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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 Oct 12 - 02:48 PM
Amos 28 Oct 12 - 02:40 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 12 - 02:17 PM
gnu 28 Oct 12 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 12 - 11:23 AM
Amos 28 Oct 12 - 02:19 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 12 - 12:42 AM
Acme 28 Oct 12 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 12 - 11:14 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 12 - 07:42 PM
gnu 27 Oct 12 - 02:31 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Oct 12 - 12:50 PM
Amos 27 Oct 12 - 11:57 AM
Amos 27 Oct 12 - 04:18 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Oct 12 - 02:36 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 12 - 12:45 AM
Amos 27 Oct 12 - 12:41 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 12 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 12 - 03:04 PM
gnu 26 Oct 12 - 02:57 PM
Amos 26 Oct 12 - 02:49 PM
MMario 26 Oct 12 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 12 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,999 26 Oct 12 - 07:05 AM
Little Hawk 26 Oct 12 - 12:03 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 12 - 07:03 PM
gnu 25 Oct 12 - 06:45 PM
Amos 25 Oct 12 - 06:00 PM
gnu 25 Oct 12 - 05:27 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Oct 12 - 05:12 PM
Amos 25 Oct 12 - 04:49 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Oct 12 - 11:29 AM
Acme 25 Oct 12 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 12 - 09:59 AM
Amos 25 Oct 12 - 04:28 AM
Rapparee 24 Oct 12 - 11:43 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 12 - 11:38 PM
Amos 24 Oct 12 - 10:39 PM
Bobert 24 Oct 12 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 12 - 08:11 PM
gnu 24 Oct 12 - 07:13 PM
Amos 24 Oct 12 - 02:38 PM
Amos 24 Oct 12 - 01:28 PM
Amos 24 Oct 12 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 12 - 12:16 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Oct 12 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 24 Oct 12 - 11:29 AM
Acme 23 Oct 12 - 11:38 PM
Little Hawk 23 Oct 12 - 11:12 PM
Amos 23 Oct 12 - 11:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 02:48 PM

The tips of my fingers are turning black and starting to swell. I don't think this is swell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 02:40 PM

I am sorry for your troubles, Rapparee, and I appreciate the thought very much. I suggest you just by me a nice new banjo instead. I will send you an MP3 in exchange!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 02:17 PM

That was a typo in number 7, Rap. It should have read: 2020

Just like Chongo's vision! ;-) Yep, he's gonna fix absolutely everything in a mere 8 years...two terms. He will then retire from politics unless people demand that he stay by acclamation. If so, he'll consider it...out of a sense of duty, patriotism, and deep humility. It would require a constitutional amendment, of course, but Chongo has a number of those in mind anyway, so one more won't hurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 12:41 PM

You had better get to quilting before the amputation if you want A to have a Merry Christmas and a Warm New Year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 11:23 AM

Amos, last evening I was working on a quilt when I did prick myself with a pin -- in your terms, "[I stuck] a pin in it." I got some blood on the quilt, and around 2 a.m. I was taken to the hospital for septicemia. I'm loaded with antibiotics and someone will be checking on me several times a day for the next couple of weeks -- it was one of those strains that are immune to antibiotics. If the treatments fail the only hope is high amputation of my right arm.

I was making the quilt for you as a Christmas present.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 02:19 AM

Tell you what, Wise Guy--just stick a pin in it.

It's only what you got coming.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 12:42 AM

It's not a spinner number. 66166 would be a spinner, but not this last one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 12 - 12:21 AM

Sorry to drop out of sight for a couple of days, but I see you've been keeping yourselves amused. My computer monitor started quivering and wanted to spin as I went over that spinner number of Amos'. Whew!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 11:14 PM

The timetable for number 7 is about what I'd expect from ANY politician, especially a chuimp like Chonga.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 07:42 PM

Chongo has very ambitious plans for when he gets elected.

1. job creation: move half of the Rocky Mountains to the Midwest in order to employ millions of people and provide some breathtaking scenery for the people in the boring flat center of the country.

2. more job creation: build giant shock absorbers under the State of Maine, so that the next earthquake won't freak them out so much.

3. yet more job creation: More firing ranges and gun clubs to be opened in every American town and city so that people can learn responsible use of firearms.

4. agriculture: new banana and mango plantations in Florida, California, and Texas.

5. foreign policy: end ALL foreign wars, dismantle ALL offshore USA military bases, and bring the troops home.

