well...it might be that I just don't get warm, fuzzy feelings when I hear the word "Mom", Amos. It doesn't work for me. Personal history.

But your point is well taken. I shall refrain from further such attacks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 10:36 PM

Sounds a treat maid! Glad you enjoyed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 07:41 PM

Thank you for the Swamp Story, Rapparee.

I just returned home from an excursion to the south to visit the folks. They're all doing well, and now probably recuperating from the deluge of visitors my visit flooded on them. There were grandchildren galore, tearing all through the house at all hours. We had some delicious food and a lot of good time talking over old times. Early night tonight!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 03:50 PM

Easier just to apply a Mohr's Circle analysis within which an inverse asymtote is incorporated using an undefined random variable, although it seems unmanagable at first glance. Essentially, it approches the theory of The Bird of Diminishing Returns in which the bird flies in ever decreasing circles, flies up it's own ass and disappears. The BoDRs theory is simply too empirical (hehehehe... I make myself LOL!) and, as such, the modified Mohr's circle analysis is favoured.

Or, you could just use all the C4 and run.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 03:34 PM

Okay. I won't. I promise not to blow up The Tavern. I also promise not to the burn it down. Neither up nor down. Hmmm...I could sort of rotate it, keeping it in the middle, so to speak...

If I set up a 6-D matrix with dimensions of 2 * 2 * 3 * 2 * 2 * 2:
G =
111111 121111 111211 121211
211111 221111 211211 221211
112111 122111 112211 122211
212111 222111 212211 222211
113111 123111 113211 123211
213111 223111 213211 22321
111112 121112 111212 121212
211112 221112 211212 221212
112112 122112 112212 122212
212112 222112 212212 222212
113112 123112
1213112 223112
113212 123212
213212 223212
111121 121121 111221 121221
211121 221121 211221 221221
112121 122121 112221 122221
212121 222121 212221 222221
113121
111122 121122 111222 121222
211122 221122 211222 221222
112122 122122 112222 12222
212122 222122
123121 113221 123221
213121 223121 213221 223221
212222 222222
113122 123122 113222 123222
213122 223122 213222 223222

then I can use Gaussian elimination to simplify the transitional bounds and with within a non-Euclidian fold...yeah, should work....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 02:52 PM

Rap, MOM is over petting cats in the tavern. So don't blow up the place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 12:20 PM

Now, sirrah, you are going entirely too far. If I was not myself gasp[ing for every breath, wracked with fever and beaten by chills, hampered by ague and hacking like an old man at the moment I would take you severely to task. What happened tot he code of not messing around with others' creation, Mister Creative Virtue? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 10:24 AM

Hmmm. Well, in my reality, Rap, you ceased to exist around dawn this morning. You're just not there anymore. I realize you do exist in some other reality, and that's fine, but the fact that you're not in this one anymore is a bit disturbing. What shall we do about it?

Oh, and there is no such thing as "Mom" here either, in terms of this thread, I mean. The idea of a Mudcate thread being our "Mom" is a completely fallacious concept which has no bearing on reality. It doesn't hold water. It does not compute. "That dog won't hunt", to quote Bobert.

In short, my dear fellow, you and a few others here are engaging in a daily fantasy which makes my daily fantasies look profoundly real and substantial in comparison.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 10:02 AM

Mom! Look at you! Hanging around the fiscal cliff and the GOP on your way back (or is it to?) that disreputable Tavern! Why, I do believe I detect the faint odor of alcohol on your breath...and clothing...and cane...and hat...and....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 03:44 PM

Indeed! BRAVO! BRAVO!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 13 - 12:13 PM

See, that right there, that's good BS. BEst kind, even world class. Rare, round firm, and fully packed. Yowzah.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 10:10 PM

All right, you asked for it! Just to show you that I AM the Master of All Creation here's one of my creations!!

       Like most summer days, it was hot, sweaty, humid, and boring. There had been no rain for at least five or six days, the Fourth of July was past, the grass was brown, and all that there was to look forward to was school starting at the end of the August. Luckily, it was still July, so we still had some time to lay around and read and cut grass and play and go swimming and stuff.

        Still, it was boring because we'd read all of the books we'd gotten from the library and the grass was cut and the weeding was done and we were tired of playing with each other and the swimming pool was closed.

        "You know something?" said Tony one day. "This is really boring."

        "We could have a fight," Ted suggested.

        "Nah," I said, "we did that an hour ago and Mom said that if we did it again she'd Take Appropriate Action, and I don't want to find out what that means."

        "Good thought," said Tony.

        "Hey," said Ted, "let's go take a walk. Not a long one, like a hike or something, just a walk. We could go look around the southeast part of the northwest corner of the Swamp. We've never really looked around there much before."

        "It's too hot," I said and Tony poured a whole glass of ice water down my back and said, "Not now, I bet!" and laughed and laughed and Ted joined him.

        "Okay," I said resignedly, "let's go tell Mom we're going." And we did, and she just shook her head about my really wet back.

        Off we went, a song in our hearts because the neighbors complained if we actually sang a song.

        Once in the southwest part of the northwest corner of the Swamp we had to turn around because we were supposed to be in the southeast corner and naturally we blamed each other for getting us lost even though we really weren't. We just liked to blame things on each other.

        Off we went in the southeast part of the northwest corner. It was very interesting, and Ted decided that we were probably the very first people who'd ever been in the part before. Tony disagreed.
        "Why do you think that we're not the first?" queried Ted. "I think we are."

        "Because," Tony explained, "it would be very unlikely that a section of land (even though it's Swamp) wasn't explored at least by the Indians. And I think I can say with some assurance that there are Certain Signs that indicate that we aren't the first people here."

        "Oh yeah?!" exclaimed Ted. "What sort of signs do your eagle-like eyes see that would lead you to think that, pray tell?"

        "Little things," said Tony. "The way the grass grows, for one."

        Ted sneered.

        "The contours of land, for another."

        Ted sneered again, but a lot more so.

        "The fence you're sitting on, which has a sign on it says 'Tuttle's Terribly Tender Turkeys' and a road leading through the gate over there, for still another."

        "Oh," said Ted, not sneering at all. "Oh. This good old fence and the good old sign. Well, I don't think that anyone else has been here for a very, very long time though."

        "Oh, I agree about that," said Tony.

        "Come on, you two," I interrupted. "Let's go up this old road and see what this is all about." And Ted jumped down off the fence and we set out up the old, overgrown road.

        Sure enough, it was an old farm. The barn was falling down and the house had already fallen into the cellar. We looked around, poking into this building and that. There were several long buildings that we finally figured out must have been where the turkeys were raised. Certain clues led us to conclude this, the most important ones being the signs that said "Turkey House One" "Turkey House Two" and so on.

        And it was obvious that the farm had once raised turkeys! There were signs for Tuttle's Terribly Tender Turkeys all over the place. There were even signs on the roof of the farm's old outhouse (we didn't go in there)!

        Finally, we sat down on a rickety old bench in the shade of an old tree.

        "You know," Ted said, "I think that this place was once owned by a family named Tuttle."

        "Brilliant, Sherlock," I commented. "Positively brilliant."

        "And they raised turkeys here."

        I turned to Tony and said, in awe, "His brilliance outshines the sun."

        "And the turkeys got loose and grew to enormous size, like maybe as much as fifteen feet tall."

        "You're nuts," Tony and I said together.

        "Then what made those tracks over there?" asked Ted, pointing.

        Sure enough, on the ground not more than twelve feet twelve inches away were a row of tracks that had to have been made by a gigantic bird, probably a turkey!

        "Good thing they're going away from us," said Ted.

        "Good thing they're going away from us," said Tony in agreement.