6. atomic weapons policy: begin dismantling the nukes in stages, after securing agreement with the other nuclear powers to do the same on a common schedule. Objective? No nukes by the year 2020.

7. power policy: dismantle nuclear power stations...they're too hazardous...replace them with green energy sources of various kinds. This to be achieved by 2010.

8. dipping bird power! The new incredible green energy source. Gigantic dipping bird installations will provide a totally clean source of energy.

9. free medical care: Same as in France. No monkeying around. Everyone gets government-insured medical care totally for free. If the private health insurance companies don't like it, they can try relocating in Russia, the Ukraine, or somewhere else like that.

10. Total equality for apes, monkeys, and humans.

11. Interspecies marriage to be legalized. Gay marriage to be legalized. Marriage of people to their own selves or their dog to be legalized. Basically, anyone will be able to marry anyone else who is willing and of the age of consent under a Chongo administration.

12. Amos/Rapparee Slander Law - A specific law to be passed to muzzle both Amos and Rapparee if they utter further slanderous statements against a monkey, an ape, or a human. Punishment for violations to be determined later by a jury of Chongo's peers.

13. Bobertz Recklessness Prevention Law - A law to be passed which will hopefully prevent Bobert from killing himself with his tractor, his power tools, his car, his electric toothbrush, his weed, and his remarks about "womenz".

And that's just the beginning!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 02:31 PM

A banana and some pot for everyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 12:50 PM

Just like yer head will spin when I take the Oath of Office.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 11:57 AM

It could STILL spin, wise guy. Stick a pin in it. You'll see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 04:18 AM

Dear ape person:

Thoise of us who speak English well understand the use of synonyms. Go, and synomore.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 02:36 AM

It's the moronocracy, dumbo! Do I gotta tell you everything?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 12:45 AM

I shall not deign to reply to such a specious and obviously false observation. It is beneath my notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 12 - 12:41 AM

You are an insulting useless tool of the idocracy, sir, and not worth the spittle on a bee's bottom.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 04:40 PM

Or, in Amos' case, a Palen-drone, seeing that all them retired folks in Sandy-ego are Republican Tea Party-goers.

Retired folks out THIS way gotta scratch fer a livin', like chickens in a poor chicken yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 03:04 PM

No, he has dropped by to give the place an additional touch of class. I'm usually around, trying my very best to give this joint a high tone (F over high C or better) and some of that-there sophistication you read so much about.

It would be nice if he dropped in more often. Perhaps for tea or something. A nice cuppa tea, some warm scones -- NOT the prune-and-cheese scones gnu makes! -- perhaps a crumpet or two.

That was not a spinner, Amos, but a palindrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 02:57 PM

I went out with a spinner once. THAT is real screwing.

Yo, 9! Whaddya at b'y? Slummin? Ya'd fit roight in, ye would.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 02:49 PM

SPINNNER SPINNNNER!!! SPINNNNNNNER!!!!!



46264



Neeeener....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 12:04 PM

"Say it backwards ten times"

ti.
ti.
ti.ti.ti.ti.ti.
ti.ti.ti.

What were we suppossed t hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 09:34 AM

I did that and now I can't get my tongue untied.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,999
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 07:05 AM

This is post 46261. Say it backwards ten times. You'll hear what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 12 - 12:03 AM

Wow! That is good stuff. The Lone Ranger was definitely on the right track, aside from his rather paternal way of treating Tonto.

"that men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number."

Socialism! Gosh, who'da thunk the Lone Ranger would be on the same side as Fidel Castro? I am delighted to find out that he had such high ideals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 07:03 PM

Amos! Guess what I found! It's the Lone Ranger's Creed!

I believe...

    that to have a friend, a man must be one.
    that all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.
    that God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself.
    in being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right.
    that a man should make the most of what equipment he has.
    that 'this government of the people, by the people, and for the people' shall live always.
    that men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.
    that sooner or later...somewhere...somehow...we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.
    that all things change but truth, and that truth alone, lives on forever.
    in my Creator, my country, my fellow man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 06:45 PM

A.... that line... Too much broth can spoil the cook. Sometimes, one single clause can endear a song to me forever. That is one. Here is another from Tull... "And with the clearest eyes of forever grey". I shall leave your imagination to discover (conjecture perhaps) the circumstances...

White Innocence

Songwriters: IAN ANDERSON

She drifted from some minor festival.
Didn't look like any summner of love:
Just a thousand weekend warriors in a muddy field.
She was the hand to fit my glove.
Funny thing, the innocence of the lonely.
Funny thing, the charm of the young.

See how she moves just like two angels (in white innocence).
Yet one of them is on the run.
The other's tapping at my car window
And I'm squinting through the sun
Trying to see if she's some child of the nineties:
Or just another dangerous fantasy of mine.
Yeah. White innocence.
She was white innocence.

A perfect hole was in her stocking:
It made a perfect window to her heart.
I could have moved among her waterfalls:
Her misty curtains drawn apart.
Did she see warm safety in my numbers
To want to hitch a ride this way?
Felt like I was taking her to market now
To be sold as the last lot of the day.
Funny thing, the distance of the lonely.
Funny thing, the charm of the young.
White innocence.

She pressed the button, lowered the window:
Let her hand trail in the slipstream of the night.
A frost from nowhere seemed to lick her fingers:
I could have warmed them, but the moment wasn't right.
Obvious, she was headed nowhere special:
Yes, well it was even obvious to me.
I was doing some, some watching, some waiting:
She'd been here before, most definitely.

There was the promise of early bed-time.
There was the promise of heaven on earth.
Think I was sending out low-voltage electricity:
Played it right down for what it was worth.
She turned and looked at me in white innocence
And with the clearest eyes of forever grey
She rested one small hand for a second on my knee:
I stopped the car. She walked away.
Funny thing, the wisdom of the lonely.
Funny thing, the charm of the young.
Away you go now.
White innocence.

I dunno if I should advise you to seek these songs at YT... they are not played in folk fashion.

Oh... "Crumbs on the breakfast table and a million other things to spoil my day." is another.

Did I say I was a Tull fan? I'll stop now.

But it's damn hard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 06:00 PM

Beautiful stuff, Gnu!

Chongo, Chinga does not live in Mexico. You are, as usual, confused, probably from telling too many false stories about her. She will pick up your trail in the universe in which you both reside, and when she does, your days will turn to sorrow, gay-RUN-teed. Woe will betide, for you, as you know perfectly well, have sinned against your own blood and lived a dishonorable (relative) life.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 05:27 PM

Sparrow farts... I was minded of a song I truly love.

WARNING... Jethro Tull in the house...

Jethro Tull Sparrow On The Schoolyard Wall

Songwriters: IAN ANDERSON

You want to be a bookworm? You wanna be aloof?
You wanna sit in judgement, looking down from the roof?
Try a wee sensation: but first you have to want to join in.
You should be, should be raging down the freeway
With some friends from the mall.
Don't stay forever in your limbo: fly before you fall
Little sparrow on the schoolyard wall.

So dress a little dangerous and modify your walk.
There's nothing wrong with sparrows, but try
To be a sparrowhawk.
Hunting in the evening and floating in the heat in the day.
You might, might acquire some predatory instinct.
Do the wolf pack crawl.
Don't stay forever in your limbo: fly before you fall
Little sparrow on the schoolyard wall.

Well, I don't want to be your daddy.
Don't want to be your engineer of sin.
And I don't want to play the piper here.
I'm only banging on a mandolin
And anyway, you're just a little sparrow
On the schoolyard wall.

There's nothing wrong with learning. Nothing wrong With your books.
So exercise some judgement. Too much broth can spoil the cook.
Feel a little sensation and know when it's time to join in.
You should be, should be raging down the freeway
With some friends from the mall.
Don't stay forever in your limbo: fly before you fall
Little sparrow on the schoolyard wall.

Tull. Such amazing poetry and story telling and musicianship. Yes, truly disconcerting at times in their description of human reality but one of my votes for the best yet. I like the pipes, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 05:12 PM

You got the bald-faced nerve to say she's gonna "pick up" my trail and say in the same breath that I'm not real??? You are losin' it, mister. You need professional help...by which I mean a couple good whacks with a tire iron.

Look, if I did have a relative named "Chinga" and she was livin' in Mexico, she woulda had the sense to change her name a long time ago! We apes are not as stupid as some of you humans are, y'know...specially not in my family. We pay attention to culture and we adapt. This is how we've survived for over 20 million years, and it's probably how we'll outlive you and your relatives in the long run. One day yer gonna look at Mount Rushmore and see 4 ape heads there, buddy.

Charlton Heston useta have nightmares about stuff like that. That's what drove him crazy in the end, and it's probably why he was a Republican too.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 04:49 PM

THen I'll know what a drag it is to see you!!