        "Even better thing that they're really, really old," I said.

        "Huh?" said Ted and Tony together.

        "Sure. Look at them. They've turned to stone – they're fossilized!"

        And sure enough, they were.

        "Dinosaur footprints!" we said together in disbelief.

        "Hmmm..." Tony hummed. "Maybe not, maybe not. Remember what Dr. Edward Hitchcock thought about these kinds of tracks."

        "Who?" Ted and I queried.

        "Dr. Edward Hitchcock, of Amherst College somewhere out East, like in Rhode Island or Vermont or somewhere else.   He was a really top-notch scientist and when a local farmer brought him to see some tracks like these, Dr. Hitchcock said that he thought that they had been made by twelve-foot-high turkeys. And he collected a lot of footprints and became a Renowned Expert and always held that they were made by twelve-foot-high turkeys."

        "Ah, just for the record, when was this?" I asked Tony.

        "Around 1830, I think. But he lived a real long time! And he's very famous!"

        Ted and I just shook our heads.

        "OW!" shouted Tony.

        "What's up with you?" I asked as he went "OW!" again.

        "You pinched me. Hard!" he said.

        "I did not! I was shaking my head in dis – OW! OW! Ted, cut that out!"

        "Cut what OW! out?" asked Ted.

        We were jumping around, slapping at whatever was pinching us or...and then I recognized it. We were being pecked!

        "Hey, we're being pecked, not pinched!" I shouted.

        "Well, it still hurts!" Ted yelled back. "So stop it!" And just then he was hit right in the face with a big ball of really squooshy mud!

        "Whoa!" shouted Tony. "Let's get out of here!" And more balls of stinky, wet mud came flying at us!

        We ran. We ran really fast, past the old turkey houses and past the old barn and past the old collapsed house and down the old overgrown road and out the gate and there we fell panting on the grass. The pecking had stopped and no more mud was being flung at us.

        Slowly we got out breath back, and we walked over to a spring and had a long drink of cool water. Ted washed the nasty mud off his face and shirt and we set out for home.

        When we got there, we asked Mom about Tuttle's Terribly Tender Turkeys. She explained that many, many years ago a family named Tuttle raised turkeys on a farm somewhere. They never told anyone where it was, because they wanted to keep their turkey-raising secrets secret. One day, they moved away, and the only reason they ever gave was that "the ghosts of the old turkeys wouldn't let us alone." And nobody had ever found their old farm, until we did, of course. And we didn't tell Mom or anyone because we felt that it was better that way.

        Naturally, we talked about what had happened among ourselves. We even told Martha, who hadn't been there because she had been taking a course in Summer School, which we thought was a waste of summer. But she figured it out. She asked us a lot of questions, and finally we admitted that as we ran away we'd heard a sort of laughing "gobble gobble" sound around us. That made it clear to her that we had been attacked, like the Tuttles many years before, by poultrygeists.

        It never stopped us from eating turkey, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 03:50 PM

...gaining perverts by the thousands!

Yeah, that's probably true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 02:04 PM

That's a great pic of grampsgnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 12:47 PM

Have a great gnu year, everyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 11:33 AM

Your answer, Rap, proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are completely in the dark regarding the reality I speak of. This puts you in a condition usually described as "blissful ignorance", and I hope that you may derive much happiness from it. ;-)

Meanwhile, the Apostolic Church of Chongo is spreading like wildfire from Effigy, South Dakota all across the region, gaining converts by the thousands! Could this result in a Chongo presidency by acclamation in 2016?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 13 - 11:00 AM

I am predestinated... I know where I am going. Just dunno when. Maybe after lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 10:12 PM

Look, understand this: I CREATED everything. This universe and all other universes, all realities, every-f'ing-thing.

You only think you have Free Will, but of course that's predestined.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Dec 12 - 09:24 PM

Perhaps you are unaware of the entire parallel universe reality I am speaking of....


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