Seriously though, Chinga is not going to be put off with a bunch of denial and bluster from the scalawag ne'er-do-well bum that she helped change diapers on when she was a sprat. Fuhgeddaboudit! One day, she's gonna pick up yer trail, and let's hope your bank accounts are all off-shore when that happens, you hypothetical fuzz-faced slacker.

Trust all is well with you,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 11:29 AM

So you are urgin' people to confront the situation as it IS, are ya, Amos? Ha! That's funny. Look, Roscoe, it was YOU who invented a fictional sister for me for no other purpose than to embarass me and cause trouble. I figger yer just an Obama stooge tryin' to make political hay out of a false story, nothin' more to it than that.

This was after you had found some loco in the coco nutbar female Chimp down in Mexico, one crazy enough to give herself an obscene Spanish name! God knows what you are doin' with her when you go down there...I don't even want to KNOW about that! It's disgustin'.

But then you work up a little conspiracy to have her claim to be my sister???? For shame! You got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend. (Hmmmm....now who was it who said that?) Anytime I been down you just stood there grinnin'. I know what it is with you. You just wanta be on the side that's winnin'. Well, mister, one day you are gonna be standin' in my shoes, yer gonna hafta deal with the Mystery Tramp yerself, and then you'll see how it feels!

Yessiree.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 10:45 AM

I don't know about the hot/skank look of Winona, but I do like her handbag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 09:59 AM

An exegesis of LH's last post points up the expectation of those who have not yet achieved the Überzeitgeist necessary for a full appreciation of Lebenwieesscheint and Lebenalswahrheit, or more precisely, Wahrheitdeslebens. he must, obviously, come to grips with the Σπήλαιο σκιά in which he currently exists and extract from it the Σπηλιά του πραγματικού and from that move into the ηλιοφάνεια του πραγματικού so that he can at last experience the 실제의 현실입니다 promised by those, who like myself, are Truly Understand.

Amos ain't all there yet either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 12 - 04:28 AM

I already HAVE it both ways, sir! I urge you to confront the situation as it is!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 11:43 PM

Sure you can!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 11:38 PM

Ha! Good stuff, Amos.

Now, why should I respond to some moron on Facebook dissing the lovely and talented Winona Ryder? Really, my time would be better spent doing something like...defending Chongo. ;-) Yessir.

So, here goes. Amos, you seem bent on asserting that Chongo has no corporial reality. You go on to deny his very existence. Yet I believe it was YOU who burdened the world with tales about his alleged sister Chinga, and you keep insisting that SHE DOES exist...just so you can pester Chongo about it and make him feel guilty.

You can't have it both ways, sir!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 10:39 PM

Imagine the slide-steel whine of Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited" with the drums wailing behind, that hard rocking whine that tells you the rock and roll is gonna be good, opening into this:

Oh God told Maxwell, "Build me a Site!"
Max says, "Chill, I been drinkin' all night"
God say, "Tough." Max say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Max, but
Just don't come knocking at no Pearly Gate!"
Well Max says, "Just what d'ye want this site to say?"
God says, "Let's just call it Mudcat Cafe."

Well Old Man Spaw he had a bloody nose
Stuck in a ward with paper-towel clothes
He asked the doctors, where can I go
Doctor said there's only one place I know
Where they'll still love you, when you're old and gray...
Spaw sez, "Quick, man, show me the way!"
Doc says, "It's down at the Mudcate Cafe".

Well Rick the Field said to Big Joe King,
I got forty second-hand folkies who cain't sing
And a ream of old Gibsons with broken strings
Do you know where I can get rid of these things?
And Big Joe said let me think if there ain't some way...
And he hands old Rick a blue clicky piece of Cleigh
"Just take it all down to that Mudcate Cafe".

Now the fifteenth newbie on the fortieth thread
Said the jargon was gettin' stuck in her head
And the Songbook scansion was ruining her night!
So Troll said come here and step into the light... he says hmm you're right
Let me tell the Gaelic Goddess, she'll make it all OK,
But the Gaelic Goddess, she was having her way
With a sad-eyed poet out at the Mudcat Cafe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 08:50 PM

Heck of a song, Amos...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 08:11 PM

gnu, your statements regarding hummingbird flatulence are correct as far as they go. But the hummingbird, of any species, can control their output, so to speak, for quantity, quality, and velocity. Being as small as they are, hummingbirds can and do use this ability to literally rocket to supersonic speeds and skewer those aggressors who dare attack them with their long, sharp bills. These bills then break off and re-grow in a couple of days.

Hummingbirds, when attacked, emit a "hum" for help that brings other hummingbirds from great distnces. It is a little known fact that many animals which are thought to be porcupines are really guinea pigs, raccoons, and other animals which thought they'd take on a hummingbird and found a flock of the little critters instead. This sort of attack is known to ornithologists as a "gang hum."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 07:13 PM

That Nona link is disgusting. Sick people abound. Trying to make $ off her in such... oh, just disgusting!

Sparrow-farts? I'd say hummingbird farts as they would surely be less in volume (dieregardin quality, of course (sorry for the bathroom humour)) no?... but such farts outweigh by far the farts of all others because the hummingbird is king. The Hbird rules all others. The smallest bird of all can kick ANY other bird's ass and that includes one at a time or all comers at once. They can kick cat ass, squirrel ass, weasel ass, coon ass... they are... simply... the king of birds.

No shit, man. I don't want a weenie dog or an Irish Wolfhound (be still my heart) or a chimp or any... I want a flock of Hbirds... at my command. Then, the next time that little yappy dog (dogsss... on BOTH sides of me) starts barking at 6AM, I'll shall instruct my servants to LOOSE THE HUMMERS! and collect the dead.

Do those dog whistles that only dogs can hear really work? If so, I might get one. Just an experiment. Beats some of my other thoughts regarding my neighbours' intrusion on the quiet enjoyment of my property, as per British Common Fucking Law.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 02:38 PM

Looks like someone is dissing Winona. Time to pick up the gauntlet, Hawkster!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 01:28 PM

The Crash of the Mudcat Server by Amos
(Tune: On Springfield Mountain)

In Pennsylvania, there did dwell
An NT Server, I knew well
This server's disks and RAM and FAT
were dedicated to the 'Cat.

Chorus:
O toory oory, reety-reet,
Escape, Control and Alt-Delete!

One day this server of the race
A single digit, did misplace
And in a register so deep
A hex code conflict soon did creep!

Chorus

This simple error, small and fine
Soon crashed the Cat's collective mind!
Dismay and grief did quickly spread!
And several Mudcats lost their heads

Brave Dave, the Canuck sailor bold
Upon his floor did quickly fold.
While lost to chat, our gentle Ann
Burned all the cookies in the pan!

Chorus

Joe Offer did his very best
To help dear Allison find a guest
While Max stayed up through half the night
Until the damn machine ran right

While Sorcha, sophocleese and Kat
Feared that they might be going bats
And Amos ran around the halls
Suffering symptoms of withdrawal!

Chorus

But now the Mudcat's back on line
And everything seems to be fine
One moral we can carry back!
If you must get hooked, please get a Mac!

Chorus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 12:59 PM

WHat does it mean when an imaginary being tries to be insulting? I chuckle in my sleeve at the notion of Chongo running through mental spaces trying out various tricks of the mind to try and make me feel bad, all the while avoiding encounters with his furious sister Chinga. Strenuous living for such a nebulous creature, indeed! LOL! Sparrow-farts are more substantial. At least they can be measured in the real world. Chongo goes right through the real world, unheeded, unnoticed, forgiven, like a bad idea in a convent full of nuns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 12:16 PM

That little miasma would asphyxiate you, Chonga.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 11:54 AM

When I think of Amos, what comes to mind is somethin' sorta like a vague mist that rises from a swamp in the mornin' and burns off in the sun after about a minute or so. You might think it's there...and then it's not. Encounterin' Amos in real life would be like encounterin' a dry fart that is dispersin' in a gentle breeze...briefly disconcertin' and decidedly unappealin', but not really what one would call a major problem. If it happened to me, I'd just hold my breath for a few seconds and keep walkin'.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 12 - 11:29 AM

And in the morning. Wakes you up, gets you ready for the day, helps you get "your man for breakfast." Can't hardly start the day out here in The Wilde Weste without shootin' somebody that needs shootin', can ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 12 - 11:38 PM

A single malt scotch is good, but earlier in the evening. Not right before bedtime, it interferes with falling to sleep normally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 12 - 11:12 PM

He regards you as pretty insubstantial too, but he's usually polite enough not to say so. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 12 - 11:08 PM

Single malt on ice--perfect nightcap. But don't give Chongo one. If he knocks back a shot it'll go all over the floor,being as how he is imaginary, you know.


Drink just goes right through him.


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